Living The Mission

Mission is why we exist as disciples. God’s love inspires us to be missionaries to the world around us. Emil Brunner said, “The church exists by mission just as fire exists by burning.” Mission begins at home, serving in our local church, and reaching our community. As disciples, we have been sent as missionaries to share the Gospel in our present culture and to fulfill the Great Commission.

The church is rooted in the concept of the Missio Dei, which recognizes that there is one mission, and it is God’s mission. The Missio Dei is a Latin theological term that can be translated as "Mission of God." The word missio literally means sent. The church is not an end in itself; the church is sent into the world to fulfill the mission of God.

God is a Missionary

Understanding what it means to be a part of the mission of God begins with understanding that God is a missionary God. The very being of God is the basis for the missionary enterprise. God is a sending God, with a desire to see humankind and creation reconciled, redeemed, and healed. God’s mission can be seen throughout the pages of the Bible and history. Nowhere is the mission of God better understood than in the person and work of Jesus Christ. John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Many Christians and churches teach and preach that missions are something we support or do, such as sending or supporting missionaries in other countries. This was the case 20 to 30 years ago. However, in the 21st century the mission field has come to us.

We live in a post-Christian world where people simply don’t know the gospel anymore. Therefore we are all called to be missional disciples and share in the mission of God. Ed Stetzer says, “Being Missional means actually doing mission right where you are. Missional means adopting the posture of a missionary, learning and adapting to the culture around you while remaining biblically sound.”

Jesus: The First Missionary

Being a missional disciple is simply following the way of Jesus. Jesus Christ was the first and greatest missionary. The Bible tells us that He came from heaven to earth to die for a lost and dying world. The following scriptures reveal how the mission of God was fulfilled through Jesus Christ and how we are called to continue and complete the Missio Dei in our culture.

• Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to accomplish His work." - John 4:34
• "I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me." - John 5:30
• "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me." - John 6:38
• "I know Him; because I am from Him, and He sent Me." - John 7:29
• "And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do thethings that are pleasing to Him." - John 8:29
• "We must work the works of Him who sent Me, as long as it is day; night is coming, when no man can work." - John 9:4
• And Jesus cried out and said, "He who believes in Me does not believe in Me, but in Him who sent Me. And he who beholds Me beholds the One who sent Me." - John 12:44-45
• "For I did not speak on My own initiative, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me commandment, what to say, and what to speak." - John 12:49
• "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who receives whomever I send receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me." John 13:20
• "And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent." - John 17:3
• "For the words which Thou gave Me I have given to them; and they received them, and truly understood that I came forth from Thee, and they believed that Thou didst send Me." - John 17:8
• "As Thou didst send Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world." John 17:18
• Jesus therefore said to them again, "Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you." - John 20:21

Sent on a Mission

As the Father sent Jesus, He also sends us into our time and culture. Mark Driscoll says, “It is imperative that Christians be like Jesus, by living freely within the culture as missionaries who are as faithful to the Father and his gospel as Jesus was in his own time and place.”

We have been chosen by God to live in this time and place in order to fulfill the mission of God. Acts 17: 26-27 tells us that God has determined the exact place and time where we should live so that that men may find Him. It is truly awesome to realize that you have chosen by God to be His representative to this world. It is both a great privilege and great responsibility.

Paul describes our calling in the following way, "we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were entreating through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." - 2 Corinthians 5:20.

Being missional is God’s way of showing the love of His Son Jesus through His church. Christians must strive to always be like Jesus, our perfect example. Jesus said, “the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” - Mark 10:45. This scripture beautifully embodies the task of Christian ministry. To be a disciple is to be a servant. We are to serve and give our lives for others. Serving is the example that Jesus gave; therefore we should follow it.

As the church we are called to care for a lost and dying world that is in desperate need of a savior. Too many times we compartmentalize the different ministries of the church. We have viewed social ministry as something we do on one hand and evangelism on the other. God is calling the church to rediscover the biblical model of holistic ministry.

Jesus met both the physical and spiritual needs of the people He ministered to. As the Body of Christ on earth, we are His representatives to a lost world. Therefore what we do and say are of eternal importance. Being missional disciples is not an either or situation. It means that we care about people’s souls and their bodies. It means that because we care about the gospel we should care about social and environmental issues. Being missional disciples brings all of life together under the banner of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Dr. Winfield Bevins serves as lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, which he founded in 2005.  His life’s passion in ministry is discipleship and helping start new churches. He lives in the beautiful beach community of the Outer Banks with his wife Kay and two daughters where he loves to surf and spend time at the beach with his family and friends. Twitter: @winfieldbevins

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For more on living the mission of Christ, check-out Winfield's book Grow: Reproducing Through Organic Discipleship.

For more free mission resources, see: Relationships First: Reasons it's Difficult to Share Our Faith by Jonathan Dodson and Messy Discipleship Jake Chambers.

Finding Christ in the Family Room

Scripture does not give us an imperative for family worship. This is important to say at the outset so that we are not laying down “sanctification” markers for each other. Having said that, however, we still need to acknowledge that God's Word does command us to teach our children how to love the Lord (Deut. 6) and train them in his discipline and instruction (Ephesians 6:4).

Principles & Methods

Before looking at family worship, it is important to discuss how the Bible gives us principles that we are to take and wisely apply in our particular situation. We should not do this just to go along with the more “sanctified” crowd. No, we are to be realistic about ourselves, our children, our own family culture, our strengths and weaknesses, and then prayerfully and wisely make household decisions. So whether in education, entertainment, clothing styles, family activities, and so on, we look to Scripture for liberties and boundaries and make thoughtful, prayerful choices.

Sometimes, we may find that the choice we made doesn't fit with our individual family, and we should adjust. Either way, when Scripture gives us principles, we should not use our particular application as a measuring rod for other people's devotion to Christ, nor are we to hold it up as the only godly way of living out a particular Biblical principle. This is not relativism. This is called grace. We need to give each other grace to execute these principles differently in the context of our individual families. This is one of the differences between principles and methods.

"Family Worship"

I've prayed for my children throughout pregnancy, during delivery, and over them as babies. Even when we were nominal Christians, we prayed with our children before bed. But I remember distinctly the first time I saw what is known as “family worship.” We had just moved into a new neighborhood and began attending a small Reformed church when a dear family took us under their wings and began mentoring us. They invited us into their home, where we got to see a family living the life of faithful Christians.

I was a green-behind-the-ears stay-at-home mom, desiring to learn what this new role—which I had been kicking against and hoping to avoid—really looked like day in and day out. Even though I had just delivered our third child we felt “new” in our roles because we had at that same time decided to eschew feminism, careerism, and egalitarianism for “the traditional biblical model,” if such a thing was possible.

This family at the time was going through Starr Meade's Training Hearts, Teaching Minds. Their love for each other and the responsiveness of the children to the parents was evident. And so we promptly bought the same book, which is a family devotional based on the Westminster Shorter Catechism. After a few months, our mentor family moved away, but we kept on going with our family worship. We did different books through different seasons. But things kept escalating until we arrived at the point where my husband wrote a family liturgy that we would recite—a liturgy that might be beautiful if done correctly in a church but not fit for family worship. In our zeal for “godliness,” we crushed our children with "family worship."

Tools of Discipleship

Family worship is a tool, and if the parents are tethered to the gospel, it can be a wonderful discipleship tool in the home. However, if this tool is not used wisely it can become a joyless burden to the children. Discernment is required. We should probably think through a few guiding principles as we seek to use the tool of family worship in our homes.

1. A Merciful Perspective

First, we need to remember to be merciful to our children in the area of family worship. Many Christian parents love their children and desire them to grow into Christ followers. This is as it should be, and I praise God for it. But with this comes a temptation that we should be aware of and work to keep in check. We can be so driven by our desires to see our kids saved and sanctified we forget how God deals with us as his children. I think it is helpful to not only think of ourselves as parents but as children—Children of our heavenly Father. If we keep this thought at the forefront of our parenting, it will drive us to be more mindful of their perspective or frame.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. - Psalm 103:13–14

In this Psalm, God is compared to a father who shows compassion on his children. If we are not characterized by compassion to our children, this should cause us to do a 180 degree turn! Scrolling up to verse 8, we are told, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.”

Do we give our children this kind of bountiful grace or do we call them on the carpet for every sin? Do we spend our time chiding them for their wriggly bottoms during family worship or do we adjust our expectations of these little souls remembering our own wriggly bottoms when the Lord is trying to teach us something? Psalm 130:3 says, “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.”

2. Acts of Gentleness

Let us take our parenting cues from our heavenly Father. Does your family have a two year old? Well, maybe he gets his own bedtime prayer and you wait until that little person is asleep instead of forcing a tired toddler to sit still in the lap to “participate” in family worship. A time of day when everyone is excited to be together and involved would be a good time to harness to use for building your children in the Lord (e.g. meal time, prayer time right before bed when most children tend to be more open and willing to be gently shepherded).

Think back to how longsuffering your heavenly Father has been with you. How many of your sins has he forgiven? How long has it taken you to get to where you are right now and how much more time will it take to be formed into the image of Christ? This should correct our expectations of our children and help us enact gentle kindness and longsuffering patience toward them as we use the tool of family worship in our home.

3. Relentless Prayer

Next, we must remember that family worship is only one tool, not the only tool that the Lord can and will use in the life of your child. Don't let it be the end all and be all, which was my temptation and stumbling block. Our heavenly Father is so creative. Every day I am surprised at the manifold ways he works on my children's hearts.

The most potent tool for discipling and reaching the heart of your children is actually prayer. No “family this” or “family that” will ever have the power to transform the lives of the members of the family—only prayer in the name of Jesus. Let us be like the widow who was relentless and persistent, who wouldn't stop going to the judge. (Luke 18:1–8) Let us day and night bombard heaven with prayers for, and often with, our children.

Putting the Worship Back in Family Worship

Having said all this, I do want to note that the Lord does indeed use the methods of family worship. I certainly don't want to discount that, I just want to put it in its proper place. Family worship should not occupy the center. Jesus does. Family worship is a tool that I personally love and believe can bring depth to the spiritual life of a family, when used wisely.

In our case, we now use three different gospel-centered books for family worship. We have five children, and their ages range from 1 to 18. For us, we needed gospel-focused books that would work in a family that has kids of all ages. So we rotate between using The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally-Lloyd Jones, The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski, and Long Story Short also by Marty Machowski.

We are not perfectionists about these books. Sometimes we do one lesson or story. Other times we do more. We give the kids who can read the Bible readings to read to the family. We put the baby to bed first so he isn't a distraction and so we're not spending all our time trying to keep him still.

We also allow the children to choose what they want to pray for. Usually the older ones will pray for global saints and churches, the middle prays for church family members on the church prayer calendar, and our 4 ½ year old just loves to pray for his baby brother.

Now, this is just an example of our method. Don't feel compelled to go follow it. Pray and consider the frame of your children. Maybe what is best for right now is a short prayer in the morning with a verse or something from The Jesus Storybook Bible. There was a time when teaching and reciting the Children's Catechism was fruitful for us, and a time when it was good for us to look elsewhere. Explore different options and don't get caught in that harsh place where the perfect becomes the enemy of the good. Don't be too disappointed if something doesn't work out, keep trying.

