Pursuing Discipleship in All of Life

Discipleship is not a program. It’s life.  We’ve misunderstood discipleship too long as simply one part of our lives and we’ve strayed from the biblical teaching that to be a disciple means your identity is in Christ and that true disciples make disciples. I want to flesh that out practically. The purpose of discipleship is maturity, or Christ-likeness. Therefore, Christian discipleship must be intentional and purposeful. However, intentional and purposeful doesn’t always mean planned. Oftentimes, discipleship is spontaneous. This is a good place to point at that we are always discipling and that’s part of the problem in many churches.

There is intentionality in discipleship, but this is more than just formally teaching a class on “5 steps to be a better mom.” Our lives teach others daily. So, our pursuit of holiness (or lack thereof), teaches. Everything we do teaches. Our songs we sing, our Christianese sayings, the way we live, even how we drive. This is what I call informal discipleship.

Now, this does not take away from being intentional. It reinforces it. Informal discipleship is only one part of the discipleship process. I want to look at four ways to discipleship.

• Informal Discipleship—Model of good works (Titus 2:7), Character building, life on life, pursuing holiness together
• Formal Discipleship—Verbal instruction, Information transfer, biblical teaching, sound doctrine
• Spontaneous—No plan, just ‘happens’
• Intentional—Deliberate, purposeful, plan, commitment

We now have a launching point to look at the ways that Christians are always discipling. I want to encourage us to carefully think through all four of these areas in an effort to make, mature, and multiply disciples in all of life.

1. Informal Spontaneous Discipleship

This is Matthew 5:16 in action: "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." You don’t say at “2:37pm I’m going to plan a confrontation with a rude cashier so my child can see how a Christian responds.” It’s naturally happening in mature believers’ lives whether at work, home, or school. I don’t plan arguments with my wife, but they do happen (and they are usually my fault!). Am I clear in my repentance to her? My children see this. What about when I’m cut off in traffic? What about the way I treat our waiter when we are eating out? Our children are watching us.

Here’s another example. My oldest son has finally graduated from the type of “baseball” where everyone wins. This season he’s playing with a pitching machine, umpires, and real competition. How do I respond when a bad call is made? When he wins? When he loses? When the coach makes a mistake? The other parents on the team know that I am a Christian and when these things come up it is my goal to let my light shine in a way that gives testimony to the change that has been wrought within me by the power of the gospel. This is informal spontaneous discipleship.

2. Informal Intentional Discipleship

This is being an intentional model of good works that often happens weekly. This is intentionally putting yourself around others to show them what a Christian looks like. Specifically, this works best in a discipleship relationship in which you are pouring into a small group of people (1-3) from your local church.  This is loving them by showing them what a Christian looks like in daily life (Col. 3:12-15). This kind of discipleship occurs prayerfully, intentionally, and purposefully when we commit to invest in someone else’s life. This is done in homes, in restaurants, taking someone along to shop for groceries with you, hunting, fishing, volunteering together, etc. This is a small group we invest our lives in. Think of Jesus, Paul, Barnabas—each had a few that they built close bonds with.

Here’s what that looks like in my pastoral ministry. For my family, this is about letting people in our lives. In the last year, I became pastor of an older congregation in rural Arkansas. We continue to grow in being intentional in inviting people over for meals. We have given our congregation a copy of my son’s baseball schedule. When people invite us somewhere we try to make ourselves available to go. The point is for us to actually be around people in real life situations so that they can see what the love of Christ shed abroad in our hearts looks like “out there.” And so that we can learn from them.

3. Formal Spontaneous Discipleship

This is 1 Peter 3:15 in action: "In your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." I live in Arkansas where recently we experienced an EF4 tornado that wreaked havoc in several communities. None of us “planned” a tornado, but we can be intentional about using this experience to teach others things pertinent to the gospel. I was on a trip the other day with a church member to help clean up some of the recent destruction from the tornadoes that came through Arkansas on April 27th. As we talked about the power that winds can do, I shared the truth about God’s power over even the strongest winds.

In his book Follow Me and in his most recent Secret Church simulcast, David Platt talked about weaving gospel themes into our everyday conversations. Opportunities are all around us, but we must look for them. All of us want to grow in communicating the gospel more frequently, myself included. This is one of the ways I’ve grown in that, although I need to grow more! How can we connect our everyday situations to God? What does daily life tell us about our fallenness? What about God’s goodness or love? Or his wrath?

Think of Deuteronomy 6:7 “as you walk by the way” as things come up in life you give a biblical perspective on them. I use the moon and the stars often with my children asking them “Who made that?” And then when they tell me God, I ask “Why did God make that?” The answer of course being “for His glory” (Ps. 19:1). Have to be devoted to knowing Scripture to do this effectively. You can’t “plan” the providential hand of God but you can devote yourself to knowing and memorizing Scripture so that when things do come up, you can give a gospel-centered answer.

4. Formal Intentional Discipleship

When people think “discipleship” now days, I think this is what they think.  This is intentionally setting up time with others to teach them to observe all that Jesus has commanded us (Matt. 28:20). This happens semi-regularly and is purposeful teaching, usually verbal instruction. Maybe you meet every Thursday morning for half an hour over coffee.  Maybe you meet every Tuesday at lunch.  Maybe you meet every other Monday night. You go through Scripture together, you have a plan, whether reading a book together, or going through books of the bible together.

Also, family worship would fall into this category. Our goal is to have family worship 3-4 times a week. Some weeks it’s more, and some weeks it is less. For us, family worship is simply a time to sing a couple songs, memorize Scripture together, and catechize our children. Sometimes we use the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. This whole process takes about 15 minutes on average (sometimes more, sometimes less). We start out by singing the “Doxology.” We then move to the verses our children have memorized. Sometimes we stop on these verses and ask what they mean and tie them to the gospel.

On nights we don’t do memory verses, we do catechism. Right now we use questions from Carine Mackenzie’s My 1st Book of Questions and Answers. We also have recently been working in some questions from The New City Catechism. Then we read a passage of Scripture. It may be a Psalm, or where daddy is preaching from (currently, I am going through Genesis and Psalm 119), or something else that my wife or I have read in the bible that week. Our children are 6, 4, 2, and 4 months, so we don’t have lengthy theological discussions, although it is a joy to be involved in some of the discussions we do have! Sometimes it feels like the whole time is spent telling our 2 year old to listen or sit down.

Finally, we close by singing a song or two (my kids love “The Gospel Song” by Sovereign Grace Music) and then prayer. This is a time to weekly share the gospel with our children. I must emphasize though that this doesn’t “just happen.” It has to be planned and worked in and labored at or you will find that weeks have gone by and you’ve failed to have a family worship (I speak from experience).

Vital for Discipleship

All four ways to disciple are biblical and vital to making mature disciples. The examples in this post highlight the personal aspect of discipleship—what you are doing to disciple others. There are plenty of examples for the corporate aspect of discipleship as well—how discipleship fits in with the regular gathering of the local church. You’re still doing spontaneous-informal, spontaneous-formal, intentional-informal, and intentional-formal discipleship every Sunday. While Sunday is a major component of discipleship, it’s not all discipleship consists of. Discipleship is multifaceted and should be intentionally worked it into every aspect of your life. Christians are to be disciples who make disciples. My conviction is that you are always teaching. So maximize your efforts for making disciples to the glory of God by pursuing discipleship in all of life.

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Allen Nelson IV  has been in gospel ministry for 8 years and is currently serving as Pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Clinton, AR.  He has an undergrad degree in History Education and is in the long process of pursuing his M.Div from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife Stephanie have been married for 7 years and have 4 beautiful children and 1 aesthetically challenged dog.  He is passionate about the amazing, awesome, and all encompassing grace of Jesus.  He also likes alliteration. You can follow him on Twitter: @CuatronNelson

Living in Light of the Incarnation

If we do not understand the weight of the miracle of the incarnation of Christ, it is because we do not understand the weight of the holiness of God. The incarnation is shocking. It is outrageous to think that an infinite and holy God would voluntarily become finite to live with unholy sinners. In fact, the incarnation is so appalling that it is the thing that separates Christianity from Islam and Judaism. The Jerusalem Talmud says, “If man claims to be God, he is a liar” (Ta’anit 2:1), while the Quran says, “Allah begets not and was not begotten” (Sura al-Ikhlas 112). Jews and Muslims understand how ludicrous it is to think that a holy God would humiliate himself by becoming human.

The Dreadful Holiness of God

The holiness of God is fearful. But if we want to know God and ourselves, we must begin by seeing how much God loves his holiness and cherishes his purity. If we do not start here, the gospel will become cheap to us. As A.W. Tozer wrote in The Knowledge of the Holy,

“Unless the weight of the burden is felt, the gospel can mean nothing to man; and until he sees a vision of God high and lifted up, there will be no woe and no burden. Low views of God destroy the gospel for all who hold them.”

Under the old covenant, people responded to the holiness of God with awe and reverence. When Moses met the Lord, he “hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God” (Ex 3:6). Then, years later, when he begged to see God’s glory, God said, “You cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live” (Ex 33:20). When the ark of the Lord was being brought back to Israel, some men looked inside of it and, as a result, the Lord struck down fifty thousand men. The people despaired, “Who is able to stand before the Lord, this holy God?” (1 Sam. 6:20). When David was bringing the ark to Jerusalem, one man merely touched it, and God struck him down immediately, “And David was afraid of the Lord that day, and he said, ‘How can the ark of the Lord come to me?’” (2 Sam. 6:9). The nearer Ezekiel approached the throne of the Lord, the less sure his words became: “Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face” (Ez 1:28).

Not only did people tremble at his holiness, the Lord himself frequently spoke about it. Through Isaiah, he said, “Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him his counsel … All the nations are as nothing before him, they are accounted by him as less than nothing and emptiness” (Is 40:13, 17). When Job finished calling his character into question, the Lord answered from the whirlwind, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? . . . Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” (Job 38:2, 4).

The Incarnation of that Dreadful Holiness

Jesus embodies the holiness of God because he is God and has been with God from the beginning (Jn 1:1-2). This means that, when God acted under the old covenant, Jesus—as part of the Godhead—was right there with him. This is why the incarnation is a shocking miracle. In Christ, God has effected self-disclosure. Our holy God, who told Moses, “for man shall not see me and live,” became incarnate. People saw him and lived.

Our holy God, who struck down a man for touching the ark and another fifty thousand for looking inside of it, became incarnate. People spit upon him and lived. Our holy God, whose throne was so magnificent that Ezekiel failed to find words to describe it, became incarnate. He was born as a baby in a manger, not a throne. Our holy God, who demanded blood sacrifices to atone for sin, became incarnate. He allowed himself to be butchered on a cross.

Our holy God, who asked Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” became incarnate. He was born in an insignificant little town and worked as a mere carpenter in Nazareth.

Incarnation in Our Cities

What does the incarnation mean for us today?

First, the incarnation means that we live in the world, but not of it. As Jesus prayed for his disciples, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world” (Jn 17:15). In other words, we pursue holy lives of obedience and sacrifice even as we engage in our cities.

Second, the incarnation means that we seek opportunities to deny ourselves. Self-denial is not a popular topic in our culture, but it is the starting point for Christian growth in the mind of Christ. When Jesus became incarnate, he voluntarily denied himself the privileges of being God in order to be mocked and killed (Phil. 2:8). He did this because he longed to redeem us and knew that, in order to accomplish our salvation, the demands of his holiness had to be met. We could not meet them, so he met them for us. We, in turn, are to have the same mind, “do[ing] nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count[ing] others more significant than [our]selves” (Phil. 3:3). We deny ourselves to love others.

Third, the incarnation means that we do not love money. God is the richest being in the universe. Everything is made by him, through him and for him. Yet as he looked upon the world and decided into what family he would come, he chose the poorest of the poor. When Mary and Joseph went to the temple after the birth of Jesus, Luke records, “And when the time came for their purification according to the Law of Moses, they brought [Jesus] up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. . . and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the Law of the Lord, ‘a pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons’” (Lk 2:22-24). Under the Law, the regular sacrifice was a lamb, but there was a provision for poor mothers: “If she cannot afford a lamb, then she shall take two turtledoves or two pigeons” (Lv 12:8). This is what Mary brought. Jesus, who had all the riches of the world at his disposal, chose to be incarnate into a family that could not even afford a regular sacrifice. Let us not love riches.

Fourth, the incarnation means that we should not overvalue physical beauty. Our culture loves external appearances, but the incarnate Christ chose to come as someone who had no physical beauty or majesty. He is the most glorious person who has ever lived, but we did not recognize his glory. Thousands saw him with their eyes, but they saw nothing with their hearts. We, in turn, must look for beauty in our world with the eyes of our heart. What will we see when we look at the world this way? We will see that, today, the Lord lives in the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick, and the prisoner. As Jesus taught, when we care for such people, we do this unto him.

Finally, the incarnation means that God is for us. Paul was not merely referring to the crucifixion when he wrote, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Rom. 8:31-32). He was also referring to the incarnation, when Jesus left the side of the Father to become man and accomplish our salvation. The incarnation means that God is for us. Jesus left the Godhead and all the privileges thereof to die. He lived a humiliating and self-denying life to bring us to God, where there are pleasures forevermore (Ps 16:11). He veiled his awful and fearful holiness so that we could touch him, see him, know him, and love him. No longer does he say, “No man can see my face and live.” Today, he says, “See my face and be satisfied” (Ps 17:15).

When we live in light of the incarnation of Christ, our lives will be shocking to others. Although we are sons and daughters of the King, we must humiliate ourselves by serving others. All things may be permissible, but we will deny ourselves certain things or activities so that we can grow in our love for God and others. We will earn money, but we will strategize how to give it away for the sake of the kingdom. Living in a physical world, we will spend more effort on cultivating our inner beauty than our outer beauty. We will trust in the promises of God more than our circumstances because we know he is for us. When we live like this, people will think we are ludicrous. They will find our choices shocking. Yet we will point to the miracle of the incarnation of Christ. Our lives will testify to the great news of Advent. That news is this: Christ has come, God is with us.

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Bethany L. Jenkins is the director of TGC’s Every Square Inch and the founder of The Park Forum. She previously worked on Wall Street and on Capitol Hill. She received her JD from Columbia Law School and attends Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, where she was a Gotham Fellow through the Center for Faith & Work. You can follow her on Twitter.

Raising Teens in the Shadows

Discipleship in the Teen Years

We all want our kids to experience salvation through Jesus at a young age, don’t we? We sense that the earlier they know and understand the gospel, the better. If they can grasp the penetrating love of God in a personal way, they will be spared many painful years of rebellion and grief. And so will we.

So we share the gospel with them from day one. We contextualize the truth for our little ones, reading to them from children’s storybook Bibles and singing songs about Jesus. We want them to understand, as best they can, that Jesus loves them, died for them, and has made a way for them to be close to God.

Some of them get it. Their little hearts embrace the truth and they ask Jesus to save them. We rejoice, knowing that their future is secure and that the Father holds them close.

But our job doesn’t end there.

What happens when that little heart grows into a bigger heart and questions the gospel he learned and believed as a kid? What happens when the joyful little girl who knew the love of Jesus begins to look shadowed and burdened, wondering if it all makes sense?

Both our teenagers expressed faith in Christ and his gospel at an early age. We are grateful for that and feel blessed that God drew them to himself. In our joy and relief, we have been tempted to relax, thinking our spiritual job as parents is complete. But we all know that isn’t the case. Ahead of our kids lies a long road of discipleship, and they need someone to show them the way, continuing to help them apply the gospel to the different stages of their lives.

