Ways to Love Your Children - Excerpt

(Editor's Note: The following selections come from Patrick Morley's Man Alive, Multnomah Publishers, 2012. They appear here with the author and publisher's permission. More information and a free download at Man in the Mirror.) Men, let's kick-off Father's Day with some practical ideas to be a great father. Nothing is more precious to a man than his children. If your children are doing well, all your other problems will fit into a thimble.

Raising godly kids today takes intentionality - the right amount of structure, time, prayers, encouragement, and affection. My own children are grown now. I did a lot of things wrong, but here are ten practical love-in-action things I did right for you to consider. Remember, love is what love does.

Lead Your Children in Family Devotions

Three or four days a week during the school year, we had a 15-minute family devotion. I usually started with a life situation - something in the neighborhood, from the newspaper, or a school situation. Then I read a Scripture passage that applied. We finished with each of us saying a short prayer. To make the prayers more than "Let us have a good day," we also prayed for someone in need each time.

Establish Work Boundaries

To make family my priority, I set up some rules: leave work no later than 6:00 p.m., don't take work home, and don't work weekends. During my evening commute, I'd let my mind process what I'd been doing during the workday - until I drove over a creek about a mile from our home. Then I would put everything into a mental briefcase and toss it into the creek. That gave me a couple of minutes to prepare to greet my family.

If you want to lead a balanced life, decide how many hours you want to work and stick to your guns. Put work appointments on your calendar in pencil, but put your family commitments in pen. Love is time, and time is love.

Spend Time with and Date Your Children   

When our kids were young, we played board games after dinner. I endured endless, mind-numbing repetitions of Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders - games that require the IQ of a goldfish. I drove them to school during the week and stayed home with them every Saturday morning while Patsy ran errands. I cherished this time with them. Once they became teenagers, I started taking one child out every Tuesday for a dinner date and something fun, like ice cream, go-carts, or the mall. Looking back, those were the best, and almost only, one-on-one times we had. If you're not intentional about this, a whole year can go by without you sharing a single deep conversation with your kids.

Pray for and Encourage Your Children with Words Every Day

I realized that my wife and I were probably the only ones who would intentionally be praying for our kids every day. So I made up a list of things to pray over - their salvation, growth, integrity, work ethic, protection, future mates, and so on. I don't think it's a coincidence that all the specifics we prayed for are today a reality.

I also made it a goal to tell each of my children daily, "I love you and I'm proud of you" - words I didn't hear growing up, which still affects me today. There's biblical precedent for this: At both the baptism of Jesus and the transfiguration, God spoke and said, "You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy." In other words, "I love you and I'm proud of you."

Attend as Many of Your Children's Activities as Possible

Perhaps because of my own experience with my parents not attending my games, I decided from the start that I would never miss a recital or a game. And I never did. Fortunately, my work allowed that flexibility. One of my greatest joys came the day my son said, "Dad, I don't know what I want to do, but whatever it is, I want a career that lets me attend my kids' games like you attended mine."

Eat Dinner Together 

The dinner table can be the medium that allows families to transfer spiritual and moral values from one generation to the next. So we made eating dinner together a priority. We worked around school activities and didn't answer the phone during dinner. That's not likely to happen every night without fail, but at least don't make choices that preclude it.

Expose Your Children to Ministry

We participated as a family in many of the ministry opportunities offered by our church. In fact, we selected ministries precisely because we could include our children, such as housing visiting missionaries and delivering Thanksgiving meals. When they were older, our kids went without us to youth camps and on mission trips, which helped them build confidence in their own faith.

Make Your Children Responsible to Attend Church

Just as it's foolish to let your kids skip school, it's foolish to let them skip church. When kids are young, they will freely go to church if you go. Once our kids were teens, though, we experienced resistance. They were "too tired to go to church" after being out on Saturday night. So rather than do battle every Sunday morning, we transferred responsibility for attending church to them. If they were too tired to attend church, they could sleep in and skip church, but then the following Saturday night they needed to stay home so they wouldn't be so tired. Guess how many times that happened again?

Remember: You Hold an Awesome Power

Right now, your kids desperately need to know that someone loves them as they are. They yearn for someone who will overlook their faults, forgive their sins, and love them without reserve. They hunger for someone who delights in and believes in them. They thirst for someone who thinks they're great - who thinks the best of their motives. Whether they can articulate it or not, they long for someone who will make them feel safe.

You are God's designated solution. Are you willing to make the first move... and keep on making it?

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Patrick Morley graduated with honors from the University of Central Florida, which selected him to receive its Distinguished Alumnus Award in 1984. He has earned a Ph.D. in Management and completed post-graduate studies at the Harvard Business School and Oxford University, and graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary. Author of the best-selling book The Man in the Mirror, Patrick has written 18 books and founded Man in the Mirror - a ministry for men. He lives in Winter Park, FL with his wife, Patsy. They have two married children and four grandchildren. Twitter: @patrickmorley

Discipleship is for Young Parents Too

(Editor's Note: This article is reposted from a series at Domestic Kingdom and appears here with the author's permission.) As a mom of young children, I feel like I’m going, going, going all the time.

On a typical day, I have devotions to be done, breakfast to make, chores to supervise, reading to do, games to play, school to teach, lunch to make, diapers to change, dishes to clean, training to do, gospel conversations to have, naps to enforce, peace to keep, dinner to prepare, family bonding to facilitate, laundry to fold, and so on and so on.

Where in that long list of important activities can I find time or energy to disciple younger women? How much should helping other Christians grow factor into my daily plans? What could this discipleship look like?

Discipleship looks different in different seasons, and as a Christian parent who desires to see the gospel magnified, being a part of the growth of other Christians is a privilege and a necessity. When Christ came, he died for broken people. At the end of time, Christ will present his bride, the church, radiant and blameless to himself (Ephesians 5). There is no such thing as Lone Ranger Christianity!

Especially in a season of parenthood with young children (which itself can tend to be isolating and lonely) involvement in another believer’s life can refreshingly lift our gaze from the mundane tasks of the day to the bigger reality of what the Lord is doing to make a people for himself.

What do young parents have to offer to younger believers?

Because stay-at-home parents get the privilege of serving little ones day in and day out, often with little self-initiated appreciation, we get the opportunity to live out the gospel before watching eyes. As Christ came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28), our dying to self to serve our children displays Christlikeness. As believers we are all being made more and more into the image of Christ by the grace of God.

Parenthood in the young years lends a unique crucible into which our selfish natures are refined to be more holy. That should be shared with others!

In the area of biblical womanhood, the "younger me" would have benefited hugely from a true picture of what young motherhood looked like. I loved children and wanted a family. But I think a realistic idea of the work involved in raising children and keeping the home would have informed some of the choices I made. I had an inflated view of what I could accomplish in my waking hours. I thought I could be a doctor, a pastor’s wife, and mom-extraordinaire all-in-one.

I spent a great deal of time shadowing doctors, but I didn’t initiate much to spend time with a mom. I think if I had, her life would have offered much wisdom to me as I considered what kind of degree I achieved, what career I pursued, or how much I financially invested in my education. Seeing a real-life picture of biblical womanhood and having realistic role models would have challenged my proud thoughts of being able to do all and have all and be all.

Discipleship should be happening in all seasons of life: dating, beginning a marriage, parenting young children, parenting teenagers, growing old, retiring. Each season brings its own freedoms and limitations. Because of the unique needs of young motherhood, discipleship will probably not look like formally sitting down with a younger woman and digging into the depths of Scripture for hours.

More likely this discipleship will happen in intentional conversations and pictures of gospel application facilitated by opportunities to correct children or pick up toys. You can pray for one another and lift each other before the Lord even with your two-year old wiggling in your lap. Being a young parent is not an excuse to not disciple younger believers, it is a reason to do so.

What are some reasons we don’t disciple as young parents? How does the gospel challenge these objections?

Objection #1:  I don’t have the time or energy.  Discipling younger believers is not convenient. 

The other day I was trying to figure out how to make something.  And my son said to me, “Just use your computer and search for it.”  Ta-da.  Instant information with the push of a button.  No need go to the library to find a book or call an expert for advice.  All I had to do was push a button.

We live in a culture of convenience.  Things come easily and often instantly.  In some ways, this ease of life cuts against the very grain of Christianity, which calls us to deny ourselves and live for Someone greater.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2  

Christ loved sinners to the point of death on a cross!  If we have received that sacrifice, how can we not also sacrifice to love others by investing in their lives? If we are in Christ how can we not also be energized by his strength?

Christ has redeemed that young believer in your church. He means to sanctify us all and make us more like Christ.

If our lives can be used by God in his work of sanctification, we would be wise to consider whether this objection of inconvenience and lack of energy is legitimate or not.

It’s true: life only gets busier with children.

As young parents, we are responsible to train up our children in the fear of the Lord, and they should be one of our main priorities.  It does require much of our best time and energy. But are we making the best use of the time because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16)?

If I examine my own life truthfully, I admit that I find myself checking email or browsing Facebook more than necessary. That’s just one example of how I waste time. Sometimes I want to selfishly get away from my kids for a moment. Sometimes it’s to legitimately relax or do work.

But for all those times where I am wasting my time, how much more fruitful would it be to read a good book, a gospel-centered article, or meditate on some truth of Scripture? How much more fruitful would it be if I gathered those wasted minutes and do that with another believer? The truth is that I am lazy and selfish. I want to do what is easy. And it is pathetically easier for me to be temporarily satisfied knowing the latest status of all my friends, rather than in thinking about how I might access grace through the powerful Word or thinking about how I might benefit another spiritually.

Nothing about Christ dying on the cross was convenient for him.

It wasn’t an easy task that took no effort. Likewise, we shouldn’t expect imitating Christ to be easy. He suffered and gave his life for His people. Why should we expect to do any less?

As we look forward to the privilege of being God’s instruments for sanctification in the lives of other believers, we should embrace the price associated with it and rejoice in Jesus’ provision of everything we need.

Objection #2:  I’m not one to be emulated. My children aren’t obedient enough. I’m not fill-in-the-blank enough.

It’s true.  I’m not. They’re not. And I’ll never be. But praise God that we “can boast all the more gladly of [our] weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon [us]” (2 Corinthians 12:9). To disciple a young believer doesn’t mean you have to be the perfect parent and your children have to be perfect.

As one author put it:

I love my fellow-Christians not simply because of the gospel, but I love them best when I am loving them with the gospel! And I do this not merely by speaking gospel words to them, but also by living before them and generously relating to them in a gospel manner.  Imparting my life to them in this way, I thereby contribute to their experience of the power, the Spirit, and the full assurance of the gospel.  - Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians, page 22 

When I invite a young woman into my life and she sees my failings and my sin, I have the opportunity to show what kind of people Christ came to die for: sinful, blemished people.

I have the occasion to communicate that apart from Christ’s gracious work in my life I would be a much meaner, more selfish mom.  I can show this younger woman how to rejoice in the fact that Christ came to heal the sick and needy, not the healthy and perfect.

I also have the gospel reapplied to me when I realize that my example may actually benefit the younger woman by showing them what NOT to do or be. Ouch! What a humbling reality! As my pride balks at this idea I am made aware of my need for even more grace!

Yet I can rejoice as even my insufficiencies are helping this younger believer know Christ more and grow in him. I can thank God for the opportunity to know my own limitations and boast in Christ! As I seize the sufficiency of Christ for my motherhood on any day– smoothly-running or Twilight Zone– this younger believer gets to experience a dose of reality.

Objection #3:  My children are my priority. I can’t divide my time.

Precisely because they are learning about life by watching, don’t we want our children to see us caring for and investing in other people? We want them to know that our relationship with our spouse is a priority because God prioritizes marriage in his Word.

Likewise, when I have a younger lady into my home – when my children see us discussing a book, opening Scripture or praying together or talking about Jesus while we cut veggies -  what a marvelous opportunity it is to show them that the body of Christ is intimately involved in each other’s life.

This is another priority God places on the church: the fellowship of believers. My children get to learn that Mommy talks to lots of people about Jesus. She talks to me and she talks to Auntie Jessica. And Auntie Kate. Lord willing, in their minds, it is a normal and important thing for Jesus to be a part of every day conversations. It is a normal and important thing for people from church to be coming to their home and involved in Mommy’s life.

My bubble-loving two-year-old has surprised me on more than one occasion. As I get ready to pray with a lady, I will ask the kids to play quietly so we can pray.  More than once, she has toddled over to me and said, “I pay too.” And she’ll climb up in my lap and ceremonially cover her eyes, sit still, and wait quietly while we pray.

Our children are watching and learning more than we know. Modeling discipleship to your children in this way is not forsaking them as your priority.

Father God, I pray You would use these moments to show my children the implications of the gospel lived out.  I pray that my kids will catch a vision for how following Christ involves my giving my attention to other people for the sake of gospel growth.  I pray they will see the body of Christ building itself up in love (Ephesians 4:16).

Wisdom in all things

There is no doubt that young parenthood is a tiring, if not exhausting, season of life. We need God’s wisdom to decide how to spend our waking moments.

And sometimes wisdom requires us to say “No” to an extra relationship at this time. But let us also not excuse ourselves from ministering to the saints because of the busyness of this season. Let us rather run this race with others and rejoice that we can fall into bed exhausted each night because we have given ourselves for others, emulating our Savior in how he has given himself for us.

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Melanie Yong is from California. She’s married to Jeremy, who is a pastor in the Golden State. Together they’re raising three photogenic children (Miah, Ellie and Bethan) with another on the way.

Kids in the Family of God - Part One

(Editor’s Note: This is the first part of a three part series entitled Kids in the Family of God. Here is Part Two and Part Three.) Kids Can Serve Others - Even if They Don't Fully "Get It"

Yesterday, about 80 folks from The City Church and the Fort Worth community banded together in three locations for a tri-annual “SERVE” day. For all involved, it’s a day of giving back, serving others, and “seeking the welfare of our city.” For those involved who follow Jesus, it’s reflecting the idea that “the son of man came to serve, not to be served,” and is a physical reflection of the restoring work God has done in our hearts.

Among the folks at each SERVE site were many kids: as young as 18 months; as “old”  as 4^th grade. Amidst the painting, cleaning, planting, constructing, chopping, fixing, and other –ing’s, we had wondered what to do with our kids. To be fair, one site did have childcare for the youngest of the young: one of the practical realities is that the best place kids under 18 months or so, is in a specific environment where they can play and have fun together, while freeing up their parents to SERVE.

Honestly, we didn’t know how this would work: we brought balls and frisbees; we wondered if every site would need designated “childcare.” We also wondered if we’d only be able to simulate serving for our kids: we brought tiny plastic shovels and rakes and watering cans, in case we needed to make a spot for the kids to go plant flowers, or dig a garden, or something specific, but “less real” than the tasks at hand. But we didn’t need the toys or distractions. From much younger than we thought, our kids got involved, and every site had activities that enabled them to actually participate in serving others!

Kids picked up branches that had been cut.

Kids planted flowers, and loved getting dirty as they made the flowerbeds.

Kids got supplies for grown-up’s – they’re great little “runners.”

Kids helped paint. Yes, we went back and painted over it, and yes a few had to be deep-cleaned afterward. But they got to be actively involved in the colors that went on the ground or the walls, depending on the site.

Kids chalked an outline of the world – this was my favorite element to see: at one of our sites, we painted both global and US maps on the playground of an impoverished school. After we taped the template to the concrete, we had to chalk the outline of each country/state (see below for final product). Guess who did nearly all the chalking? Our 18-month-old through nine-year-old SERVE participants!

And more: kids were involved, on some level, with nearly every activity that we did yesterday.

And along the way, parents and other grown-up’s would ask our kids why we were doing what we were doing. We would pray with our kids, and would pray together for the kids at the school we were serving. We would remind them that we’re serving because Jesus first served us; we bless others because Jesus first blessed us. And while there’s no way that some were old enough to “get it,” others did. Maybe for the first time, kids got to actually participate in “the reconciliation of all things” – not just with their heads or hearts, but with their dirty, paint-covered little hands.