Above all, remember that the goal of any of these discipleship tools is to draw that little person's (or big person's) soul to Jesus Christ. We don't need to prove our theological prowess to our children, we just need to show them the same kind of love Jesus shows us.

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Luma Simms (@lumasimms) is a wife and mother of five delightful children between the ages of 1 and 18. She studied physics and law before Christ led her to become a writer, blogger, and Bible study teacher. Her book Gospel Amnesia is forthcoming on GCD Press. She blogs regularly at Gospel Grace.

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For more resources on family worship check-out Winfield Bevin's A Beginner's Guide to Family Worship.

The Gospel Grid

When in the midst of counseling, focused discipleship, sermon prep, or a weighty time of confession with another follower of Christ – if you are anything like me – a moment rises to the surface and you think, "What do I say?" or "What do they need to hear?" or “How do I bring this to the gospel?"

In comes the Gospel Grid. The grid covers four M's:

• Message
• Motivation
• Model
• Means

Working through the grid helps keep the ball rolling by providing a track for your words. And it helps the conversation come back to particular truths and encouragements from the gospel again and again.

Start with:

1. Gospel Message -- What needs to be heard?

The gospel is a word with many words. It's a message, a proclamation of truth. Here we ask ourselves the question, "What do they need to hear?" Volumes could be said, but what will be particularly helpful to this situation and to their heart?

Gospel Identity

In Message, we are appealing to the earth shattering, veil-tearing truths of our gospel identity. Remind people that they are:

• New creations (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• Freed from sin (Galatians 5:1)
• Adopted (Romans 8:15)
• Forgiven (1 John 2:12)
• Loved (Romans 5:8)

Before cooking up a slab of good advice, put the good news on the grill and watch the aroma of Christ fill the room. If we are diligent to remind the saints that the Son of God suffered in their place, not begrudgingly, but with joy, to forgive them of this sin – joy is not far away. Gospel focus will harp on belief before behavior. Good news before good advice. Beholding before behaving.

Jesus' Identity

Remind people of Jesus' identity. It is vital to think rightly of Jesus. Without him, we can’t think rightly of ourselves.

Jesus is our friend and our Lord. He is the Cosmic King, and he’s closer than our skin. We ought to fear him, but should never be afraid of him. The gospel is meant to humble us. And part of the gospel is the glory due Jesus. The glory of Christ needs to take hearts and minds hostage. Jesus is to be exalted over all things in our lives. We have not been given names at which every knee will bow (Philippians 2:9-11).

Gospel-centered discipleship should always resound with the person and work of Jesus. No one can hear too often that Jesus is our great God and Savior, he has made us his people, and he is purifying us for his glory and our good (Titus 2:13-14).

I’ll never forget hearing another pastor confess pain and heart ache to Ray Ortlund. Ray looked into his eyes and began with, “Brother, Jesus loves you.” Powerful.

2) Gospel Motivation -- What needs to be done and why?

Message focuses on right thinking. Motivation hones in on right doing for the right reasons. Here we are asking the question, "What needs to be done?” in accordance with a gospel-driven motive.

Kill Sin

Do they need to go ask someone for forgiveness? Do they need to forgive? The gospel compels us to seek and grant forgiveness with one another as God in Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Confession and repentance is essential in all discipleship, but especially if we want to be gospel-centered.

What sin(s) need to be brought the chopping block of mortification?  The gospel reveals to us that we are no longer our own, but that we belong to Jesus. And now we make it our aim to honor and please him (1 Corinthians 6:20; 2 Corinthians 5:9). Encourage them to flee sin, not simply to avoid getting in trouble, but to enjoy God and glorify Jesus.

I’ve heard Christians say, “I’m waiting to be freed/released/saved from ______.” The satanic forces conjured up that formula. Christians are not waiting to be freed sin. Here’s why – a man from Galilee once screamed, “It is finished.”

Paul writes:

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. (Romans 6:6-14)

So why should we flee sin? We’ve been brought from death the life. Why won’t sin bully us any longer? We’re under grace.  The chains don’t need re-breaking. We need renewed minds (Romans 12:1-2).

Cultivate Good Works

In discipleship, it is common to focus on the things we shouldn’t do – but gospel soaked discipleship also explains what we should do.

Encourage disciples to flee sin – yes and amen! – and invite them to the good works that Jesus has prepared (Ephesians 2:10). What was Jesus’ motivation in his life and ministry? “Hallowed be your name…” Ours? “Hallowed be your name.” And through their serving “God may be glorified through Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 4:10-11)

Ask the disciple if there is someone to serve as they have been served? Is there someone to go and encourage? Are they living on mission with a passion to see others worship Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:20-21).

Gospel motivation seeks to mortify sin and cultivate good works with a constant gaze on the person and work of Jesus, “to let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel Christ” (Philippians 1:27).

3) Gospel Model -- How should it be done?

Here we focus on attitudes, tones, postures, and the heart. The gospel gives the reason (motivation) and the rhythm (model).

How should a husband and wife relate? In accordance with the model God provides in the gospel – Jesus and his Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Is the disciple pursuing community with the people that God obtained with his blood (Acts 20:28)? Jesus didn’t only buy people; he bought a people, a body, The Church.

Are they practicing humility in all corners of life? Jesus is the definition of humility. Philippians 2:1-11 extols the striking humility of Jesus; and that Christians should “have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus [emphasis added] (v.5).”

All Christian virtue is modeled and made known to us by the person and work of Jesus. If we want to be more loving, humble, and selfless – there is nowhere better to look than the cross (John 15:13).

The Proverbs are a wonderful, but often abused, section of Holy Scripture. They are more than quick-and-witty tips to living right. The Proverbs are details into the life of Jesus, who is our Wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:24, 30), that we can now live because of Jesus.

4) Gospel Means -- How will it be done?

Up to this point everything sounds all fine and dandy, but a question looms. The disciple will wonder it – you’ve thought it too. “How am I going to change and do all this? I fail often. I struggle. I want to change and grow but my goodness – this seems beyond me.”

Assure them, “You are right. This is beyond you – way beyond you. But not Jesus.”

We cannot forget our gospel means. Without this truth, our discipleship will be nothing more than mega-ton yokes.

Gospel-centered discipleship clutches to the words, “It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). Remind the disciple that Jesus is alive in them. The same power that rose Jesus from the dead – a.k.a. God – has setup shop in their body. He is tinkering, sanctifying, and empowering them to live anew. Whatever God demands he also supplies.

The means, muscle, capacity, and know-how of the Christian life are not in us; but in Jesus. And if we are in Christ and Christ in us, the power for the Christian life is now in us. The Holy Spirit of God is rumbling through our lives – and he will bear fruit.  Christians work in concert with the Spirit of Christ (Philippians 2:12-13).

In gospel means we are moving the disciples eyes away from sola bootstrapa and towards solus christus – Christ Alone. Do they believe that apart from him they can’t do a single thing (John 15:5)? Gospel-centered disciples admit total reliance upon Jesus. And it leads to a plea, a prayer for help.

“Jesus, apart from you I cannot do _______. I cannot be ________. I need you. I need your strength, power, and righteousness. Help me Lord.  Renew my mind. Do this in me, for your glory and my joy. Amen.”

Putting It all Together

One final example; Pastor Paul said it best.

I have been crucified with Christ (MESSAGE) It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me (MEANS). And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God (MODEL), who loved me and gave himself for me (MOTIVATION). – Galatians 2:20

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Jeff Medders is the Lead Pastor of Redeemer Church in Tomball, TX. He is pursuing his M.Div at Southern Seminary. He and Natalie have one precious little girl, Ivy.  Jeff digs caffeinated drinks, books, and the Triune God. He blogs at www.jeffmedders.org and tweets from @jeffmedders.

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For more in-depth discussion of sharing the gospel, check out Jonathan Dodson's Unbelievable Gospel.

For more free resources on strengthening your witness, read: Jeremy Carr's Impressing the Gospel Through Questions, David Fairchild's Gospel Diagnostic Questions, and Jonathan Dodson's All the Right Answers: Reason it's Difficult to Share Our Faith.

The Unqualified Disciple

When I ask women in our church if they would be willing to invest in a discipleship relationship with a younger woman, I am usually met with hesitation. “Me?” their eyes seem to ask. “Me? Disciple someone else? You must not really know me.  I don’t think I’m qualified.”

The conversations take different forms, but the responses are often the same. Again and again, I hear women voice a sincere doubt that they have anything worthwhile to give. Even if they are willing to give a discipleship relationship a try, deep down they are thinking with something akin to panic, “I’ve got nothing!”

I know how they feel. I feel the same way every Sunday afternoon. I have three young women who come to my house to engage in a small discipleship group. We often discuss what we’re learning from Scripture or a book we’re reading together and how it relates to the gospel and our lives. But every Sunday afternoon, in the couple of hours before they arrive, I hear the same refrain in my head… “Who am I to disciple these girls? I haven’t spent good time with the Lord at all this week. I snapped at my husband this morning and am irritated with one of my children for not sweeping the floor. I’ve got these girls showing up in 30 minutes to a dirty kitchen, and I haven’t even read my chapter yet! Lord… I’ve got nothing!”

The Unqualified Disciple

How do I answer the women in my church, when I know exactly how they feel? When they express doubt about their qualifications, I’m tempted to say, “That’s not true! You’ve got a great marriage and are raising some stellar kids. You’re hospitable and easy to talk to. You’ll be fine!”

Though my praise might convince them, that response won’t do. It certainly doesn’t help me on Sunday afternoons when I feel neither great nor hospitable. I’ve had to go to the Scriptures to search out the truth. What does God’s Word have to say about how we feel?

To some degree, what we are feeling is true. We don’t have anything, in ourselves, to give. We see in the Scriptures that our hearts are deceitful and desperately sick and even beyond our ability to understand them (Jer. 17:9). We also see that anything we call righteousness basically amounts to a bunch of dirty rags that are only fit for the fire (Isaiah 64:6). In fact, there is not one of us who can claim righteousness on our own (Psalm 14:3). Jesus tells us unequivocally, “apart from me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5). So if we’re trying to dredge up righteousness and truth from inside ourselves in order to give that away to others, it’s true. We’ve got nothing.

God's Qualifications

I think Moses felt the same way. When God approached him in the wilderness and instructed him to go and speak to the most powerful man in the land, Moses must have lifted his eyebrow just as I’ve seen the women in my church do. He said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” (Ex. 3:11) Moses was wanted for murder and had been tending sheep for most of his adult life. I’m sure inside he was screaming, “Me?!?  I’ve got nothing!”

But God doesn’t assure Moses of his qualifications as I’m tempted to do with the women I talk to. No, on the contrary. God assures Moses of God’s qualifications. God answers Moses’ question of “Who am I?” with a resounding “I AM.” This is the response we need to hear.

When women raise their eyebrows and express doubt about discipleship, my job is not to convince them that they are equal to the task. My job is to convince them that God is equal to the task. “You’re right,” I need to reply, “You’ve got nothing.  Neither do I.  But God has everything.”