Discipleship in the Shadows

One of our kids has lately found herself in a lonely place. We raised her on a diet of truth, but she is struggling to see how the truth she knew as a kid relates to the pain she knows now that she’s older.  She wonders whether faith in Jesus can make any real difference in her life. Or whether the whole thing falls into the category of bedtime stories and lullabies.

She’s at the point where the stories need to come true. The stories have always been true, of course, but now she needs to know them true. For real. For her.

Her struggle makes me sad. I want to fix it, erase it, or make it go away. I want to go back to the smiling days, the happy days, the days before the gray cloud moved in and settled over her soul. And our home.

There are days when I handle the shadows well. I understand her struggle and feel compassion for her. I am able, by God’s grace, to love her unconditionally and to wait patiently for the Spirit to work in her heart, to lead her back into the light. I have faith that God’s got her.

And then there are other days. Those days her struggle frustrates me. I want her to get over it, get past it, move away from it so that we can get back to living in light and joy. I take her resistance personally and think about holding her at arm’s length.

Those days I feel like I’m getting in the way.

“He didn’t let his sin hinder my progress”

Last Sunday we heard a moving testimony from guy in our church who did not, unfortunately, come to know Jesus as a child. He told us the story of how his sin took him into the wrong crowd in middle school, into drugs in high school, and eventually into a 6x9 prison cell with nothing but a metal bed and a Bible on the counter.

God came for him in that 6x9, making his word come alive in that young man’s soul. We rejoiced with him as he continued his story, showing how God rescued him and is using him to minister to other troubled teens in our city.

But the part of his story that gripped me was how he described his father. All through his years of teenage rebellion, he told how his father prayed for him. His father continued to love him, sometimes in a tough and unyielding way. His father had his own rebellious past, his own current struggles, and certainly felt an enormous amount of grief as his son repeated his past mistakes. But rather than punishing or berating, shaming or abandoning his son, this father persisted in praying for him. His son told us, “He didn’t let his sin hinder my progress.” He didn’t get in the way.

Loving Through the Shadows

As I attempt to love my daughter through her struggle, I am trying to get out of the way. I am trying not to let my sin hinder her progress. As I fluctuate between good days and bad days in regard to my flesh, I’d like to share with you with some common traps I’ve fallen into, places where my sin threatens to entangle both myself and my daughter. Maybe you can recognize these lies in your own parenting:

You’re ruining my peace. As we have transitioned from the golden years of elementary school into the turbulent waters of teen life, I have been tempted to resent the one who is disturbing the peace. I tend to blame the one struggling for threatening to take the rest of the family down with her.

You’re making me look bad. When my kids struggle spiritually, I can make it about myself. I worry that their struggle somehow tarnishes my reputation. Diminishes my ministry effectiveness. (This trap can especially ensnare those of us in vocational ministry.)

You’re my life’s work, and you’re failing. We pour ourselves into our kids, wanting more than anything for them to walk with Jesus. When they question, struggle, or even rebel, we get angry. They are not cooperating with our goals. Our life’s work seems to be in shambles.

Ugly, I know. These traps reveal some pretty nasty idols. We find ourselves no longer worshiping God, but worshiping peace or approval or our performance instead. When we give into these lies, we get in the way of what God is doing in our kids’ lives. We let our sin hinder their progress.

Get out of the way

I am learning to get out of the way. I am learning how to keep my sin from hindering my daughter’s progress. These practices help keep me out of fleshly idol-worshiping traps:

Remember the gospel. I need to hear the same gospel that she does. I need to remind myself of Jesus’ work on my behalf, and allow God’s kindness to lead me to repentance. As I confess my sin and receive God’s grace, I am able to express compassion toward my daughter and struggle with her rather than against her.

Run to Jesus. I also need to daily remind myself that my peace, approval, and significance are all found in Jesus, not in my circumstances or my performance. My relationship with Jesus is the only dependable place to find what I long for. I need to look to him to meet my needs, rather than placing that burden on my daughter.

Pray for grace. I am realizing that it’s going to take a lot of prayer to keep my sin out of the way. I need to begin each day with a plea for grace, for myself and for my daughter as we struggle together.

Don’t panic. I need to remember that the gospel is big enough for any struggle. God is faithful to hold those who belong to him close, forever. He is the one working in the heart of my child, and he will finish what he has begun.

Birth is painful. And there comes a time when the gospel needs to “re-birthed” in our kids’ hearts. They have been taught the truth early on, but at some point the truth needs to show itself big enough to grow along with them. Big enough for bigger hearts, bigger problems, bigger struggles. And here’s the good news: the truth of gospel is plenty big enough for us all, no matter what we’re facing. We just need to remind ourselves of that. And remind our kids.

So read the stories and sing the songs to your little ones, but don’t forget that one day they will grow up. And so will their problems. But don’t worry. God can handle the shadows. Walk with your kids, struggle with them, and pray for them, trusting God to work. And in the meantime, you might want to get out of the way.

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Lindsay Powell Fooshee is married to John, a pastor at Redeemer Community Church and church planter with Acts 29. They are raising 3 great kids in East Tennessee. Lindsay holds an M.A. in Christian Thought from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and blogs regularly at Kitchen Stool.

Bringing the Multiplication Mindset Home

Long days are draining. You need rest, but you’re not actually expecting it. You’re preparing yourself for children’s excited voices greeting you. You’re ramping up to mediate disputes between them, hopefully about who gets to hug you first. You also might greet a relieved spouse, fatigued from a long day of either being with the children or being at a long day of work. You’d think the daily re-assimilation into home would be seamless. But it isn’t, is it? Sometimes we are not spiritually or mentally prepared for it. Sometimes we are exhausted and our guard is down against pride and selfishness, resulting in ruinous family patterns.

Knowing this, practicing a routine that prepares the heart, soul, and mind for re-assimilation into family life is essential. It is an intentional discipline not just for your spiritual formation, but also for your wife’s and your children’s. It’s a small step taken as you lead and disciple them. In turn, you and they will duplicate the mindset in all other discipleship environments: school, work, extra-curricular environments, and third places. When we approach every place with this mindset, we are better prepared disciple multipliers.

Obviously, the mindset shift into a new environment is not always successfully executed. This is the case particularly for fathers or mothers re-entering home environments after a long day of work. That’s why I picked this one to discuss. It’s easy to re-engage home with work-brain. But when we shift to home-brain, much discipleship fruit is cultivated. And so is the model for your children to duplicate as they multiply disciples in other contexts (2 Tim. 2:2).

It takes only a few minutes each day to prepare our mindset. We can do this in our car before departing from work, or as we are driving home, or sitting in the driveway. It’s a really simple and classic process: shift your mindset, read Scripture, and pray.

1. Shift Your Mindset

Shifting our mindset is not some rote process. It is an intentional plan of engagement where we earnestly decide that what is ahead is more important than what is left behind. Thus, we plan to lay aside our pocket screens, ignore notifications, and push back any residual work until after little ones are tucked in bed. This is also when we place work cares upon Christ; anger, fear, anxiety are relinquished in him (1 Pet. 5:7).

We prepare our minds for inquiry. We want to be quizzical of how the day went: the joys, trials, conflicts, surprises—all that took place during our absence. And quite honestly, a stay-at-home spouse will crave adult conversation, so we must be prepared to listen.

We also want to enter with the posture of service. Typically, I am in the practice of swooping into the home and whisking all three children away for a walk or playtime at the community playground while my wife, who is the one staying at home in our case, gets 15-30 minutes of quiet solitude.

Most working dads—if they are honest—have a Ward Cleaver or George Banks expectation for home arrival: immaculate home, hot dinner, spotless and perfectly behaved tykes, and wife in a dress and pearls. My mindset is a little different. I’m hoping for no fire, flood, or other acts of God to have occurred. But most of the time, I’m certain a tornado hit our kid’s room.

However, we should have realistic expectations rather than idealistic expectations. God, fully anticipating our fallen condition, has been long in suffering with all our short failings. We, likewise, should follow in his step, not expecting a picture of Eden when we arrive home.

2. Read Scripture

Thomas Watson said, “The Scripture is the compass by which the rudder of our will is to be steered.” My will is prone to drift off a God-glorifying course due to the desires of my flesh. Scripture is what holds the course of the mindset.

It’s not enough to think on Scripture; we must share Scripture, too. We should be primary feeders of Scripture to our children. What if we had a Scripture to share with our children every time we returned home from work? How glorious would that be for our family? Not only would our will be set on the right course, but it sets a pattern for our children to be set on the right course with the right instrument to aid them: Scripture. When our mindset is built off Scripture, then it will be that much easier to mold our children’s minds towards the same end. In many ways, this will be effectively caught more than taught, as long as we are contagiously and earnestly conversant with our children about what the Lord is teaching us.

In Taking God at His Word, Kevin DeYoung says, “The word of God is more than enough for the people of God to live their lives to the glory of God” (55). He’s not just talking about Scripture’s sufficiency to tackle the tough question of apologetics, theology, and our wrestling with doubt. DeYoung is saying Scripture is sufficient for everyday people to live everyday lives to the glory of an extraordinary God. Scripture dishes up helpings of truths that sufficiently ground us in the fruit of the Spirit and armor us to wage war against our enemy.

Thus, we’re prepared to enter the foray of a potentially chaotic household. God’s Word serves as a sufficient implement of peace in our hearts and homes. That peace is the peace of Christ. For Ephesians 2:17 says, “And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.” That peace will then be spread afar by those whom we are training in our household to bear that peace to others. They will see us bring it, and they will long to share it with others.

3. Pray

You will regret watching too much TV, playing too much Candy Crush, and reading too many tweets. You will never regret praying too much. You can’t pray enough. Prayer is this incomprehensibly extraordinary gift where we have direct and full access to the God of the cosmos. He instructs us to ask for wisdom (Jas. 1:5) and to petition him with our requests (Phil. 4:6). Yet, we treat prayer like someone who picks a particular mobile carrier with unlimited talk minutes with a particular person, but who never actually called that person. That’s precisely what we have—full access; and that’s precisely what we do—full neglect.

Prayer doesn’t produce a desired outcome as much as it transforms our current outlook. When we earnestly pray for our family before arriving home, it reorients our family around God rather than our children or ourselves. Helplessly bringing every concern, fear, or potential conflict to the Lord sets us up for entire dependence upon him for resolution. So often we rack our brains on how we can provide solutions and fix problems. Perhaps those tensions or problems exist not to give us something to troubleshoot, but to direct us to shoot the message of our troubles up to heaven. They become a grappling hook that draws us up to God.

If we’re always praying about how we want things to change in our family, then it might just be us that require change. If nothing else, we need to open our eyes to the gift our spouse and children already are. They are a gift to steward, so we should ask God to show us how to steward, lead, and equip this gift as we prepare to commission them for gospel ministry.

So we shouldn’t just deliver requests to God, we should express thanks and praise to him for our family as well. Before you head home is a great time to do this. It will—just like reading Scripture—facilitate that right mindset you wish to have when you return home each day.

I know what Scripture says about praying in our closet, but there is something valuable about praising God’s answer to prayers before our spouse and children. If they never know that we’ve been praying for them, they will never have appreciation for God’s answered prayer. They will also not share the same value and import prayer into their mission contexts. So don’t just secretly pray for your family, openly discuss what you pray. Not only this, but solicit their prayer needs. That way, you can pray specifically for them as you are about to re-engage in your family context.

Multiplication in Mind

Our society is programmed to pull families further and further apart over time. This is not healthy; it is actually potentially harmful. The more families are apart, the more false doctrine and false teachers may slyly slink into the family and corrupt convictions. This could slay souls.

Those few hours that exist after work and before bedtime are critical. They are the hours that we have to build into our family the stronghold of a Christian worldview. We’re not just constructing a stronghold; we are training emissaries of our King. Our family will be sent out to herald good news to others. This means they must have first heard it from us, seen it demonstrated by us, tasted the fruit of it, and felt a stirring to multiply the process. Ones who have tasted the nectar of the gospel will naturally share it on to others.

—

Joey Cochran served as an Associate Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma for four years before transitioning to be the Church Planting Intern at Redeemer Fellowship in St. Charles, Illinois under the supervision of Pastor Joe Thorn. Joey is a graduate of Dallas Seminary. Joey blogs at jtcochran.com and you can follow him on Twitter at @joeycochran.

Does God Care About Productivity?

Does God Want Us to Manage Ourselves Well?

I would argue that the call to be productive (Genesis 1:28) also implies the need to learn how to be productive. Yet, this is a slightly different question from the first, because one could presumably say “Yes, God wants us to be productive, but he doesn’t want us to fiddle with things like workflow systems and productivity tips and tools.”

The Importance of Intentionality

But what we see in the Scriptures is that productivity doesn’t come apart from our deliberate intentionality. We are called to be intentional in the way we live our lives. Note again, for example, Ephesians 5:15-17, the core New Testament passage on productivity:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [Emphasis added.]

We are not to breeze blindly through life, taking whatever comes. We are to “look carefully” how we walk. You don’t just walk through a store with your eyes closed, buying whatever you touch, and expect it to turn into a wardrobe. And neither should you do that with your life. Likewise, we are to “make the most” of the time. The time doesn’t make the most of itself; we are to take deliberate action to take back the time from poor uses and turn it to good uses.

Further, a concern for good use of our time is an important characteristic of the Christian that the Bible expects us to have. Consider Psalm 90:12: “Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” I like how the New American Standard Bible puts this: “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to you a heart of wisdom.” In other words, even our growth in wisdom and our ability to manage ourselves is something we do for God, and to present to him.

We saw in the previous chapter that a concern for time management should actually lead us right up to God. What we see here is that love for God should also lead us to be concerned with time management. As Peter O’Brien has said, “those who are wise will have a right attitude toward time.”

An Affirmation of Personal Effectiveness

The Scriptures, interestingly, get even more concrete on the issue of personal effectiveness. Notice how in Ephesians 5:15 Paul placed walking as “wise” people in parallel with “making the most of the time.” We are to walk “not as unwise but as wise, making the most of the time.”

Paul isn’t simply saying here that the wise make the most of their time (though he certainly is saying that). He is actually connecting his exhortation to the central OT theme of wisdom.

As most commentators point out, Paul is referring us here to the wisdom literature of the Old Testament as central to aiding us in discerning the Lord’s will for our actions and making the most of our time: “Paul commends to the believers the vast Old Testament teaching about wisdom, especially as represented by the books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. There they can find ethical insight into God’s will.”

In addition to pointing us to the wisdom literature generally, his exhortation here connects up with several specific passages. One of those passages is Proverbs 6:6-8, where we are also told to “be wise”:

Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.

In other words, Paul’s command that we walk “as wise” people hooks up with Proverbs 6:6, where we see that managing yourself well—like the ant—is an essential component of wisdom.

What we see here is that in commanding us to walk as wise people, Paul is not simply commanding us to be wise in spiritual things (though that is there; cf. Proverbs 11:30). He is also calling us to be wise in relation to how to live in this world—and, specifically, to be wise in how to lead and manage ourselves, just like the ant.

Knowing how to get the right things done—how to be personally effective, leading and managing ourselves well—is indeed biblical, spiritual, and honoring to the Lord. It is not unspiritual to think about the concrete details of how to get things done; rather, this is a significant component of true Christian wisdom.