Bottom line, three concepts stood out:

• Kids can serve, from a much younger age than we expect: they’re part of the family; they’re part of the family activity. This is a truth that we’ve affirmed as a church for months – but SERVE tested our functional belief and practice of that concept. My kid surprised me. But as I washed her chalk-covered face (and maybe mouth?!), I thanked God for the chance he gave her, and prayed that one day she would fully understand why we did what we did.
• Kids can serve, in nearly any project: we simply need to be intentional about creating space for it, and putting aside our over-protection and over-efficiency and actually letting them participate. They might get a little cut, or soil a shirt, and it might take a bit more work or “fixes” on our part – but those minor inconveniences fade in comparison to the chance to hands-on teach our kids about serving others.
• Kids can serve, even if they don’t fully get what’s going on: older kids at our SERVE sites understood that we were blessing folks who didn’t have as much as we did. I want them to “get” that! They grasped the fact that Jesus restores our hearts, and reconciles the world, and so we display that in any way we can. I want them to “get” that! On the other hand, my 20-month-old had no idea what she was doing. But as we continue to invest in the school where she chalked a map, we can take her to the playground one day and let her know that, even before she knew it, she was serving and blessing others. I want her to “get,” and God willing, one day she will.

Kids in the Family of God

One of the biggest questions in the broader “missional communities” conversation is how to engage kids well. The City Church has been working out this concept for over two years, and certainly don’t have everything figured out. But there are a few things that have become clear over these years that seem to be worth sharing, as we raise kids in the family of God.

Kids in the Church Gathering

“They’re distracting.” “It’s over their head.” “He can’t sit still for that long.” “She doesn’t know what that word means.”

These are among the tons of reasons for not involving kids in the gathering of God’s people. Some excuses are legitimate; some are logical. Others aren’t. But as The City Church has played out the idea of kids being involved in the family of God for the past two years, one of the most valuable lessons we’ve learned is that while it might be a little less convenient for parents at times, the opportunity to involve our kids in the all-church gathering, from as early an age as logical, far outweighs adults' desire to be comfortable.

Here’s what one mom posted last month, after sitting next to her daughter on a typical Sunday morning:

Daughter: Mama the weeds are getting really tall in (our elderly neighbor's) yard. Me: Yep, they are. Daughter: We're supposed to be on the lookout for brokenness, right? Me: Yes, we are. Do you think those weeds represent brokenness? Daughter: Yeah. Me: What should we do when we find brokenness in the world? Daughter: Try to help. Maybe we should go over and pull those weeds for them. Me: Maybe we should So grateful for kids joining us in worship on Sunday AM. We haven't said a word to her about what's been discussed...this is all from listening while coloring during the sermon.

This is from a first-grader, from a sermon on Leviticus! If she can get that conversation, from that text, surely we see one example of not giving our kids enough credit, in assuming our teaching is too far “above them”!

Here's the point: children can understand the gospel - and many deep concepts - from a much younger age than we give them credit for.

Keeping children with adults is not a new concept. “Sunday School” and age-level ministry only became the norm in the 1950’s. For the first 1900+ years of the Christian faith, the church was one body, one family. And throughout the Bible, children are always present in the gathering of God’s people. 1 John, Ephesians, and Colossians all contain exhortations directly to children, alongside adults. And in Deuteronomy 31, "little ones" are specifically mentioned and were expected to participate in readings of the Hebrew Law - the same is seen in Psalms, Joshua, the Old Testament Prophets, and beyond. And of course in Mark 10, Jesus' famous words instructed his disciples to involve children in the ministry that was happening, despite their disruption and 'inconvenience.'

Did the kids “get” all of what was going on? Did they understand every nuance? Could they carry out everything to the extent that adults could? In the Bible and in most of history, probably not. But in both history and in our own corporate experience, the common experience of a gathering gives parents a shared basis, unified teaching, and common language for discipling their kids.

The most common image of the church in the New Testament is one of “family” – so in our church, our gatherings reflect a large gathering of an extended family, as parents, students, and children older than preschool gather together. We all celebrate God through singing and creed; as we celebrate God’s word through preaching and reading scripture; as we celebrate Jesus through giving and receiving communion; as we celebrate God’s work as we share stories of grace in our lives and our cities.

Bottom line, we aim for a "well-balanced" approach, but as a principle, we believe children should join the gathering of God’s people at as young as is logical:

• Parents carry out biblical training of their children by modeling behavior with them. Research provides a glimpse into post-high-school church dropout rates, at least partially based on the transition from the high-energy kid and student experience to “big church.” But if that’s the “church gathering experience” from much younger, we can help turn this trend around. In the all-church gathering, kids get to see dad praying, mom singing, the community of believers sharing faith, scripture, and communion together. I'll go into this more later, but the Bible is clear: parents are the primary disciples of your kids. Parents don’t just “tell their kids about God and church”; they model for their kids; they lead their kids; they participate with their kids. They experience gathered worship together: this picture of “the church coming together” will be normative for the rest of their lives.
• We do create a separate space for kids younger than kindergarten – but only for part of the gathering time. We include children from as early an age as logical. We do consider the fact that at their youngest age, kids can’t/won’t pick up on the elements we try to teach and model in our gathering. And for those families, one of the greatest ways to bless parents is to think of KidCity like the "kids table" at your family’s Thanksgiving meal: youngsters sit there for the meal but otherwise engage with the rest of the family. So newborns through kindergarteners start the gathering in KidCity, which is by volunteers from a different missional community each week, who lead kids in stories and activities. Kids remain there until after the sermon each week, so parents and older kids can engage well. But even these youngest folks in the church family are brought in for closing songs, communion, giving, and announcements. These are sometimes carried out in competition with crying babies, but it’s worth it so that children’s earliest memories include the meaningful activity of the gathered church family.
• It takes intentionality to engage children in the gathering, but it’s biblical and worth it. For full disclosure, there are some weeks where the biblical concept would be inappropriate for elementary kids, so we warn parents ahead of time, and like a “grown-up conversation” in actual families, we occasionally excuse kids from those gatherings to a different room. But most weeks, we go out of our way to make sure kids can engage: we provide activity sheets for children, which some parents use and which others don’t. The sheets help kids bring kids into the different activities of the gathering, with instructions like "Stand and sing when everyone else does: sing loud and have fun as we worship God!" and "During the sermon, draw a picture of something you hear." Whichever pastor-elder preaches does our best to include a kid-level story, or ask a question to kids, or at least include kids in the examples we give as we teach biblical truths to our church family.

Kids in the Community Meeting

“What do we do with the kids?!”

This is the single most-asked question in the world of missional communities. It’s asked at every conference I’ve been to, whether speaking or attending. Every pastor I know who leads a church in this structure, and every parent I know who seeks to live this lifestyle, wants to know the answer.

I don’t think there’s one magic bullet practice. But I do think there’s one vital principle to follow, when considering kids in the community meeting:

Kids are part of the family.

If Jesus hasn’t saved them yet, they’re like every other not-yet-believer in your community. If Jesus has saved them, then they’re likely not much different from the believer who Paul “fed…with milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it…” (1 Corinthians 3:2) – their “milk” might just look a little different from an adult who isn’t mature in their faith. But very simply, both need a little extra attention; both need a little extra consideration; both need a little extra unconditional love and understanding. But since they’re part of your family, you don’t reject, ignore, or push aside the less-mature adult – why would you do the same for the less-mature child?

Having children involved in most of our community’s activity has produced great fruit for our communities.

First, it battles idols like comfort and convenience. Would it be easier, less messy, and more efficient, to have adults-only discussion, dinner, or service? Yes. And we love things to be easier, less messy, and more efficient – if we’re honest, most of us would even like our faith to be that way. But God uses kids’ involvement as a practical display the real messiness of living in relationship with him. Kids break down idols, and God has used them to grow folks in patience and service.

Second, as Jesus himself said, “out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise” and “I thank you, Father… that you have hidden these things form the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children” (Matthew 21:16; 11:25). To realize kids’ joy, to see them relate to parents and other “grown-ups,” to watch them grow, learn, and share, and even to hear their comments, questions, and take on faith has taught our adults, in a few directions: at times it’s reminded us of the simplicity of faith, which many of us have lost. Sometimes it challenges our own faith, as we have to take a few minutes (or days) and find answers to questions they ask. These are just a few examples; there are literally dozens of things our kids have taught us.

Third, it places value on kids’ faith, and shows them that their relationship with God and community is just as real, growing, and vital as their parents’ is. To engage a child’s question, to have someone close to them who isn’t their parent validate their struggle and speak gospel truth into it, and to see adults listen to and engage their own opinion are a few of the most encouraging ways adults can come alongside parents in encouraging kids’ growth. It’s difficult to be challenged by a child, and humbling to be rebuked – biblically! – by a teenager. But engaging them in conversation emboldens their faith and encourages their growth.

Fourth, it’s a massive blessing to parents, to have godly counsel and help! The African proverb is dead-on: “It takes a Village to raise a child.” On many levels, your own child “has to” listen to you. But as your community lives life together, kids learn to respect, obey, do life with, and bless other adults. Other adults help you see patterns in your kids or in your parenting that you don’t. They give you advice on situations you don’t know how to deal with. They practically help by watching your kid for a last-minute date night or emergency. They bolster, exhort, encourage, or challenge your decisions and discipline. This isn’t always easy – and if I’m honest, it’s not always fun. But these things and more will push you and your child toward God. Raising a child in community allows others to speak into your kids, and to come alongside you in raising them.

Finally, kids in community provide practical discipleship for those who don’t yet have ‘em! Parents-to-be, newly-weds, and even college-aged men – many of whom had no idea what to do with children of any age – are now miles ahead when God blesses them with their own kids, because they’ve learned how to interact with, lead, get a laugh from – and even change diapers, and discipline! – the kids in our missional community. This provides much laughter for the rest of us, and has provided a mess or two as well. But on a deeper level, they’re being discipled in what it means to be a parent, or a parent of “the next age,” through hands-on practice instead of a parenting book or class. That’s life-on-life discipleship!

Bottom line, we see kids as part of the family, so we engage them in as much of the community’s activity as is logical.

While this varies a bit by small group, here are some “best practices” we encourage leaders to develop, as we engage kids in community well:

• From about first grade up, kids should be involved in all the activity of the community. You may remember from the previous post of this series, this is the same age we bring kids into the Sunday gatherings of the church. So it makes sense that at this age, kids participate in the life of the community – with the obvious exceptions of things like wine nights, conversations on more risqué topics, events after bedtime, etc. But in serving, in biblical discussion, in prayer and requests, in giving, in loving neighbors, in dinners and hanging out, in mission, and in most everything else, we involve kids, age elementary and older, into everything that the rest of the community does. They understand, interact with, and have great thoughts on far more than we often give them credit for.
• We only separate kids younger than first grade for periods of actual discussion. Our communities see each other many times a month. But in the times they meet to discuss scripture or other deeper things, older kids stay involved, but we do send babies and preschoolers into another room. But it’s just for that period of the meeting: we eat together, we pray together, we talk about life together, we plan mission and activities together. So in reality, youngsters are only separate for 30-45 minutes during those meetings. We find it best to simply rotate through the adults in the community, where one (or maybe two) at a time spend time with the kids. That way, it’s not always on the parents, and each adult is likely with the kids every six to 16 weeks. And in our community, we simply remind adults that every activity our Village does is worship: biblical discussion is no more godly than caring well for each others’ children. Leading kids in both playtime and spiritual conversation is a blessing and a service, on many levels.
• It takes intentionality to engage kids well, no matter what age they are.This is honestly why most folks don’t include kids in their communities: it takes time and effort in advance, and patience and flexibility in the moment.
  • We intentionally engage kids in conversation – this is especially easy before and during our meals together: if we all share a glimpse of grace we saw that week, so do the kids. If we’re discussing our day, they jump in too. And so on.
  • We intentionally engage kids in prayers and personal encouragement: they have real issues, struggles, fears, and concerns. It takes time, and it takes seeing others – and even seeing dad and mom – be honest about their imperfections, but eventually they’ll start sharing their own.
  • For older kids who are involved in biblical discussion, leaders intentionally draw them out: “what do you think?” or “what would you do?,” followed by an affirming comment, does wonders to a kid’s spiritual thinking. At times, we’ll ask them to read the passage. And at times, we’ll ask them to comment on someone else’s issue: “what do you think [your mom’s friend] should do in that situation?”
  • For younger kids, who aren’t involved in the discussion, we provide intentional activities: Every week, Nicole our KidCity Deacon, resources each missional community with a few simple but meaningful questions and an activity, song, story, etc, to assist the adult in engaging the children well during the community meeting.

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Ben Connelly lives in Fort Worth, TX, with his wife and daughter (with another on the way this fall). He started The City Church in 2010, which exists across the Fort Worth area as "a family of communities on mission, for the glory of God and the good of our cities," and lives on mission by teaching in the communications department at TCU. Ben sits on the board of a few city-focused organizations, equips folks in life, faith, and mission across the country, and writes at benconnelly.net. Twitter @connellyben

Bradbury's Dystopia and the Biblical Future

In the world of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, firemen start fires not stop them. They burn books and houses that contain books. Bradbury writes:

It was a special pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed. With the brass nozzle in his fists, with this great python spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of blazing and burning to bring down the tatters and charcoal ruins of history…while the flapping pigeon-winged books died on the porch and lawn of the house.

The blazing glory of burning books. This is what the book's hero, Montag, lives for. But more than books are consumed in the dystopian future of Fahrenheit 451. Montag's country is physically intact, despite the fact that it survived two atomic wars. Culturally, however, his world is crackling in flames. The reading of books is no longer permitted. Deep thought is discouraged. Instead, everyone watches TVs the size of their living room wall. In the words of Neil Postman, they have “entertained themselves to death.” The world is in gross cultural decline and, as a result, people are in decline. People no longer know how to have meaningful conversation. Everything is superficial. People don’t ask questions of one another; they just talk at one another. Humanity has become a shell of life, a corpse of entertainment, with very little truth, beauty, or virtue left. This is the future of Fahrenheit 451.

What is the Biblical Future?

The world of Fahrenheit 451 is physically, culturally, and humanly broken. Creation, culture, and humanity are in need of renewal. This dystopian vision is the opposite of the biblical vision of the future. In Revelation 21-22 we see a very different world:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth…the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

The biblical view is a new heaven and a new earth, devoid of destruction, corruption, darkness, and decline. It is a place of remarkable beauty, crystal-bright rivers, and trees of life. A place of physical renewal. It is also a place of personal healing - by the very leaves of the tree of life - a metaphor for the power of the new environment. It is also a place of personal renewal. As the rest of Revelation and Isaiah the prophet describe, the new creation is a place of human flourishing, of great creative output where the finest of human culture is joyfully produced in worship of our great God and King (Rev 21:22-27). Even cultural renewal exists. The biblical vision of New Creation is altogether different from the future of Fahrenheit 451. New Creation is physical, cultural, and personal renewal not decline!

Now, perhaps you are thinking to yourself: "Wait a minute, where’s the doom and gloom of the apocalypse? What about Left Behind? I thought the Christian vision was a vision of destruction and the annihilation of the world." Turn or burn, right?

While Revelation and 2 Peter do depict a kind of purification of the present world, they do not present total annihilation. We are told that “heaven and earth pass away” and a new heaven and earth will appear, but this language does not imply complete consumption. In the Greek, the word "pass away" simply means to leave or depart, to remove from present existence. The word is used of Jesus leaving the presence of the Pharisees. When Jesus left, he didn’t dissolve; he just left. You might say that the current form of creation leaves the building…but it comes back for an encore with a new outfit. The word “new” used in Revelation means new in “nature or quality.” John does not select the word that means new in “origin or time.”

Biblical vision of the future is a renewed world not a consumed world. Creation is restored not replaced.

It is not like the world of The Matrix, an artificial replacement of a scorched heavens and earth. God doesn’t promise a reboot, to plug us into a fantasy after we die. It’s not even a changing of the light bulb of the universe. That's replacement. Rather, the Creator is wholly committed to a renewed heavens and earth! After all, it is the world he created and called good. It was made in, through, and for him. He delights in it. He loves his creation, so much that he is willing to die to rescue it. The biblical future is New Creation, and New Creation is physical, cultural, and personal renewal.

Why Do We Need New Creation?

So how do we fit in? Why should we want New Creation? What kind of world, what kind of future would you create if you could? A place of physical  beauty, cultural splendor, and human flourishing? A place of justice, peace, and joy, where there is no sorrow or suffering, where there is equal distribution of wealth, a clean environment, never-ending joy? The world God has prepared is the world we all really want, the world that, deep down, we really long for.

How do we get in on this renewal? It starts with being honest about our age, squaring up with how old we are. We’re a lot older than we want to admit, and by old I'm not referring to age per se but to state. We’re in slower, crankier, meaner, and much less attractive state than we'd like to admit. We’ve got to stop airbrushing ourselves. Living to impress others, trying to trick others that we’re actually not that old, we’re not that mean, we’re not that broken. Deep down we know we’re bent, but we’ve been trying to cover it up. We act like we’re young, not old, like we are full of innocence and life, not guilt and death. We’re quick to defend ourselves.