We can’t forget that we’re branches. By ourselves, we will bear no fruit. Worse than that, we will die. But attached to the vine, we feed off the life of Jesus and become healthy, bushy branches, laden with fruit to nourish others. Attached to the vine, we have a lot to give.

Jesus says it this way, “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples” (John 15:8). And as we bear fruit, we share that fruit and make more disciples, all the while bringing glory to the Father. You’ve got nothing, you say? Oh, no. If you’re attached to the vine, you’ve got everything.

Gospel Opportunities

The hesitancy that we feel when it comes to engaging in a discipleship relationship is real. We know ourselves better than anyone. We know our past mistakes and our current failings. We think that these disqualify us from leading anyone in discipleship, but actually the reverse is true. Our very hesitations are gospel opportunities.

When we remember that we’re branches, we remember that what is flowing through the branch is the life of Jesus, the gospel itself. The gospel! The good news! The gospel reminds us that we don’t have to live a perfect life in order to engage in discipleship. Jesus lived the perfect life in our place. He died to take the punishment for all our mistakes and failings. Then, praise God, he rose from the dead, canceling our debt and disarming the power of sin in our lives. This is what we give to others in discipleship: the good news of the gospel!

So next Sunday afternoon, things are going to look different at my house. When I look around at my dirty floor and my unread chapters, I am going to remind myself of something. I am not giving these girls myself, I am giving them Jesus. I am not attempting to present to them a perfect life, but Jesus’ perfect life. My goal is not to show them how to do everything right, but to apply the gospel when we do everything wrong.

When I hear the familiar refrain, “I’ve got nothing!”  I will reply with certainty, “If you’ve got the gospel, you’ve got everything.”

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Lindsay Powell Fooshee is married to John, a pastor and church planter with Acts 29.  They are raising 3 great kids in East Tennessee, soaking up the joys of toddlers and teenagers at the same time.  Lindsay holds an M.A. in Christian Thought from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and enjoys teaching and writing about what’s she’s learning.  She is passionate about discipleship and blogs regularly about it here.

Inerrancy and Worldview - Excerpt

Religious Gullibility

Let us now consider one more challenge to the Bible, namely, skepticism about religion. Some skeptics consider religious belief to be a symptom of gullibility or psychological weakness. The skeptics might say that people have religious beliefs either because they do not ask critical questions about religious claims or because they are psychologically weak and feel a need for a crutch. They want the support and comfort of religious belief, which imparts meaning to their lives.

If this principle of gullibility holds for religious belief in general, the skeptic maintains that it also holds for Christian belief and for the religious claims made in the Bible. Skeptics conclude that the Bible is bogus.

What do we say about this skepticism toward religious beliefs? Skepticism with respect to the distinctive claims of any one religion over against the others makes it natural for people to wonder about all religions together.

The Materialist Explanation of Religious Belief

In addition, a materialistic worldview may exert an influence. Materialism says that either God does not exist or he is essentially irrelevant. It thereby debunks religion because most religions claim that God or gods are vitally relevant. Moreover, since materialism rejects the idea of direct divine interaction with human beings, it looks for purely material causes for religious belief. Beliefs must arise from some structures in the brain, structures that in the end are a product of a long process of evolution. Materialists hope that eventually scientific research will show how such structures can all be associated with some practical, life-enhancing function. General intelligence, for example, helps human beings to get food, protect themselves from harm, and survive to the next generation. Religious belief, like shared beliefs of other kinds, can enhance the unity of a human social group, and that in turn may help the group to act cooperatively and so survive to the next generation. The materialist concludes that religious beliefs are not true, but arise merely because they have been pragmatically useful in the evolutionary struggle for survival. They are a kind of accidental by-product of structures in the brain that natural selection favored for other, unrelated reasons.

This kind of materialistic explanation of religious belief has a considerable plausibility in our time because materialism itself is widespread and lends its support. In addition, materialism carries with it some of the prestige of natural science. But the debunking explanation based on materialism has a notable flaw: it can easily prove too much. A similar argument can be used against all beliefs whatsoever. If beliefs are the product merely of chance evolution, they exist because they are useful for survival,not because they are true. They are a product of our brain structures, not ultimately a product of weighty evidence in favor of their truth. When this principle is followed consistently, it leads to the conclusion that beliefs in general must be debunked. And that includes belief in materialism, belief in evolution, and belief in brain structures. The debunker ends up with no grounds on which to stand to do his debunking.

Gullibility

Skepticism about religious belief should, nevertheless, not be dismissed too quickly. It is a counterfeit, which means that it is close to the truth. It has seen some things to which we do well to pay attention.

Why are some people so gullible about religion? If we like, we can expand the category of religious belief to include not only traditional religions but also “spirituality.” People go to fortune-tellers, or they try to contact the spirits of the dead, or they try to establish spiritual communion with the trees. Why do people do such things? We can find people today who in ordinary issues show themselves to be sensible, but who have weird ideas about spirituality.

The ancient societies around the Bible showed similar symptoms. Why did the ancient Greeks believe in their gods? The Greek legends told of immoral activities among the gods, and Socrates could challenge the validity of the legends merely by pointing out the obvious fact that the alleged immoralities were unworthy of real gods.

People often seem to be more gullible in spiritual matters than elsewhere. They are more gullible about the gods than they would be if a seller tried to cheat them in the marketplace or their child tried to lie his way out of a tight spot.

Deep Personal Needs

At least three characteristics of fallen human nature help to explain this gullibility. We long for deep significance, for safety, and for assurance, particularly when it comes to the big questions of life. These longings go back to creation. God created human beings in his image. He designed that they would have fellowship with him. God met with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. According to this plan, God himself gave them significance not only by creating them, but also by giving his personal love to each of them. This fellowship would have continued if Adam and Eve had not rebelled. God would have had fellowship with each person. God would have provided safety partly by holding out for the long-range future the promise of eternal life in his presence. But in the world before the fall of mankind, he would also have given short-range protection. He committed himself to work for their good, which would include making sure that they had food, work, joy, and physical well-being. Finally, he gave assurance by his instruction to them and by the fact that he was a trustworthy God.

Human beings nevertheless rebelled against God. And ever since we have been looking for substitutes for God. The gods of ancient Greece were one form of counterfeit. Counterfeits must be close enough to the truth to lure people in.

Significance

They lure people in first of all by supplying a counterfeit answer for the longing for significance You are significant when you are connected to something bigger than yourself, particularly if you have a key role to play in that bigger whole. God’s plan was for each person to be significant by being loved by God and loving God in return. In knowing and loving God who is infinite, each person would find supreme satisfaction and supreme meaning for his own life.

A false god offers a substitute for the true God. It claims to answer our longing for meaning by being big enough to give meaning, and by being interested enough in a person to allow him to participate. The longing in people is so strong because it is a corrupt form of longing for God himself. We were created to have fellowship with God, so that the longing originally was a longing for God. But it is corrupted into a longing that people hope to have fulfilled by a false god. Anything that promises to fill their longing—whether an idea, another person, or an idol—may be received gullibly. A person believes and receives because he desperately wants to believe and receive. This kind of longing creates much more tension for many people than cases where the stakes are not as high. Longing for ultimate meaning is more profound than longing for an ice-cream cone.

Or in a scientific investigation, for example, we might want to test whether pumpkin seeds are more likely to sprout and grow well when in contact with pure water or sugar water or water mixed with soil. We may have our opinion, but we are not desperate to have the experiment come out in one particular way. By contrast, when we are dealing with religion and spirituality, we are desperate. The desperation makes us gullible.

Care for Our Situation

A second potential source for gullibility arises not merely from our longings but also from our circumstances. How do we secure safe shelter, good crops, adequate food, a safe sea voyage, healthy children, and so on? Before the fall, God committed himself to bless mankind. But after the fall our situation is mixed. God does supply food (Acts 14:17), but on occasion he may also bring famine (Gen. 41:30–32; Deut. 28:18). People want their situation to be good. They may therefore look to magic, fortune-telling, gods, and religious manipulation of various kinds.

Now and then people may get some favorable result after they have invoked a religious procedure. Perhaps a particular instance of fortune-telling seems to work out. This favorable result seems to them to validate their religious procedure. They long to have some way of controlling their environment. So they persist in religious observance as long as it seems to bring them benefit. According to Greek religion, Poseidon is the god of the sea. So the ancient Greek citizen reasoned that maybe if Poseidon is bribed, he can help with a sea voyage. Aphrodite is the goddess of love, so she can help with love. Ares is the god of war, so he can help win battles. And so on.

The incentive here is to practice religion because it brings tangible benefits. Sure, the practitioner admits, it may not always work, but sometimes it works. And the “sometimes” offers enough incentive to keep up the practice. In fact, when a practice appears not to work, it may become an incentive to redouble one’s efforts. The practitioner thinks, “I need more devotion, bigger sacrifices, more impressive ceremony.” The redoubling of efforts may also include the suppression of doubts. Maybe a particular god can see into one’s mind and he is not pleased with doubts. Even if he is not a mindreader, he can overhear verbal expressions of doubts. And he certainly will not be pleased if the doubts cause someone to slacken in his routine of religious ceremonies. The needs of the situation therefore put pressure on people to be more gullible than usual.

Ultimate Commitments

Finally, people want assurance. They want not just assurance about little things, but assurance from some ultimate rock on which to stand. This rock would be the ultimate commitment that unifies a person’s life. We are designed so that God will be this rock, this ultimate commitment. God designed us in order that we might be committed to him, to “love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deut. 6:5).

When we forsake the true God, we make commitments to ultimates that become substitutes for the true God. In other words, we commit ourselves to counterfeits. We worship them. Worship is an expression of ultimate commitment. The Greeks had their gods whom they worshiped. Modern people may worship money, or sex, or power.

Whatever is ultimate cannot, in the very nature of the case, be weighed against some criterion that would be still more ultimate. If God is ultimate, he is the standard for testing truth, both in matters of religion and in everywhere else. When we rebel against God, we still must wrestle with issues of truth and certainty. We get nowhere without some criteria. The best criteria derive from the most ultimate allegiance. So the allegiance itself remains unquestioned. People then become gullible in the standards that they use to sift truth and to sift evidence with respect to their ultimate commitment.

If the Greek god Zeus is ultimate, the Greeks as human beings have no right to doubt him or to bring objections against him. Zeus gets a kind of “free ride” in comparison to the normal ways that Greeks might use to sift evidence in lesser issues.

An ultimate commitment of the wrong kind can easily corrupt truth. Some religions have explicitly allowed their adherents to lie whenever a lie would promote their religion. The religion, as ultimate commitment, takes precedence over normal standards for telling the truth. Even when a religion does not say so explicitly, lying becomes a temptation to those who care deeply about their religion. What does a little lie matter when the cause is right—the cause of promoting what the individual thinks is the true religion? And what about bending or concealing truth? For example, high-ranking officials among the Mormons and the Jehovah’s Witnesses have tried to bury uncomfortable facts about failed prophecies that came from the lips of their authorities of past generations.