Productivity and Discipleship

What we see here is that there is no distinction between learning how to be productive and learning how to live the Christian life altogether, for both are about how we are to live in this world for the glory of God.

The way we go about doing our email, handling appointments, running meetings, attending class, running the kids to where they need to go are not something distinct from the everyday life of sanctification that God calls us to, but are themselves a fundamental part of it. We are to “be wise” in them just as we are to be wise in the things like directly pertain to salvation; and, indeed, the way we go about them is an expression of our Christ-likeness and sanctification.

Thinking Christianly About Productivity

It makes sense for there to be a Christian perspective on prayer. But on getting things done? How can that even be?

The brief answer is that, as Christians, our faith changes our motives and foundations, but not necessarily the methods we use.

For example, a Christian doctor and non-Christian doctor will likely go about heart surgery in the same way, using the best practices of the field and their training. Both will also seek the good of the patient, rather their own ends. But the Christian has an additional motive— loving God and seeking to serve him. This is a difference that is fundamental, but which can’t necessarily be seen.

That’s not always the only difference—sometimes there are variations in our methods (for example, the Christian doctor will likely pray before the surgery)—but it is the main difference.

The other change our faith makes is that it puts our work on a different foundation. We look to God for power to do all we do, including our work, and act not out of a desire to gain his acceptance but because we already have it in Christ.

With the specific issue of productivity, then, we will likely utilize the same best practices as non-Christians in things like processing workflow and getting our email inboxes to zero. But when it comes to the motive and foundation of our productivity, the gospel brings in some radical transformations.

—

Matt Perman formerly served as the senior director of strategy at Desiring God Ministries in Minneapolis, MN, and is a frequent speaker on the topics of leadership and productivity from a God-centered perspective. He has an MDiv from Southern Theological Seminary and a Project Management Professional certification from the Project Management Institute. Matt regularly blogs at What’s Best Next and contributes to a number of other online publications as well. He lives in Minneapolis. Follow him on Twitter @mattperman.

(Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done by Matt Perman available on Zondervan. It appears here with the permission of the author and publisher.)

Serving Families in Christ

The women in my family are amazing--especially my mother. She’s one of the most sacrificial women I know. I know everyone says this about their mom. But seriously, my mom is sacrificial and amazing and giving when even I tell her, “Mom…stop," she’ll respond with, “You’ll understand when you have kids!” Well, because of her example and the other women in my family, serving each other is second nature. Nobody groans about watching kids. In fact, grandmothers and mothers beg to watch the kids. Tias will offer without blinking an eye. We serve in many other ways, borrowing money, moving without complaining. This is absolutely a culture thing, and it’s one of my favorite parts of my Hispanic culture. I take great pride in being born into a family where you can say “I’m moving to an apartment on the 3rd floor” and even if everyone lives an hour and a half away, they respond with, “Let us know what day, we’ll make sure you get moved.”

One of the biggest things I learned early on, and a huge reason I fell in love with the Lord, was a draw about having this new family in Christ. Just because I fell in love with Jesus I suddenly had all these new brothers and sisters. I had a new family, how cool is that?

Even though I was coming to church in Austin for a few years before actually moving here, the actual move really was a huge culture shock to me. To be perfectly honest, it’s had it’s toll. When I was living in North Carolina, I was not concerned about this issue because everyone in my church was my age and no one had kids. It was a non-issue. Moving to Austin, and seeing churches go years with having to “deal” with never being able to find childcare is so incredibly heart-breaking to me. It literally fumes me that it’s a problem. I pray for grace with this, too, but it is hard.

People with Children

Just because you have kids, this doesn’t give you an “out” to watching your family’s kids. Here are some things you can do to start fixing this insane issue:

1. Be Persistent. A lot of times, I hear, “Well, I asked so-and-so and they just always seem busy so I didn’t want to ask again.” Stop making assumptions!  Keep asking your small group. This is what they are here for--to be family. Family’s carry each other burdens, serve and love each other when needed, and come alongside each other when needed.

2. Start a Babysitting Club. You and three to four other people can swap date nights and “sleepover” parties for the kids. This will not only encourage date nights, but will also strengthen your little community (family). This time also provides essential opportunities to disciple children by sharing Scripture stories, praying with them, and sharing the gospel with them.

3. Communicate. If you are struggling, confess your feelings to your small group and/or especially your discipleship group. This is a real problem. Ask for prayer. Let those tears shed. People need to see this is a huge problem.

4. Do Something. Another line I hear all the time: “I wish I would have babysat more when I was single.” Again, just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t “trade” with your married friends and serve in this way. If your child is in childcare at church, you need to serve in that area. With everyone serving, it allows everyone to enjoy the services and prevents potential “burnout.”

It’s frustrating to hear a bunch of people talk about how big of a problem this is, but no one does anything about it. Everyone is just waiting for everyone else to step up.  Encourage everyone to join you in “stepping up.”

Babysitters aren’t trained in some special course. There aren’t qualifications for serving your family. If we are to be considered “the body of Christ,” what can we assume will happen if parts of it are failing? Right now, childcare is failing and the body’s health is at risk. What does Scripture say about a part of the body rejoicing? 1 Corinthians 12:26 says the rest of the body will rejoice with it. Is the body rejoicing in the childcare realm, or is it suffering? If it’s suffering, what are we to do?

People without Children

1. This Busy Life Doesn’t Belong to You. It’s 2014, and hearing the words, “I’m too busy” is so common and a large reason why this part of the Church is suffering. The idea of getting to church an hour earlier, or giving up a few hours to serve a family sounds like an eternity. Let’s again think about what we know about God. Christ is the definition of sacrifice. The idea of living a life where everything he does is for himself is impossible. If we are to be like Christ and if we are to look different from the world, then this is such an incredible opportunity to be that.

Our life is not ours. It just isn’t. This life belongs to God. We start believing that living a life where we sacrifice literally everything is a terrible thing, and it’s because we don’t believe it’s gratifying or good. The word “sacrifice” doesn’t even seem very nice. But God proved that sacrifice is the most incredible thing. And when we can sit down and examine how much of our time we don’t actually sacrifice, we realize we aren’t that busy. We just worship our busy lives.

Tim Keller said recently we “have an ‘it’s us or them’” attitude when it comes to singles and families. Part of serving families is learning to sacrifice now. Learning to serve now. It’s a rehearsal for the sacrifice many singles and people without children will make when they do have children. You’re sort of “launched” into sacrificing when/if those children enter the picture. Also, if you’re married, don’t forget to invite these people serving you to birthday parties--give them the opportunity to say no. That’s what family does.

2. You don’t need to be “called” to childcare. God did not put it on my heart to serve children. I didn’t get this push from God to serve kids. This is simply ingrained in me because my family was an amazing example and groomed me to believe that if you’re family. . . you bend over backwards to help. Over-spiritualizing something when there is an immediate need in the church is so dangerous. If your church family suddenly all went broke except for you, wouldn’t you bring them food and necessities? It’s an immediate need, and you have the resources, so it’s common sense.

Seeing an immediate need and ignoring it because “you just don’t want to” should be examined. If your thoughts are, “those kids are too hyper for me” or “I won’t be good at it” then you should either talk to the parents about it, or examine whether or not this can change. Immediate needs need to be met immediately. As I said before–we are the body. You don’t get called to save a drowning member. You jump in and you help them.

3. Kids are insane. You are capable of getting over it for a few hours. As disobedient, crazy, hyper, annoying, or selfish they can be–Jesus still says, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3). We can go on about why he said that, but he constantly shows us how much he loves children (Mk. 10:13-16). If you don’t have your own, this is more reason you can give up a few hours to bless a family. Because as crazy as they are–it’s an opportunity to pray for the child and the family. And an opportunity to praise God for the life he gave you.

4. Stop your judgement. It saddens me when someone won’t watch someone’s kids because they don’t agree with the parenting style. I personally wouldn’t give my child cow’s milk and I would let them experience McDonalds, but I certainly will never use that as an excuse not to serve a family if the parent raises their child in a way I think I wouldn’t raise my kid. Every time I’d cry to my mom and dad about how it wasn’t fair they wouldn’t let me do something and they’d respond with, “You’ll understand when you’re our age.” I say the same to you. You’ll understand when you have kids.

Jesus Sacrifices and Serves

We have to remind ourselves that the one human to ever walk the earth that had a legit reason to not serve was Jesus. He was God. It's impossible to think about, but he served even when he had the greatest excuses. Paul says, “Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant” (Phil. 2:6-7). Serving is good. Jesus washed some guys feet (feet were probably more gross back then...yuck, you guys) and good things came from that (John 13:1-20). Imagine the good that comes from serving your family by giving them a night to focus on other good stuff--like their marriage.

I’m praying for a future where families aren’t “tied down” because they don’t want to move away from parents and grandparents for fear of never having childcare.

I’m praying for a future when you only have to serve the kids area at church on Sundays like twice a year because all of the parents of the kids in childcare serve, and everyone else is willing.

I’m praying for a future when Christians stop using the words “brothers and sisters” loosely and start realizing that’s what we actually are in Christ. I will continue to pray that the Church can realize that “babysitting” and “childcare” is more than just watching kids. There’s a lot of incredible opportunities to disciple there.

We pray that God would make disciples of us, and this is such a great chance to do just that. By doing this for each other--all of us--we open doors to get into each others lives. We aren’t just serving--we are doing life together. We don’t have to look at each other like babysitters. Like volunteers. We are given freedom in Christ to look at each other like brothers and sisters. And if that’s true--then there are a whole lot of nieces and nephews we are free to love.

—

Jessica Souza is currently the CFO of Shop With Care,  manages Social Media for Texas Style Council, and is directing a movie. To find out what else she's up to, follow her on Twitter: @SpookyJess.

Praying Desperately for Grace

My mother-in-law is a one of a kind pray-er. The type of Godly woman who prays as if God’s head is tilted in her direction ever so yet somehow, just barely, not touching hers. My wife has on occasion admitted to fear when she’s heard the words “I’ll be praying for you” from her mother. I make my apologies in advance. For in all kindness I cannot think of my mother- in-law without hearing the words of Christ echo in my head,

“And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” Luke 18:3-5 (ESV)

Often times the purpose of this parable gets lost because of God’s comparison to an unrighteous judge (18:6-7) or the rhetorical question with which Jesus concludes (18:8). But the purpose of this parable is that Christ’s disciples “ought always to pray and not lose heart” (18:1). As we walk through Luke 18 it should become plain that I take the view that this teaching on prayer permeates the whole of Christ’s teaching in this chapter. Christian prayer is thus utterly essential to Christian discipleship from a multitude of angles.

But what can we learn directly from the first of Christ’s parables? It might be easy to just say, “Pray always.” But it is instructional and encouraging to look at the conditions of the widow in the parable. For starters, she is a widow. She has no husband. And it is evident by her direct interaction with the “judge” (18:2) that she had no son or male representative in her family to rely on for protection. She was down cast and without a redeemer. She was the epitome of the down trodden in this life.

Second, she had an adversary (18:3). Life was already not easy on this widow. She was without a redeemer, but she had enemies. She was without a defense attorney before the judge, but she had an accuser (the word in Greek literally means an opponent in court). She was down trodden with an enemy pushing her deeper down.

Third, the widow’s judge was “unrighteous” (18:6). The downtrodden widow hounded by her enemy must make petitions to a judge with little chance of justice. And yet she does. Repeatedly. And she is the person Jesus Christ uses to model Christian prayer. For even the unrighteous judge can be beat down with constant petitioning.

Desperation for Grace and Deliverance

But Christians have a Righteous Judge (18:7). Isn’t this all the more reason for us to “cry out” throughout the day and night? Luke 18 begins with Christ teaching us that his disciples must practice the trepidation and begging of a widow in distress for there is humility, not pride, in Christian prayer. There is desperation, not pretension. But also ultimately for Christians there is grace and deliverance.

The beauty of Christian pray in discipleship is that everyone, all the times, can practice it. For we are always in need of grace and deliverance. We are always called to prayer. Whether for ourselves or for others downtrodden in this life, the disciplined life in Christ is portrayed as one that batters down the doors of heaven with prayer.

Earlier this year my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. From all outward appearances, she is now a part of the downtrodden in this life. The world would have her join together with others downtrodden as she is. Together they could encourage each other to “pull through.” But her reputation is one of prayer. And her testimony is that she has grown closer to her Savior.

We are all in distress like the widow of Christ’s parable. Some of us are just more aware. Christian discipleship is about crafting a prayer life that matches the true level of our despair. That’s what being a mature disciple of Christ looks like.

—

Joshua Torrey is a New Mexico boy in an Austin, TX world. He is husband to Alaina and father to Kenzie & Judah and spends his free time studying for the edification of his household. These studies include the intricacies of hockey, football, curling, beer, and theology. You can follow him @AustinPreterism and read his theological musings and running commentary of the Scriptures at The Torrey Gazette.

Pursuing Not-Yet-Believers

It Sent Shock Waves Throughout the Campus

As you might imagine, seminaries are full of Jesus-y people, from suit-clad conservatives to library-dwelling linguists to edgy liberals who buck the system by (hold your breath) wearing flip flops to class. Our grad school was filled with religion majors, pastors and interns, and private school teachers. Everyone was religious; most were active in some form of church; many spent spring breaks and summers in overseas missions or student ministry camps. So imagine the bombshell when a student realized he’d never actually known Jesus. Students and professors alike were stunned, then celebratory. In this instance, the student was a son of a prominent pastor, a rising star in the student ministry world, and someone who knew—and could teach—the Bible better than most of his peers. Apparently it happens more than you might expect: God redeems people who are already in seminary. And praise Him that He does!

The shock is understandable: we can easily assume that because someone is part of a Christian school, group, and church, they must be redeemed. But as today’s verses point out, their religion may be misleading. Whether you attend a seminary or Christian school, are involved with a Christian organization, or are simply part of a local church family, you regularly find yourself in some of the most forgotten places everyday mission happens: within “Christian” circles. Today we consider two elements of mission inside the Church: seeing it as an everyday mission field and getting other Christians to join you in everyday mission.

Fruit and Foundation: Marks of Faith

Today is not a license to look under every rock for false prophets and fake Christians. Only God can know the condition of souls for sure, so we approach today with great humility and much prayer. But it should spark an awareness: how many in our own circles look and act redeemed, but are deceived, even intentionally? As we pursue everyday mission in Christian circles, today’s verses offer two concurrent marks of redemption: fruit in our lives, then the foundation of our hearts.

When rightly rooted, our lives flourish with good fruit. In Luke 3, John the Baptist rebukes many who come to be baptized for a poor view of salvation. To put it in a common term today, John calls those who view Jesus as mere “fire insurance”—whose so-called salvation makes no impact on daily life—“a brood of vipers.” His charge is that those who are truly redeemed will bear fruit. The following verses are examples of this fruit: those who were selfish become generous; those who stole become honest (and in Zacchaeus’ case in Luke 19, display the gospel by reconciling brokenness they caused); those who trusted their own ability turn to God for provision. Galatians 5 explains the difference between fruit of the flesh and fruit of the Spirit. Romans 5—7 give marks of the “old man” versus the “new man.” Seen throughout the Bible, redemption leads to fruit.