Last night I was merging onto the highway where two roads converged. Little did I know that there was a car speeding up behind me to try to get ahead. She comes flying up right next to me, trying to force me out, an inch at a time. Stop start, stop start. Finally, I looked over at her with disdain, an imploring kind of look like, “Come on, are you kidding me?”

She started motioning angrily, and I kind of just laughed and let her go ahead. I wanted to make excuses for laughing at her. I wanted to defend the pride and anger that swelled up in my heart, but were pushed down by superficial laughter. I wanted to act like I was innocent, had it together, unflappable, virtuous, “Christian.” I wanted to act as if I was new, renewed, full of love and kindness but I wasn’t. I was actually quite old on the inside, easily bothered, cranky, selfish, and mean. Certainly much less attractive than I’d like to admit. The string of excuses that came to mind were my airbrush. I was ready to put the best foot forward, while hiding the ugly one behind my back. See, there’s a part of us, no matter what our age, that is very, very old. Very grumpy. Very mean-spirited. Very selfish. Very, well, sinful. We are out of sorts with who God wants us to be. The problem is that many of us try to close the gap by airbrush, by make-up, by working out. We try so desperately to impress God and others, but he sees right through us. He knows how old and broken we are, and how desperately we need to be renewed, forgiven, transformed.

Why do we need New Creation? Because we are old creation, old men and women living out our sinful oldness. In theological terms, we are fallen, with Adam and Eve and the whole human race, with human culture and all creation. Our world is shot through with its age, with the Fall. We are broken people living in a broken world. The earth groans under the weight of pollution, global warming and natural disaster. Two-thirds of the world lives on less than a dollar a day. Burma, North Africa, Afghanistan ravaged by war. Thousands live below the poverty line in our very own city. Culturally, we celebrate what is evil, false, and ugly instead of celebrating what is good, true and beautiful. Not always but often. The Cannes Film Festival praised The Anti-Christ, a film about rape; doctors perform millions of abortions a year; the government imprisoned innocent people at Guantanamo, and the list goes on.

But the evil, my friends, is not just “out there.” It is in here. In us.

We are more broken and bent that we dare admit, more sinful and at odds with our good Creator than we can imagine. We have trivialized him and his goodness, truth, and beauty. And because of this, we are under his judgment. We are in desperate need of his saving, renewing power. We all need forgiveness before a holy God. We cannot - no matter how many good deeds - make ourselves new. We are better off being honest about our old, decrepit, sinful nature.

Is the Biblical Future Just Another Utopia?

The biblical vision of the future is compelling, but how is it any different that a utopian novel? Isn't is just a positive reading of the future? Well, one of the unique things about the biblical vision is that it contains both dystopian and utopian visions in the same future. Dystopian novels and films point to a judgment at the end of time, an apocalyptic fall out—Terminator, The Road, Oryx and Crake, Fahrenheit 451, and Revelation 20.

The dystopian judgments occur at the end of history. The utopian paradise is also at the end of history—THX 1138, Brave New World, The Island, and Revelation. Judgment and salvation, dystopia and utopia happen at the end of history, the end of time. But when it comes to the Bible, there's a twist on the timing of dystopia and utopia. Unlike any other worldview, film or novel, the biblical dystopia and utopia converge in the present, not just in the future. How? In Christianity, Judgment Day is rolled back into history at the Cross, where a terrible, future judgment falls in the present--the suffering and death of God. Unexpectedly, the judgment falls on the undeserving God, not on deserving sinners. Jesus Christ enters the middle of history and dies our death, bears our sin, endures our punishment, and receives our judgment.

The gospels tell us that when God’s judgment fell on Jesus, the earth shook, the sky grew black, and rocks split open, the temple curtain was ripped, and Jesus died, crucified for us. When does judgment happen in the biblical story? For those who cling to Christ by faith, it happens in the middle of history, it happens to Jesus not us so that we can be set free. What about new creation? When does that happen? Contrary to the utopias, in Christianity, not only is Judgment Day rolled back to the present but Resurrection Day is rolled back into the middle of history, at the empty tomb. Jesus arises from the grave defeating sin, death and evil in order to make all things new. New Creation of the future breaks into the present, not to deserving but to the undeserving. Those who believe the future now become new creation in Christ, a new humanity.

The authors of the New Testament repeatedly tell us that Jesus is the firstborn from the dead (Col 1:18; Rev 1:5) and that those who confess their sin, are honest about their age, and trust Jesus for their salvation are spiritually raised from the dead. In Christ, New Creation is now. How do we get it? Jesus said:

I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. 

Do you believe this? Resurrection is now and not yet by faith in Christ. Paul writes:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

In the gospel, dystopia and utopia converge in the middle of history on Jesus, who dies our death and gives us his life. The guilty are forgiven. The old become new. At the end of Fahrenheit 451, the city is bombed into oblivion. Montag, a former book-burning fireman, has joined a clan of book-reading rebels. They are silent because there is everything to think about and much to remember. Montag begins to search his mind for a word of hope gathered from his newfound reading. He lands on this: “on either side of the river there was a tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, yielded her fruit every month; And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.” He hopes in New Creation.

The grand news of the gospel, of New Creation, is that we don’t have to wait until the end of history. By faith in Jesus, the endtime Judgment and Resurrection are rolled back to the middle of history and fall on Jesus so that we do not have to die his death but get to live his life. The healing of the nations is now for those who hope in Jesus.

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Jonathan Dodson (M.Div, Th.M) is happy husband to Robie, and proud father to Owen, Ellie & Rosamund. He is also the lead pastor of Austin City Life church and directional leader for PlantR and Gospel Centered Discipleship.com. Jonathan is also the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship (Crossway, 2012). He blogs at jonathandodson.org, enjoys listening to M. Ward, watching sci-fi, and following Jesus. Twitter @Jonathan_Dodson

Impressing the Gospel Through Questions

A friend once told me, “pastors answer questions that no one is asking.” While I disagree with his statement, my friend caused me to ponder the nature of questioning and answering. While all Christians, not only pastors, have the gospel “answer,” the issue at hand is one of questions. In a broken world perhaps people aren’t asking the right questions.

A few years ago I attended an apologetics seminar featuring a few well-known authors and speakers. During a Q&A panel discussion, one of the speakers stated “We mustn’t just answer questions. We must answer the person behind the questions.” This drastically changed my thinking in regard to evangelism and discipleship. We mustn’t seek to only provide better answers, but to encourage the asking of better questions. Questions reveal something about the person questioning and the person answering.

A Culture of Questioning

In a postmodern society, the church has seen a backlash against doctrinal absolutes to the point that questioning everything has become the norm. Everyone has questions. Everyone seeks answers. While questions aren’t in themselves dangerous, how we answer them can be.

Safe Questions, Safe Answers

Some questions prompted by fear are answered by surface-level statements whose goal is self-preservation. While the answers may be factual and true, there is no transparency or vulnerability. In some church circles these have been called “Sunday school answers,” keeping discussion on topics rather than getting to the heart behind the question.

Safe Questions, Dangerous Answers

Some questions are prompted by ignorance. In these conversations, one may be quick to speak an answer, but that answer is not always wise. At best this is a “missing the forest for the trees” scenario.

Dangerous Questions, Safe Answers

Some questions are prompted by pride. These questions are asked so the questioner can answer themselves. Though Scripture is frequently used, it is often misapplied. What’s at stake are idols and religious legalism.

Dangerous Questions, Dangerous Answers

Some questions are prompted by sin and rebellion. The question and answer are often the same, exposing the fallenness of humanity and expressing cultural and personally preferences.

Gospel Questions, Gospel Answers

Gospel-centered discipleship involves not only providing the answers, but reorienting the question itself, getting to the heart behind the question and applying the gospel. “Gospel questioning” is prompted by the good news, asking questions in faith and hope, seasoned with grace, honesty, and vulnerability. Questions are the groundwork for the gospel answer to take root and flourish.

A great example of “gospel questioning” is in Mark 10:17-31. This is a beautiful story of discipleship: an outsider trying to become an insider and a group of insiders learning the nature of the identity they’ve been called to as disciples. A rich man asks Jesus a question. Jesus answers with a question, spinning the disciples into questioning, all the while providing the answers in the interchange. Here we see three questions posed which inform us of the gospel in the immediate context, but also apply to us today.

The Rich Man: “What must I do?” (17)

Behind this question is a man characterized by wealth, knowledge, and good works. The rich man asks a good question – one that we all ask. We answer by our religion, spirituality, and good works.

Jesus: “Why do you call me good?” (18)

The man addresses Jesus as “good teacher” – a seemingly prideful comparison of being on par with the Savior in light of his telling of keeping all the commandments. Jesus responds to the question with a question that draws out the motives and theology of the rich man. Is Jesus good because of what he can do for the man? Is the man addressing Jesus as an equal who’s religious lifestyle is “good” as well?

The Disciples: “Who can be saved?” (26)

The disciples ask a question that has personal and missional implications. “Who can be saved?” as if to say, “Look what we’ve done – We’ve left everything to follow you – what about us?”

Jesus impresses the gospel through questions, revealing the true motives of the human heart. The true issue is not the question itself, but the sin, idols, fear, and pride within the heart that prompts the questions. Here the pride and idols of the rich man are exposed. Likewise, the fear and pride of the disciples is addressed. One could imagine the ignorance of bystanders washing away in light of the revealing of Jesus’ goodness and the salvation he provides.

The Question Whose Answer Changes Everything

Mark 8:27-30 is the turning point of Mark’s gospel. Jesus asks, “who do people say that I am?” This question sets the stage to address cultural views and expectations, revealing the questions people are asking. Jesus not only gives the answer, but uses and question to bring about revelation of the gospel. Jesus asks his disciples, “who do you say that I am?” This question gets to the very heart of any fears and doubts that the disciples may have, evoking the faith and hope of the gospel. On behalf of the disciples Peter responds, “You are the Christ.”

This question is not only the once-for-all proclamation that all Christians cherish, affirming the identity of our Savior Jesus. This is an ongoing question we must continually ask to remind ourselves of the good news.

The Role of Questions in Gospel-Centered Discipleship

Impressing the gospel through questions has implications for both personal discipleship and leadership.

Personally, impress the gospel into your own heart by questioning the questions and objections prompted by sin, idols, pride, and fear. Invite others to question you as well. In the moments of combatting sin and idols, we must answer the gospel question Jesus poses: “Who do you say that I am?” Our response of faith or doubt will change everything – not only for eternity, but the moment-by-moment living in a broken world.

In discipleship, may we answer the person behind the question, tilling the very soil of the questions so that the gospel seed may be planted and flourish. May we answer questions well, and also encourage the asking of questions in light of the gospel. May we face the brokenness of humanity head-on and pry the human heart with questions.

Developing gospel questioning fosters humble reliance on Christ’s work, Scripture’s guidance, and the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. Likewise, gospel questioning develops ongoing rhythms of belief and repentance personally and relationally in community on mission.

What kind of questions are you asking? What kind of answers are you seeking? What kind of questions are you evoking? What kind of answers are you giving?

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Jeremy Carr (ThM, MDiv) is lead pastor and co-founding elder of the WELL in Augusta, GA. He has been a member of the Acts 29 network since 2007 and has written for the Resurgence. Jeremy is husband to Melody and father to Emaline, Jude, Sadie, and Nora. Twitter @thewelljeremy

How Jesus Made Disciples

"What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” - 2 Timothy 2:2

Many Christians and churches will never reproduce themselves. The result is that they take their faith and legacy with them to the grave. Nearly four thousand churches close every year in North America. Ed Stetzer estimates that 70% to 80% of all evangelical churches in the US have either stopped growing or are in decline! What does this mean? Simple: the church in North America is not reproducing. We need to become a reproducing disciple making movement once again.

The ultimate goal of discipleship is to reproduce disciples with the gospel through developing disciple making leaders and church planting. Reproduction ensures that a movement will live past its founding stages. The church was never intended to be an end in itself; rather it is called to reproduce and fulfill the Great Commission to make disciples. Reproduction is the goal of every living thing. We see this throughout the pages of the Bible. The Bible is full of reproductive language. God created humankind, animals, and plants to reproduce. Reproduction is also seen in the agricultural language that Jesus uses throughout the gospels.

Reproducing disciples is the result of selecting, training, and empowering leaders who will in turn reproduce themselves in others. This begins locally with the church and then can take place on a larger scale through reproduction of church plants regionally and internationally. You can be a part of a 21st century disciple making movement that can change our postmodern world for Christ.

Reproducing Disciples: A Few Good Men and Women

The most powerful paradigm for reproducing disciples is the discipleship methodology of Jesus. In The Master Plan of Evangelism, Robert Coleman tells us that Jesus’ plan of reproducing disciples, “was not with programs to reach the multitudes but with men whom the multitudes would follow...Men were to be His method of winning the world to God. The initial objective of Jesus' plan was to enlist men who could bear witness to His life and carry on His work after He returned to the Father." If we are to be like Jesus, we must invest our lives in faithful men and women who will reproduce themselves in others.

Robert Coleman’s Master Plan of Evangelism offers the following eightfold way Jesus trained the twelve disciples; selection, association, consecration, impartation, demonstration, delegation, supervision, and reproduction. In this section, I will summarize Coleman’s analysis of Jesus training of the twelve disciples in this section and apply it to reproducing disciples.

Selection

It all started when Jesus called a few men to follow him. Jesus did not choose everyone he met to be his disciples. He took very seriously the selection of men he trained. Rather than focusing on the multitude, he only chose twelve. The reason for his selectivity was intentional. He chose twelve men and a number of women to instruct and train. They would in time reproduce themselves in others. A few good men and women were Jesus’ master plan of reproducing disciples.

In a similar way, we must be selective in the people with whom we choose to disciple. We should look for people who are faithful, willing, and able to reproduce their discipleship in others. Disciple making does not require a degree or Bible college education; rather we should seek to find men and women who have a passion and a hunger to for Christ. Willingness to answer the call to follow Jesus is the only requirement to be a disciple of Jesus.

Association

Jesus was intimately involved in the lives of his disciples as they followed Him. His training method was spending time with His disciples. Coleman points out that Jesus had no formal training or education; He was His own school and curriculum. This is a radical concept for those of us who live in the 21st century. Whenever we find someone, who seems called into ministry we send them off to let someone else train them. The New Testament model of discipleship was homegrown, natural, and organic. Discipleship happens as men and women spend time with their spiritual mentor.

In a similar way, we should be in the lives of the people we are seeking to develop. We should schedule time with people who we want to disciple outside of normal church functions. We should schedule times to play, pray, and share a meal together with the people we are discipling. This means that discipleship will require something of us. Discipleship costs us something even for those of us who are called to disciple others. We must sacrifice our time, energy, and emotion in others if we are to fulfill the discipleship task of making disciples. I believe this is one of the number one reasons that churches don’t disciple anymore. It takes "too much" time.

Consecration

Jesus expected His followers to obey Him. He sought to create in His disciples a lifestyle of consecrated obedience. Discipleship is about a total consecration to the Lord. As disciples, we need to submit and obey God’s word and plan for our lives. However, many of us have trouble submitting. We live in an individualistic culture where people do not want anyone else telling us what to do. That is why submission and obedience to God is so hard as well as important. When we become obedient to God in every area of our lives, we will experience victorious Christian living. God can only use men and women who are willing to obey Him.

Impartation

Jesus gave himself away to His disciples by imparting to them everything that the Father had given Him. He gave Himself freely. He imparted not only Himself, but also spiritual truth about life and ministry. He taught them about the scriptures and the Holy Spirit. Just as Jesus imparted Himself to His disciples, we must seek to give ourselves to the men and women that we are called to serve. There is a transfer of godly wisdom and character when true discipleship takes place. As leaders, it is important for us to grasp that we have a spiritual responsibility to impart ourselves in others if we are going to make disciples.

Demonstration

Jesus demonstrated how the disciples should live the Christ centered life. One reason Jesus had such a lasting impact on His disciples is that He lived the message before them daily. He was the message and the method. By walking with Jesus, they saw how He lived His faith in the real world. He prayed before them. He fed the poor. He had compassion on the multitude. He healed the sick. In other words, He lived the life that He wanted to reproduce in His disciples. After Jesus' death and resurrection, He expected His disciples to say and do what He said and did.

It is important that we practice what we preach, because the people we are training will follow our life and example. It is not enough to preach the gospel, we have to practice it daily. Our personal walk with God is one of the most important factors in developing godly leaders. We will reproduce what we are. The most powerful message is a life lived for God. Make sure that the life you live is worthy for others to follow.