Money as an Example of Ultimate Commitment

Or consider the modern person who worships money. Let us say that he is a successful businessman.He pours his life into making his business successful because, in a sense, that is his life, driven by greed for more and more money,  and more and more success. With this goal in mind, he may be very critical and careful and sound in the way he inspects and evaluates the processes and products and sales within his business. He is not at all gullible. He will not be taken in by a vendor who makes glowing promises but has a reputation for not delivering the goods. He is a very sensible businessman because he is committed to sensibility for the sake of a larger goal, the worship of money. Money is his ultimate commitment.

But does he ever ask himself whether his ultimate commitment is worth it? Does he ask himself whether money is a worthy object of worship, and how he came to have the devotion that he now holds? Probably not.

If our businessman began to ask too many uncomfortable questions of this sort, he would already show that he was setting sail and shifting his ultimate commitments. Typically, people only wake up to this sort of question when their false god is already failing them so obviously that they can no longer ignore it. The stock market crashes, and the man’s business crashes with it. Or his wife is fed up with his workaholism and files for divorce. Or his teenage son gets into trouble with drugs, and his wife accuses him of not being there for his son. Or he achieves so much success that he realizes he ought to be satisfied and yet is not. Money does not actually give deep satisfaction in his heart. Until questionings of this kind arise, a person who worships money can be gullible about his ultimate commitment.

Did the same sort of gullibility arise with the ultimate commitments of people in the ancient world? What about the people who worshiped the gods of ancient Greece or ancient Babylon? Of course they too may have fallen into gullibility. It is in the nature of things; it is in the nature of human beings as finite creatures who have the capacity for personal commitment. Ultimate commitments are, after all, ultimate.

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Vern Sheridan Poythress is professor of New Testament interpretation at Westminster Theological Seminary, where he has taught for 33 years. He has six earned degrees, including a PhD from Harvard University and a ThD from the University of Stellenbosch. He is the author of numerous books on biblical interpretation, language, and science.

(Editor's Note: This is an excerpt from Inerrancy and Worldview: Answering Modern Challenges to the Bible by Dr. Vern Sheridan Poythress available on Crossway. It appears here with the permission of the author and publisher.) 

The Opportunity of Doubt

It is human, all too human, to doubt. When we share our faith with our non-Christian friends, we are often skirting the tension between finite understanding and infinite understanding—between the materially possible and the spiritually necessary. Doubt and faith have nothing to say to each other, and yet in this world, they often appear inseparable. For this reason (and by God’s grace), I have felt the Spirit prompting me at times to share my doubts with the folks I disciple. My prayer is that what follows is both a guide to the stormy waters of doubt as well as a clear pointer to the light of Christ shining above the troubled seas of our lives. One Hundred and One Fun Things to do with Doubt

Last football season, I had an extra ticket to a game, and I invited my friend along. We stopped by the grocery store for some beers and sunscreen before heading to the tailgate party. Which is to say, I wasn’t really brooding about Existence right then, but my friend was. As we waited in the check-out line, he started talking about the end of the world: how humans have polluted the land, air, and water; how we’re continuing to do it; how we’re actually increasing our efforts.

Zoom out. We were waiting in line in a noisy, crowded store, and my friend was speaking to one of my most complex, unending despairs. Here’s how the doubt runs in my mind: both the Bible and science indicate that the future isn’t exactly rosy for the earth, and yet one of God’s initial commands was for humans to be stewards of His creation. I can’t help but feel deeply ashamed of the ways my actions contribute to the destruction of the environment.

This doubt stems from a cognitive dissonance: Take care of the Earth versus the Earth will be destroyed. This dissonance is partly responsible for the heated political rhetoric surrounding the environment and sustainability. At any rate, this is what I told my friend. I explained how deep my despair is about this subject, and I didn’t sugarcoat it with some platitude about my beliefs. I was honest. I told him that I have to pray about the Earth every morning. I have to give it back to God. On a cosmic-scale, it’s almost hilarious just how much global climate change is out of my hands, and yet I cannot help but feel responsible.

The beauty is that God doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He doesn’t have to. He knows this planet—He even knows me—far better than I do. By placing my faith in Christ, I align myself not with unthinking religiosity, but with the greatest thinker in the universe. As a result, I am free to act (and sometimes even fail) in pursuing environmental stewardship.

Zoom back in. My friend and I are standing in line to buy junk from the local mega-corporation. (There’s those cognitive dissonances playing out in real life.) But I don’t have to despair. Yes, I think the gospel calls us to help in renewing all creation, but do I always trust that knowledge? No. That’s what I told my friend. The gospel frees me from judgment and empowers me to act (Romans 6:1-2), but I am still compelled to get down on my knees and pray for strength to accept that freedom everyday.

We can open up to our friends about doubt, if we will see past our feelings of despair into our forgiveness in Christ. This frees our witness from both crippling defeatism and self-satisfied legalism. It can season our speech with the salt of critical thought (Colossians 4:6). In other words, the doubts aren’t the key. The key is the compassion found in Christ—that he understands our doubts and still loves us.

With this freedom, my friend and I climbed into my car and drove to our national distraction. Because I followed the Spirit’s promptings to be transparent about doubt, I gained an opportunity to talk about my faith. Honesty about doubt led to a deeper conversation about faith.

Doubts and the Doubting Doubters who Doubt Them

In Christ, there is no real reason for doubt. In Christ, we claim forgiveness, grace, and peace. Through faith in Christ, we possess the power to move mountains. The problem is one of unbelief. Our brokenness, our every sin stems from something we do not fully believe about God, but if we are to share our faith in a genuine way, we must share how God answers our unbelief, how our wayward minds are redeemed in Christ, how our troubled souls find rest and overflowing grace in the Holy Spirit.

When sharing a doubt with your friends, avoid the language of ownership (if possible). More importantly avoid self-pity about the despair attached to the doubt. Avoid smugness about your faith. The hope is that in disclosing a doubt we can open up a discussion of faith and offer loving words about how God answers our unbelief with grace and courage.

For example, many of my non-Christian friends feel the doubt voiced by logical positivist philosophers like A.J. Ayers. In so many words, they’ll explain that religious language is nonsense because it’s scientifically/empirically unverifiable. While this isn’t my particular brand of doubt, it is certainly one to which many non-Christians cling. But in speaking to them about this doubt, I have not found it helpful to rationally discourse about this philosophical stance. The conversation then caves in on the limits of its own reasonability, resulting at best in a series of metaphysical chess problems.

Rather, when I’m attentive to the Spirit, I’ve learned to take a step back and remember my own feelings of doubt—how they create such pointless sorrow and anxiety—and I speak to that. In other words, when we’re in tune with the Spirit, we speak from the heart to the heart (not necessarily from the mind to the mind).

The Division of the Individual

That’s all good and fine for sitting at the café chatting with our friends. What do we do when doubt gets personal? For example, what of the militant doubts that point out the uncounted atrocities that have been committed in the name of religious belief?

Again, take a step back and pray. Remember, this is the despair and anguish of unbelief talking. We are not equipped to answer these charges. Fortunately, Christ is. In this example, it may not be a good idea to air your own feelings of unbelief and doubt, but rather speak directly to the pain of the individual with the healing and love you have found in Christ Jesus.

Here’s the funny thing about faith. We all have it. It takes a certain amount of faith simply to be convinced that my “self” or anyone else exists. Interestingly, folks don’t typically assign this aspect of faith any religious meaning. It’s simply “who we are.” But, in the total absence of faith, who are we really? There are statistics that speak to those who lose this last hold-out of faith, and they aren’t pleasant. Without some small amount of faith, we would begin to doubt the very substance of our being.

This is the critical juncture of how broken we really are. Except for faith, our humanity is literally falling apart. In John’s Gospel, Christ says,  “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5). This is kinda scary stuff for a non-Christian to hear, but God is bigger than those fears. God is bigger than the horrifying things that have been done by ignorant and deceived and broken people in his name. How do I know this? Is it simply wishful thinking? Is God loving only because I say so? No. Christ says that’s all sorts of backwards and upside down.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15:9-12

In other words, when addressing—for example—despair over the atrocities committed in the name of religion, leave everything else and follow Christ. Remind your self and your friend that—according to scripture—nothing has been done in Christ’s true unutterable name that wasn’t also done in love. If an act of “religious belief” was done without love, it was done without Christ, and if it was done without Christ, then it was done without faith. In the absence of faith, all that remains is—not just doubt—but the void, the total dissolution of the God-breathed life inside us.

The critical distinction we must make as disciples of Christ is that our identity and agency do not arise from the formless void gnawing at the base of individual identity. By grace, we are learning to see that the very prospect of this construction of individual self is impossible from its foundation up, hence the terror and pain of those feelings of doubt. But when we take ownership of faith in Christ, then from him flows a new communal identity and a powerful fellowship of agency—the foundation of which is the very center, the unshakable core of all Creation.

Identity Restored

My true identity is in Christ not in myself. In Christ, we stand united with the true meaning of our lives, with our renewed humanity. But for a person hearing this truth for the first time, all this sounds pretty weird. The loss of individual identity? Being united with what? This is when—if I’m in tune with the Spirit—I often hear that still small voice saying, “Share those same doubts you once had… now share how Christ offers so much more.”

Christ is the hinge on which the entire universe turns. Christ is the door that opens to the infinite glory of God. Likewise, the gospel is the key that unlocks our restore identity. The good news is Christ understands our doubts. In Luke’s Gospel, Christ dispels the disciples’ doubts just before his ascension, offering questions that convict me even now: “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see.” (Luke 24:38-39)

My prayer today is to lay my doubts before Christ. To meditate on the wounds he suffered for my sake and find in his cuts and bruises the fullness of grace poured out for my sake. What doubt can withstand this flood of mercy? May the Holy Spirit guide the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts toward healing the sickness and pain of unbelief in ourselves and in those we disciple!—that we might sing of the peace and restoration found only in our redeemer Christ Jesus.

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Ben Roberts is the Managing Editor of Gospel Centered Discipleship, a member of Austin City Life, and a follower of Christ. He lives in an amazingly ugly house with his wife (Jessica), son (Solomon), dog (Charles Bronson II), and two very angry chickens. A graduate of the Michener Center for Writers, he is currently working on a novel. Twitter @GCDiscipleship

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For more on sharing the gospel authentically, check out Jonathan Dodson's Unbelievable Gospel.

Behold the Beauty

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. - 2 Corinthians 3:18

Imagine for a moment that you and the person you have been discipling for a long time are standing on the beach, looking out into the ocean. The sun is setting and it is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. In that moment, you are caught up in the colors of the sky. There is a blend of pink and purple radiating through the cloud formation. It’s stunning. Feelings of gratefulness permeate your heart and mind. You say a quick prayer thanking God for such a beautiful creation.

But you choose not to keep that to yourself. So you turn to your friend to see if he is enjoying the sunset, and you find him on his phone checking the scores of the baseball game. You tell him to quickly look at the sunset because it is beautiful. He tells you to wait a second, because his phone is trying to load the score of the game. You judge him and get perturbed–you don’t want him to miss this! So you challenge him again to look up and see it.

But he’s frustrated at his phone, gets angry, turns his back and sits down. He doesn’t see the beauty of the sunset.

You look back up and find yourself lost in the moment. Then your phone rings...