On the other end of the spectrum, good works—which look like spiritual fruit—can stem from misguided motives. An early song from musical duo Shane and Shane encapsulate well the mystery of not-yet-believers existing in Christian groups: “Your child is busy with the work of God and taking him for granted / Got a lot to do today; kingdom work’s the game I play / Lord my serving You replaced me knowing You.” Religious acts, having the right answers, doing the proper things, and even looking repentant or wise can give the impression that we must be children of God. Those Jesus speaks of in Matthew 7 preached, did great works, and even performed miracles “in your name.” Yet He still never knew them. Anything but Jesus is a failing foundation of faith. Winds of truth expose our misplaced footholds, and “great [is] the fall” of even our greatest attempts. Good fruit is only good if its roots are in the right foundation.

Pursuing Not-Yet-Believers in Our Churches

Due to theological misinformation or indignant misunderstanding of salvation, mission in our churches can be tricky. Claiming that someone might not be a Christian is a bold claim, and can cause ripples. But if people in our churches and Christian circles lack fruit, we have to lovingly pursue them: it’s our responsibility as brothers and sisters who love them more than their opinion of us. Even if they are believers, they need discipleship in areas where disbelief or idols pull them from obeying God. If they are not redeemed, they need loving relationships and intentional discipleship even more. Either way, the gospel needs to redeem at least some area of their life.

Do they exhibit patterns of sinful or unwise behavior? Do they put other authorities over the authority of God? Do they seem unrepentant or uncaring toward their sin? Do they lack the desire to grow in spiritual concepts and practices? Matthew outlines a process to address such questions35. While this passage is often misunderstood, “discipline” has the same root as “disciple”: the goal of loving confrontation, humble rebuke, and gentle questions is stated throughout this passage: that the brokenness in “your brother” would be restored, to God and community. And while the final step of this process is often interpreted, “cut them out of your life,” we see in Jesus’ a far different view of “Gentile[s] and tax collector[s]” (v. 17). He didn’t throw them away; He pursued them, loved them, demonstrated the gospel to them, and sought their redemption. In other words, He encourages us to act the same toward sinners in our churches, as sinners outside our churches. . . .

As much as we acknowledge her beautiful brokenness, we believe in local churches, and their biblical leadership, place in God’s mission, and unity amongst their members. Churches are full of sinners who need to be redeemed, and sinning saints who already have been. Just like you and us. We cannot plead this point enough: let us be wise, humble, and prayerful, both as we pursue God’s mission toward those in our churches, and as we pursue mission together alongside others in them.

—

Ben Connelly, his wife Jess, and their daughters Charlotte and Maggie live in Fort Worth, TX. He started and now co-pastors The City Church, part of the Acts29 network and Soma family of churches. Ben is also co-author of A Field Guide for Everyday Mission (Moody Publishers, 2014). With degrees from Baylor University and Dallas Theological Seminary, Ben teaches public speaking at TCU, writes for various publications, trains folks across the country, and blogs in spurts at benconnelly.net. Twitter: @connellyben.

(Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from A Field Guide for Everyday Mission by Ben Connelly & Bob Roberts Jr. available from Moody Publishers starting June 2014. It appears here with the permission of the author and publisher. For free resources and preorders, visit everydaymission.net.)

4 Ways to Love Those with Mental Illnesses

I am one of the many millions of people who suffer from a mental illness. About five years ago, I started having panic attacks. My first one took place when I was out on a date (of  course)! Since then, I have struggled on and off with depression, irrational phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. No doubt these struggles have been the toughest I have faced thus far in my life. I am the Director of Discipleship at my church in Georgia, and over these past few years I have come to the belief that there is a better way to disciple those who are suffering from a mental illness. I am by no means a mental health expert, but I am going to discuss a few ways in which the church can best love those with mental illnesses.

1. Offer Compassionate Community

People who struggle with mental illness often feel isolated and alone. They do not think anyone who is an “outsider” (someone who doesn’t struggle with a mental illness) will ever be able to comprehend what they are going through. This is why a compassionate community is something extremely important for the church to offer. Those who struggle with any type of mental illness do not want to be treated special or different, but rather they simply want to be a part of the body.

Of course, there are going to be plenty of times when compassion explicitly needs to be presented to those who are suffering from a psychological ailment. The church and its leaders should be willing to go out of its way to provide this care. Many times those who are suffering cannot even put into words what they are going through and so compassionate involvement and care from the church must be present.

2. Present The Gospel Constantly

Those who are struggling through the darkness of mental illness need to be presented with the light of the gospel on a regular basis. There are plenty of times that those suffering with mental ailments just need to continuously and definitively hear the good news that Jesus Christ is sufficient enough and has promised to never leave them nor forsake them. Today, even doctors understand the importance that spirituality plays in healing a psychological illness. For Christians, a combination of medicine and gospel-mediation can help those who are suffering from a mental illness. Full relief might not come, but there is no doubt hearing the gospel on a regular basis is important to a Christian’s health. The good news that Jesus Christ has done everything for our salvation must be presented constantly.

3. Preach Hope Relentlessly

Jesus Christ is our hope (1 Tim 1:1). He is the only one who has promised to be with you to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20). There is no doubt that this message is what must be preached because of how easy it is for the mentally ill to struggle with losing hope. In a world that seems so pitch-black a lot of the time, the church must always remember to present the hopeful light of Jesus. This is a hope that will not relent even when the walls seem to be closing in. It is always important to remind those who are suffering from different kinds of mental illness that one day in the new heavens and new earth all suffering will be gone (Rev. 21:1-4). There will be no more mental illness. Counselors, pastors, and church leaders must share a relentless hope in Jesus Christ. He’s our anchor in this dark world.

4. Understand That You Probably Don’t Understand

Everyone who struggles with a mental illness comes from a different background and has different symptoms they struggle with. One of the most difficult things I have dealt with regarding my mental illness has been effectively communicating to others what exactly I am going through. What has been even more difficult though has been some of the responses and advice people have offered up to me regarding my mental illness.

The naive response of “Just get over it” surprisingly has been  proposed to me numerous times through my struggles. Now, of course, I have taken that advice with a grain of salt. The church must learn that everyone’s struggle is different and that no two situations are exactly alike. There is no doubt that the body of Christ needs to continue to educate itself on the symptoms and struggles of mental illness. However, simple education should not make one feel like they have become a mental health expert. Mental health issues are real and a struggle for many and there is no doubt that sympathy and care triumphs over input and words of wisdom.

This may mean just being present with a friend while they struggle. Even if you do not have the answer, just listening can be encouraging and goes a long way. Being present can sometimes provide more comfort, than our words could ever provide.

A Few Final Thoughts

My mental illness has made me feel secluded and crazy a lot of the time. I started taking medication for my anxiety a little over two years ago and have taken it ever since. There definitely have been seasons of my life that have been better than others, but there is no doubt I consider anxiety to be my thorn in the flesh (2 Cor. 12:7). I have seen counselors and have tried to seek console in the Word of God, but life has just been hard. I have had trouble being in a healthy relationship with a woman because of my anxiety and I have struggled preaching to my congregation because of panic attacks. Mental illness has won the battle plenty of times in my life.

It is time to face the fact that there are millions of people who struggle with mental illness and the church must rise up and disciple them. Jesus Christ is greater than any mental illness and even though anxiety wins many of battles, I always remember that Jesus Christ has already won the war. We will be raised up. We will have new creation bodies. We will not suffer forever. He is the resurrection and life.

—

Matt Manry is the Director of Discipleship at Life Bible Church in Canton, Georgia. He is a student at Reformed Theological Seminary and Knox Theological Seminary. He also works on the editorial team for Credo Magazine and Gospel-Centered Discipleship. He blogs regularly at gospelglory.net.

8 Ways to Comfort the Suffering

I have officiated over forty funerals ranging from suicides to infants. I have buried the young and the old. I have sat in hospitals with the dying as well as in prisons with those who have taken life. For the last two years, I have walked with my Resplendent Bride as she has suffered through Lymphoma, Leukemia, and, as of twenty-two days ago, a bone marrow transplant. With one addled brained banality I hope to forever clinch my claim to the title of “Captain Obvious” by opening an article on how to disciple a member of the fellowship of the suffering with this astute observation: “People suffer differently.” So the process of discipling them through their pain will look different depending upon the person you are walking through the shadow lands with. People suffer differently. People are soothed differently. The goal of discipleship in the midst of suffering must be comfort in Christ, for the closer we walk with the Lord Jesus the more we see a small portion of the massive burden he always carries on our behalf.  Surely the Lord Jesus walks with us through the feasts and the famines (Ps. 23).

Here are some lessons I have learned since joining the fellowship of suffering.

1. Show up.

Saying the wrong thing is a moot point if you don’ t show up at all. Do you know what is worse than saying the wrong thing? People feeling like you have abandoned them in their darkest hour. The elders of the church I have the honor of shepherding all agree on this truth when it comes to visitation: It’s trepidation followed by relief.  For many visitation is trepidation followed by feeling silly because it wasn’t that bad at all. Solidarity with the suffering requires presence. Show up. Send a text. Dial a number. Mail a care package.

Partner—GCD—450x300

Show up even if you have to take a road trip to do so. As our society becomes more and more transient we find that people appear in our inner orbit for a minute only to show up in our outer orbit moments later. We hear of this or that tragedy, but they live way over there. If only there was something we could do. We feel sad about it for a few minutes and quickly move on to planning our up coming trip to the big gospel shindig where we’re going to fellowship with a bunch of brothers over how awesome it is to serve the one true living God. . .

We’ll go miles and miles for fun, while ignoring the shut in next door.  My Resplendent Bride moved from St. Louis to the small town near Omaha I pastor in. Her pastor from St. Louis has visited three times over the last two years. One time he stopped on the way to Sturgis. Another time he brought up my Resplendent Bride’s father (who has a long history with brain tumors and can no longer drive long distances) with a trunk load of Christmas presents from his church. That’s a pastor.

Riddle me this:

How far would you travel if you were invited to speak at a conference?

How far would you travel for the silent invite of a member of the fellowship of the suffering?

I don’t like the answer I see in my heart either.  Show up.

2. Bring Communion.

Bring the Bread. Bring the Cup. Bring them to the hospital room. Bring them to the empty, desolate house of mourning. Bring them to the hospice. Bring them to the nursing home. Bring them. Break bread with those who suffer.

Read Scriptures together and point them to Christ throughout (Lk. 24:27). Pray, confess sin, and partake together. Remember Christ as he commands us to remember him, for in doing so the sufferer will remember that Christ remembers them in the midst of their plight. If you belong to a tradition that has legislated only certain individuals handle the Lord’s Supper: gently remind certain individuals of their beautiful privilege.

3. Get Vaccinated.

If your doctor does not want you to get a flu shot because, say, you are pregnant, then by all means decline the flu shot. If, on the other well manicured hand, you are a man who fears needles or a sore arm I would humbly ask you to reconsider your position.

Many of those whom suffer are also immunocompromised. Many senior saints languishing in loneliness at the local nursing home have weakened immune systems. People undergoing chemo have weakened immune systems.

Don’t take your Typhoid Mary self to the hospital to go “love on people” if you haven’t gotten a flu shot. And whatever you do: don’t scoff at a suffering saint for following doctor’s orders.

4. Don’t Say Things You Don’t Really Mean.

Don’t say, “I’ll be praying for you” if you are not actually going to pray for a suffering saint. The phrase “I’ll be praying for you” exists to convey to a suffering saint that you are indeed remembering them before the God of all comfort. The phrase does not exist to make you look good. If you catch yourself typing “I’ll be praying for you” on social media consider praying before you type the infamous phrase.

In the same vein: refrain from saying, “If you ever need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, don’t hesitate to ask” to a person suffering if you are not willing to do absolutely anything. Suffering is not on a schedule. Sometimes it's a late night phone call, or a last minute meal. Sometimes a shoulder to cry on. If you offer anything, be ready and willing.

5. Talk About Things That Don’t Matter.

Sometimes what a person needs is to be reminded of the world of the living. The suffering saint is often consumed by their suffering. Talking about your child’s messy trip to Dairy Queen may be a most welcomed distraction. Talking about normal, everyday life can be balm to the soul for a member of the fellowship of the suffering. Talking about the mundane normalacy many take for granted can give hope to the suffering saint that they might enjoy such things again.

Make them laugh, unless they have stitches.

A word of caution: remember our overarching truth that people suffer differently. A suffering saint may well wonder, “Why is this person talking about their mush brained dog while I have the weight of the world weighing down on me? How rude.” Know the situation. Know when silence may be needed.

6. Talk About Things That Do Matter.

Did the Lord Jesus move to a pizzeria and not tell me? I do not jest. Did the Lord Jesus switch up the apocalypse and return as a barista? Because there is an entire school of thought out there that can be boiled down to: Get the suffering saint around good food. Cry all over them.

Suffering saints need you to lovingly bring their attention back to the promises of the Lord Jesus. He ordains this to be done with words. D.A. Carson rightly observes this of Job’s friends:

“In the custom of the day, they display their distress by crying loudly, tearing their robes, and sprinkling dust on their heads.  And then they do the wisest thing they could have done, certainly much wiser than all the speeches they will shortly deliver; for seven days and seven nights they keep silence, awed by the depths of Job’s misery.” (How Long, O Lord? p. 137)

Yes, Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” By all means weep with the heart broken, but while you weep speak words of solace through your sobs.

John 11:35 does read, “Jesus Wept.” Yet John 11:25 precedes it with “Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies.'” And, John 11:43 follows it with, “Lazarus come forth.”

Additionally, it is a worthy goal in the midst of all the weeping to not weep so much as to cause the one suffering to feel such pity for your distress that the roles of mourner and comforter need be reversed.

7. Yes to Romans 8:28, but No! to idle speculation.

Ah, yes, our mutual friend Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Is God causing all things to work together for good? Yes. God is absolutely working out all things for good.

Do you know how? No. But, why not speculate that the reason God gave the cancer patient cancer is to be a great witness to the medical staff?

Why is this poor form? Piled on top of a person already in immense physical pain from cancer is the eternal destiny of the entire medical staff: doctor, resident, nutritionist, care coordinator, mid level, nurse, tech, house keeper, house keeping survey collector, murse, trash man, sharps collector.

“No pressure, and, feel better!”

The connotation is, “God’s working it all out, but it’s all dependent on you maintaining a cheery disposition during the most painful days of your life.” God is working out all things according to his plan and he will as sure as he lives bring good out of evil situations. I for one can’t wait to look back from the vantage point of eternity and see how our God orchestrated it all. But until that day much theory is idle speculation.

It also matters who is quoting Romans 8 and why. The “all things” of Romans 8 are brutish bloody things. We do not breezily quote Romans 8 at a suffering soul as if to say, “Get over it; don’t worry be happy!”

When the saint who has been in a scrap or two quotes Romans 8 there is a look in their eyes when they get to the “all things” part. The haunted hunted kind of look. The look is recognizable to all the fellowship of the suffering.

Others seem to quote Romans 8 as if to skip over or negate the “all things,” because their version of Christianity is a painless glossy kind of Christianity. The same verse coming from two different people can cause either comfort or rolled eyes.

I asked my Resplendent Bride what should go in this article, and this was one of her main suggestions. She felt that there were some whom used the Bible to dismiss the validity of suffering because they were the type of Christians who didn’t like to think about it.

8. Don’t blame the suffering saint for their suffering.

Job’s friends famously blamed Job for his suffering. Job must have done something wrong, right? How does such a blessed man fall into such disrepair if he is not being punished by the divine? If Job’s friends were around today they’d be quoting James 5:16b, “the effective prayer of a righteous man accomplish much.” When a person is first diagnosed, folks come out of the woodwork quoting James 5, carrying little bottles of oil; ready to anoint and pray for anything that moves.