Delegation

Jesus assigned His disciples work. He developed His disciples by delegating ministry responsibilities to them. He sent His disciples out and gave them real ministry. Hands on experience was a vital part of Jesus' discipleship curriculum. It's funny that churches make people do things even Jesus did not do. Some churches make people go through a yearlong process before they can serve in any capacity in the church. Likewise, some people spend years in college and seminary with little if any real ministry involvement. Churches need to rethink delegating spiritual responsibility to people, especially new believers. Is it any wonder our discipleship is often anemic? Sadly, most people think the pastor is supposed to do everything in the church. We must not forget the power of involving people in ministry.

Supervision

Supervision is important. Jesus supervised His disciples. Whenever they returned from a ministry trip, they would report to Him. This allowed a time for the disciples to reflect, review, and to receive instruction from Jesus. Supervision is an important part of leadership development, especially when dealing with new believers. We want to delegate and empower people to act, but we also need to help supervise them to make sure they stay on track. Many times people will get into trouble without proper supervision. Supervision is an art. On the one hand, if we are not careful, we can micro-manage people. On the other hand, we can be so loose that we don’t supervise people at all.

Reproduction

Jesus expected His disciples to reproduce His likeness in others. He imparted His message and mission to His disciples so that they would reproduce themselves in others and make disciples of all nations. The Great Commission implies that the followers of Jesus will reproduce themselves and “Make disciples.” Reproduction is how the Christian movement was born.

Today, what has become a 2.1 billion-member movement started with only twelve disciples. I want to return to the analogy of the Vine in John 15:1-17. The purpose of the Vine (Jesus) and the branches (us) is to bear fruit. Christians are to work for and expect a harvest (Matthew 9:37-38; Luke 10:2). Let us commit our lives and our churches to reproducing ourselves in others in order to make disciples of our communities and our world.

We need to rediscover the reproductive nature of the church. We are called to select, train, and send missional disciples of Christ out into the world who will be able repeat the process of discipleship. What we need in our day is an organic disciple making movement that will train and send men and women to be reproducing disciples of Christ.

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Dr. Winfield Bevins serves as lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, which he founded in 2005.  His life’s passion in ministry is discipleship and helping start new churches. He lives in the beautiful beach community of the Outer Banks with his wife Kay and two daughters where he loves to surf and spend time at the beach with his family and friends. Twitter: @winfieldbevins

Raising Gospel Centered Children

When Jesus instructs us to go out and make disciples of all nations, that includes our children—our closest disciples. Of course, discipleship should not end in the home, but our families are our most naturally-authentic relationships. Everyday, the gospel compels us to ask: How are we discipling our children? More importantly, how should we be discipling them? There is a tendency (sometimes unknowingly) for parents to fall into child-centered discipleship. This could happen for many reasons, even from a well-meaning desire to see our children become Christians. However, what we may fail to grasp is that we should be applying the gospel daily even to the relationships with our children. They don't need something else; they need the same thing we all need—they need Jesus. If we stop to consider the motivations of our hearts—what is driving us as parents—we can gain important insight into the discipleship of our children. The driver behind gospel-centered discipleship is the glory of Christ. The driver behind child-centered discipleship is the glory of our children, and by extension, our own glory. In order to understand my own motives, I've learned to ask myself: Do I want my children to know God, to rest in the person and work of Christ, to have their many, many sins washed in the blood of the Lamb, and to eternally glorify Him? Or rather do I want my children to be “good,” to scrupulously avoid sin and follow biblical injunctions, to avoid bad consequences in this life? Obviously, these are not mutually exclusive, but where does Christ ask us to put our emphasis? My answers to these questions revealed some very selfish desires. I have lived with fear and anxiety over my children's sins, and I've come to realize what was in my heart. I was not offended by their sins for the sake of God's reputation, nor was I offended because sin is rebellion and an affront to the person of Christ himself. No, I feared sin in my children's lives because I cared more about all the earthly consequences of sin. For example, a little over eight years ago, I grabbed hold of Deuteronomy 6 and started rattling it like a sword in a battle cry for homeschooling. I had convinced myself that this was the only type of schooling capable of producing godly children. At the heart of my child-centered thinking, was the belief that I, as a parent—not Christ, as our Lord—must do everything to protect my children from the world and sin.

By pure grace, almost two years ago, I was convicted that I had valued my children's well-being more than I had valued Jesus. I trembled at the realization that the comfort and safety (even the spiritual safety) of my children, had become more important to me than the person of Christ. Their “godliness” was a higher priority in my own life than was Christ’s glory. For all my talk about holy living, I was unwilling to follow Abraham’s spiritual example. I had denied Christ’s call to forsake all else and follow Him. Instead, I had attempted to supplant the Holy Spirt, to save and sanctify my children by my good works. This is the sad truth of child-centered discipleship—at its core it is self-centered legalism, even rebellion.

Because we are our children's parents and earthly authority (while they are young) we can slip into the mindset that their salvation and sanctification depends on us. This slip then leads to mentoring and training that is child-centered. This is false. The Holy Spirit is responsible for conviction of sin and bringing people to salvation. That includes the little people in our homes. When we search out the Spirit, when we talk about Him and hold Him up before our children, we are modeling a life of Spirit-dependence for our children. This is training them to walk in step with the Sprit.

However, when we put our children, their needs (physical, spiritual or otherwise), their goals (or ours) before Christ, when we lead them without relying on the Spirit (by relying on ourselves to fulfill our children), we are being false teachers at worst and poor disciple-makers at best. It can't be all about them; it has to be all about Jesus. This is hard and can be a real blind spot for parents because we are instructed in Scriptures to bring up our children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). But our wayward hearts can pervert even a verse like that by setting our efforts to secure our children's spiritual well being above all else. Make no mistake, our efforts are very important, but our efforts do not have power to save and transform. Nothing that we do will ever eclipse the power and grace of Jesus.

How do we set a good example of a disciple before the eyes of our children so they can emulate us? It's not just about making Jesus our priority. It's about showing our children that our identity is in Christ. From our identity in Christ, our identity as parents will naturally flow. Along with this we must model a life of reliance on the Holy Spirit. Our children need to hear us say: “I prayed for the Lord to fill you with his Holy Spirit today.” Or, “I prayed for the Spirit to give you wisdom when you met with your teacher.”

How can we get there? The Holy Spirit often prompts us to take a hard look at the things that excite us. Our children pick up on our excitement and our passions. If getting through today's installment from the church family worship book takes precedence over having compassion on a red-eyed child who is up past his or her bedtime, our children will begin to sense that checking off a box on our godly to-do list is more important than loving our neighbor.

D.A. Carson says this extraordinarily well in the context of the student/teacher relationship:

Recognize that students do not learn everything you teach them. They certainly do not learn everything I teach them! What do they learn? They learn what I am excited about; they learn what I emphasize, what I return to again and again; they learn what organizes the rest of my thoughts. So if I happily presuppose the gospel but rarely articulate it and am never excited about it, while effervescing frequently about, say, ecclesiology or textual criticism, my students may conclude that the most important thing to me is ecclesiology or textual criticism. They may pick up my assumption of the gospel; alternatively, they may even distance themselves from the gospel; but what they will almost certainly do is place at the center of their thought ecclesiology or textual criticism, thereby wittingly or unwittingly marginalizing the gospel.

My husband and I saw this same mistranslation happen with our children when we were not deliberate about the gospel. Even worse than merely de-emphasizing the gospel, we started realizing that our children had become judgmental little scoffers. Why? Because we were so busy comparing and contrasting our education, parenting, and worship style choices with those of other parents that we had marginalized the gospel before our kids. We were way more excited about high church liturgy, classical education, “courtship,” family worship times, you name it. We actually believed they were signs of spiritual maturity. The only problem was, we had neglected the one and only thing that could ever give our children and us the power and strength for real spiritual maturity—the gospel.

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Luma Simms (@lumasimms) is a wife and mother of five delightful children between the ages of 1 and 18. She studied physics and law before Christ led her to become a writer, blogger, and Bible study teacher. Her book Gospel Amnesia is forthcoming on GCD Press. She blogs regularly at Gospel Grace.

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For more resources on family worship check-out Winfield Bevin's A Beginner's Guide to Family Worship.

Gospel Hospitality

Hospitality is a forgotten art. It also has a lost biblical history. We can recover the art of hospitality by understanding what it is and discerning how the gospel changes our notions of hospitality. In general, hospitality is about treating strangers as equals by creating space for them to be protected, provided for, and taken care of, followed by assisting and guiding them to their next destination. Let's see how this holds up to scripture. The Origin of Hospitality

There is a lot of history to consider in understanding the act or art of hospitality, but it all goes back to the beginning. In Genesis 1-2, we discern God’s first hospitable act. Consider what God did when he created the world and the garden of Eden for humanity to live in it. He gave Adam and Eve all they needed to enjoy life restfully while doing the work He created them for. He gave them space to exist, to enjoy creation, and to enjoy each other and fellowship with Him. They were given both the space and the capability to create, to work, and to exercise authority, with all the resources necessary they needed.

Israel: God's Hospitable People

Consider God’s commands to His people regarding hospitality to strangers (Lev 19:9-10, 33-34; Deut 10:18-19). Through Abraham and Sarah, God created a new nation - a People blessed to be a blessing to all nations. He gave them all the resources and capabilities to exercise hospitality to strangers, orphans, and widows. Similar to the Garden experience, Israel offered His people a place of refuge where others could rest and receive all they needed, enabling them to do what God had created them to do. However, now this rest came in the midst of a broken, sinful world.

On the flip side, think of the number of occasions where Israel found itself as the strangers among a host people. In some cases they found a hospitable reception (Egypt with Joseph in charge; the spies and Rahab). In other cases they found themselves treated like enemies or slaves (Slavery in Egypt; Babylonian Captivity). God had called them to be hospitable, yet they often failed to do so. After, receiving hospitality this must have become clearer to them.

God allows us to experience grace as recipients so that we might be distributors of grace to others.

God allows us to experience grace as recipients so that we might be distributors of grace to others. Hospitality toward Israel was a clear example of God’s gracious gift, once again, and should have motivated generous hospitality. Unfortunately, Israel failed to enter God's rest because of their unbelief and disobedience (Heb 4). So, they not only failed to rest in the work of God, but also failed to offer that rest to other nations. In all their hospitable failures, they needed one who would fully rest in God in order to become an enduring place of refuge for others.

Rethinking Hospitality with Jesus

Jesus entered into a culture shaped by a variety of world views (The Imperial Cult, Jewish Monotheism, and Hellenistic Philosophy to name a few). In this culture, the concept of hospitality was rooted in several different traditions. First, the idea of taking in a hostile stranger or enemy and treating him as you would yourself. Second, the Greek practice of hospitality in which a stranger passing outside a Greek house would be invited inside the house by the family. The host washed the stranger's feet and offered him/her food and wine. Only after the stranger was feeling comfortable, could the host ask his or her name. This practice stemmed from the thought that the gods mingled among men, and if you played a poor host to a deity, you would incur the wrath of a god.

A third shaping force in the concept of hospitality in Jesus’ day was the Hebrew understanding (as briefly considered in the passages above and demonstrated also in the story of Lot and the angels– Genesis 19). Jesus comes into this cultural context and calls the weary to himself, feeds the hungry, mends the broken, eats with sinners and tax collectors, washes his disciples' feet...and ultimately gives his life to cleanse us from sin, deal with our unbelief and provide a way and place for us to rest. Jesus lives, loves, obeys, works, dies, and rises again so that we might find a place of rest, renewal and recreation. He offers us rest in order to send us on our way to be about God's purposes - rescued to offer rest. Jesus saved us to be His Hospitable People!

3 Ways the Church Can be Hospitable

In light of the Gospel, we might define hospitality as the creation of a space that allows people to BE themselves, to BECOME renewed, and to DO the works God has saved them for. When we properly exercise hospitality, we welcome people to be themselves in the warmth of the light of Christ, to become renewed by being changed by the work of Christ, and to do works we have been created for in Christ.

To Be Rested

In a broken world, marred and diseased by the effects of sin, people need the space to rest. This is why Jesus called people who were weary and heavy-laden to come to him. He would give them rest for their weary souls. Jesus calls us to rest in His work on our behalf so we can be a people at rest who provide sanctuaries of rest for others.

Before the Fall, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. God had created a place and made space for them to be themselves without covering or facades. If we are in Christ, we are clothed with His righteousness. We don’t need to cover up or hide. One of the ways we create space for people to experience and come to understand the gospel is by creating space for people to reveal their true self and see that they are loved regardless of the “wrinkles and scars” of sin. How do we create space for people to be their true self?

To Become Renewed

The gospel isn’t only about loving and forgiving sinners. It is also about restoring broken and marred people into healed and whole people who grow up to become imitators of Jesus Christ – restored image bearers of God. Jesus created space for people to be and to become (Think of Mary, Peter, Thomas, the woman at the well, the blind man, the paralyzed). Gospel hospitality implies creating space for people to be known, to be real, to be loved, and ultimately to be led with the Holy Spirit’s help to healing and wholeness through the work and person of Jesus Christ. How do we create space for people to be led toward healing and wholeness?

To Do Works

The gospel moves from who God is and what Christ has done on our behalf into the works He created us to do (See Ephesians 2:8-10).

This is the result of Jesus’ gospel hospitality. He got on the same level with his enemy – becoming human. He became our servant – to the point of death. He spent all that He had in order to clean us up – by becoming our sin and giving us His righteousness (2 Cor 5:21). Then He sent us His Spirit to empower us to do good works for His sake so others could be welcomed in to the family. When we engage in gospel hospitality, we are regularly asking ourselves this question:

How do we create space for the stranger to be rested, restored, healed, and prepared in Jesus Christ for the work God has called them to?

Will you join God's rich history of providing rest in order to extend rest? Remember, everything he has called you to do he has already done for you in Christ Jesus. You have everything you need to offer gospel hospitality to the strangers, friends, and even enemies around you.

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Jeff Vanderstelt and his wife, Jayne, have three children: Haylee, Caleb and Maggie. He is a pastor at Soma Communities in Tacoma, WA and a trainer for church planters. He blogs here. Twitter @JeffVanderstelt

Plant the Gospel, Plant Churches

As I write this article, the core team for our new church has been gathering for a grand total of three weeks. We currently have about twenty people on the team and several children. We are filled with excitement, joy, anticipation, and nervousness. I have served as an itinerant evangelist, a camp pastor, a succession pastor, and (still am) a seminary professor. But I have never planted a church. Where should I begin? The answer is, of course, the Bible. But does the Bible actually say anything about church planting? I often hear people, even my friends, say things like, “Church planting is not in the Bible” or, “Jesus never told us to plant churches.” To which I say, “Are you sure about that?”

Standing on the shoulders of wise missiologists, let me point out two New Testament convictions and one New Testament example that provide a basic biblical understanding of church planting. The biblical foundations for church planting are not limited to these, but these three particular items are essential and memorable.

Two New Testament Convictions 

First, the Great Commission points to church planting. This doesn’t mean that Jesus gave us a command to “plant churches” explicitly. Admittedly, you will look in vain to find such a command. However, Jesus told us to “make disciples of all nations” by “baptizing them” and “teaching them.” What do you call making of disciples by baptizing and teaching them? I call this incorporating them into the life of a church.

In my view, baptism is an ordinance of the church, which serves as a public profession of faith for believers. It identifies them with the body of Christ. Therefore, Christ’s orders in the Great Commission seem to have the church in view.

After Peter preached on the Day of Pentecost, about 3,000 were converted, and then baptized. Immediately following this, we read about these believers gathering in Acts 2:42-47 for worship in this new church. These baptized believers gathered for worship and to, among other things, teach all that Jesus commanded. I would argue, then, that the Great Commission points to the idea of church planting – not church planting with a building, a budget, and a website – but church planting in terms of identifying new believers in baptism and equipping new believers through sound teaching.

Another way to say this is that we are called to “plant the Gospel” and then see that healthy churches are developed. This is our goal at Imago Dei Church. We want to plant the Gospel in Raleigh. Even though Raleigh is in the South, it is, at best, 16% evangelical, and is currently one of the fastest growing metro areas in the nation. There are people studying in RDU from all over the world, in an area that boasts more "Ph.D.’s per capita" than anywhere in the nation. We want to plant the Gospel in this influential city, and then make disciples through the local church.

Second, Paul’s basic ministry methodology was urban church planting. Again, the goal was “plant the Gospel first, then help the church get established,” but nevertheless, it was a church planting movement. In Acts, we find Paul preaching the Gospel in major cities, then establishing the church in which elders were appointed for the purpose of spiritual growth and health. Many of these new congregations are described for us in the New Testament letters. In fact, the New Testament is basically a collection of new church plants.