The Act of Beholding

Paul tells us that, "we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord," are being transformed. There's a massive glory shifting in our lives for the Christian ("one degree of glory to another").

He goes on to tell us that it, "comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." When you repent of sin and trust Christ alone, you go from death to life, sin to Christ's righteousness, unbelief to joy, and deadness to new birth. You change.

But notice what word Paul uses here to qualify this transformation. He says that we are, "beholding" (Greek, katoptrizō). The word here means to "look at something as in a mirror; to contemplate something." John Calvin, in his commentary on this verse, writes that it "sometimes means to hold out a mirror to be looked into, and at other times to look into a mirror when presented...the second of these is the more suitable to the passage before us.” In other words, we look to the Lord to to see ourselves as we truly are.

The Identity of the Beholder

To put it differently, beholding leads to becoming. When we behold something or someone we begin to take on the identity of that object. For the Christian, and for us looking at the sunset, beholding something pushes us to delight in that object. Where our worship is, our hearts will fall in line. A tough question to ask in discipleship is, "What are you looking to for ultimate significance and satisfaction?" Be honest! On Saturday afternoons what are you doing? Obsessing over a sports score? Or discipling your family by talking about the glorious gospel?

And herein lies the challenge: Are you basking in the glory of the Christ of the gospel? Are you as stunned by the gospel as you were by the sunset? Or are you, like your friend, too busy on your phone to see its beauty?

Behold the Beauty of the Gospel

As a pastor I'm convinced that the greatest thing I can do to train disciple-making disciples is to continually point people to the gospel. Surely we understand that the good news is what points us to Jesus and by implication has the power to save us (Romans 1:16). Many, however, fail to see the gospel as what changes, or sanctifies us. I grew up with this understanding. I trusted Christ for salvation and he saved me. But after that, it was all on me to grow as a Christian with my ever-so-fleeting moral effort. How ashamed I feel now!

But what is the role of the beauty of the gospel in discipleship? I think it's like the example of your friend’s interaction. He is working with you in a formal discipling relationship and by pointing him to the beautiful sunset, you’re pointing him to the beauty of the gospel. And oh, how beautiful the gospel truly is! The beauty of the gospel should stun our vision, arouse our emotions, stir our affections, motivate us for mission, and shatter our pride.

You are challenging him to renounce his idols by beholding Jesus (Galatians 6:8). You’re challenging him to grow in his understanding of God's holiness by beholding God (Isaiah 6:1-7). You’re constantly helping him search the Scriptures to better understand his new identity in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). You are, by the help and power of the Spirit, helping your friend appreciate more intimately the beauty of the gospel.

Beauty Over Brokeness

But it's hard to appreciate something when our focus is off. It's hard to see the beauty of the gospel when our hearts are misaligned and worshipping idols. When we worship things that are not God, our hearts become clouded and our judgment misappropriated. We turn our backs on the beautiful sunset and sulk in our idolatry.

And yet the gospel still speaks to us. The gospel, like the sun shining over us, meets us in our depravity. It jumps starts the heart as Christ and his Spirit pursue us. Paul says "this comes from the Lord." In other words, we are responsible for our actions, but at the same time utterly dependent on God who stands ready to receive us as his child (Phil. 2:12-13; cf. Luke 15:20). The good news announced by Jesus is news that is good every single day. (Sometimes we simply fail to believe that the news is good!) We can, in confidence, turn to Jesus who loves unconditionally. As it has been said before, we worship our way into sin, and we worship our way out by beholding the beauty and grandeur of the gospel.

And that's the role of the beauty of the gospel: to be the object our affections, the purpose of our identity, the reality of our existence, and the joy of our salvation. It draws us in like a beautiful sunset, puts God’s glory on display, and challenges us to realign everything. In discipleship, we are simply pointing people to its beauty, asking them to find happiness there.

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Jason M. Garwood (M.Div., Biblical Theological Seminary) serves as Lead Pastor of Colwood Church in Caro, MI. Jason and his wife Mary have two children, Elijah and Avery. Jason enjoys theological banter, good pizza, tinkering around on the iPad and fighting for joy. He blogs at the Storied Jesus. Connect with him online: facebook.com/jasongarwood. Twitter @jasongarwood

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For more resources on disciple-making, check out Jonathan Dodson's The Unbelievable Gospel.

A Gospel for the Muslim

We desperately need a “gospel for the Muslim.” Now, to be clear, to say that we seek a “gospel for the Muslim” does not mean that there are a variety of gospels. But just as Paul talked about Peter’s commission of the “gospel for the Jew” and his own commission of the “gospel for the Gentile” (Gal 2:7), so also do we need a gospel presentation that is tailored to the questions Muslims are asking. There is one gospel by which both Muslim and non-Muslim must be saved, but it must at times be expressed differently so that each can more readily grasp it. Three words describe the current Western approach to the gospel: formula, forgiveness, and death. We present the gospel as a formula, a series of propositions about God, which addresses our need for forgiveness from guilt, and which summarizes the means of attaining that forgiveness, the death of Jesus.

While such a presentation accurately reflects aspects of the gospel, a more effective strategy among Muslims might focus on three “new words:” story, cleansing, and victory.

Instead of presenting the truth of the gospel propositionally as a formula, we ought simply to let the story of Scripture unfold. Muslims rarely come to faith in Christ through apologetic arguments and dogmatic proof-texting, but they often come to faith in Christ by studying the major stories of the Bible and encountering the gospel there.

Instead of presenting the work of Christ in terms of forgiveness, we can emphasize the cleansing power of the gospel. Muslims understand the need for purification; they undergo a process of ritual cleansing, called wudu, every time they pray. Such a cleansing is only external, but Christ offers wudu for the soul.

Instead of presenting the death of Christ merely as a point of weakness, we should point to the victory inherent in Christ’s work on the cross. Every time Muslims pray, they say that God is the “most powerful” and the “most merciful.” Is not the cross the greatest demonstration of those two attributes? What greater demonstration of power is there than a God who overcame sin and death? God’s greatness is actually shown in His humility. As Gregory of Nazianzus said, “The strength of a flame is shown by its ability to burn downward.” And what greater demonstration of mercy is there than in Christ’s death and resurrection? The God of the universe conquered sin and death in order to redeem us for Himself, through no merit of our own.

The Bible, from cover to cover, is the story of a victorious God who cleanses us so that we might live with Him.

Muslims Misconceptions about Christians:

Many obstacles stand in the way of Muslims coming to faith in Jesus—theological differences, the danger of conversion, and the sheer fact that most Muslims have simply never heard the gospel. Some of the more surprising obstacles, however, arise in the misconceptions that Muslims have about Christians. During the two years I spent serving in a conservative Muslim country, I repeatedly encountered variations of two common misconceptions: 1. Christianity is morally corrupt. 2. “The West” and “The Church” are synonymous. Being familiar with these two misconceptions can help as we engage Muslims for the gospel.

1. Christianity is morally corrupt.

MTV was huge in the part of the world I lived. Western music videos frequently featured rap stars or scantily clad women wearing crosses. My Muslim friends assumed, naturally enough, that these were Christians and that their behavior was typical of Christians. Upon telling people I was a Christian, I often received the response, “Oh, you are a Christian—like Bill Clinton!” This was during the peak of Clinton’s impeachment, so the comparison was meant to conjure up images of either adultery or perjury . . . or both. Not a savory comparison.

I was once even asked by one of my friends, a Muslim college student, if I would throw her a “Christian” birthday party. When I asked what she meant, she replied that she wanted a party with a lot of booze and racy dancing, just like she had seen on television. Misunderstandings like hers, sadly, are the norm and not the exception.

While this misconception continues to irk me, I find it helpful to know that it exists. Most Muslims assume that Christians are unabashedly immoral. Of course, we can—and should—respond to this misconception by allowing our lives to refute it, by showing that Christians do not encourage flagrant debauchery. In the end, though, it is beneficial simply to keep this misconception in mind as we minister among Muslims.

2. “The West” and “The Church” are synonymous.

Most Westerners have grown up with a notion of the “separation of church and state,” and it is jarring for us to learn that Muslims rarely make such a distinction. Islam is, in its very nature, a political entity as well as a religious one, complete with its own social law codes. There is no parallel Muslim concept of the “separation of mosque and state.” So when Muslims look at Western nations like the USA, Germany, France, or the UK, they see “Christian countries.” Our presidents are assumed to be Christian leaders, and our political policies are assumed to be reflective of church policy. What the US does, the Church does. I was once asked, for instance, why “the Church” bombed Iraq.

This may be difficult for many of us, but we need to learn to put our patriotism aside. We only have enough bandwidth to represent a certain number of issues, and it is simply not worth it to sacrifice a gospel platform for the sake of defending American political decisions. I was recently told by a Turkish Muslim that “all of the problems in the world are caused by America.” Do I agree with him? No. But is this where I want to stand my ground? No. For the sake of the gospel, our patriotism must die when we serve in Muslim countries.

How Muslims Come to Faith in Christ

Muslims worldwide who come to faith in Christ consistently identify one of three factors leading to their conversion (or a combination of these three).

1. A copy of the Bible is placed in their hands.

When I first arrived in Southeast Asia, a “win” for me was a Muslim converting to Christianity. This got to be a little disheartening after a while, and wasn’t providing me with as many “W”s as I would have liked. So I down-graded, and sharing the Four Spiritual Laws became my new “W.” Defining things this way helped me feel more successful, but it did not lead to greater fruitfulness.

Rather than defining your “W” as conversion or sharing the message, make your “W” getting Muslims to study the Bible with you.

A friend of mine, “Danny,” found this out after spending nearly two years debating with a Muslim friend, “Solomon.” Through the course of their friendship, Solomon told Danny that his arguments had not convinced him to be a Christian, but to be a better Muslim! Exasperated, Danny asked Solomon to read through the book of John, and Solomon obliged.

As Solomon read through the gospel, the words pierced his heart in a way that none of Danny’s arguments had. He read and re-read the Gospel of John, and soon came to faith in Jesus. What inspired this change was his exposure to the Word of God.

The Word of God is powerful. Let the Holy Spirit use the Bible to do the work of winning hearts to Christ. As Charles Spurgeon said, the Bible is like a caged lion. We do not need to defend it; we simply need to let its power loose.

2. They see the love in a Christian community.

The Muslim community, or ummah, is close-knit, but it is built on shame and reciprocity. Those who leave the ummah face ostracism, persecution, or even death. Christians can offer an alternative community, one founded on grace, acceptance, and forgiveness. Most Muslims have never seen this, even in their own families.

It saddens me to think of the thousands of Muslims who come to the United States for university education. Most of these Muslim students will never step foot in an American home. They would go if invited, but few ever receive an invitation. This is a tragedy.

I recently had a debate with a Muslim scholar, and afterwards he was telling me about another debate he had recently with a religion professor from Duke. “I do not like the guy from Duke,” he said. When I asked why, he answered:

“I am more of a ‘Christian’ than he is. I believe more of the Bible than he does. Every time something was brought up from the Bible, he would apologetically explain it away. Your Christian world has two choices: the Duke professor, who doesn’t believe but is charitable, or the angry, hateful conservative. Many Christians won’t go toward liberalism, so they feel they have no choice but hatefulness. What they need is you. You believe every word of the Bible, but you have a generous spirit toward Muslims.”