However, should the illness linger, the sin hounds all come a sniffing. You see, the prayers of a righteous man accomplishes much, “Are you not righteous?” they say. Little attention is given to the fact that in James 5 the party praying is not the afflicted, but the elders.

The Bible does talk about God judging his errant children in the flesh. Ananias and Sapphira were struck down by the Lord for their sin in Acts 5. The assembly at Corinth suffered from sickness and death because they partook of the Lord’s Supper in an unworthy fashion (1 Cor. 11:27-30).  Hebrews 12 talks about God the Father disciplining his children.

Yet in my visits to the hospital over the years I cannot with confidence say that this or that person was being judged for sin. I would caution the Christian to not rush to premature conclusions because to do so wrongly is the epitome of being judgmental.  Such a casual suggestion could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Rather, we are to always have the gospel message, “Repent for the Kingdom of God is near” on our lips.

—

Evan Welcher is senior pastor of First Christian Church in Glenwood, Iowa. Husband of the lovely Danielle. Evan graduated with a B.S. in Bible from Emmaus Bible College in 2005. His goal in ministry is to stir up love for Jesus Christ by the giving of great care and fidelity to the teaching of the Scriptures. He blogs at EvanWelcher.com. Follow him on Twitter: @EvanWelcher

[Editor’s note: Evan requested I share with the readers that Danielle, his resplendent bride, died and saw her Savior May 3, 2014]

The Wellspring of Love

One of the greatest sources of joy in my life is parenting my three young children. It is also one the greatest sources of chaos in my life as well. Yet, I find I can handle the messes, the sleepless nights, and even the 50,000 meals I’ll prepare for them, but what I can’t handle is the bickering. The constant picking. The small arguments over who had what first and who took apart whose Legos and why must brothers be so annoying. (I am seriously thinking about forgoing traditional baby gifts from now on. Instead I’m going to start giving something more eminently suited to parenting—a black and white striped jersey and a whistle.) In the midst of the chaos, I often find myself yelling at the top of my lungs, “Will you all just stop it?!?! Why can you just be KIND to each other?”

Legalistic Love

During one such meltdown, I had an epiphany. Here I was demanding that my children love like God loves without directing them to Him as the source of that love. And yet, the only way my children—those little image bearers themselves—will ever be able to love one another properly is as they encounter and bask in God’s love for them first. In a twisted irony, my call for them to love had morphed into legalism because I had presented it apart from the source of love.

Most of the time we associate legalism with strict adherence to a specific set of rules, but legalism is not simply choosing the letter of the law over the spirit. Legalism is any attempt to model God’s attributes apart from a relationship with Him. Legalism is trying is to be an image bearer without relying on the Image.

When we attempt to “love” apart from God, our love will only be as lasting as the current situation or our own ability to sustain it. This is why forced tolerance, political correctness, and the “just be kind” approach often feel so weak and at times, so artificial. These approaches are artificial because they are not rooted in imago dei relationship. It’s like we’re playing dress-up in our mother’s heels and pearls—clumping down the hallway, mimicking her behavior but never truly embodying it.

Christ Changes How We Love

In order to make us the fully faceted people we were meant to be, Christ must change what and how we love.  He must reshape and reorder our loves to their proper places. And to do that, He must first hold the central place in our affection.

Jesus taught that the greatest commandment is to love God supremely and that the second greatest is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Because God is supreme, we must desire Him and His approval above anything else; we must position Him as the source of our affections and acceptance; and when we do, as His image bearers, we will naturally reflect His perfect love. This is why the Scripture speaks of our new identity in terms of having a “new heart.” When Christ has first place, when we are consumed with His love, we will naturally love like He does.

And yet, unlike some believe, loving God supremely does not mean that we don’t love other things; instead it means that we love other things the way that God intends for them to be loved. This is why the second commandment follows on the heels of the first. You can only love our neighbor properly—you can only love him or her as God does—if you find your source and definition of love from God Himself. In this sense, loving your neighbor actually flows out of loving God and cannot happen in the fullness that God intends apart from Him.

But when we are transformed by intimate daily dependence on the Creator’s love, when He becomes the source, not simply the model, of the love we extend to each other, we will have vast reservoirs of love welling up inside us, overflowing for all. So the way that we come into full personhood, the way that we love as we were intended to love, is not simply to mimic God’s love, but to allow it to transform us from the inside out. And then, only then, will people know we are His disciples. They will know we belong to Him because our identity will be consumed by His; they will know we belong to Him because we will love like He loves.

—

Hannah Anderson lives in the hauntingly beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. She spends her days working beside her husband in rural ministry, caring for their three young children, and scratching out odd moments to write. In those in-between moments, she contributes to a variety of Christian publications and is the author of Made for More: An Invitation to Live in God's Image (Moody, 2014). You can connect with her at her blog Sometimes a Light and on Twitter @sometimesalight.

(Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt adapted from Made for More: An Invitation to Live in God's Image by Hannah Anderson available from Moody, 2014. It appears here with the permission of the author and publisher.)

I Am Noah's Wife

I had just spent the majority of the last 36 hours at a Christian women’s conference. The conference was well done with inspiring speakers, moving worship, beautiful ambiance, and, most importantly, the coffee was really good! I was glad I went. But once I returned home I couldn’t seem to get out of the car. I just sat there in my husband’s (not awesome) 1998 Infinity with no air conditioning. Although I was burning up in the Texas heat, I just couldn’t go inside. I was stuck in the seat with my seatbelt still wrapped around me. Over and over again I kept asking myself, “How do I describe to my husband what I’ve just experienced?”

He had sacrificed a lot that weekend to make it possible for me to attend the conference. I was certain he’d love hearing about the beautiful worship I heard. He’d love to hear the glowing reports of women being challenged to be what God made them to be. I know for a fact that news of the good coffee would be a welcomed report.

How in the world could I tell him the truth--that despite all the beautiful words I heard, despite all the perfectly arranged songs I sang, and despite all the perfectly brewed coffee I drank. . . I wasn’t satisfied. I was still bored. I was still wrestling with something very deep inside my heart. Although I couldn’t quite name it, I knew it wasn’t something I  was proud of.

Eventually I did manage to collect my pamphlets and gift bag and get out of the car. As I took a deep breath and walked in the door, there he was, my husband--smiling from ear to ear! I could see the excitement on his face, his excitement to hear of my excitement. Rats! Typically I might lie a little bit. Not a bad lie. . . just a little twisting to make myself look better. I really didn’t want to seem unrighteous or ungrateful, so I wish I could’ve come up with something wonderful to say. Instead, I chose to tell the truth as best as I understood it. I know now the Holy Spirit was working powerfully to give me these words, but at the moment, it was a little weird! Are you ready for it?

Here’s what I came up with: “I am Noah’s wife.”

Yep. Insert the creepiest looking emoticon you can think of right here.

I am Noah’s wife.

You may, like Jonathan, be wondering what in the world I meant. Truthfully, it’s something I’d been chewing on for a while, but right then and there I understood the reason for my boredom. Let’s me explain.

Years ago I participated in a bible study of the book of Genesis. Oh sure, it was an amazing study. I am sure I learned a boatload of amazing truths. Wanna know what I remember most? Genesis 7:6-10:

“Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters came upon the earth. And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives with him went into the ark to escape the waters of the flood. Of clean animals, and of animals that are not clean, and of birds, and of everything that creeps on the ground, two and two, male and female, went into the ark with Noah, as God had commanded Noah. And after seven days the waters of the flood came upon the earth.”

Let’s think about this together. Who is Noah? Duh.

Who else was on the boat? Noah, his wife, his sons, and their wives.

What were the sons’ names? Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Yep.

What was his wife’s name? Think. . . think. . . think. . . I got nothin’.

Noah’s wife was nameless.

Hey, writer of Genesis. . . are you kidding me right now? I can understand leaving out the daughters-in-law’s names, but the wife? You can remember names like Shem, Ham, and Japheth but not the wife’s name?

I’ve always been sad for her. I mean, maybe she wasn’t as awesome in the whole “righteousness” thing as her husband, but she must have done something right. Right? I mean, she was good enough for righteous Noah to fall in love with her. She raised their children in such a way that they got access to the boat. Something must have been noteworthy about her. Right?

Well, the author of Genesis decided to leave her nameless. She’s known forever as simply “Noah’s wife.” The unnamed wife of one of the most well known men in history.

Back to real time--and here’s where it gets uncomfortable to talk about. It’s the truth though. . . and since I’m being truthful. I sat there the whole weekend trying to engage my heart in worship, but all I could think about was how much I had in common with Noah’s wife. How utterly unknown I was. Over and again I thought about my different titles: “Owen and Ellie’s mom,” “Teacher helper,” or “That girl who sews things.” Oh, I can’t leave out the most popular one, “Pastor’s wife.”

It’s crazy, but no matter how well I know a woman, no matter how many hours we spend together, and no matter how many laughs or tears we share, she will always introduce me as her pastor’s wife. Occasionally the title of friend comes in at the end, but first and foremost I’m her pastor’s wife. The nameless companion of her pastor. Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

Well, the real heartbreak came on as I watched the women on stage. Please put your grace cardigans on because this is vulnerable y’all. It might not be pretty but it’s what I got. They were all friends, and were all exercising their unique gifts on stage--together. As each one was introduced with a glossy photograph, it was like a parade of comrades who gave themselves away to us so that we could know them too. This was not at all their intention, but as I watched I became increasingly and painfully aware that not only did I not know them nor they know me, but my gifts were lying dormant in the room as if they were nonexistent. All of a sudden I saw what I had been suppressing in my heart because I didn’t want to believe it:

I’m average.

I’m unnamed.

I’m unknown.

When I’m alone and have time to think (also known as either house cleaning or showering), I’m confident I’m a strong leader. I’m pretty certain I’m an able public speaker and teacher. I know hands down that I can throw a pretty good party. I mean come on. . . I’ve been a Christian for 25 years, so I’ve had time to accept my talents and figure out my spiritual gifts. They’re part of me, they’re who I am.

At the conference, I realized, however, that to most people I’m known differently. I’m known more generically.

Jonathan’s wife.

Pastor’s wife.

The woman in the back.

That girl.

Average.

Unnamed.

Unknown.

It’s one thing to fear being unknown, it’s altogether more painful to realize that you are unknown. It was devastating. In fact, my fingers are still a little shaky just typing about it. I don’t enjoy the truth of it, but it is the truth.

If I weren’t baptist, I’d make a bet that many of you reading this feel the same way.

WHAT'S AN AVERAGITE TO DO?

So, fellow averagites, what do we do now? Do we stay in our seats and either shake in fear or seethe in bitterness? Do we hurl insults and cheap commentary on those women who are known? Do we hide our gifts away as we decide that if no one’s gonna notice we’re just not going to perform? Oh Lord please no! I don’t want that. I don’t want that!

In the days that followed, I cried out to the Lord in a way that only a lonely soul can do. The privileged voice of helplessness was crying out to him asking him to make sense of my selfishness and sorrow. I was asking him to turn my mourning to dancing. To use my gifts and remove my desire to make a name for myself. I refused to live a life of jealousy, but I had no idea how to exercise it. And then I watched a video. I remembered the unnamed, and, soon, I called out for his name over my own. It’s exciting. If you are or have felt like me--average, unnamed, unknown--I hope you’ll read on.

I WATCHED A VIDEO

My husband recently co-wrote a book on the resurrection of Christ called Raised? to help engage doubters and skeptics. A movie was made about the spiritual journey of a dear couple Ben and Jessica Roberts. The story the Lord has written for them is truly amazing. I have personally watched them walk from darkness into light and have witnessed the corresponding life change that is gifted to those who know Jesus as their resurrected King. It’s been an amazing gift to observe this process in them and celebrate what the Lord has done. I know that this couple is just at the beginning of something amazing.

A week after the conference, I was watching part three of the movie. In this part, Jessica tells of her return to church. She chose our church  because “it met in a bar.” She goes on to share what I’ve heard about twenty times before, but this time I heard it with keen hearing, like it was the first time I’d ever heard something so amazing.

She said something like, “I sat with my son in the children’s worship. They were singing Father Abraham, which has no spiritual significance, but somehow I met Jesus. I knew then that I was loved, that I belonged, and that I could be cleansed.”

Averagites--that was ME leading children’s worship! Even though I swore I’d be the only pastor’s wife in the history of pastor’s wives to never ever lead the children’s ministry. . . that Sunday, I was in charge of leading the children’s ministry! I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember feeling stupid for choosing to sing that song, but it was the best my ineptitude could come up with so I went with it. I remember meeting Jessica. I remember her son’s uncertainty there. And I remember seeing her facial expression change from fear to comfort.

As I sat there watching the video, tears begin to fall uncontrollably as I began saying to myself, “That was you! That was you! That was you!” I became completely aware that the Lord had used me and my service to him to change this family’s life.

Jessica never said my name nor did she even hint at it. . . but I know it was me! I am so happy for the Roberts’ faith and influence so the realization that my unnamed status had a part in their faith is overwhelmingly wonderful! In all honesty, I’d love to have a million more of those stories where my unnamed, unknown, and even inept self is used to bring others from darkness into light. What a privilege!

That moment, the Lord taught me that being unnamed is not the same as being unknown. I felt the love of my Father pour over me in such a way as to bring purpose to my generic status. Like Hannah, I felt completely seen. I felt known. He knows me and is using me in mysterious ways! I am unnamed but I am not unknown. What a joyful distinction.

THE HOPE OF BEING UNNAMED

Come to think of it, the world is overflowing with powerful no-name Christians. We call them missionaries, Sunday school teachers, doctors, neighbors, parents, and friends. When I think of the people who have had the greatest impact on my life, I don’t think of the amazing conference speakers I’ve heard or the great authors I’ve read. Nope. I think of the family in Minneapolis who taught me how to open my door to strangers. I think of the couple in Boston who showed me that all of life is repentance and discipleship. I recall the gentle rebuke of a church planter’s wife who pointed to me to Christ and away from bitterness. I think of my aunt who lived well and died even better as she drew nearer and nearer to Christ. Each of these have made an indelible mark on my faith--yet to the world they will always be nameless. The nameless souls who teach other nameless souls to proclaim the name of Christ.

All of this unnamed searching led me to where else...the cross. (And this is where I hope I camp out for the rest of my life!) There we meet two of the most powerful unnamed characters in all of Christendom- the two thieves on either side of Jesus.

Two men. Two criminals. No names.

One chides Jesus, refusing to repent. He wants to save his own life, his own name so to speak. I’m certain he’d be happy to use Jesus’ power for his own name’s sake but he wants nothing of the Christ as Lord. Forever unnamed. Forever unknown.

The other, however, is altogether taken with Jesus. He places no demands on Jesus, and instead, he asks Jesus to be who Jesus says he is...the Forgiver. He loves Jesus just as He is. He accepts his calling as a thief on a cross. He asks for the glory of the Lord to shine on him and give Him grace. Forever unnamed. Instantly known.

Fellow Noah’s wives we can get a name for ourselves or we can get Jesus. One leads to death, the other to beautiful life. May we strive for the popularity of our King and not ourselves. May we be content to use our gifts in secret knowing that our God sees us. Let us delight in being unnamed yet fully known.