Certainly, there are practical reasons to plant churches today. Around the world, more people are moving to urban centers, filled with throngs of people and few churches. The ethnic diversity of America is growing, also, which calls for new churches. In some unreached places, various people groups have little or no biblical church. These are all important notes to consider, which add weight to these two New Testament principles. Not only do we have biblical reasons for planting new congregations, but we also have a context in which we need to apply them urgently. People need the gospel and a church in which to belong.

A New Testament Example: The Church in Philippi 

Consider the church in Philippi (Acts 16:6-40). Paul, in response to the Spirit’s call, plants the first church on European soil! How did it happen? Again, the same pattern: plant the Gospel; plant the church. In joyful sacrifice, Paul reaches three different types of people.

He first goes to a place of prayer where a lady named Lydia is converted and baptized. She then invites Paul and the missionaries to her home. Later, she apparently allowed her home to become the gathering place (new church) for the entire group of believers in Philippi (v. 40). Next, Paul encounters a fortune telling slave girl who is delivered from an evil spirit. Finally, there is a jailer who is present when Paul and Silas are put into prison. Here we have three different classes of people: Lydia (wealthy), the slave girl (poor), and a jailer (middle class?). We have three different avenues for reaching them: Lydia (with teaching at a religious gathering), Slave Girl (through deeds of mercy), and a Jailor (through example). They also represent three different nationalities: Lydia (Asian); Slave-Girl (Native Greek); Jailer (Roman). Moreover, each had different spiritual backgrounds: Lydia (Religious); Slave-Girl (spiritual turmoil), and a Jailer (indifferent?). Paul faithfully ministers the good news in the city to various types of people, and as a result, the first church in Europe - probably meeting in Lydia’s house - is formed (v. 40).

About ten years later, Paul writes to the Philippian church from a Roman prison. His epistle to the Philippians radiates with joy. They were his partners, his brothers and sisters. The apostle continued to labor for “their progress and joy in the faith” (Phil. 1:25).

In response to the Great Commission, and in light of the missionary methods of Paul, let’s plant the gospel all over the world; and let's plant healthy churches for the glory of Christ and the progress and joy of all peoples.

I’m indebted to Tim Keller’s Church Planter Manual for the outline of this article. Other helpful resources include Ed Stetzer, Planting Missional Churches.

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Tony Merida serves as the Lead Pastor of Imago Dei Church, Raleigh, NC and as the Associate Professor of Preaching at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is married to Kimberly, with whom he has five children. Tony is the co-author of Orphanology and author of Faithful Preaching. He travels and speaks all over the world at various events, especially pastor’s conferences, orphan care events, and youth/college conferences. Twitter @tonymerida

What to Do With Prayerlessness

Prayer. Often the word triggers guilt. For some, it sparks warmth, and for others, nothing. No warmth, no guilt. Flat. It’s a vaporous word that appears and vanishes without meaning. Guilty Prayer

Prayer is one of the most prominent themes in Scripture (occurring several hundred times), yet it is one of the most neglected practices in the church. Why the chasm between prominence and practice?

Well, if guilt springs to mind when we think of prayer, why should we let prayer come to mind? Keep the guilt at bay. Fend it off. We respond to guilt in two main ways: Action, to assuage our conscience, or inaction, to deny guilt’s entry into our conscience. Make up for the guilt or try to make off without it.

We might guiltily pray, filling journals and prayers with endless words. Or we might try to ignore it. If we’re prone to making up for failure to pray, our reasoning might go something like: “I’d like to pray (not true), but I’ve got so much to do today.” We ignore prayer (inaction), in order to focus on something that doesn’t produce guilt—like work or service (action)—in hope that guilt will go away. I’ve tried both.

I used to feel guilty when I didn’t pray. If I didn’t make it through my prayer list or spend half an hour in solitary prayer, I’d feel guilty for not praying more.

There is a guilt that's from God and a guilt that isn’t. Guilt 1 is associated with shame. Shame defines you by your guilt. You're an utter failure, a spiritual sloth. Guilt 2 is associated with conviction. Conviction defines you by your relationship with Christ. It calls you to be who you truly are in Christ. It appeals to the deep longings of the Spirit, who stirs us to pray (1 Cor 2; Rom 8; Jude 1). Guilt 1 presses us down. Guilt 2 lifts us up. Guilt 1 says you'll never pray enough. Guilt 2 says Christ is praying for you right now, join him! Shame drives us into a corner; conviction drives us to Christ.

Somewhere along the way, I was liberated from prayer-by-shame. Part of this liberty came when I realized that God doesn’t relate to me based on guilt but based on grace. Grace reminds me that when I was guilty of deep distrust in God and his promises, Christ died and kept God’s promises to absorb my guilt, so now I have every reason to trust. Grace reminds me that God relates to me based on what Jesus has done, not on what I have not done.

Why Did Jesus Pray?

Jesus prayed—a lot. This is weird when you consider the fact that he is God, until we begin to understand prayer. When prayer becomes more concrete, we become more prayerful.

Why did Jesus pray? Jesus prayed for God to rescue people: disciples, enemies, and sinners. He taught his disciples to do the same (Luke 6:28; 10:2). Jesus also prayed because he was incredibly dependent on the Father: “The Son can do nothing on his own accord” (John 5:19). “I can do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me” (John 8:28). In the words of Paul Miller, “Jesus was the most dependent human that ever lived.” Jesus prayed because he knew how dependent he was - and how dependent we are - on the grace of our heavenly Father. Why should we pray? Because we are incredibly dependent on the Father and because we want God to rescue people.

Dependence-driven prayer isn’t a sign of weakness, per se, but a sign of love. Jesus prayed because he loved his creation and his Father. When I read Jesus’ prayer recorded in John 17, I can feel the warmth licking off the page. Jesus didn’t address him as “God” but as “Father.” Prayer wasn’t an exercise in guilt removal; it was a communication of warmth. If you read John 17, you can feel Jesus’ longing to be with his Father “in glory” once again.

Because Jesus loves the Father, he does God's will by sharing the words of eternal life with his disciples. Sensing the profound satisfaction that eternal life will bring them, Jesus says: “Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one” (11). Jesus prays that we would join in his oneness with the Father, that we would know their love and warmth. He elaborates (was this necessary?): “I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me” (23). Jesus prayed because he loved being with the Father, and he prays for us because he wants us to enjoy being with the Father. Prayer is an expression of love for the Father and for one another.

Drawing Near to God

In the words of James, prayer is “drawing near to God” (4:8). Abraham Kuyper clarifies love for God as drawing near to God when he writes: “To have love for God is a different and a much weaker thing than to be able to say:’ I love God.’” Many of us “have love for God” but have trouble saying, with sincere conviction, “I love God.” We live with what we love. If we love God, we will live with him in prayer. If we love entertainment, we will live with it in prayerlessness. May I be so bold as to say that our mornings and evenings are marked by what we love? If we lay down to Netflix and rise up to Internet, could it be that we love distraction more than we love God? Perhaps, in an unconscious way, we drift to entertainment because it distracts us from guilt. Guilt will drive you into a corner, but it will not drive you to Christ.

Prayer is about love not about lists. It is about drawing near to God, not about impressing God. It is about enjoying his grace not enduring guilt. In fact, our genuine guilt for loving something altogether more than we love the Father is gone in Christ. God so loved us that he sent his only Son to be cut off in death so that we might be wonderfully united with him in life. Prayer is a response to the Father and the Son; it is a warm reaction to what they have together done for us. Prayer is communion with God, a cementing of souls together in a common delight, in this case, a delight in God and his grace towards us in Christ. It begins and continues with honest words about our loveless lives, our guilt-ridden approaches to prayer, and a shameless embrace of God’s reckless love and grace.

Respond to his love, even now. Turn and receive his grace. Don’t let your guilt drive you into a corner but to Christ. As you receive his love and grace, respond by saying: “I love you God.” Then, you have prayed.

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Jonathan Dodson (M.Div, Th.M) is happy husband to Robie, and proud father to Owen, Ellie & Rosamund. He is also the lead pastor of Austin City Life church and directional leader for PlantR and Gospel Centered Discipleship.com. Jonathan is also the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship (Crossway, 2012). He blogs at jonathandodson.org, enjoys listening to M. Ward, watching sci-fi, and following Jesus. Twitter @Jonathan_Dodson

What is Gospel Centered Ministry?

The theological foundation of the church is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Churches fall into error whenever they move away from the gospel as their foundation. Alan Hirsch reminds us that, “Discipleship, becoming like Jesus our Lord and Founder, lies at the epicenter of the church’s task. It means that Christology must define all that we do and say...It will mean taking the Gospels seriously as the primary texts that define us.” Therefore, the gospel of Jesus Christ that saves individuals is also the gospel that grows individuals through discipleship in the church. Man-Centered Ministry

One of the major problems in many churches is bad ecclesiology and a man-centered view of ministry. The recent development of trends in North America such as mega-churches, seeker churches, and emerging churches has brought the issue of ecclesiology to the forefront of debate/discussion for church leaders. Many churches in North American have a pragmatic approach to ecclesiology that focuses on church growth more than church health and on cultural accommodation rather than biblical faithfulness.

The result is that many churches produce consumers and not radical disciples of Jesus Christ. Contemporary churches are being shaped more by contemporary trends than by the biblical ecclesiology. Some churches have either adopted a hierarchal structure that resembles a corporate business structure or they simply have no church structure at all. The truth is that church structure is extremely important for the overall health of a local church and the discipleship process.

Understanding the Gospel

Discipleship begins with understanding the gospel. Many Christians have a watered down, man-centered version of the gospel. The result of not having a solid grasp on the gospel is a dysfunctional and fragmented faith. C.J. Mahaney warns that three things result when we move away from the gospel: legalism, condemnation, and subjectivism.[i] There is a need for a clear understanding and a rediscovery of the gospel in the 21st century. Jerry Bridges writes, “The gospel is not the most important message in history; it is the only essential message in all of history. Yet we allow thousands of professing Christians to live their entire lives without clearly understanding it and experience the joy of living their lives by it.”[ii]

What is the gospel?

The gospel is the declaration of the good news that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died for our sins on the cross of cavalry. Simply put, there is no gospel without the sinless life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Tim Keller beautifully describes the gospel as, “The person and work of Jesus Christ, God fully accomplishes salvation for us, rescuing us from judgment for sin into fellowship with him, and then restores the creation in which we can enjoy our new life together with him forever.” [iii]

Doctrines of Grace

To be gospel-centered requires that one knows the doctrines of grace. Men like Martin Luther and John Calvin fought to bring a reformation to the church that would put faith back into the hands of the people. Arising out of the period of the Protestant Reformation were five foundations which summarized in part what the Reformers were trying to do. These banners were known as the "Five Solas" (Latin for 'only' or 'alone') of the Reformation: the authority of scripture, salvation in Christ alone, by Grace alone, through faith alone, and to God Alone Be Glory. These five solas of the faith are as important now as they were then.[iv]

A gospel-centered view of salvation is completely Christocentric. Christianity begins and ends with Jesus Christ. The word Christian literally means “Christ-like.” Therefore, a proper Christology is the place to start if we are really going to talk about salvation. Gospel-centered theology distinguishes between man-centered and God-centered views of salvation.

Salvation involves the redemption of the whole person and is freely offered to all who repent of their sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. By His blood, Jesus has obtained eternal redemption for every believer. We are “saved by grace through faith, not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Therefore, salvation is the work of God from beginning to end. Salvation is wholly dependent upon the work of God's grace. God credits His righteousness to those who put their faith in Christ alone for their salvation, thereby justifying them in His sight.

Applying the Gospel

The gospel has implications for every Christian believer that reach far beyond salvation. Christians should live gospel-centered lives. Believers are saved by the gospel and called to live by the gospel. The gospel is for all of life. Not only should every Christian have a clear understanding of the gospel, but we should also apply it to every area of our lives.

The gospel is to be applied to every area of thinking, feeling, relating, working, and behaving.[v] Christians must never move beyond the gospel. C.J. Mahaney writes that believers should memorize the gospel, pray the gospel, sing the gospel, review how the gospel has changed our lives, and finally we should continually study the gospel.[vi] This is the reason why the gospel is the foundation for discipleship.

Gospel-Centered Ministry

There is an important connection between the gospel, ministry, and discipleship. Our theology has a direct effect on our ministry and discipleship. In many ways, our discipleship is the fruit of our theology. Sadly, many church leaders use church growth principles to add people to the church; however, only the gospel can grow people into disciples of Jesus Christ.

In conclusion, a Gospel-centered church does not only preach the gospel. The gospel is not an addition to our ministry or even a beginning point; rather, the gospel must saturate every part of our church’s life. Each stage of our discipleship process should also be gospel-centered. From assimilation, to preaching and teaching, to counseling, to leadership development, the gospel must be central. Even our worship should be gospel-centered.

The church should reach lost people with the gospel through community outreaches, personal evangelism, and missional living. The church should develop and grow disciples with the gospel through small groups, Bible study, service, and the teaching of spiritual disciplines. It should seek to reproduce disciples grounded in the gospel through leadership development and the mentoring of godly men who will become elders and deacons. Let the gospel be the heart of your church from beginning to end.

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[i] C.J. Mahaney, The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing. Sisters, OR: Multnoma Books, 2002. 23.

[ii] Jerry Bridges, The Discipline of Grace. Colorado Springs, CO: Nav Press, 1994. 46.

[iii] Tim Keller, “The Gospel in All Its Forms.” Leadership Journal. Spring, 2008.

[iv] Micheal Horton, Putting Amazing Back into Grace: Who Does What in Salvation? Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1994. See introduction.

[v] Tim Keller, “The Centrality of the Gospel.” www.redeemer2.com/resources/papers/centrality.pdf.

[vi] C.J. Mahaney, The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing. Sisters, OR: Multnoma Books, 2002. See 53-71.

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Dr. Winfield Bevins serves as lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, which he founded in 2005.  His life’s passion in ministry is discipleship and helping start new churches. He lives in the beautiful beach community of the Outer Banks with his wife Kay and two daughters where he loves to surf and spend time at the beach with his family and friends. Twitter: @winfieldbevins

5 Ways to Keep Church Discipline from Seeming Weird

Recently, the subject of church discipline has hit the radar in many circles due to some high profile controversies and scandals.  The way some churches appear to poorly exercise church discipline is as distressing as the way many Christians reacted to the concept. There has been a collective incredulity about church discipline as some kind of “strange fire” in the evangelical world. I can’t help but think that this aversion is partly because, as God has built his church, his church leaders have not always kept up with what makes a church a church. So even to mention the idea of a church disciplining its members strikes tenderhearted and undereducated Christians as weird, mean, and legalistic. How do we work at keeping church discipline from seeming weird? Here are 5 ways:

1. Make disciples.

Many local churches have simply becoming keepers of a fish tank. A surface level of fellowship is often in place, but the central mission of the church - to make disciples - has been neglected. Instead, churches are structured around providing religious goods and services, offering education or even entertainment options for their congregational consumers. People aren’t being trained in the context of ongoing disciple relationships. But this largely what “church discipline” is - training.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. Matthew 18:15 

In discipling relationships, we are always disciplining one another, not chiefly or only in the fight against sin but largely in our encouragement of each other, edifying one another, teaching one another, and sharing one another’s burdens. In short, disciples know each other. And so Matthew 18:15 might be happening all the time, perhaps weekly within loving relationships where there is no imminent danger of somebody being kicked out of the church but rather a constant iron sharpening of iron.

In churches with healthy discipleship cultures, church discipline is going on all the time in helpful, informal, everyday ways. When the more formal processes of church discipline become necessary, they are much less likely to be carried out too harshly or received strangely. The church will already have a positive training context for knowing that discipleship requires obedience, correction, perseverance, and mutual submission.

2. Create clarity about church membership.

In many churches, there is no church membership structure at all. But even in churches that maintain formal church membership, the expectations and processes are unclear. Prospective church members need to provide more info than merely their profession of faith, previous church membership, and the area of service they are interested in. They need to know what the body is promising to them and what they are promising the body.  If church membership is a Christ-centered covenant relationship - and it is - their needs to be a clear, mutual promise between all invested parties that their yes will be yes and their no will be no, so that there can be no surprise when someone’s yes to sin is received with a no from the church.

3. Teach the process.

I remember a church meeting once upon a time where elders were sharing the grounds for dismissal of the lead pastor. The evidence was extensive and serious, and there was plenty of testimony about the elders having for years seeking the pastor’s repentance and his getting counseling to no avail. One woman, visibly upset, shouted, “Where is the grace?!” The whole idea seemed weird and unchristian to her. She did not have the biblical framework to know that the last several years’ of seeking the pastor’s repentance was a tremendous act of grace, and that indeed, even his dismissal was a severe mercy, a last and regrettable resort in seeking to startle him into Godly sorrow over his sin. But churches aren’t accustomed to thinking of discipline that way; they think of grace as comfort and niceness. This is because we don’t teach them well.