3. They are visited with a supernatural dream or vision.

I am naturally skeptical of supernatural dreams and visions. But I have seen too many Muslims come to faith as a result of dreams and visions to deny that it is a work of God. For whatever reason, God often uses supernatural dreams to push Muslims to investigate Jesus, to find a Christian, or to read the Bible.

This should humble us and remind us that the power for salvation comes from God alone. When we do not know what else to do, we ought to pray. Pray for your Muslim friends. Pray with them as well. Then stand back and give God a chance to work.

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J.D. Greear and his beautiful wife Veronica live in Raleigh and are raising four ridiculously cute kids: Kharis, Alethia, Ryah and Adon. He is the lead pastor of the Summit Church and author of Breaking the Islam Code and  Gospel: Recovering the Power that Made Christianity Revolutionary. Twitter: @jdgreear

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For more resources on teaching and preaching the gospel, check-out Tony Merida's new book Proclaiming Jesus.

Kids in the Family of God - Part Two

(Editor’s Note: This is the second part of a three part series entitled Kids in the Family of God. Here is Part One and Part Three.) Kids Ministry: Equipping Parents

The focus of a kids ministry shouldn’t actually be kids. The focus of a kids ministry should be parents. Whether kids are in preschool or high school, the same principle applies. Churches and leaders who put time, effort, money, resources, and intentionality into equipping parents instead of putting on a show for children accomplish two significant things: they work toward developing the whole-life spiritual maturity of the children, and they put parents back in the place the Bible places them. Let me explain both concepts.

Developing a Child’s Whole Life

Generally, churches with Sunday-focused kids ministries spend 50-100 hours per year (of the 8,760 hours in the year) with kids. Minus vacations, sickness, and other reasons to miss, trained workers teach kids biblical concepts for an hour or two on Sundays, and very intentional churches might host a second age-specific gathering sometime during the week. In those few hours, trained leaders must cram in entertainment (crafts or games depending on kids’ ages), sometimes music, sometimes a snack, and according to nearly every curriculum we surveyed over 18 months, a Bible story that immediately transfers into a life lesson. “Discipleship and growth” become limited to a few hours a month, and generally become limited to one “style”: in a group, with lots of energy, listening to a teacher teach a broad lesson.

But what happens in the rest of a child’s week when the teacher isn’t there? Who hears about getting made fun of on the playground? Who’s there to encourage the student in the midst of a specific high school struggle? At minimum, if a child is in school until 4pm and goes to bed at 8pm, parents interact with their kids 1460 hours a year! Parents see the daily struggles. Parents have conversations in the car. Parents are asked the hard questions. Parents deal with the specifics, the scenarios, the struggles, the sins. Parents meet their child - every single day - where the real-life rubber hits the road.

Those are the moments where faith is tested and proven. Those are the instances where stories and concepts break down. Those are the times where reality is faced and decisions are made. Why wouldn’t we pour all effort into the people who are there in those moments? That’s the idea of developing a child’s whole-life – kid ministry leaders and missional community facilitators don’t see a kid’s whole-life, so they can’t develop a kid’s whole-life.

Putting Parents in Their Place

The fact that parents are with their kids more than church leaders isn’t a scary concept, and the fact that church leaders can’t develop a child’s whole-life isn’t a bad reality: it’s biblical! Throughout the Bible, God says that parents are the primary disciplers of their children. This concept is most clearly seen in Deuteronomy 6, as God gives one of the most well-known and beloved commands in the entire Hebrew scriptures:

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. - Deuteronomy 6:4-7

It’s generally understood that the first half of this command is the primary belief in Hebrew theology. It’s a big one: “God is one, and you must love him with your entire being.” The rest of the Bible shows how to do that, and indeed, the rest of Deuteronomy contains many of the 613 commandments that make up the Old Testament Law. But notice the second half of this passage: God doesn’t tell his people to farm spiritual instruction out to “experts.”

And he doesn’t command them to limit it to a few hours, in a controlled setting, like parents often do today. “YOU shall teach them diligently to your children…” Who should? “YOU! Any reader of this passage. Every parent is instructed to teach God’s Law to your children!” And the venue for this spiritual instruction is in the midst of everyday life and activity: when you sit, when you travel, when you go to bed, when you get up. In the midst of normal activity, a child’s whole-life spiritual development occurs.

Parents, this principle isn’t isolated in the OT; it’s echoed throughout the Bible: you are the primary disciple-maker of your children. Giving that responsibility to “the church” is to abdicate your biblical role. That’s a dangerous place to be.

Church leaders, when you focus on entertaining children instead of training their parents, you potentially prevent parents from fulfilling their biblical command, and you unintentionally limit children’s spiritual development. That’s a dangerous place to be.

Churches, Equip Parents to Train Their Children

The best kids ministry is the one that equips parents to disciple their children well. Train parents in the gospel and the Bible, resource them to overcome their fears and inadequacies, equip them to teach their kids in both objective and situational circumstances, then come alongside them as a family and support them in their biblical role. That’s a biblical, healthy kids ministry.

How’s this look practically? My church has tried different ideas for the past two years, but here’s some of what’s happening now, and what’s in development:

1. Our youngest kids follow the weekly rhythm of “parents – church gathering – missional communities” for objective biblical training: every week our kid ministry leader sends a Bible story, memory verse, and questions to parents. Parents read and discuss the stories, verses, and questions with their kids before Sunday, so that parents are the first to introduce biblical stories and concepts to their children. Then at church gathering, kids have the passages reiterated by kid ministry leaders, allowing them to see that other adults believe the same thing as their parents. In this way, the church comes alongside parents to support the material parents have taught their kids. Finally, the missional community comes alongside parents in reinforcing the same scriptures - with new questions and activities - as young kids have their own discussion in community meetings. Every concept is taught three times, and the church first resources parents to be the primary disciplers of these foundational truths, then comes alongside the parents to reinforce and support the teaching.
2. Older kids experience whole-life spiritual development alongside the rest of the church: with kid-specific mentions in sermons and encouragement from small groups, kids first grade and older walk through scripture and regularly hear the gospel and biblical truth address real-life issues, everyday problems, sin struggles, and prayer concerns, alongside the rest of the church family. Many families continue to use the parent and small group resources mentioned above in various settings and discussions as their kids grow through their elementary years.
3. Quarterlies: In our church’s decentralized model of “communities on mission,” we see great benefit in regularly bringing families and kids together based on age. Rather than a programmed, weekly event which is the focus of that age’s ministry, these “quarterlies” are more focused on our “family identity” – we’re simply connecting as a unified church, and meeting other families by age. For kids, these events are starting points for relationships and intentionality; for parents, there’s training, discussion, or the beginning of their own relationships and intentionality. The relationships then overflow into everyday life as families live as “THE family” of God together.
4. Classes and discipleship plans: In addition to the weekly rhythm above, we are beginning to pour resources into equipping parents well, in intentional areas of need. However this looks in your setting, on top of objective Bible knowledge, parents need to be trained in everyday things like…

• Living their biblical role as a parent in today’s culture
• Speaking the gospel on their kids’ level
• Gospel-centered discipline, which plays out differently by age
• Answering needs and situations with the gospel
• How and when to talk to their kids about tough issues well (like faith, sex, puberty, school, college, driving, and many more)
• Dealing with tough parenting decisions well (sin, schedule, schooling, budget, saving for college, etc.)

We’re compiling resources to intentionally train parents on these issues and more, or to eventually develop resources in areas where resources are lacking. We’re also developing a resource to help parents think intentionally through their child’s spiritual development. This “discipleship plan” simply asks parents to take time at least once a year, to consider different areas of their child’s life, faith, patterns, identities - and ask how they hope to see their child grow the following year. Our leaders and the parents’ missional community then comes alongside to help in the child’s discipleship.

God’s Instruction Regarding Kids

My church hasn’t developed and carried out these principles of kids ministry simply because they’re “different” or “cool” – and we certainly don’t do kids ministry like we do because it’s easy! Instead, every idea we have regarding kids in the family of God is found deeply rooted in the picture of God’s family seen in the Bible. All we do is carry out the same principles, as closely as possible, in today’s context.

A Summary of Children in the Family of God

Here are four principles we see in the Bible, with a few verses (among others) in which the principle is seen clearly. All verses ESV; italics added throughout:

1.    Parents are the primary disciplers of their children

• Deuteronomy 6:4-7: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
• Proverbs 1:8-9: “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
• Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
• Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (echoed in Colossians 3:21)

2.   Children are specifically addressed, and are found in the gatherings of God’s people, throughout the Bible

• Deuteronomy 31:12-13: “Assemble the people, men, women, and little ones, and the sojourner within your towns, that they may hear and learn to fear the LORD your God, and be careful to do all the words of this law, and that their children, who have not known it, may hear and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as you live in the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess.”
• Nehemiah 8:1-2: “And all the people gathered as one man into the square before the Water Gate. And they told Ezra the scribe to bring the Book of the Law of Moses that the LORD had commanded Israel. So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, both men and women and all who could understand what they heard, on the first day of the seventh month…”
• Psalm 78:4, speaking of the Law: “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done…”
• 1 John 2:13: “I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, children, because you know the Father.”

3.   Jesus valued children, even – or especially! – when they were distracting/unwanted

• Mark 10:13-16: “And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them…”
• Matthew 18:2-7, 10: “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!’ …See that you do not despise one of these little ones.”
• John 6:8-9, as Jesus prepared to feed the 5000: “One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?”

4.   There are things about God’s kingdom that only children can teach us

• Matthew 11:16-17, 25: “But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their playmates, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn’…At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children…”
• Matthew 18:2-4: “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven…”
• Matthew 21:16: “…and they said to him, ‘Do you hear what these are saying?’ And Jesus said to them, ‘Yes; have you never read, “Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise’?”
• Mark 10:15: “Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

What do these passage lead to?

When we add to these principles the “family” imagery that runs throughout the Bible – especially the New Testament (it’s in nearly every book), and when we add the fact that, for the first 1900+ years of church, there was no separate “kids ministry,” we get the principles our church follows, as we try to raise kids in the family of God:

1.    We believe that children, as young as is logical, should be included in the normative activity of the church family

2.   We believe that as often as possible, families should worship together

3.   We believe in setting high expectations for our children

4.   We believe in equipping parents and the church to minister well  to children

Thanks for learning with us how, by following the examples of scripture and history, all believers can try to raise kids in the family of God.

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Ben Connelly lives in Fort Worth, TX, with his wife and daughter (with another on the way this fall). He started The City Church in 2010 and lives on mission by teaching public speaking at TCU. Ben sits on the board of a few city-focused organizations, trains occasionally across the country, and writes at benconnelly.net. Twitter: @connellyben

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Parents, for more resources on discipling your children at home, check out Winfield Bevin's Beginner's Guide to Family Worship.

Transformative Grace

One of the most helpful and practical discipleship concepts that I’ve learned came from a seminary professor who was describing the difference between what he called “excusive grace” and “transformative grace.” In brief, “excusive grace” is what happens when we easily shrug off irresponsibility and unfaithfulness in others by saying, “That’s OK. It’s really not a big deal.” This seems incredibly gracious, but it represents a soft attitude that can enable sin patterns in others’ lives.