—

Robie Kaye Dodson lives in Austin, Tx with her husband Jonathan and their three young children. She’s a horrible cook and a worse housekeeper…but she loves Jesus who gives her worth and meaning in the majestic and mundane of life. When all else fails, she makes dresses! Read more of her craft at www.sosewsomething.com. Follow on Twitter: @RobieDodson

9 Ways to Battle the Darkness

I know from personal experience the difficulty of battling depression, condemnation, and anxiety. The fight can take many forms, ranging from legalism to thoughts of suicide. Whatever the case, it is all overwhelming. I love Jesus and he loves me. But I have struggled with fear, anxiety, condemnation, and even depression my whole Christian life. I actually struggled so much with these issues that I had to resign from my first pastorate. I wasn't eating, I couldn't get out of bed, I was having demonic nightmares, and I was thinking about suicide. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have learned a few things in going through these struggles about God's grace despite our failures to trust him.

Though each of us faces unique circumstances, here are a few lessons I have learned that I pray will help as you, too, battle depression, condemnation and anxiety.

1. Look to Jesus.

It’s tempting to believe that what you need is to find more answers or to “do better,” or to get yourself out of depression by sheer human effort. But what you need to do is rest in Jesus and his finished work. His job is to deliver you; your job is to rest in him. His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. He wants you to rest, allowing him to fight the battle for you, through you and with you. Don’t run to legalism. Run to the Savior who will deliver you when you can’t deliver yourself.

2. Worship.

Set aside time once a week to worship the Lord through music. Anxiety and depression focus your eyes on yourself, as the enemy wants you to focus on anything except Jesus. Worship focuses your eyes on Jesus. Don’t feel as though you have to “get your worship right.” If you don’t feel like singing or your thoughts feel very confused, then just listen to the music. Let God minister to you. You might even set up “worship nights” where you ask a few friends to come over and worship with you and pray for you.

3. Be around community.

The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Just as a lion wants a gazelle to step away from the herd to destroy it, so the enemy wants you away from people so he can destroy you. When you are facing anxiety, depression and condemnation, being by yourself is extremely difficult. Being alone too long can send you into “self-destruct mode,” and your thoughts can seem to “own you.” Being around people provides a source of community and helps you from keeping your thoughts on you.

4. Don’t answer the “broken record” questions in your head.

“Maybe I’m not really saved.” “Maybe God doesn’t love me.” “I need to clean up this area of my life before God will save me.” Anxiety and depression feed on a pattern of asking the same questions over and over, even if we’ve already answered them satisfactorily. It can feel like, as one man put it, “Vietnam is going on in my head.” Taking thoughts captive is not just a practice for issues like lust or anger. Taking thoughts captive sometimes means not answering the questions or condemning thoughts that pop into your head at all.

5. Talk to God more than you think about him.

God is a person who exists in reality outside of your mind. It is helpful to remember that he understands everything and, unlike you, is not stressed. He is absolutely confident in himself and his ability to save you. Rather than making God a puzzle to solve, remember he is a person. Talk to him. Don’t just think about him.

6. Realize that perfect faith is not required.

Don’t penalize yourself for lacking faith. The opposite of faith is not doubt; it is disobedience. Our faith has never been and will never be perfect this side of eternity. It is okay to have faith the size of a mustard seed and to cry out to Jesus, “I believe. Help my unbelief” (Mk 9:24).

7. Serve.

Service gets our eyes off of ourselves and onto others. Find a ministry that needs help in tangible ways and set aside time to serve. Think hard about the needs in your own home that you could focus on meeting. Are there household chores, child care tasks or maintenance projects you could take on for the sake of serving your family? Who in your neighborhood or community could use your help with a project or cause? Look for ways to shift self-focus through service to others.

8. Meditate on Scripture.

When you’re battling anxiety and depression, your tendency will be to read the Bible looking for everything that is condemning, ignoring the rest. Make a list of verses that point you toward hope and God’s love. Make a list of verses that celebrate grace. Make a conscious decision to approach Scripture through the lens of God’s love and grace rather than his judgment. Ask a trusted friend or mentor to help guide you toward reading that will edify.

9. Get counseling.

You need an outside perspective on what you’re going through. Whether it is at Recovery Groups or at a biblical counselor’s office (biblical counseling versus generic “Christian counseling”), it is helpful to get advice from godly pastors and counselors to help you navigate the path to wellness.

Battling depression, condemnation, and anxiety requires you to embrace a number of reversals: Resting instead of striving. Grace instead of works. Asking instead of doing. It also requires a tremendous amount of patience. God is determined not to allow you to remain in the shadowy valley of worried, anxious Christianity, desiring instead that you would rest in gracious, peaceful Christianity. I know firsthand that he is able to lift your shadows and restore your soul.

Take hope that he remains faithful when we are faithless, for he cannot deny himself (2 Tim. 2:13).

_

Zach Lee is Associate Home Groups Minister at The Village Church and is married to Katy.  Follow him on Twitter: @zacharytlee.

[© 2014 The Village Church, Flower Mound, Texas. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Adapted from “9 Ways to Battle Depression, Condemnation and Anxiety.”]

Same-Sex Attraction in the Church

There are a number of things churches can do to help Christians with SSA:

1. Make it easy to talk about

Pastors as well as church members need to know that homosexuality is not just a political issue but a personal one, and that there will likely be some within their own church family for whom it is a painful struggle. When the issue comes up in the life of the church, it needs to be recognised that this is an issue Christians wrestle with too, and that the church needs to be ready and equipped to walk alongside such brothers and sisters.

Many Christians still speak about homosexuality in hurtful and pejorative ways. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard Christians (even some in positions of church leadership) use phrases like: “That’s so gay” to describe something they don’t like. Such comments are only going to make their Christian brothers and sisters struggling with SSA feel completely unable to open up. When I first began to share my own experiences with friends at church, I was struck by how many mature Christians felt they needed to apologise for comments they’d made in the past about homosexuality, which they now realised may have been hurtful.

Key to helping people feel safe about sharing issues of SSA is having a culture of openness about the struggles and weaknesses we experience in general in the Christian life. Christian pastor and writer Timothy Keller has said that churches should feel more like the waiting room for a doctor and less like a waiting room for a job interview. In the latter we all try to look as competent and impressive as we can. Weaknesses are buried and hidden. But in a doctor’s waiting room we assume that everyone there is sick and needs help. And this is much closer to the reality of what is going on in church.

By definition, Christians are weak. We depend on the grace and generosity of God. We are the “poor in spirit” (Matthew 5 v 3). It is a mark of a healthy church that we can talk about these things, and so we need to do all we can to encourage a culture of being real about the hard things of the Christian life.

But there is a caution: having made it easy for someone to talk about their sexual struggles, we must not then make the mistake of always talking to them about it. They may need to be asked about how things are going from time to time, but to make this the main or only thing you talk about with them can be problematic. It may reinforce the false idea that this is who they really are, and it may actually overlook other issues that they may need to talk about more. Sexuality may not be their greatest battle.

2. Honour singleness

Those for whom marriage is not a realistic prospect need to be affirmed in their calling to singleness. Our fellowships need to uphold and honour singleness as a gift and take care not unwittingly to denigrate it. Singles should not be thought or spoken of as loose ends that need tying up. Nor should we think that every single person is single because they’ve been too lazy to look for a marriage partner.

I remember meeting another pastor who, on finding out I was single, was insistent that I should be married by now and proceeded to outline immediate steps I needed to take to rectify this. He was very forthright and only backed down when I burst into tears and told him I was struggling with homosexuality. It is not an admission I should have needed to make. We need to respect that singleness is not necessarily a sign that someone is postponing growing up.

3. Remember that church is family

Paul repeatedly refers to the local church as the “God’s household” (for example, 1 Timothy 3 v 15). It is the family of God, and Christians are to be family to one another.

So Paul encourages Timothy to treat older men as fathers, “younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters” (1 Timothy 5 v 1-2). The church is to think of itself as immediate family. Nuclear families within the church need the input and involvement of the wider church family; they are not designed to be self-contained. Those that open up their family life to others find that it is a great two-way blessing.

Singles get to experience some of the joys of family life; children get to benefit from the influence of other older Christians; parents get to have the encouragement of others supporting them; and families as a whole get to learn something of what it means to serve Christ by being outward-looking as a family.

4. Deal with biblical models of masculinity and femininity, rather than cultural stereotypes

Battles with SSA can sometimes be related to a sense of not quite measuring up to expected norms of what a man or woman is meant to be like. So when the church reinforces superficial cultural stereotypes, the effect can be to worsen this sense of isolation and of not quite measuring up.

For example, to imply that men are supposed to be into sports or fixing their own car, or that women are supposed to enjoy craft or to suggest that they will want to “talk about everything”, is to deal in cultural rather than biblical ideas of how God has made us. It can actually end up overlooking many ways in which people are reflecting some of the biblical aspects of manhood and womanhood that culture overlooks.

5. Provide good pastoral support

Pastoral care for those with SSA does not need to be structured, but it does need to be visible. Many churches now run support groups for members battling with SSA; others provide mentoring or prayer-partner schemes.

Those with SSA need to know that the church is ready to support and help them, and that it has people with a particular heart and insight to be involved in this ministry. There may be issues that need to be worked through, and passages from the Bible that need to be studied and applied with care and gentle determination. There may be good friendships that need to be cultivated and accountability put in place, and there will be the need for long-term community. These are all things the local church is best placed to provide.

It has been a few years now since I first started telling close Christian friends that I battle with homosexual feelings. It was a lengthy process and in some ways quite emotionally exhausting. But it was one of the best things I have ever done. The very act of sharing something so personal with someone else is a great trust, and in virtually every case it strengthened and deepened the friendship. Close friends have became even closer. I also found that people felt more able to open up to me about personal things in their own lives, on the basis that I had been so open with them. There have been some wonderful times of fellowship as a result.

It has now been several months since I shared about the issue of sexuality publicly with my church family. Again, it has been a great blessing to have done so. There has been a huge amount of support—people asking how they can help and encourage me in this issue, many saying that they are praying for me daily. Others have said how much it means to them that I would share something like this. It has also been a great encouragement to me that it does not seem to have defined how others see me. Aside from the expressions of love and support, business was back to normal very quickly.

—

Sam Allberry has been a pastor at St Mary's Church, Maidenhead, UK since 2008. Prior to that he worked as the pastor for students at St Ebbe's Church, Oxford, UK. His passion is helping people understand the significance and wonder of biblical truth. He is the author of Is God Anti-Gay? You can follow him on Twitter: @SamAllberry

(Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Allberry available from The Good Book Company, 2014. It appears here with the permission of publisher. For more information visit The Good Book Company.)

Festal Sabbathing

If we’re going to have the kind of church that doesn’t underwhelm earnest Christians and encourage them to opt for “community” instead of church, what kind of body of disciples do we need to become?

“Discipleship is never complicated or easy, but always simple and hard.” – Mike Breen

That’s certainly true of this call to discipleship. We’re called to expect that Jesus will give us plenty to receive in each Sabbath feast.

The great London Baptist preacher Charles Spurgeon once had a pastor-friend who came to him discouraged. He was upset about the lack of fruit he saw from his preaching ministry. The pastor complained that he was not seeing people come to faith in Christ under his preaching.

“Well,” Spurgeon retorted, “you don’t expect that someone will come to faith in Christ during every sermon, do you?” Sheepishly, the pastor said, “well, no.” “That’s precisely the problem,” Spurgeon said.

SMALL EXPECTATIONS?

We often suffer from abysmally low expectations of what God will do in the power of the Spirit when his people are gathered in his presence.

Growing disciples of Jesus, in contrast, will experience a growing anticipation of what Jesus will do, especially when we come to God in the posture of receptivity. We come expecting that it will primarily be him that does a great work in and among us.

We no longer look at Sunday as the religious version of a dreaded Monday. We no longer see it as a day when we have to get the children up, get them dressed, get them fed, and keep them quiet so that we can say we went to church, and that our kids didn’t embarrass us.

Instead, Sunday becomes one of our favorite days of the week—even if we love going to work on Monday and hanging out with pizza, beer, and a movie on Friday night.

3 LETHARGIC ALTERNATIVES

Some fast-growing churches seem to put all their energy into making the worship experience so spectacular that someone could wander in half-dead and be resurrected by the sheer force of the music, the lights, the preaching, and the crowds.

Other stagnating and declining churches seem to simply go through the Sunday motions, which can make the most zealous Christian comatose ten minutes in.

Some Christians have seen all this at its worst, and have lost hope in ever seeing it at its best. And so they are satisfied with small group gatherings and private devotions.

Our church’s experience of Jesus is dependent on our church’s expectations of Jesus. Will he pour himself out by his Spirit when we are gathered to keep his feast? Do we expect it? Do we believe that Jesus always throws the best feasts and brings the best wine?

So, what’s our challenge? How do we be become an expectant people?

ARE WE EXPECTING?

The challenge for those preparing to lead us in festal Sabbathing is to mine the riches of the gospel of Jesus in its diverse implications for a more abundant life under his lordship. Preachers must prepare with diligence, with prayer, employing all their God-given powers of spiritual imagination to proclaim the gospel with authority and generosity (2 Tim 4:2). They must expect that God will accomplish much through its proclamation.

Those that cook food for the rest of us to enjoy should cook with love, expecting and praying that it will be received (there’s that word again!) with glad and generous hearts (Acts 2:46). Those who watch the young children in the nursery, those who lead music, those who clean the kitchen, and all others who serve at the Sabbath feast should ready their hearts, expecting that their humble service will be used by the Spirit of God to enable others to receive his grace and be transformed by it.

Whatever we bring to the feast, we bring it with the joyful expectation that Jesus has given us the gift, and intends to use it for the edification of the body (Rom 12:4ff).

It is incumbent upon each member of the feasting body to calibrate their hearts throughout the week, expecting that the feast will be satisfying, and that Jesus will delight our souls on the richest of fare.

The challenge for each of us is much like the challenge of our entire Christian lives: to live our week in the hopeful expectation that the best is yet to come, and that each Sabbath feast is a foretaste of the greater feast of the New Jerusalem, which we also expect to enjoy soon.

—

Andy Stager is the pastor and planter of Hill City Church in Rock Hill, SC. Gardens Don't Launch (and Other Church Planting Proverbs) chronicles lessons he's learned on the missional-ecclesial frontier. He co-produces Gospel Neighboring, a weekly podcast, and is co-author with Daniel Wells of Countdown to Launch: 10 Church Planting Rules Worth Breaking. He and his wife own and operate The Cordial Churchman, which makes and ships 100 handmade bow ties each week.

[All rights reserved. Used by permission. Originally published at “The Churched Disciple: Sabbath -- ‘Expect’”.]

Miracles in a Modern Age

Anyone familiar with Jesus knows he spent a lot of time healing people. Those healings seem so foreign to modern disciples, as if from a far away land, the stuff of mythology or fiction. Yet, his healing ministry didn't stick with him; Jesus spread his power to heal into the lives of his followers. Does this mean that we too, as modern disciples, should practice healing? What should we expect when praying for it? Let's take a quick look at the 1st century to get our bearings. Then, we can turn to our response in the 21st century.