For some, church discipline will always be objectionable because it seems outdated and unnecessary. But for many, their objection is a reflection of simply not knowing what the Bible teaches on the matter. If a church never broaches the subject until a church’s response to someone’s unrepentant sin must be made public, church discipline will always seem alien. “What are you doing bringing all this law into a place that should be filled with grace?” And the like. So we have to preach the relevant texts.

One word of caution, however: Some churches love teaching the process of church discipline out of all proportion; they love it too much. In some church environments, church discipline is mainly equated with the nuclear option of excommunication and the leadership of the church is not known for its patience but for its itchy trigger finger. Teaching the process of church discipline is not about filling the church with a sense of dread and covering the floor with eggshells. It’s about providing enough visibility about the guardrails and expectations that people can actually breathe more freely, not less. Church discipline - rightly exercised - is motivated by real, sorrowful love and concern.

4. Follow the process.

Once again, we fail our congregations when we don’t begin church discipline until we feel pressed to remove someone from membership and refuse them the Lord’s Supper. It’s as if there aren’t previous, patient, hopeful steps in Matthew 18. Even the context of Paul’s command in 1 Corinthians 5:13 appears to demonstrate excommunication is the final straw, not the only one. If we will follow the biblical process of church discipline, beginning with confidential and humble rebuke of a brother’s or sister's sin, if unrepentance persists and the circle of visibility widens, expulsion will be seen as a regrettable and sorrowful necessity, and as something intended for a person’s repentance and restoration, not for their punishment.

5. Practice gospel-centeredness.

God will get the glory and our churches will give him glory when church discipline is practiced in the context of a grace-driven culture. You can expect church discipline to seem unnecessary and legalistic in churches where the gospel has not had any noticeable effect on the spirit of the people. But in churches where God’s free grace in Christ is regularly preached and believed, church leaders will be regularly setting aside their egos and narcissistic needs and the laity will be bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things, and believing all things (1 Corinthians 13:7), including that while no discipline feels pleasant at the time, in the end it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

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Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) is Becky's husband and Macy and Grace's daddy, and also the pastor of Middletown Springs Community Church in Middletown Springs, Vermont and the author of the books Gospel Wakefulness, Your Jesus is Too Safe, Abide, Seven Daily Sins, and the forthcoming Gospel Deeps. He blogs almost daily at The Gospel-Driven Church.

Gospel Centered Leadership - Transparency

There’s a scene in the movie, We Were Soldiers where Mel Gibson’s character assures the men he is leading into battle that he will be the first person off their helicopter and the last man to step back on when they leave the battlefield. He's upfront and transparent with his men. Good leaders are transparent. When leaders aren't transparent, when their behavior doesn't model what they say, people find it very difficult to follow them. Few mistakes shine brighter in an organization than when a leader violates the principles, traditions and ethical standards that shape the culture of that organization.

Gather people to your vision and show them what it looks like to walk through life in pursuit of that vision. This is true in both normative and catalytic seasons within your organization. Change brings uncertainty and resistance. No amount of instruction will pry people away from the golden myth of the past as effectively as a leader who models what it looks like to live out a new rhythm of life.

This goes deeper than the hard work of crystallizing what matters most to you into pithy statements or a set of bullet points that you post on your office wall like an alternate set of ten commandments. For example, it’s one thing to capture a conviction about a life shaped by God’s calling to community and mission. And while we never want to minimize the beauty of a life that’s built around other people as we declare and display the greatness and glory and goodness and grace of God in everyday life, there’s something else at work in the lives of leaders who change the way other people think and live and love.

We don’t grow into a family of missionaries - ultimately - through the collective adoption of best practices. What changes the people God has given us to lead is not merely their observation of our hospitality or incarnational posture. It’s quite possible that they’ll watch you live out this new way of life, provide the occasional word of encouragement, or offer of help - yet never embrace any of it as their own. This can be particularly problematic in established churches or Christianized cultures where the work of community and mission remains the sole work of professional ministers.

If we intend people to become part of a family of missionaries in our cities, we must lead with a transparency that is far more foundational and pervasive than missional convictions and communal methodology. I’ve spent this year meditating on the book of Colossians and this morning I was back at the beginning of the letter, greeted with a reminder that grace has been given and peace has been secured on my behalf. On one hand, this means that I am loved - lavishly - with an affection that is settled and steadfast. There is much that is uncertain in my world, but the love of my heavenly Father is not in question. On the other hand, this love that has rewoven everything that could possibly unravel my relationship with God is a tapestry of grace. It is love that is undeserved, even as it is freely and abundantly given. The very concept of grace is a reminder that while there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God, it is a love given in lieu of the actual content of my life.

Grace creates transparent leaders in two particular ways: it convinces us that we are loved with unbreakable and unyielding affection; and it compels us to own up to the manifold ways we reject such love. Beyond our principles and practices, Gospel-centered leadership models a life of repentance and faith. The call to community and mission protects this from discombobulating into a life of flaccid passivity. Yet in a culture that threatens to careen into a hyper-active obsession with all things communal and missional, here in the simple language of grace and peace is a patient and persistent reminder that the life we are called to is a life that never disconnects from undeserved yet unwavering love.

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Matt Adair is the lead pastor of Christ Community Church in Athens and area director for Acts 29 in the state of Georgia. Twitter @mattadair

Discipleship 101: How to Disciple a New Believer

There are two men in their 20s who recently came to faith in Christ through the ministry of our church. I baptized them a few weeks ago. I’m discipling these guys right now. So, the question of how to disciple new believers is foremost in my thoughts. Discipleship involves a lot, but one of the most important things we can do for a new believer is teach them how to read, understand, respond to, and apply God’s Word. I’m discipling these two men is through weekly Bible reading meetings. This is how I do it:

-Every Wednesday night these guys come to my house to join in our Neighborhood Group with people from our church and neighborhood.

-I have the guys come 30 minutes early so the three of us can read the Bible together.

-Each week we read one paragraph of Scripture together and talk about it. Right now we’re reading Philippians because it’s the book I’m preaching through, it’s the book all of our Neighborhood Groups are studying, and because I think Philippians is a pivotal book to master for new believers.

-Each week I ask the guys two questions about the text: 1) What did this text mean in its original 1st century context? 2) What does this text mean for our lives today? As we work through these two questions I connect our thoughts to Jesus and the bigger storyline of Scripture.

-From 30 minutes of Bible reading and these two questions, we end up covering a ton of theological and practical ground. Last week’s study of Philippians 1:3-11 led to conversation about the Trinity, the second coming of Christ, how to pray, and God’s sovereignty and human responsibility.

Most believers have never been intentionally discipled and most believers have no clue how to go about discipling a new believer. The problem is that people don’t have a good understanding of what discipleship is. Here’s a definition we use:

Discipleship is truth transferred through relationship.

It’s that simple. What I’m doing with these two men on Wednesday nights is transferring truth through a meaningful relationship. I love these two men, and they know it. In relationship with them, I’m teaching them the truth, and at the center of that process, we're learning how to read, rejoice in, and apply God’s Word.

This post originally appeared at JustinBuzzard.net.

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Justin Buzzard is founder and lead pastor of Garden City Church, a new church plant in Silicon Valley. Buzzard has been dating his wife for nine years and is the father of three young sons. He speaks widely, writes at JustinBuzzard.net, and earned an MDiv at Fuller Theological Seminary. He is the author of Consider Jesus and mostly recently Date Your Wife. Twitter @JustinBuzzard

Taking the Long View

A few years ago I read A Narrative of Suprising Conversions by Jonathan Edwards, and there is one particular paragraph that God used to shape and change my heart. Edwards is talking about his grandfather, Solomon Stoddard, who preceded Edwards as pastor of his church. Listen to how Edwards describes him: “He was eminent and renowned for his gifts and grace; so he was blessed, from the beginning, with extraordinary success in his ministry, in the conversion of many souls.” Edwards explains that this happened in five seasons or “harvests" spread over Stoddard's 60 years in ministry. Edwards tells us exactly when they happened:

Harvest one erupts, and many are saved… Four years pass… Harvest two comes, and a great number of people are converted… Thirteen years pass… Harvest three happens, many come to know Christ… Sixteen years pass… Harvest four comes about, people flock to faith in Jesus… Six years pass… Harvest five errupts, and many are saved.

Years passed - sometimes more than a decade - between the times in which this church saw God bless them with great seasons of numerical growth by conversion. This great man of God pastored in the same place for nearly 60 years, pouring his life out for the sake of Jesus, working hard to make disciples, and was blessed to see amazing things.

We like to talk about those periods when growth is happening. It’s exciting. It’s energizing. We love to tell stories of churches that are seeing many people coming to faith. New services are started. Locations are multiplied. Baptisms are happening. But my question is: what about the seasons in between? What was happening in Stoddard's congregation then?

For every harvest there must be a sowing. When you add up the numbers, for 39 of his 60 years in ministry Solomon Stoddard didn’t see extraordinary growth. To be sure, people came to faith. Undoubtedly, the Spirit of God was at work. But, by most standards today (at least those we use in the American Church), Solomon Stoddard wasn’t much of a success.

At the heart of his ministry is a quality that is unfortunately all but forgotten by many: faithfulness. If Stoddard had been evaluated today, he might have been told to give up. To reevaluate his call. To change things up, try something new, adopt another strategy. Why? Because we are so tempted to trade the call to faithfulness for the allure of success. It is not sexy or glamorous to spend decades faithfully preaching the Word of God, investing your life in the people God has entrusted to you while seeing very little visible fruit.

But for a true harvest to come, there must be seed sown. Cared for. Watered. Tended to. Protected. Nourished. It is only after this hard work of faithful care has been done that a lasting harvest can come.

My prayer today is that God would give us the long view of ministry, and that our desire would be to give our lives in faithful service – trusting God to bring a tremendous harvest!

Bill Streger serves as the Lead Pastor of Kaleo Church, an Acts 29 Network church in Houston, TX. Born and raised in Houston, he attended Houston Baptist University and is currently pursuing his M.Div. from Reformed Baptist Seminary. Bill is a husband to Shannon, daddy to Mirabelle and Levi, and a life-long Houston Rockets fan. Twitter @billstreger

How to Respond to Religious Pluralism

Is Jesus the only way to God? I'm often asked this question. If the answer is, “Yes, Jesus is the only way to God,” a line is drawn where we would sometimes rather things remain fuzzy. Why would we prefer this particular claim to remain fuzzy? In many cities there are arrays of religious beliefs: Mysticism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity, to name a few. The presence of so many different religions in cities leads people (Christians included) to conclude that all religious paths lead to God. Why does this happen in cities? In urban areas, we are more likely to develop relationships with people from various religions. When we realize that they are kind and sincere because of their religious beliefs, it seems arrogant to insist their beliefs are wrong. After all, their religion appears to have made them very likable, respectable people. I have met secularists and Buddhists who are more generous and sacrificial than many Christians I know. How, then, should we respond to this array of religions with the claim that Jesus offers the one, true way to God?

Answering the Question Socially

When people of other faiths rival Christian character, we face a tendency to affirm all religions as valid ways to God. We make a theological decision based on social experience. Rather than investigate the answer to one of the most important questions, we prefer to glaze the question with inch-deep reflections upon the character of people we meet. Understandable but not wise.

What if we became known for not only posing great questions but also grappling deeply and sincerely with great answers? Many Christians claim that belief in Jesus is the only way to God. Others insist there are many ways to God, a view popularly called religious pluralism (academic religious pluralism advocates inter religious dialog not that all religions lead to the same God. Here we will deal with religious pluralism in its popular form). Let’s examine the claims of religious pluralism.

Over the past five years in Austin, Texas (a case study city for Harvard’s Pluralism Project), I have had the opportunity to meet, know, and talk with both Christian and non-Christian pluralists. As I have reflected on these conversations, it seems that there are at least three reasons people embrace religious pluralism. They believe it to be more enlightened, humble, and tolerant. Let’s examine each of these reasons more closely.

Is Religious Pluralism Enlightened?

Is the belief that all religious paths lead to the same God more enlightened or educated? Comparatively, each religion teaches very different things about who God is and how humans reach the divine. In fact, there is a lot of disagreement between the religions regarding the nature of God. Buddhism, for example, doesn’t believe in God. Islam teaches an impersonal monotheism, Allah. The Koran states that God reveals His will, but not His person. Christianity teaches a personal trinitarianism, where God is three persons in relationship, Father-Son-Spirit that can be known and enjoyed. Hinduism varies on this question, ranging from polytheism to atheism. This is due to the absence of definitive revelation to clarify Hindu “theology.” Instead, Hinduism has multiple sources of revelation (Upanishads, Vedas, etc.)  Contrary to Islam, Hinduism has no presuppositions about the nature of God. In short, religious views of God differ. If so, it would seem far from “enlightened” to claim that all religions lead to the same God, when their views of God are, in fact, radically different. This claim of religious pluralism contradicts the tenants of the religions themselves.

Religions not only teach different things about who God is but also how we “reach him.” Buddhism suggests the 8-fold Noble Path, Islam the 5 Pillars (Shahadah, Prayer, Fasting, Charity, Pilgrimage) and Christianity the gospel of Jesus. Therefore, to say that all religions lead to God is not only unenlightened it is inaccurate. This is the thesis of Stephen Prothero, Boston College professor, in his book God is not One. He writes:

And it is comforting to pretend that the great religions make up one big, happy family. But this sentiment, however well-intentioned, is neither accurate nor ethically responsible. God is not one.

Prothero goes on to point out that just as God is not one, so also all religions are not one. They are distinct and make very different claims about God and how to reach him. In light of what we have observed regarding what religions teach about the nature of God and how to reach him, religious pluralism must be reconsidered. Subscribing to religious pluralism because it is more enlightened or a more “educated” view of world religions is not only unenlightened but also inaccurate.

Is Religious Pluralism More Humble?

Despite very clear differences on the nature of God and human access to the divine, religious pluralists continue to insist that there are many ways to God. Why would educated people persist in an inaccurate view of other religions? One major reason is because they believe it to be an act of humility and love. Very often I hear people say: “Who am I to judge someone else’s religion, to tell them that they are wrong?” This implies, of course, that maintaining Jesus is the only way to God is arrogant. I’ll be the first to admit there are arrogant Christians who rudely insist that Jesus is the only way to God. I’d like to apologize for those kinds of Christians. Arrogant insistence on your beliefs actually runs counter to the life and teachings of Jesus. However, just because someone is arrogant doesn’t make him or her wrong.

People are arrogantly right about all kinds of things—Math, Science, Religion. You probably work with someone like this. (Dwight Schrute?) The arrogantly right person always talk down to others with an air of arrogance because they have the right answer. It might not be nice, but it doesn’t mean they are wrong.

For all the Christians who are arrogant about Jesus’ exclusive claims, there are many more who have ardently searched religions, compared their claims, and humbly come the conclusion that Jesus was telling the truth, that personal faith in the Messiah is the only way to God. This doesn’t make them arrogant; it makes them authentic. They are willing to stand by what they discovered to be true. Insisting on what is true doesn’t automatically make you arrogant. There are both humble and arrogant ways to insist on Jesus’ claim that he is the only way to God. After all, it is Jesus who said it, and Jesus was quintessentially humble, especially if he is who he said he was. By contrast, religious pluralism exclusively insists that its view—all ways lead to God—is true while all other religions are false in their exclusive teachings.

When religious pluralism claims that there are many ways to God, it is not humble. It actually carries an air of arrogance about it. How? Religious pluralism insists that its view—all ways lead to God—is true while all other religions are false in their exclusive teachings. Religious pluralism dogmatically insists on its exclusive claim, namely that all roads lead to God. The problem, as we have seen, is that this claim directly contradicts many religions like Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, and Christianity. The claim of the religious pluralist is arrogant because it enforces its own belief on others. It says to other religions: “You must believe what I believe, not what you believe. Your way isn’t right, in fact all of your ways are wrong and my way is right. There isn’t just one way to God (insert your religion); there are many ways. You are wrong and I am right.” This can be incredibly arrogant, particularly if the person saying this hasn’t studied all the world religions in depth and makes a blind assertion. Upon what basis can the religious pluralist make this exclusive claim? Where is the proof that this is true? To what ancient Scriptures, traditions, and careful reasoning can they point? The lack of historical and rational support for religious pluralism makes it a highly untenable view of the world and its religions.