Before I describe “transformative grace,” let me add my own third image to the scene that was being described by my professor. This category, which I call “militant ‘grace’,” is one that I’ve often observed in the world of discipleship. Militant “grace” (which often really isn’t grace at all, thus the quotation marks) responds to irresponsibility and unfaithfulness with a boot camp attitude that screams, “My way or the highway. Call me when you grow up.” This philosophy has a good heart behind it (a standard to be attained), but the line-in-the-sand is often drawn arbitrarily and individual situations aren’t taken into account in a loving way.

If these first two options are extremes at either end of a spectrum—excusive grace on the soft end and militant grace on the hard end—“transformative grace” is a more gospel-centered approach that falls somewhere in the middle and should be the aim of our discipleship relationships.

The Ends and Means of Grace

Transformative grace enjoys the understanding of excusive grace but rejects the cavalier attitude towards maturity, growth, and accountability. Likewise, transformative grace maintains the same goal of militant grace but rejects the path that is taken along the way.

Another way to state this may be to see discipleship as having a means and an end. The end is growth, maturity, and Christlikeness. The means is loving discipleship where life and truth transference happen in the context of real relationships. If this is the case, we should embrace the means of exclusive grace (if the “means” = understanding and love) and reject its end (if the end = no challenge to true growth). We should embrace the end of militant grace (if the end = a strong challenge to true growth) and reject its means (if the means = lack of understanding and love).

Grace Applied

Allow me to illustrate how each of these positions might handle a common discipleship issue.

The Situation: You’re supposed to meet with a guy regularly for about six weeks to walk through a problem he is having. Because of his busy work and family schedule, you decide to meet for breakfast at a local restaurant on Wednesday mornings. Since he has to be at work relatively early, he tells you that 6:00 am is the only time that works for him. The problem, however, is that the first week he arrives at 6:10 and the second week at 6:25. The third week he is a no-show and was clearly still asleep when you called to check on him at 6:30. How do you respond?

The Excusive Grace Response: “That’s alright, brother. I know it’s hard to get out of bed early in the morning. Don’t worry about it – it’s good for me to get up early anyway and I just use the time I’m waiting on you to have a longer personal time in the Word.”

The Militant “Grace” Response: “Drop and give me 150 pushups. When you’re finished, I want 10 wind sprints in the parking lot. Then—after you pay for my breakfast—don’t let the door hit you on the way out. My time is too valuable to be wasted. You have my phone number; call me when you’re serious about committing to this relationship.”

The Transformative Grace Response: “You know I love you, right? That’s why I need to be completely honest with you. It’s not easy for me to get out of bed in the morning either. In fact, I had to leave a warm bed with my wife to be here by 6:00 am, and I had to stick her with getting our kids ready for school by herself when I would normally help shoulder the load. I’m willing to help be part of the solution for you in whatever way I need to be, but we can’t keep going on like this. Do you need me to give you a wake-up call in the mornings? Should we change the time of our meetings? Do I need to swing by your office so we can meet during your lunch break? Let me know and I’ll do what I can to help make this happen.”

These aren’t hypothetical situations and responses – this is an actual situation and three actual responses I’ve seen various disciple-makers give (minus the pushups and wind sprints). Do you see the difference the three approaches?

The excusive grace response may even be true. It might not be a big deal to you and you might have enjoyed the extra time in the Word those mornings, but that’s not the point! The point is that this person will never grow and mature as long as you keep enabling them and making excuses for their irresponsibility.

The militant grace response may be what you want to say to the person, but will it ultimately be helpful? Will you help the person develop a changed heart that values commitment, responsibility, and self-discipline? Or, will you help them have a fear of disappointing you and/or having a lighter wallet? This approach might even produce what looks like obedience, but the impetus can often be man-centered and not God-centered.

The transformative grace response should be a healthy mix of both grace and truth. It has a goal in mind for the person but is loving and nurturing in how to get there. The means is as important as the end goal.

This doesn’t mean that there’s never a time to say “That’s OK, it’s not a big deal.” It also doesn’t mean that you won’t occasionally have to “cut someone loose” and break off a relationship with a slothful disciple. But, both of these should be the exception, not the rule. Let’s disciple in such a way that we see changed lives through the Holy Spirit and the Word, because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, to the glory of the Father!

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Jason Seville (Th.M) lives in Memphis, TN with his wife, Kim, and daughters, Sydney & Sophie. They are members at First Evangelical Church, and Jason is on staff with Downline Ministries, where he writes curriculum, teaches, and heads up Downline Builder. You can follow him on Twitter @jasonCseville. 

Domain of Influence

Those who have been laid hold of by Jesus Christ have the same mission. Jesus gave it to us. He gave us his gospel, his Holy Spirit, and his commission to make disciple-making disciples of all peoples. We are called to take the gospel of Jesus into our neighborhoods and into the nations. However, one’s specific involvement in that mission is unique with regards to one’s role and one’s reach. You have a specific task or role to play in this mission. The Holy Spirit has equipped you for that role. It might be preaching and teaching, or pastoring, or administration, or mercy, or hospitality, but God intends you to use that gift, faithfully carrying out your role in the mission to make disciple-making disciples.

You also have a reach in this mission, a context that we might call your “domain of influence.” Your domain of influence is the sphere in which your ministry role is carried out. Some domains of influence are broader in scope; they are far reaching. Some people are given smaller spheres with a localized influence. This is fairly obvious to us. Some people pastor large influential churches and are invited to preach before great crowds, while others live in obscurity, faithfully pastoring small churches. The role of pastor is the same, but the reach one has in carrying out that role is different. Two pastors may have a similar calling, but different God-given capacities that bring with them differing spheres of influence and impact.

We see this principle of domain throughout the Scripture. One example is found in 1Corinthians 12. When Paul addresses the Corinthians about spiritual gifts, he highlights not only the variety of the gifts but also the differing impact that each person has in the exercise of his or her gift.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. - 1 Corinthians 12:4–6

When Paul speaks of a varieties of “activities” in verse 6, he uses a word that expresses the idea of activities based on capacities; impact that is an expression of one’s capability. The NASB95 translates the phrase, “varieties of effects.” These activities are empowered by God and have an effect that is in line with God’s choice. In other words, not only does God determine our gift, but he determines the impact, the effect, that each person will have in the faithful exercise of that gift. He gives people different measures of influence. Two people can faithfully exercise a preaching gift, but one have a much more significant impact upon the hearers not because of delivery or fleshly charisma, but because of God’s choice.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul specifically says that God has assigned an area of influence to him and those that minister alongside him. 

But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you. For we are not overextending ourselves, as though we did not reach you. For we were the first to come all the way to you with the gospel of Christ. - 2 Corinthians 10:13–14

We see this same principle in Jesus’ parable of the talents. A master goes on a journey and entrust differing amounts of his possessions to his servants. To one he entrust ten talents. To another he entrusts five talents. To the third, he entrusts one talent. Jesus tells us that each was given an amount according to his ability. Each was entrusted with an amount that was in keeping with that person’s potential for functioning at a certain level. In other words, each would have a differing domain of influence and varying degrees of accomplishment with what they were entrusted because each had different capacities.

The Temptations of Domain

There are two great temptations in ministry with regard to domain. First, it is possible that we can under-reach our domain out of fear, sloth, or lack of faith. God may very well desire to expand our influence and reach, but our own timidity or laziness can keep us from moving into God’s intentions. This may be what Timothy struggled with. He was appointed and given a platform of great influence in Ephesus. As we read through Paul’s letters to Timothy, it is clear that he struggles with insecurity, timidity, and possibly even a lack of faith. In 2Timothy 4:5 Paul tells him to fulfill his ministry, to be faithful to his domain.

There are some that are not dreaming enough. God has greatly gifted them, but they are not reaching for what God has for them due to insecurity, fear, or sloth. But I believe the bigger temptation that most in ministry face is that of over-reaching for a domain out of pride, envy, or comparison. When we see the ministry success of others, we can enviously aspire for a similar platform and the visibility that comes along with it. John the Baptist provides a good case study for this temptation.

John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because water was plentiful there, and people were coming and being baptized (for John had not yet been put in prison).

Now a discussion arose between some of John’s disciples and a Jew over purification. And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him. - John 3:23–26

If I am John, I am immediately faced with the temptation to comparison and envy. “All are going to him...” John has been at this longer and yet, Jesus shows up on the scene - endorsed by John at that - and John is losing his following. There is a constant temptation in ministry to ask, “How am I measuring up? Am I keeping up? Am I standing out? Is my church growing at a similar or quicker pace than others?” But notice how John responds.

John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.” - John 3:27–30

John understands that God sovereignly appoints his role and sets boundaries on his domain (v27). His ministry is received, given to him from God, and he cannot add even one thing to what God has appointed for him. John knows his role is the forerunner. He is not the groom but friend of the groom. John gladly accepts his shrinking platform. His only real concern is that Jesus increases, which means his domain must now decrease. John is not trying to over-reach his domain here; he is submitting to his God-given role and reach.

I often meet pastors and leaders who are over-reaching and trying to operate in a way that is not in keeping with how God has gifted them and that is not in step with the sovereign boundaries he has put on their reach of influence. For example, they see Driscoll, Chandler, or Piper preach hour long sermons, so they preach for an hour. But they do not have the capacity to hold an audience for an hour. Many assume that they should be doing multi-site because other pastors are doing it. It is not a decision grounded in inspiration from God but imitation of another church. These over-reaching pastors feel the pressure to keep up with other churches. But if they are honest, they know God has not given them the leading, discipling, and preaching capacities for a broader domain than one healthy, local church. I recently had a conversation with a pastor struggling for years to move his church beyond the 40 or so people who were attending. He said he had a vision to plant more congregations all over his city out of that congregation. What if God does not intend his domain to go beyond one healthy congregation. Pastor, God might be calling you to plant a church and get it healthy and lead it well, and that might be the reach that heaven sets for you. And if so, that is OK. Remember the parable of the talents. Each servant is given a measure of responsibility in keeping with his ability and the commendation comes in response to his faithfulness to their role, not the expanse of their reach.

Faithfulness to Your Domain

If you are going to be faithful to your role and reach, you need first and foremost a passion for Jesus. John was content with growing obscurity because Jesus was increasing. As long as Christ is trusted and treasured, we can be content. Second, we need a Gospel-Identity. John sees himself as a friend of the bridegroom - a person in a privileged position. When we know who we are as those privileged by the gospel, loved by God, adopted into his family, set aside for his purposes, then we begin to break free from trying to establish an identity through achievement. Third, we need self-awareness. By self-awareness, I simply mean knowing how God has gifted you and wired you. John knows who he is and who he isn’t, and he does not try to be someone the Lord has not made him to be. Self-awareness comes from the Lord by means - assessment tools, giftings, passions, fruitfulness, and the affirmation of other leaders. Through these means, the Lord often reveals the reach of our domains. In this sense, domains seem to me to be an unfolding awareness - more of a discovery than an announcement. It is not about reaching for what you want to do, but discovering what God has gifted you to do and then being faithful with it as he reveals it. And, as we are faithful over a little, he makes us faithful over much.