Imitating the Healer

To set the stage, there is a three part narrative cycle to Jesus’ ministry (Lk. 5-8): 1) Proclaim the kingdom message, 2) Perform an exorcism, and 3) Perform a healing. It’s a cycle of proclaiming the kingdom message and performing miracles. Jesus starts in this cycle (Lk. 4), calls twelve disciples to join him (Lk. 5-6), and then repeats the narrative cycle: kingdom message/exorcism/healing four times (Lk. 7-8). When we zoom in, Jesus proclaims the kingdom message through the parable of The Four Soils, exorcises the Gerasene Demoniac, heals Jarius’ daughter, and a woman who had a hemorrhage for twelve years (Lk. 8). He is proclaiming the kingdom message and performing miracles.

Then Jesus sends his disciples on a mission of their own (Lk. 9). Notice what they’re doing: “And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal” (Lk. 9:1-2). Proclaim the kingdom message, perform exorcisms, perform healings. The same things in the same exact order. Coincidence? Hardly.

It happens again, but with seventy-two disciples instead of twelve--representing Jesus mission to all nations, not just Israel (Lk. 10; cf. Gen. 10). Why the repetition? Jesus does it four times, disciples do it twice. This narrative weight is telling us that disciples of Jesus imitate Jesus. Disciples of Jesus don’t just believe in him for a nice afterlife; they imitate him in everyday life.

Have you ever seen children imitate their parents or younger siblings imitate older ones? They pick up on mannerisms and patterns of speech. They talk and act like them. I recently met someone’s sister, and I knew right away they were related because of shared mannerisms. My wife tells me our son acts “just like me.” As disciples of Jesus, we should talk and act like Jesus, pick up on his behavior and imitate it. Jesus even says as much: “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” (6:40).

If you are a Christian, you are a disciple who is being trained by the Holy Spirit to act like Jesus (cf. 6:36). What are we to imitate? Clearly, it’s not everything, like dying on a cross. Jesus is committed to preaching and healing; he’s equally committed to raising up disciples who do the same thing. Luke underscores this “And they departed and went through the villages, preaching the gospel and healing everywhere” (Lk. 6:6). Jesus sends his disciples to preach and heal, not preach and serve or preach and study. As modern people, imitating this part of Jesus ministry often seems absurd, out of reach, unrealistic.

Skepticism of Miracles

Regardless of Luke’s careful historiography, we find this all very implausible today. Demons, exorcisms, healings? Before we can begin to imitate Jesus healing, we must first address our own skepticism. There is a healthy skepticism. We’ve seen enough 20/20 exposes on charismatic shysters who fake healings to rake in tithes. We shouldn’t check our minds at the door. But, as modern people, we also possess an unhealthy skepticism.

Mythological, Supernatural View

Our unhealthy skepticism views healings like Harry Potter magic—mythological, supernatural events. As myth, we think of healing as something from a wild imagination (a potion poured out on a wound for instant healing). We treat miracles as rationally implausible.

We believe that science has proven miracles to be impossible. But this belief, is in fact not a provable fact. The scientific method insists on natural causes for everything. But how then can you naturally disprove a supernatural explanation? You can’t test a supernatural hypothesis with a natural scientific method. This has been compared to a drunk looking for his keys only in the light, simply because he cannot see in the dark. But what if the keys are in the dark? See the contradiction? This shows us that even science, at times, requires faith; that answers may actually lie in the dark.

Theological & Natural View

The theological view starts with belief in God (without ruling out belief in science). It’s natural because miracles have a lot to do with the natural order of things. For Jesus and his disciples, healing has to do with God overthrowing the powers. Luke scholar Joel Green points out that when Jesus encounters disease, he treats it as evil. Jesus rebukes disease like he rebukes demons. He rebukes a fever (4:39) and in the same chapter rebukes a demon (vv. 35, 41). Jesus is confronting, not just the disease, but the power behind the disease. Satan is falling and the kingdom of God advancing as they preach and heal. Disciples are sent to not only preach, but to heal and exorcise demons.

Healings, then, are a direct confrontation of the powers of this world that would have the world undone, broken, and in complete disarray. Peter confirms this theological reading when he says of Jesus: “he healed all who were under the power of the devil” (Acts 10:38). When Jesus comes into the world, he sees right through disease to its origin—evil—and he confronts it. Like a good doctor, he gets past the symptoms to the cause and cures it. Healing is an overthrowing of the powers that propagate suffering and evil in this world, reintroducing us to God.

We are encountering, not the mythological, but the theological, the logic of God against the powers. Miracles aren’t supernatural, but natural. They are about the abnormal becoming normal; the natural order of things being restored; miracles are about restoration of creation. They’re not otherworldly magical events; they are this-worldy natural events.

Jesus restores in two ways. The obvious way is that the sick are restored to health, dead brought back to life. The not so obvious way is their restoration into community. Often when Jesus heals he expresses concern for the damage done to social and communal life. Jesus is concerned with their status, their acceptance, their relationships. Jesus encounters a Gadarene man (Lk. 8), a former urbanite, who now lives in rural graveyards, where he wears no clothing, cuts himself, and is bound by chains, which he breaks over and over again. He wasn’t always this way. He used to be a boy, someone’s son. Imagine what his deranged state did to his relationships, to his community.

The better view of miracles is theological and natural; it overthrows the powers and restores creation and community. Story after story, Jesus not only confronts the powers, but also restores his creation--a widow’s son returned to her from death, a woman marginalized for twelve years restored in peace to her community.  Evil banished, health restored; isolation removed, community recovered.

Miracles for Modern Disciples

So how are we to respond as modern disciples of Jesus? In 2010, I was brought close to the desire for healing, for the powers of disease to be overthrown and creation to be restored. We were in Dallas for Thanksgiving. At 3:30am on Friday morning, my wife thought her water had broken. She was nineteen weeks pregnant. We combed the internet for advice, texted our doctor, prayed for healing, and fell asleep. By 9am, we were at Baylor Hospital’s ER at our doctor’s request. Every possible scenario was flying through our minds—stillborn, miscarriage, birth to an incomplete baby. If there was a time to ask God for miracle, this was one of them.

Our son made it through that scare, but when he was actually born his heart rate kept dropping drastically. Nurses and doctors would burst into the room unannounced in the wee hours of the morning to check on my wife and little Owen. This happened over and over again. I kept praying for healing. We found out that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and when Robie went into contractions, he would move down the birth canal, tightening the cord around his neck. This sent the monitors screaming. We prayed and pleaded, and by God's grace, the cord came undone and he was delivered naturally, without a scratch.

I've prayed for my son's life and my daughter's eye and they've been delivered, but also asked God to intervene in other people's lives and their suffering only persisted. Sometimes God heals and sometimes he does not. As I’ve pondered healing for today, I’ve come to the conclusion that we should pray with great faith in the power of God to heal and with, perhaps, greater faith in God not to heal. Very often, as we pray, our faith slips into healing and away from God. We get hung up on healing instead of trusting in the Healer.

Even if God does heal, the disease of death is inevitable. Why, then, should we seek temporary healing? What is God doing when he interrupts our lives with temporal relief? Are they displays of deity? In Luke, Jesus’ healings don’t so much prove deity as they do explain the gospel. We are sent to proclaim the gospel and heal. Healing always comes in tandem with preaching. Jesus is showing us that the gospel announces and inaugurates the restoration of all things, restoring the world to the way it is supposed to be. When miracles happen we get a glimpse into the past, the way things were before Satan fell and, and a glimpse into the future, the way things will be when the powers are overthrown once and for all at Jesus second coming.

The gospel is a message of reversal, the reversal of everything back to its blessed, original state—whole not broken, health not sickness, life not death, community not isolation. Disciples of Jesus have stepped into a space and time rift, where the glory and power of God are seeping into our world, renewing people, culture, and creation. The problem is that many of us barely have our foot in the door. Our minds are broken, captive to the mythologized, supernatural view of all things. The gospel liberates us from this to believe and know a God who overthrows the powers and restores creation. Jesus has come to re-integrate the world to a place where there is no supernatural/natural, mythological/rational division. He’s rescuing us from our captivate minds and is pressing his kingdom of new creation back into this warped world. He’s turning it inside-out, showing us the way it’s supposed to be.

If it is true that Jesus is restoring creation, removing the supernatural/natural/sacred/secular divide, then we should reflect that reintegration in our work and play. The future of restoration should peak out, not just in prayers for healing but in ways of working and living. If we are imitators of Christ, we should talk and act like Christ in everything we do. The problem is many of us are bound by the mythological view of Jesus, that he is practical fiction. People can’t tell that the gospel dissolves the sacred/secular divide because we uphold it by the way we live. We refuse holiness; we make shoddy culture; we consume the city; we ignore the poor. Your ethics, your holiness, your language, your dress, your work, your play all say something about Jesus, about the gospel.

Does your life reverberate with the age of restoration? Are we discovering new cures, making breakthroughs in technology, making great art, raising good citizens, displaying the imitation of Christ to our city? The restoration of all things, the reintegration of the mythological and the rational, the sacred and the secular. We are sent, like the twelve and the seventy-two, to preach and to heal, to heal our society through caring for the poor, counseling the troubled, creating great culture, raising great citizens, making great art, living distinct and holy lives. If we are disciples, our lives should demand a gospel explanation. Should we pray for healing? Absolutely. But we should also live the healing, the healing of all creation through the power of Christ is us, the hope of glory!

_

Jonathan K. Dodson (MDiv; ThM) serves as a pastor of City Life Church in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship, Unbelievable Gospel, and Raised? He has discipled men and women abroad and at home for almost two decades, taking great delight in communicating the gospel and seeing Christ formed in others.

Catechisms for Kingdom Warfare

Today, we are at war. Not with flesh and blood, but in soul. Our heart, soul, mind, and strength are in daily conflicts with the Cosmic Powers. How do you fight? The Apostle Paul wants us to be catechized. We need a catechism—a gospel-driven catechism of victory.

Dust off Your Catechisms

Catechizing believers, teaching a set list of questions and answers, is a long-rooted practice of the Bride of Christ. It's one that seems to be waning, if not already gone. It's definitely dusty, but we can recover it. Catechism is a powerful, helpful, biblical method of teaching others—and yourself.

How ultra-helpful are the Westminster and Heidelberg versions? The Westminster Catechism starts by asking:

Question 1: What is the chief end of man?

Answer: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Question 4: What is God?

Answer: God is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.

The Heidelberg Catechism’s first question and answer address the entirety of life and death.

Question 1: What is thy only comfort in life and death?

Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.

Preaching the Gospel to Our Hearts

We need to become experts in the art of preaching the gospel to ourselves. One of the greatest thinkers and pastors of the past 100 years was Martyn Lloyd-Jones, referred to by many as “The Doctor.” He rightly diagnosed why so many Christians flounder in their daily lives and experiences with God. The Doctor said, "Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?" How right on was he? A defeated, depressed, downtrodden, exasperated, exhausted, joyless, burnt-out Christianity is not Christianity.

We need to lay hold of the cross and remember our new life in Christ. We need to preach the gospel to ourselves. We need to catechize ourselves. Catechisms are a turnkey help in the practice of preaching to yourself.

Catechism ought to be in our spiritual discipline gun cabinet.

The long tested spiritual disciplines need a freshening in our perspectives. What can often be seen as a quiet and cute time around a cup of coffee, Moleskine, ESV Study Bible, assorted pens and highlighters—maybe some instrumental music—is nothing short of Kingdom warfare. We don't read the Bible to get a pick-me-up; we read to grow in the knowledge of the holy—yes, and amen!—and we take up the spiritual disciplines as weaponry against the ancient Reptile and his hobgoblins. “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ”(2 Corinthians 10:4–5 ESV). The last thing Satan wants of the Church is to obey Jesus, glorify Jesus, honor Jesus, spread the fame of Jesus—and that should be our first thing, the chief aim of all spiritual disciplines.

Attack With Gospel Truth

When the hiss of accusation, doubt, and fiery arrows draw near, Paul walks us through a catechism of victory in Romans 8:31-39; and if we resist the devil, and draw near to God, the snake will bolt (James 4:7-8). As you read Romans 8:31-39, look for the question marks.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Paul sets up seven questions (in ten verses!) and gives the answers—what is he doing? He is catechizing us. Romans 8:31-39 may be one of the first Christian catechisms. There seems to be four main questions:

Question: Why should I not doubt God's love and care for me? (vv. 31-32)

Answer: If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Question: How come charges will not stand against me? (v. 33)

Answer: It is God who justifies.

Question: Can I ever be condemned? (v. 34)

Answer: Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

Question: Can anything separate me from the love of Christ? Will I ever be unloved by God? (vv. 37-39)

Answer: No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Glory to God!

It All Comes Back to The Gospel

The questions are helpful, but the weapon is the answer. What weapon does Paul give when we are wondering if we'll be condemned? Read your Bible more? Pray harder? No way. He gives gospel truth. Stand-alone spiritual disciplines are not an encouragement; they are a vehicle, meant to help us draw near to God (James 4:8). Spiritual disciplines alone aren't the answer to a struggling heart; they take us to the answer. And each question is answered with gospel glories.

Question: Why should I not doubt God's love and care for me?

Answer: v. 32, He gave us his Son! (Gospel)

Question: How come charges will not stand against me?

Answer: v. 33, It is God who justifies us! How? The Cross & Resurrection (Romans 4:25). (More gospel)

Question: Can I be condemned?

Answer: v. 34, Never! Jesus died for you, is alive for you, is at the Father's right hand for you, and interceding for you. (Yep, more gospel!)

Question: Can anything separate me from the love of Christ?

Answer: vv. 37-39, No! You are a mega-conqueror through Christ. You have victory in him & nothing can separate from him. (And again, more gospel!)

Gospel. Gospel. Gospel. Gospel.

It always comes back to God's love; it's lauded four times in the passage (vv. 35, 37, 39). Always come back to his love. And God's love is made plain and clear in the gospel.

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6-8)

God wants you to know and feel his love. While else frame every answer with it?  You can never feel too loved by God.

Are you sure of his love (v.38)? That's the point of the catechism, to be sure. Preach to yourself the immeasurable, matchless bounty of God's love for you.

Responsive Reading

Here is responsive reading based off of Romans 8:31-39, that could assist you catechizing yourself with the gospel.

I struggle to believe God's love and care for me. Is there hope?

God is for me. No one can stand against God’s plan for me. He didn't spare his Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Is it true that God won't cast me aside? I've done some bad things; I'll never be good enough.

No one can condemn me, for Jesus died in my place—more than that, He is alive—and he reigns over my life, and is interceding for me.

My life is heavy; things aren't going as I planned. I thought God loved me?

Nothing can separate me from God's love. Trouble, distress, persecution, poverty, danger, and death cannot remove me from God's grace. In all these things, I am more than a conqueror through him who loved me.

Satan prowls around me. I've sinned too much. I've sinned too big. I'm nervous about my future.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord.

I confess these truths, clinging to Jesus—I believe and live again.

Christ be praised.

—

J.A. Medders is the Lead Pastor of Redeemer Church in Tomball, TX. He and Natalie have two kids, Ivy and Oliver. Jeff digs caffeinated drinks, books, and the Triune God. He blogs at www.jamedders.com and tweets from @mrmedders. Jeff's first book, Gospel-Formed: Living a Grace-Addicted, Truth-Filled, Jesus-Exalting Life, is set to release this November from Kregel.