Is Religious Pluralism Truly Tolerant?

Very often people hold to religious pluralism because they think it is more tolerant than Christianity. I’ll be the first to say that we need tolerance, but what does it mean to be tolerant? To be tolerant is to accommodate differences, which can be very noble. I believe that Christians should be some of the most accommodating kinds of people, giving everyone the dignity to believe whatever they want and not enforcing their beliefs on others. We should winsomely tolerate different beliefs. Interestingly, religious pluralism doesn’t really allow for this kind of tolerance. Instead of accommodating spiritual differences, religious pluralism blunts them. Let me explain.

The claim that all paths lead to the same God actually minimizes other religions by asserting a new religious claim. When someone says all paths lead to the same God, they blunt the distinctions between religions, throwing them all in one pot, saying: “See, they all get us to God so the differences don’t really matter.” This isn’t tolerance; it’s a power play. When asserting all religions lead to God, the distinctive and very different views of God and how to reach the divine in Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam are brushed aside in one powerful swoop. The Eightfold Noble Path, the 5 Pillars of Islam, and the Gospel of Christ are not tolerated but told they must submit to a new religious claim–religious pluralism–despite the fact that this isn’t what those religions teach. When it does this, religious pluralism places itself on top of all other religions.

The Religion of Religious Pluralism

People spend years studying and practicing their religious distinctions. To say they don’t really matter is highly intolerant! The very notion of religious tolerance assumes there are differences to tolerate, but pluralism is intolerant of those very differences! In this sense, religious pluralism is a religion of its own. It has its own religious absolute—all paths lead to the same God—and requires people of other faiths to embrace this absolute, without any religious backing at all. This is highly evangelistic. Religious pluralism  is preachy but under the guise of tolerance. In the end, it is a step of faith to say there are many paths to God. Says who? The idea that all paths lead to the same God is not a self-evident fact; it is a leap of faith. It isn’t even an educated leap, nor is it as humble and tolerant as it might appear.

Here is Stephen Prothero’s response to this tenant of religious pluralism:

Faith in the unity of religions is just that—faith (perhaps even a kind of fundamentalism). And the leap that gets us there is an act of the hyperactive imagination.

As it turns out, each of the reasons for subscribing to religious pluralism—enlightenment, humility, and tolerance—all backfire. They don’t carry through. Religious pluralism isn’t enlightened, it’s inaccurate; it isn’t humble, it’s fiercely dogmatic; and it isn’t really all that tolerant because it intolerantly blunts religious distinctions. In the end, religious pluralism is a religion, a leap of faith, based on contradiction and is highly untenable. Christianity, on the other hand, respects and honors the various distinctions of other religions, comparing them, and honoring their differing principles–Karma (Hinduism), Enlightenment (Buddhism), Submission (Islam), and Grace (Christianity). As we conclude, let’s explore Jesus’ exclusive claim that he is the Way, the Truth, and the Life as well as the charge that his teachings in Christianity are arrogant, unenlightened, and intolerant. In particular, we will examine the unique principle of grace.

Christ Teaches Us Humility

First, Jesus is the Way. What does this mean? Does it mean that Jesus is our trailblazer, clearing the other religious options aside so we can hike our way to heaven through spiritual or moral improvement. If I keep the Ten Commandments, if I serve the poor and love my neighbor, if I pray and read the Bible enough, then God will accept me. No. As the way, Jesus doesn’t create a path for us to hike. We can never make it—do enough spiritual, moral, or social good to impress God. Much less love him with all our soul, mind, and strength. We can’t make it up the path. We all fail to love and serve the infinitely admirable and lovable God. In fact, we love other things more, that’s a crime of infinite proportions. It’s against an infinite God. The sentence for our crime must be carried out.

When Jesus takes the arduous hike for us he goes down into the valley where the criminals die. He hikes down into our sin, our rebellion, our failures and he heaps them all on his back and climbs on a cross, where he is punished for our crime, a bloody gruesome death. The innocent punished for the guilty. If he doesn’t take our punishment, then we must endure it—forever separation from God. If you reject Jesus, then you will pay the infinite consequences. However, if you embrace Jesus in his sin-absorbing death you get forgiveness, and Jesus hikes not only through the valley but up the mountain to carry your forgiveness to God, where he pleads our innocence (Hebrews 10). This is what it means for Jesus to be the way. He hikes into the valley of our just punishment and up the mountain for our forgiveness. He is the redemptive way. He takes our place. This understanding of Jesus as the way should make us incredibly humble not arrogant. We realize how undeserving we are and how much mercy we have been shown.

Christ Enlightens Us

Jesus is also the Truth. What does that mean? In John chapter 1, we are told that God became flesh and was full of grace and truth in Jesus. The truth is that God is Jesus. Christianity is the only religion where God is born as a man, becomes fully human. This is the height of enlightenment. All other religions teach that humans must work their way toward divinity. The truth is Jesus. The truth is a person who dies in our place, for our crimes, and in turn gives us his life. The truth is that God works his way down to humanity and dies for us. That’s grace. See, the truth isn’t a special prayer or code word we say at the pearly gates. In Christianity, the truth is essentially revealed in a Person, Jesus, full of grace and humility. All other religions God is impersonal, but in Christianity we meet God in Jesus. The truth is a Person who dies for us. Wonderfully enlightened, moving.

Christ Guides Us to Persuasive Tolerance

Finally, Jesus is the Life. As if it wasn’t enough to be our way, incredibly humbling, and the truth, truly enlightening, Jesus caps it off by offering us not just his death but his life. What life? Later on in John, Jesus says he is the resurrection and the life, and that whoever believes in him, though he die yet he will live (11:25). He goes down into the valley to take our death, and rises up from the dead to up the other side of the valley where he prepares a new place for us to enjoy life with him forever. The hope of Christ’s life should break into the lives of Christians today, making us persuasively tolerant. We tolerantly extend people the dignity of their own beliefs. We don’t minimize the differences between religions. We honor them. The life of Christ produces in us true humility. But it also produces in us true enlightenment. We’ve come to grasp grace, that God works his way down to us, dies for our moral and religious failures, and offers us life. If this is true, we must lovingly, humbly try to persuade others to believe in Jesus—who alone offers the wonderful promise of the way to God, the truth of God, and life of God.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how nice or moral a person is because there is not enough niceness or morality to pay for our rejection of God. Either we must be rejected or we turn to Jesus who was rejected for us. This is the heart of the gospel. Jesus lays down his own life for those who reject him, for his enemies, for those who don’t believe in him, and offers them forgiveness. Why would we reject such a man?—such a God? Jesus’ claims are better than the claims of religious pluralism. Christianity delivers where pluralism cannot. Instead of being unenlightened, Jesus is truly enlightening. He is God—full of grace and truth. Instead of being arrogant, Jesus should make us incredibly humble. He created the way to God for us at the expense of his own death. Finally, instead of being intolerant, Jesus should make us persuasively tolerant, granting people the dignity of unbelief but pleading with them to accept true life!

We all have a choice—where to place our faith. Will we place it in unenlightened, dogmatic, and intolerant pluralism? Or will we place it in Jesus, who is the incredibly humbling way, the enlightening truth, and the persuasively tolerant life? Both require faith. In The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, Leslie Newbigin wrote: “Doubt is not autonomous.” We can’t rely on doubt alone. We can’t doubt one thing without placing our faith in another. We can doubt Jesus and trust pluralism, or we can trust Jesus and doubt pluralism. We cannot say, “I believe Jesus is the only way,” and also say, “I believe all religions lead to God.” Ask yourself, will you place faith in Jesus who is the way, truth, and life? Or, will you place your faith in religious pluralism?

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Jonathan Dodson (M.Div, Th.M) is happy husband to Robie, and proud father to Owen, Ellie & Rosamund. He is also the lead pastor of Austin City Life church and directional leader for PlantR and Gospel Centered Discipleship.com. Jonathan is also the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship (Crossway, 2012). He blogs at jonathandodson.org, enjoys listening to M. Ward, watching sci-fi, and following Jesus. You can find him on Twitter @Jonathan_Dodson.

The Call To Discipleship

There is a growing recognition in churches today about the need for discipleship. In what follows I would like to describe, from the Gospel of Luke, what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Luke has some helpful insights about discipleship. The first eight chapters are focused on “who is Jesus?” But there’s a shift in chapter 9, where Peter with the help of the Holy Spirit realizes that Jesus is not one more in a succession of prophets and teachers. Peter says, “You are the Christ of God” - you are the Messiah, the one who is bringing the ruling power of God back into the world to heal and repair all the brokenness—whether it’s spiritual, psychological, social, or physical.

From the time Jesus’ identity is revealed, he begins to say, “Follow me.” If he is who he says he is, what does it mean to follow him? Being a disciple of Jesus Christ means setting a new priority, finding a new identity, and living a new mercy. All three are critical; they all fit together. Let’s look at them.

Setting a New Priority

Being a disciple means setting a new priority. In Luke 9:57–62 Jesus meets three eager men, all willing to follow him. Jesus’ responses to them are surprisingly blunt.

The first man says, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus says, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” It’s as if Jesus is saying, “There’s nothing wrong with what you just said, but I discern a wrong attitude underneath your statement. Do you know what kind of Savior I am? I’m not the kind that rallies constituents, pulls together armies, and then triumphs. I am a Savior who saves through being condemned, through dying, through giving my heart to be broken. Let’s apply this to one area of your life: I see that you have a home, a nice standard of living. Are you willing to put me before that? Are you willing to lose those things for me?”

Then Jesus addresses two other men, similarly concerned with their families. One says, “I’d love to come with you, but first I have to bury my father.” The other says, “First let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” There is nothing wrong with having a funeral for your father or going back to see your family, but behind these requests Jesus sees a wrong attitude of heart. He’s saying, “I know you. For you specifically to go to your father’s funeral—or back home—would be a bad idea. I must come first.” Notice their language. In both cases they say, “Lord, first, let me do this.” Jesus says there can’t be any but first. “I must be your first priority.” That’s what he means when he says: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Anyone who plows a field must be completely focused on plowing. And following Jesus is no different, “My disciple has to be utterly focused on me.” By the way, “fit for the kingdom” is an unfortunate translation; the word there means “useful.” You might think he’s saying, “Unless you’re totally committed, you don’t qualify for my kingdom.” Of course no one qualifies for Jesus’ kingdom. It’s all by grace. He’s saying: Unless delighting Jesus, resembling him, serving him, and knowing him is your highest priority, the healing power of the kingdom of God will not be flowing through you. You will not be a useful vehicle for it.

The second and more cryptic line is, “Let the dead bury their own dead.” Obviously physically dead people can’t dig graves, so the first noun must refer to the spiritually dead. To be spiritually dead means to be as blind and insensitive to spiritual reality as a physical body is to physical reality. You may be saying, “Well, I believe in Jesus, but I can’t put him first right now. I’ve got my career; I’ve got to wait till my parents die, because they would be unhappy if I became a Christian . . . I see who he is and what he’s done, but I’m not going to put him first just yet. Someday I will.” When someone says, “I understand Christianity. I’m just not ready to put it at the central place in my life,” then that person really doesn’t understand it yet! Jesus says: Putting anything before me reveals spiritual deadness. Let the dead bury their dead. If you put your father before me, there’s a spiritual deadness in your life.

Talking this harshly is not my style, but I’m afraid to mute the smelling–salts-ness of Jesus’ message: Let the dead bury the dead! No one who looks back is fit for the kingdom of God! Foxes have holes, birds have nests . . . But “I have to be the first priority in your life, or you’re not a disciple; if you don’t put me first in your life, it’s not that you’re just uncommitted or lazy, disorganized or undisciplined. No, you just don’t get it! You don’t really see who I am and what I’ve done; you don’t understand the meaning of my life and work. You need to wake up!”

Let me illustrate. In 1971 I heard a talk—two illustrations—that changed my life. The woman who gave the talk, named Barbara Boyd, said, “If somebody says to me, ‘Come on in, Barbara, but stay out, Boyd,’ it’s a bit of a problem, because I can’t separate them. It’s not like the top half of me is Barbara, and the bottom half of me is Boyd. So if you won’t have Boyd, you can’t get Barbara. If you’re going to keep the Boyd out, I can’t come in at all!” She continued: “To say, ‘Jesus, come into my life, forgive my sins, answer my prayers; do this for me, do that for me—but don’t be the absolute master of my life; Jesus, Savior, come in; but Lord, stay out,’ how can he come in at all? Because he’s all Savior, and he’s all Lord. He’s Lord because he’s Savior. He’s Savior because he’s Lord.”

I remember her second illustration: “If the distance between the Earth and the sun, which is 92 million miles, was the thickness of a piece of paper, the diameter of our galaxy would be a stack of papers 310 miles high. And our galaxy is less than a speck of dust in the part of the universe that we can see. And that part of the universe might just be a speck of dust compared to all the universe. And if Jesus is the Son of God who holds all this together with the power of his word, is this the kind of person you ask into your life to be your personal assistant?” Then she asked us all to go outside and for one hour say nothing. “Just think about what this means to you.”

She was expanding on Jesus’ message:  If you intellectually assent, “Yes, I think Jesus is probably the Son of God; I think he probably died for our sins,” but he is not the center of your life, then you may think you understand, but you really don’t. It’s not just a matter of commitment or lack of discipline, there’s spiritual deadness; you don’t really see it, understand it, get it. Wake yourself up!

Finding a New Identity

Discipleship is not just a matter of bending your will to Jesus’ will; it’s melting your heart into a whole new shape. A disciple is not someone who simply sets a new priority; a disciple finds a new identity. We see this in Luke 9:23–25. At first sight verse 23 looks like it’s just another way of saying set a new priority: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” But there’s more to it than that. In Semitic literature, the second and third sentences often restate the first. And here the second and third sentences say, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for me will save it.” The word life is not the word for physical life. There’s a good Greek word for that: bios, from which we get our word biology. The Greek word that’s translated “life” here is psyche, meaning “self.” He’s talking—pretty radically—about the psychological, inner life. “Your old way of having an identity, of gaining a sense of self, has got to end. In a sense you have to die to it. And I can give you a whole new identity. You’ll get a whole new true self.”

Let’s look at this more closely. Verses 24 and 25 show what he’s not saying. He’s not taking the typical Eastern or Western approach to identity. In Buddhism the deepest consciousness of enlightenment is losing all sense that you are an individual self. The boundaries between you and the rest of reality disappear. The Eastern way to humility, to peace, is to actually lose the sense of an individual self.

But Jesus doesn’t stop at, “I want you to lose yourself.” He says, “Lose yourself to find yourself,” which means, “I want you to die to your old approach to identity, and get a new sense of individual self.” He’s not going the Eastern way. But he’s sure not going the Western way either.

W. H. Auden wrote a work called The Age of Anxiety in which he satirizes the modern Western obsession with “finding yourself.” In it there’s a great line that reads: “Miserable wicked me, / How interesting I am.” Others have also noted our obsession with finding and fulfilling your deepest desires as the main thing you’re supposed to do in life. It almost seems that Jesus has us in mind when he says, “You’re never going to find out who you really are by trying to find out who you really are. You’re going to have to lose yourself in serving me.” Some things happen only as a byproduct, and identity is one of them.

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world?” (9:25). Gaining things from the world is the normal way we try to get a self. In fact, the three men at the end of Luke 9 are examples of this. Some people say you’re nobody unless you have a lucrative career. People in more traditional cultures say you’re nobody unless you have a family. But Jesus is saying, “If you get the whole world, it cannot give you a stable self.” He says, “If you lose yourself for me . . .” In other words, “Instead of trying to gain a self by gaining things, build everything in your life on me, on who I am, on what I have done, then finally you’ll have a true self that is stable, because you were built to know me.”

A disciple is not only someone who has set a new priority, but someone whose entire identity has been reshaped and forged. But how is that possible?

Living a New Mercy

The key to setting a new priority and finding a new identity is in living a new mercy. And this is also evident in Luke 9. Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem, and, it says in verse 52, “He sent messengers on ahead, who went into a Samaritan village to get things ready for him; but the people there did not welcome him.” They rejected him. “When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, ‘Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?’”

Let’s try to understand them. Remember that there was a prophet, named Elijah, who called down fire upon some soldiers who were seeking to arrest him. And on the Mount of Transfiguration, Jesus had appeared—to James and John—with Elijah and Moses. The message of the Transfiguration (Luke 9:28–36) was that Jesus was even greater than Moses and Elijah.

So think of the logic of the disciples: You’re greater than Elijah. These people have rejected you, and that’s even worse than rejecting Elijah. That adds even more effrontery to the godhead. Shall we not bring down fire and destroy them?