Justification and Work

I’ve been writing about how faith applies to the everyday life of our work. I’m learning, just like the rest of us, how the grand doctrines of grace connect, form, and transform my job. Much has been written on how they transform our hearts, ministry, and even family, but I don’t know how much has been written on how they practically invade our workplaces. These doctrines don’t just live in our hearts, or in our churches, but they exist and are active on the street corners, in the restaurants, in our homes, and in our jobs.¹

The Claim

The audacious sounding claim, is that through an act by a Jewish Messiah, humanity in Christ, has been put right before God. We have been “reconciled” (Rom. 5:10, 2 Cor. 5:18-20). This reconciliation demonstrates that not only have we as people trusted in this Messiah, but we also have been found “right” in the sight of God (Rom. 4:5), but that even God’s disposition towards us is one of delight, even to the degree that he delights in his own Son, the Messiah (Mk. 1:11).

Is there any room for us to claim any credit in this process?  Happily we say “No!” There has been nothing done on our part to initiate or cause us to be reconciled before a holy God. The claim sounds audacious, too good to be true even. We live in a culture that operates contractually. 50-50. Fairness is the golden rule now. This claim flies in the face of fairness, and is otherwordly because it is made possible through grace (Eph. 2:8-9). We “ran up the bill” so to speak, and Christ “paid the tab.”

The Christ

This is all possible through the work of the Christ.  What was his work? A perfect life lived, a sacrificial death died, and a victorious resurrection. We, as enemies of God, traitors of the heavenly court, stand in opposition towards God. Christ comes and “stands in our place” (Rom. 5:17). He tell us where we failed and put things out of order. Then he overcomes, and puts everything back in order.  This Messiah went down into our valley’s of sorrow, overcame the temptations of glory on the mountaintops, and broke the power of evil that stains this world.

He literally became the wrath-taker. Paul says he was offered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification (Rom. 4:25). We have the declaration from God, that in Christ, we not only have been forgiven, but we are invited in to the Father’s arms and home. We are invited to the table of Christ to eat, drink, and enjoy him.

I struggle to discipline myself to remember this declaration by God. I can easily get caught up in how I performed at work, then get caught up in how I performed in church, instead of resting in Christ’s performance on my behalf. Recently I went through a season in which, at work, there were people who seemed against me. We’ve all experienced this. During this time, it was easy to use my own performance to justify myself. Sadly the more I did this, the more pride crept into my heart, and the more I cared about what these people thought. I wasn’t able to respond in grace because I was so set on proving them wrong. However, the Spirit reminds me that my identity isn’t “Collin the banker” or “Collin the church planting resident,” but “Collin, God’s son who’s loved in Christ.” Grasping our justification, frees us up to graciously care and love our co-workers regardless of how we’re being treated.

The Consequence

Consequence is usually viewed in a negative light, but it only means the result of something. The consequence of this declaration of God is freedom from listening to the declarations inside our own head that either justify or condemn us. A final word has been spoken, a declaration has gone out; we are right, loved, accepted, forgiven (not merely excused) in Christ. On the flip side, we are in no place to make justifying or condemning statements about others. It is Christ to condemn and justify.

We are no longer bound to be defined by our circle of friends, the work we do, or society’s valuing of that work, but we are bound and defined, in love, in the fellowship and love of the Trinity. We are, therefore, freed from the work of our hands being used to define, justify, or condemn us.

Now What?

We are free to affirm others in the workplace because we are secure in our affirmation from Christ.

• We are free to serve others in our workplace because our justification is wrapped up in the servant Christ.
• We don’t hang on every word or declaration from our employers; our declaration in Christ from the Triune God of the universe sustains us.
• We can live under the umbrella of the declaration of Christ, when the torrential rain of condemnation comes.
• We no longer swing from despair (not good enough) to pride (I am good enough) in our work, but fix our eyes on Christ, because of his goodness and finished work.

Now our jobs are no longer empires we are building, but tools to live for Christ’s kingdom.

Be assured, justification means Christ is for us.

—

Collin Seitz is an almost 30 year old, grateful husband to Allison, father to Hudson and Hannah, learner, and most importantly disciple and lover of Christ and His Kingdom. He enjoys a nice cup of Oolong Tea, reading, playing basketball, and watching his kids grow up. He and his family are currently a part of Austin City Life, and a church planting resident there. He blogs at For Christ, City, and Culture. Twitter: @Collin_Steitz

^{1. I don’t mean to minimize the good news of Christ to the doctrines of grace. I understand that the good news of Christ as Messiah and King will be deeper and fuller than what I have written here.↩}

On Mission Through Submission

Jesus Submits to the Father

As Christians, we all want to be used by God. We want to be able to use the gifts and abilities he has given us for his glory. The question we may ask ourselves is how are we to be used by God? We seem to either not know how to begin or after having begun we don’t know how to keep going. This struggle can become frustrating because nothing seems to be happening. It can also lead us to try and make things happen, which leaves us begging God to bless what we have done rather than doing what God has promised to bless. Whether we are frustrated or trying to make things happen, we are rendered less effective or totally ineffective because our focus is off God’s mission and on ourselves.

Jesus did not try to make things happen outside of submitting to the will of the Father. He was faced with the ultimate call to lay down his life and he “set his face like flint,” toward that which the Father commissioned him to (Is. 50:7, Lk. 9:51). Had he tried to do things in any other way, had he tried to manufacture the Father’s will, or had he given into Satan’s offer for the burden of his call to be lifted, he may have saved himself, but no one else. He leaned heavily on the Father as Hebrews 5:7 tells us and through his obedience he purchased salvation for all that the Father gave him. Jesus’ dependence on the Father kept him on mission and allowed him to save and send out disciples who are also commissioned through submission.

I have experienced this frustration and given into this temptation to make things happen. They only lead to feelings of stagnation and confusion. Throughout my experiences, I have always believed and affirmed that God defines what it is that he actually commissions and equips us to do. That, of course, means that it might not be what we think, what we would like it to be, or when we would like it to happen. “God reserves the right to interrupt your life,” as one of my mentors always says. Yet, I was not always living according to my belief of how God commissions and equips. I was not always submitting to God. That was until I had an opportunity to begin a year-long internship at my church to help discern my call to ministry.

The Church Submits to Jesus

Scripture defines the church as the “body of Christ” among other things. “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it” (1 Cor. 12:27). Theologically, that concept of the church being the body of Christ is rich and has several implications, but at the very least it means that the church is a representation of Christ.  We see this in how both Paul and Peter describe believers being built together as the church for works of ministry (Eph. 2:19-22, 1 Pt. 2:4-5). These works of ministry are commissioned by Christ for the church to perform and empowered by the Holy Spirit (Matt. 28:19-20, Jn. 14-16).

Ephesians 5, which is usually referred to for how we look at marriage, offers insight into this issue of submission to Christ via the church. Paul wrote: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Eph. 5:22-24).

While we often look at this text from the standpoint of how the relationship of Christ and the church gives us a picture of marriage, we should also look at what it is saying about submission in the church. When Paul says, “Now as the church submits to Christ,” there is no command there; it is an assumption that the church is submitting to Christ. He refers to those that are submitting to Christ as the church; therefore, believers should be submitting to the church (i.e. being a part of the church, submitting to the leaders and serving) in order to submit to Christ.

Scripture also calls us to submit ourselves to God through offering up our lives. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship” (Rom. 12:1). As we offer our lives as a living sacrifice, we are commissioned through submission.

We see this as Paul calls the church in Thessalonica to respect those that are over them in the Lord, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you” (1 Thess. 5:12). Therefore, submitting to the local church or the body of Christ is in fact part of our submission to Christ. Through submitting to the local church we are all commissioned to offer our lives to Christ in accordance with our gifts, for the edification of the church, and for our own growth in him.

In Acts 13, the Apostle Paul, when he was still referred to as Saul, was with Barnabas and others at the church in Antioch. “While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.’ Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off” (Acts 13:2-3). Even the Apostle Paul here is submitting to Christ via the local church and it is in that setting that the Holy Spirit sends them out to do God’s will.

On Mission through Submission

When we live according to our nature, which is corrupted by sin, we do not desire to submit to anything or anyone and society affirms in us that fear and dislike of submission. Yet in our attempt to not submit, we end up being slaves to anything other than God and his will. Our lack of submission to God and his church leave us as slaves to sin (Rom. 6). The gospel frees us from thinking that we need to live according to any story for our lives that society, our nature, or any other voice may tell us. We are freed to live according to the story of God, which is sovereign over any other story. In Christ, we are free to submit to God and his church. Submission to God and his church calls us to humility, vulnerability and to be like Christ:

• Humility–Submitting to the leadership of our local church and to God develops humility in us. We open ourselves to those who are over in us in the Lord to evaluate God’s call on our lives along with us (Heb. 13:17).
• Vulnerability–Opening ourselves up to correction, encouragement, and service in the church leaves us feeling incredibly vulnerable. However, it is in that place of weakness that God works in us as he increases our dependence on him and our trust in him (2 Cor. 12:9).
• Christ-likeness–To submit to the church is to submit to the body of Christ and ultimately Christ himself. To submit to Christ is to do what Christ himself did, which was to submit to the will of the Father (Phil. 2:5-11).

So as we seek to understand God’s will for our lives, let us be like Christ. We could say that to understand God’s will for our lives, we have to actually submit to God’s will. Our misconceptions about submission are proved gloriously wrong as we humbly bow before Christ and open ourselves to what He would do in and through us. As we do this, he shows us that though the world, our sinful nature or Satan may call us to submit to things in sinful ways that harm us, Jesus calls us to submit to him for our greatest good and his glory.

—

Nick Abraham (DMin student at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) lives in Navarre, OH with his wife and daughter. He serves as an Associate Pastor at Alpine Bible Church in Sugarcreek, OH. He is a contributor to Make, Mature, Multiply: Becoming Fully-Formed Disciples of Jesus and blogs at Like Living Stones.

Liberating Our Teens from Sexual Lies

(Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from Preparing Your Teens for College by Alex Chediak available from Tyndale House Publishers, 2014. It appears here with the permission of the author and publisher. For more information and a lengthier excerpt, visit Alex’s site.)

A Biblical Understanding of Sex

Our teens need to have a biblical understanding of sex in order to navigate the challenges that await them in college. For starters, let’s define the term, not on an anatomical level but at a foundational level. Here’s how pastor and author Tim Keller puts it:

Sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being. Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, “I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.”¹

And that’s true. But Keller (and the Bible) would go a step further. Sex is a physical picture of a spiritual reality: God wants to dwell among and deeply know his people. God invented sex not just to propagate the human race and to give us enjoyment but to be a picture of the salvation story—Jesus Christ laying down his life for us (his bride) to bring us back to God (see Ephesians 5:25-27; 1 Peter 3:18). Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas say it well:

God created sex to serve as a living portrait of the life-changing spiritual union that believers have with God through Christ. . . . God created the physical oneness of sex to serve as a visible image, or type, of the spiritual union that exists between Christ and the church.²

At stake in our sexuality is nothing less than our representation of Jesus Christ’s relationship with those who follow him.

Maybe you’re saying, “This all sounds great for an adult Sunday school class, but is it really practical to explain this to our teens?” While I wouldn’t expect the same level of interest from a 12- or 13-year-old as from a 17- or 18-year-old, I do believe teens need a big-picture perspective on what sexual intimacy represents if they’re going to win the battle for purity in college and throughout their adult lives. And a biblical understanding of sex is the best antidote to the culture’s sexual lies. Our culture believes that sex is all about me. My desires. My satisfaction. It’s about using others, not serving them. But the Bible tells us that sex is all about God and his glorious work in bringing us into relationship with him. In the context of marriage, sex is about giving ourselves to serve our spouse (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

A BIBLICAL MOTIVATION FOR PURITY

A biblical understanding of sex leads to a biblical motivation for abstaining until marriage. I fear that sometimes we motivate teens to sexual purity in small, even worldly ways, rather than in big, biblical ways. I have friends who grew up in Bible-believing churches that faithfully preached chastity, but the rationale was “Hey, you wouldn’t want to get pregnant, or get someone pregnant, or contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD). And watch out for those condoms! They’re not as effective as your health teacher says they are.”

The problem is it’s assumed that teens know that sex before marriage is a sin and little to no explanation is given as to why it’s a sin. Of course, we should want our teens to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancies and STDs, but neither of these is an explicitly Christian goal. You don’t have to believe the Bible to want to avoid those things. Moreover, this argument doesn’t confront the cultural lie that sex is all about self.

If our teens know something about how human sexuality is meant to represent the permanent, spiritual union between Jesus Christ and his bride, it gives meaning and motivation to the prohibition on sex outside of marriage. Sexual intimacy in any context besides marriage dishonors God by telling a lie about how Jesus Christ relates to his people. And it massively disrupts our relationship with God (see 1 Corinthians 6:12-20). In contrast, the fear of the Lord teaches us to hate all evil (see Proverbs 8:13), to abstain from sexual immorality (see 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7), and to be holy because God is holy (see 1 Peter 1:13-16).

Once our teens understand what sex is, what it represents, and why it must be reserved for marriage, they’ll be better able to understand that there is a whole range of behaviors that are sexual in nature and that therefore must all be reserved for marriage. I fear it’s too easy for those with small, worldly motives for “staying pure” to cut corners, focusing on how close they can get to the edge without falling off. For example, ministry leaders in Christian college settings will confirm that a significant number of professing Christian students (like their non-Christian counterparts) do not consider oral sex to be sex. Why not? Because it doesn’t fit their overly narrow definition of “sex.”

But if they had a more comprehensive understanding—one rooted in the perspective summarized above—they would see that of course oral sex is sex. It’s the giving of oneself to another person in an incredibly intimate way. Like-wise, a lot of other physical acts would fall into this category.

Which leads us to the age-old question Christian teens and singles ask: How far is too far before marriage?

AN OBJECTIVE STANDARD FOR PURITY

But your teen might ask, “Isn’t that legalism?" We should anticipate this response. Many Christian teens will recognize that “getting physical” with someone they don’t really know is pure lust and clearly wrong. If they struggle at this point, remind them of 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, the forgiveness available in Christ, and that their past behavior need not determine their future. For others, the clear line of purity gets fuzzy when they develop a mutual attraction. Maybe they agree to be “exclusive,” to be boyfriend and girlfriend. They begin to see this other person as “special”—more than a friend but less than a spouse. So things get a bit physical (i.e., sexual), but they tell themselves, It’s not like we’re having sex, Things aren’t getting out of hand, and We know when we need to stop. And they tell others, “Don’t judge us—you don’t understand.” (As if we never lived through those years.)

Teach your teens what’s wrong with this logic before they’re in the throes of temptation and every ounce of their being wants to believe they have the right to decide “how far is too far.” The idea that Christians are allowed to set their own sexual standards, as long as they accomplish the goal of avoiding intercourse, is dangerous and misleading. . . .

This is not legalism. It liberates our teens from being captive to their own subjective standards, which can be profoundly flawed, especially in the heat of the moment. And we can really help them as parents, because if you’re married, I’d imagine that the boundaries of propriety toward other women or men are pretty clear for you. If our teens are to relate to young men and women “in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:2), they need to have this same clarity.

—

Alex Chediak is an author, speaker, and professor of engineering and physics at California Baptist University. Alex has been involved in mentoring students for many years. He has published numerous articles in Boundless (Focus on the Family), Trak (God’s World News), and Christian College Guide (Christianity Today). He is the bestselling author of Thriving at College (Tyndale House, 2011). Alex and his wife, Marni, live with their three children in Riverside, California. Visit Alex’s site or follow him on Twitter: @Chediak.

^{1. Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (New York: Dutton, 2011), 223-224.↩ 2. Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas, Sex, Dating, and Relationships (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2012), 18..↩}