This would be the kind of prophet the world can relate to. But Jesus Christ doesn’t rebuke the unbelieving Samaritans; he rebukes the disciples! He is the absolute un-Elijah. Can you imagine their continued perplexity if they still believe he’s greater than Elijah? The soldiers come after Jesus to kill him—in the Garden—and what does he do? He heals an ear that was cut during a skirmish. Later on, the soldiers are pounding nails into his hands, and what does he say? Father, forgive them; they really don’t understand what they’re doing.

Why doesn’t fire come down on the Samaritans? On the soldiers? The answer comes in Luke 12, where Jesus says, “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled.” That’s very interesting for two reasons. One is that fire, in biblical imagery, always means the judgment of God. Second, he says he comes to bring fire on the earth! This is perplexing because, after all, he has just rejected Elijah’s fiery approach. Ah! Semitic literature: the second sentence is a restatement of the first; this is what he actually says, in Luke 12:49–50: “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed!” He’s already been baptized with water, so he’s clearly talking about something else. “I’ve come to bring fire. How constrained I am until it’s completed. I have come to undergo a baptism, how crushed I am until it’s over.” Why didn’t the fire come down on the Samaritans or later on the soldiers? Because the fire came down on him. He was baptized. He was the one immersed in the judgment of God. He got what we deserved. This is the answer to all the riddles.

Look back over the years, and you will see that when people want to atone for their sins and be forgiven, they put a sacrifice on the altar and burn it with fire. There’s something inside us that intuitively says, “That can’t be enough to put away sins.” That’s right. All those fires were pointing to this fire. It didn’t come down on the Samaritans or the soldiers, because it came down  on Jesus Christ. He came to take it. He came to bear it. Luke 9:22 says, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected . . . and on the third day be raised to life.” They rejected him; shouldn’t they be rejected? He’s rejected for them. The Son of Man came to be rejected and to be killed. This is the secret to the change of identity. You have to be melted and amazed and astounded that he took the fire, the punishment, for you. And that’s the key to everything else.

Here’s the reason: You cannot change your identity without a radical experience of mercy; without a radical experience of grace; without a radical experience of love.

I’ve heard people say, “You’re right. I probably should change my identity, build my identity on God.” But you can’t change your identity by just deciding. It’s not an act of the will. A person can’t just say, “You know, I’m having a problem in my life because I built my identity on my parents’ expectations. I think I’ll build my identity on my career and accomplishments.” You can’t do that! That’s not transformation; that’s acting. Your heart is not a computer in which you can just install a program. There’s only one way that the root of your personality can be changed, and that is by an experience of love. Only when your heart experiences love from a new source beyond anything it’s ever known before will your heart start to move toward that source, and begin to be deeply changed.

Thomas Chalmers, the well-known Scottish preacher, in his famous sermon, “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection,” says it all: Seldom do any of our habits or flaws disappear by a process of extinction through reasoning or “by the mere force of mental determination.” Reason and willpower are not enough. “But what cannot be destroyed may be dispossessed... The only way to dispossess [the heart] of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.” A young man, for example, may “cease to idolize pleasure, but it is only because the idol of wealth has become the stronger and gotten the ascendancy,” and is enabling him to discipline himself for prosperous business. “Even the love of money ceases to have the mastery over the heart” if it’s drawn into another world of ideology and politics, “and he is now lorded over by the love of power.” But “there is not one of these [identity] transformations in which the heart is left without an object. Its desire for one particular object may be conquered, but . . . its desire for having some one object” of absolute love “is unconquerable.” It is only when admitted “into the number of God’s children through the faith that is in Jesus Christ [that] the spirit of adoption is poured out upon us. It is then that the heart, brought under the mastery of one great and predominate affection, is delivered from the tyranny of its former desires, in the only way that deliverance is possible.” So it isn’t enough to hold out a “mirror of its imperfections” to your soul. It’s not enough to lecture your conscience. Rather, you must “try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts for the love of him who is greater than the world.”

Until you’re melted by the amazing sight, knowledge, and sense of Jesus taking the fire for you, you can’t have that transformation of identity. You can’t just decide, “I think I’m going to change my identity.” It can’t be done. It has to be an experience of love.

Jesus is saying that your career can’t buy it for you. Even the best parents can’t give it to you. “Don’t give the title deed of your heart to anyone but me. Don’t have any other master but me, because I’m the only one that will never leave you, and if you fail me, will forgive you.”

So you have to have all three. There must be an experience of this new, radical mercy, which leads you to find a new identity, which in turn helps you set a new priority.

Being a Disciple

Notice three practical things about being a disciple. First, discipleship is not an option. Jesus says that if anyone would come after me, he must follow me. If you want to come after me—it’s a general term—if you want to have any experience of me, any relationship with me, you have to be a disciple. There are not two kinds of Christians: regular Christians and people who are really disciples. There’s only one: to be a Christian is to be a disciple. To have anything to do with me is to follow me in the way I define it: setting a new priority, finding a new identity, experiencing living out of a new mercy.

Second, having said that it’s not an option—on the other hand, it is a journey. It’s rhetorically brilliant of Luke to note this. In verse 51 Jesus sets out on a journey toward Jerusalem. It’s Jesus’ journey of discipleship, “He sets his face to go to Jerusalem.” And it’s from the moment he begins his journey toward the cross that he begins all his teaching about discipleship. All the next nine chapters, all the teaching on discipleship, comes as he’s going on a journey. This is Luke’s way of saying that discipleship is a journey. In other words, on the one hand, there is a decisive point. You have to leave. Have you left? To go on the journey means saying, “I take my hands off my life.” To go on the journey means saying, “I give up my right to self-determination.” To go on the journey means saying, “I will obey you, Lord, and I’ll get rid of all the if’s. Not “I’ll obey you if,” but obey. Period. I drop my conditions. I drop the if’s; they’re gone!” Not until you say that have you begun the journey. However, after your decisive beginning, the fact remains that it’s a journey. It’s a process that takes time. You’re not going to have it all together. It’s very important to keep that in mind, because if you think that discipleship is the way you’re saved—that by being committed and focused and giving Jesus the priority you’re going to please God and that will get you saved—you’re missing the point. Look at the order. He doesn’t say, “If you follow me, I’ll go to the cross for you.” He says, “I’m going to the cross for you, so follow me.” You’re not saved because you’re a disciple; you’re a disciple if and only if you understand what he has done to save you.

There is one last thing. The sign of true, growing, gospel disciples is their gentleness. What really amazes me about the heart of this passage is that the disciples say, “We’re going to show you how intensely committed we are to you. Look at those people rejecting you. Don’t you want us to bring fire down on them?!” And what does Jesus say? “You don’t get it.” And here’s why.

My experience is that committed disciples of any religion, philosophy, or political cause are hard on themselves and on other people too. They’re committed to the cause, so why aren’t you committed to the cause? You should all be committed to the cause; what’s the matter with you? But the gospel is utterly different. The harder you are on yourself and the gospel, the easier you are on other people. Jesus Christ is saying: My disciples are not terrorists. My disciples know they’re saved by grace, so when they look at people who aren’t doing it right, they don’t say, “Why aren’t you as good as we are? Why aren’t you as committed as we are?” They don’t call fire down from heaven. Jesus says to his disciples: You don’t understand yet. You haven’t had the transformation of identity, because you don’t yet understand my mercy. You don’t know what I’ve done for you, because as yet you can’t, but someday you will. These disciples are probably racist; notice this: they’re calling down fire on the half-breed Samaritans. A lot of Israelites have done a lot of things to reject Jesus, but this is the first time any of his followers wanted fire to come down. Perhaps there’s racism; there’s definitely self-righteousness. Superiority, bigotry, stridency, harshness—they go away, the more you become a disciple. They go away as you become aware that Jesus took the fire for you, as it becomes more central in your heart. And that’s a sign that you’re not just trying to save yourself, not just being religious.

Are you becoming more gentle? More tolerant? More gracious with people around you? More kind? Follow Jesus. He’ll give you what you need. He’s a wonderful counselor. One guy comes and says, “I’m ready to follow you wherever you go.” Jesus says, “Go home and think about it.” Another guy says, “I want to go home and think about it.” Jesus says, “Follow me.” Why? Because he’s the perfect counselor. All other counseling theories look flat next to his, because he never gives you a template. He gives you exactly what you need. Follow him, and he will love you singularly. He will love the real you, and love you into a whole new identity. He will give you exactly what you need.

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Timothy Keller is the founding pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, which he started in 1989 with his wife, Kathy, and three young sons.  For over twenty years he has led a diverse congregation of young professionals that has grown to a weekly attendance of over 5,000. Dr. Keller’s books, including the New York Times bestselling The Reason for God and The Prodigal God, have sold over 1 million copies and been translated into 15 languages.

[This is adapted from a sermon by Timothy Keller given February 9, 2003 at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York. Edited and transcribed by the C.S. Lewis Institute. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with permission.]

Gospel Diagnostic Questions

Preaching the gospel to ourselves and to others is an art all of us must grow in if we seek real, lasting change in our lives. It is often assumed that the gospel is only for those who have not yet trusted Christ. This is a faulty view of the gospel and limits its work to a personal salvation experience rather than the explosive power and catalytic dynamic for renewal in our hearts on a continuous basis.

To sum up, the life of the Christian is one of continual repentance and belief, without which we slip into a boss/employee, earn/wage, work/rights relationship with our God.

It then becomes the loving responsibility for each of us to run gospel diagnostics to determine whether or not what motivates our heart and lives is “in step” with the gospel (Gal. 2:14).

Here are twenty gospel questions to ask ourselves:

(1) What is my greatest nightmare? What do I worry about most?

(2) What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that I did not even want to live? What keeps me going?


(3) What do I rely on to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult?

(4) What do I think about most easily? Where does my mind go to when I am free? What pre-occupies me?

(5) What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?

(6) What makes me feel the most self-worth? What am I the proudest of?

(
7) What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make me happy?

(8) What position of authority do I desire to give me a sense of power?

(
9) Whose opinion of me do I hold so dear that if lost I would be undone?

(10) What type of financial loss or gain would change my sense of security?

(11) What one criticism would cause me to respond in anger (wife, children, work, ministry, family, friends, etc.)? What am I most touchy about when brought to my attention?

(12) If I had ______________, then I’d be truly happy and feel as if my life has meaning and value.

(
13) If I lost ______________, I would be undone.


(14) I’m impatient because I’m ____________.

(15) I’m critical because I’m _____________.

(16) I’m angry because I’m _____________.


(17) I’m unhappy because I’m ____________.

(18) I’m in despair because I’m ____________.

(19) I have hope because I’m ___________.

(20) I feel worthy because I’m ___________.

These are only a few questions to help us be truthful with ourselves about the gospel. There is no benefit answering these questions with the “right” answers at the expense of the “true” answers (how we really feel and think).

It is only when the “true” answers come to light that the “right” answers will have any power.

We must spend time excavating our idols by asking these questions. When we sin, we do so because some idol has promised us power, prestige, influence, joy, peace, satisfaction, security, pleasure, etc. - that is far more attractive than Christ at the moment. We don’t sin with a gun held to our heads. We sin willingly because it is overwhelmingly appealing.

We need to discover why sins are so appealing by asking these questions and then remind ourselves that idols:

• are weak 
- can’t deliver when you succeed
• can only raise the bar
• 
can’t forgive when you fail
• will only condemn you
• are harmful to you and to others
• hurt you spiritually, emotionally, and physically
• 
hurt others by undermining your ability to love
• 
are grievous to God

By pursuing this idol you are saying to God, “Jesus is not enough. I also need ______ to be happy.”

Our daily struggle is to realign ourselves with the truth of the gospel, to discover new ways to surrender our trust to Christ and grow.

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David Fairchild was the co-founder and preaching elder of Kaleo Church in San Diego and now serves as the Lead Pastor of Mars Hill West Seattle as well as a founding member of The GCM Collective. He currently lives in Seattle with his wife, Grace, and their two children, Michael and Madison.

Over-Parenting Vs. Missional Parenting

Over-Parenting Okay, I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m an overprotective parent. I have a tendency to overdo it and obsess over the little things that don’t really matter. I guess that’s why I was intrigued by TIME magazine’s cover story a couple of years ago, "The Case Against Over-Parenting: Why Mom and Dad Need to Cut the Strings."

Nancy Gibbs begins her article with these provocative words: "The insanity crept up on us slowly: we just wanted the best for our kids."

Ironically, a good desire has led many parents to become obsessed with their kids’ safety and success. Gibbs calls them “helicopter parents” as they hover over their children’s lives from the classroom to the ball field protecting them and pushing them to succeed.

The result? By worrying about the wrong things, Gibbs says, “we do actual damage to our children, raising them to be anxious and unadventurous.” (Pediatricians have also found that this hurried lifestyle of constant pressure and stress can contribute to health problems like childhood obesity and depression).

So what’s the solution? Well, if the problem was simply hovering over our children’s lives, the solution would be to simply back off and lighten up. And there’s some truth to that! But the problem goes much deeper.

The problem is that we are afraid. If our greatest aim as parents is to protect our children and prepare them to receive some kind of academic or athletic recognition, than most likely we are parenting out of fear. Why? Because deep down we’re scared if they don’t succeed. We feel like we’ve failed as parents. So we work hard to prepare our children to make the grade or make the team so we would look good. It’s like our children are little trophies that we, as Paul Tripp says, “secretly want to display on the mantels of our lives as visible testimonies to a job well done” (Age of Opportunity, p.35).

If we were honest, we would admit that much of our parenting is motivated by fear. That’s what keeps us from lightening up and letting go of the reins. And what’s more, as Christians we spend so much time protecting our children from the world that we fail to prepare them to make a difference in this world. Biblical parenting, however, pictures parents as courageous warriors getting ready to release their children into battle. Psalm 127:4 says:

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior so are the children of one’s youth.

Arrows were made to fly. They can’t sit safely in the quiver or rest on the bow forever. They must be released! That’s what our preparation is ultimately for–to release our children into this world equipped with the gospel of Jesus Christ to serve people for the glory of Christ.

So lighten up all you helicopter parents! (me included). Let go of the reins. Parent your children as God parents you. Protect them, yes. But all the while prepare them … so you can release them … to fly into the battle with the glory of the gospel.

Missional Parenting

Much of our parenting is motivated by fear. Consequently, we’re more concerned with protecting our children from the world than preparing them to make a difference in this world. Gospel-centered, missional parenting is much different. It pictures parents as courageous warriors getting ready to release their children into battle. Psalm 127:4 says,

I see missional parenting happening in 3 stages. Of course these stages are fairly fluid with some overlap to be expected.

Gregg Harris says that in the time Psalm 127 was written, there were no arrow factories. Consequently, it took time for each arrow to be crafted with care and precision. The arrow had to have a good sharp tip on one end–that might deal with academic training and biblical instruction; and it had to have a good set of the fletching on the other end–which might apply to discipline. This would provide the arrow with a guidance system. So as parents, we must see ourselves as warriors shaping our young children during their formative years with doctrine and discipline driven by the gospel.

As children grow and mature we must give them opportunities to see the sinful reality of the world around them. Under our guidance and supervision we must expose our children to fallen creation and the crying need for restoration. Instead of an “us vs. them” mentality, we must teach our children to see and serve our culture through the lens of the gospel. We could picture this stage as the arrow being pulled out of the quiver and onto the bow.

Arrows were made to fly. They can’t sit in the quiver or rest on the bow forever. They must be released! Yet the point of release is often the most difficult time in parenting. As Gregg Harris says:

When you aim the arrow and release the arrow, beware–the greatest tension in your relationship with your children will often be just before you release them. Because it feels to the arrow like it’s going backwards when it wants to go forward. The tension is building in the bow, the warrior is aiming, and then there’s the release. From that point on, the guidance system that is in the arrow itself is what keeps it on track.

There comes a time when we must release our children into the battle. This is the purpose of the arrow as well as the purpose of parenting. We cannot be scared of this sinful world. Indeed, this is the world Jesus entered into and told us, “As the Father sent me, so I send you” (John 17:18). So let us follow our Savior with the attitude of a warrior as we prepare our children for the battle.

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Doug Wolter served for eight years as family pastor at LaGrange Baptist Church in Kentucky. He is now senior pastor at Oak Hill Baptist Church in Humboldt, Iowa. He has an amazing wife and three incredible kids who continue to humble him and fill him with joy.  He enjoys drinking coffee, reading, exercising, and blogging at life2getherblog.com.

Discipling through Anger [video]

This part 5 in a series of video interviews about the book Gospel-Centered Discipleship.