I’m afraid that we may have bred in the hearts of pastors today a desire for greater platforms instead of greater faithfulness. Humbly accepting our domains of influence and being faithful to them is the key to being content in the ministry God gives us.

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JR Vassar is the founding and lead pastor of Apostles Church. He and his wife Ginger have three children and make their home in NYC's Upper East Side. Twitter: @jrvassar

Trajectory Discipleship: Running the Race

If there is one thing that breaks my heart, it’s an interaction between two Christians pretending to be “fine.” This is commonplace within so many small groups and church services. One person believes that being a Christian means doing good and being good, but they have failed recently (a fight with their spouse, reoccurring sin, stress, circumstances), and they believe that they would be less than Christian if they let on. Then the other, equally as burnt out, sees the other as the ideal Christian and doesn’t want to be seen as any lesser. So the conversation goes. And many more like it, until one day when it comes out. Then what happens? Many Christians in gospel-centered churches are, by God’s grace, being taught to bring their brokeness to the community and seek help. But what is the help that is being offered? So often, we offer the tired, hurt, needy Christians a gospel adrenaline shot and send them sprinting off. Like a football player at the Pro Combine, the Christian bursts forward at incredible speed only to come to a halt or trip over their own feet forty yards later. Jesus becomes coach, not savior. This is how Christians get burnt out.

Discipleship is a marathon, not a 4 x 100. Sure, you can sprint passed a marathon runner for a mile or two, but eventually they are going to catch up and pass you. Like a marathon, discipleship has to be paced and consistent. If all emphasis is put on quiet time, prayer, and other disciplines, soon the Christian will soon be exhausted from running on fumes. And nobody can run the race the Paul talked about in 1 Timothy in short bursts.

How do well-meaning, seemingly gospel-centered Christians (like me and you) get taken for a ride on this spiritual rollercoaster of discipleship? We set achievable goals. I once chatted with a (very kind and hospitable, might I add) college ministry leader who was disciplining his guys through the book of Luke. He was very excited to tell me about the “punishment & reward system” that he had set up. Essentially, for every guy who came to the weekly meeting unprepared, the rest of the guys would have to do a certain amount of extra bible study as punishment. I remember thinking that this was pretty intense but probably pretty effective. It wasn’t until recently that I realized what was so wrong with this system. It reduced the law of God to an achievable goal. Sanctification was achieved by reaching a finish line.

Even though it is not always this extreme, performance is the default mode of the human heart, and it is so easy for that performance to sneak into our discipleships. The cross becomes a motivational gasoline instead of a refuge of rest. In running the gospel-driven race, believing the gospel is not a performance enhancer but a reminder of Jesus’ perfect performance on our behalf. The truth is we cannot finish the marathon on our own. It’s like running in a hurricane, with winds of self-doubt, sin, legalism, failure, incompetence and demonic sabotage constantly being thrown our way. Yet Jesus himself has secured our prize, and the Holy Spirit now empowers us to run.

With this in mind, it becomes so important to remember by what strength we run. Is it our powerful faith and godliness that takes us through the hurricane? Or is it the power of salvation (Romans 1:16)? I know a pastor who says, “the way up is not up, the way up is down.” Essentially, when we see ourselves as incompetent of running the race ourselves, we learn to cling to the righteousness of Jesus. It is here that the gospel not only becomes sweet, good news but consistently good news day in and day out.

This changes the way we think about discipleship and the way we teach others to live the Christian life. This radical juxtaposition between our goals and our abilities requires that we disciple by helping others realize the truth about themselves (the law) and the truth about Jesus (the gospel). The trajectory is long-term (REALLY long term) faith and repentance. We should be teaching people to believe first and foremost. Belief will lead to fruitfulness, but if a step is skipped, we are simply sending people out to run a marathon in a hurricane with a few encouraging words and no strength.

Nobody can finish the race by themselves. The race sounds simple enough, just believe the gospel. But why does Paul, the super-church-planting apostle, tell Timothy at the end of his life that he has finished the race? What is the race that Paul has finished? Simply keeping the faith (2 Timothy 4:7). So we push on and teach others to push on, one Holy Spirit-empowered step at a time - despite doubts, emotions, and fears - by believing that “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you." (Romans 8:11)

For the Christian who suffers through the dreaded “how are you doing?” questions at small group with a fake smile and a “oh, I’m fine” there is good news! In the hurricane marathon of the Christian life there is refuge and power. That refuge and power is the good news that Jesus has performed perfectly on our behalf, declaring freedom from guilt and condemnation before a holy God. Christ is both the imperative of the race and the power to run it.

Musician Jim White tells a story in his documentary “Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus” about riding his bicycle across the Brooklyn Bridge. On the bridge, there is a narrow bike lane, and he would often try to keep his front tire on the white line of the bike lane. He could only do this if he stared straight ahead. Whenever he looked down at his tire he would wobble. We must fix our eyes on Jesus, the big picture, only then can we expect to run the Christian life and not succumb to our hurts, emotions, and fears.

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Nick Rynerson is a Christian and a music and film lover. He blogs at Gospel Community Culture, and is a part of Charis Community Church an Acts 29 Church Plant in Normal, Illinois. His interests include taking his beautiful fiancé on dates, playing the mandolin, and reading. Twitter: @Nick_Rynerson

Grief and the Gospel - Part One

(Editor's Note: This article is part of a new series on Grief and the Gospel. It originally appeared at Soma Tacoma's blog.) Our theology does more than an adequate job of explaining the reality of the broken world in which we find ourselves. We know that God didn’t design the world to work this way, that sin has devastated the landscape of every relationship in all of creation, and that someday Jesus will restore all things to the way in which they were originally created. Since the fall, sin - committed by us and against us - and the effects of sin have made a mess of the world. As we await the second advent of Jesus, along with the glimpses of the great joy and full redemption that is to come, “creation groans” (Romans 8:22-23).

Practically, however, we often live as though our theology has nothing to say about what to do with this groaning (which we might call grief). This is strange given the breadth of human experience and emotion portrayed in the pages of scripture. Sackcloth and ashes and weeping and tearing one’s garments were among the many ways that humans historically expressed grief. Groaning took on many forms. In western culture, death seems to be the only valid reason for grieving, and pop psychologists have led the way in helping people navigate those difficult waters.

Understanding Grief

So how should the gospel inform our understanding of what it means to grieve?

Ephesians 4:25-31 says:

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

The words of verse 30 are familiar to us: "...do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." But the simple reality of the verse (and it’s very far reaching implications) often go unaddressed.

The context of verse 30 is essentially a list of sins. Don’t lie, don’t sin in your anger, don’t steal, don’t speak evil things, don't be bitter or filled with wrath, don’t slander other people or concoct evil schemes. And sandwiched near the middle of the list is the reason why we should avoid these things:  because sin grieves God. (It also gives the devil room to work, but that’s a whole other article.)

Sin grieves God.  Sin grieves God.  Sin committed by us and sin committed against us.  Sin grieves God.

If we’re looking for an invitation to grieve, and to grieve more than just death, then the news that sin grieves God should strike a chord. We’ve been created in the image of God. Like God, we have the unique components of personhood - mind, emotions, and a will. So if God grieves, then grief is a part of what it means to be human. Grief is normal. Grief is good (or at least it can be since God himself grieves).

Grieving Sin

The gospel tells us that sin should grieve us. We should be grieved by the sin we’ve committed, and we should be grieved by the sin committed against us.

I have had the sad privilege of talking with many people who’ve been groaning most of their lives. Some were exposed to graphic porn before 1^st grade. Others were raped by a relative before they were 10.  Some cried themselves to sleep at night while mom was working the swing shift after dad left. Still others have made painful and destructive choices over very long periods of time. When I hear these stories, it has been so helpful to encourage people to deal with their groaning by grieving the sin involved in their stories.

When you’ve sinned, God has been grieved, and you should be grieved, too. When sin has been committed against you, God has been grieved, and you should be grieved, too. Grieve the absence of your father. Grieve the loss of your youth because of abuse or neglect. Grieve the fruitlessness of the years you spent abusing drugs or alcohol. Grieve the times you’ve gotten angry with your children. Sin grieves God, and it should grieve us, too.

Human Grief

The picture of a grieving God reminds me of Isaiah’s description of Jesus, the suffering servant, in Isaiah 53:3 - “He was… a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”

Jesus is the image of God (2 Corinthians 4:4). Jesus was the perfect human, the most complete man who ever lived, the most accurate representation of the image of God since Adam. Jesus is the image of God, and he was acquainted with grief.  So again, grief is a part of what it means to be human.

But furthermore, Jesus is no stranger to the grief we experience. We often think about how Jesus can identify with us in temptation (Hebrews 4:15), and in suffering (1 Peter 4:12-13), but how often to we ponder the fact that Jesus can identify with our feelings of grief, sadness, and sorrow?

The gospel also tells us we’re not alone in our grief. Jesus has walked in our shoes, and is well acquainted with the full spectrum of grief that sin invokes.

John 11 offers a tremendous picture of Jesus as a man of sorrows who is acquainted with grief. In the story, we see Jesus’ grief in action, prompted by the death of his friend Lazarus. Jesus sees the hurt and the pain that death brings, especially to the surviving family, and he appropriately grieves.

However, even as the man of sorrows, Jesus’ grief in this story is surprising to me on two levels.

First of all, the very fact that he grieves is unexpected. Jesus had encountered Martha on his way to Lazarus’ tomb, but it was his interaction with Mary that seemed to push him over the edge emotionally.

Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!" - John 11:32-36

With striking vulnerability and humanity, the compassion and sensitivity and deep concern of the Triune God are on full display through the tears and troubled spirit of Jesus. JESUS. WEPT.

(I’m convinced that Robert Estienne, the French scholar who divided the biblical text into verses in 1551, intentionally created the shortest verse in the NT in order to call attention to the stunning nature of God weeping.)

“He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”

But Jesus’ grief is also surprising to me because of the timing of his grief. We need only to read ahead a few verses to find out that Jesus was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He knew his delayed arrival would result in Lazarus’ death, which would in turn provide a unique and poignant opportunity for his own messianic power and glory to be displayed. Jesus knew that he had power over death, that the grave could not hold Lazarus, and that the sound of his voice was about to wake Lazarus from his flat-lined slumber.

Grieving the Effects of Sin

And yet, Jesus grieves. But why does Jesus grieve? Why does he grieve when he knows what’s about to happen?

I think the answer is because Jesus is grieving the effects of sin. When Jesus returns and establishes the fullness of his kingdom, there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).  More or less, this is an adequate summary of the effects of the fall on humanity. “…sin came into the world through one man, and death (came into the world) through sin…” (Romans 5:12).

So here, Jesus, the one by whom all things were made (Colossians 1:16), is grieving, perhaps with a thought like this running through his head: “This is not the way I designed the world to work! Death is terrible and painful and grievous!”  

Death is perhaps the one area in which we still give ourselves permission to grieve. Death is so striking, so at odds with the way in which God designed the world to work, that we can’t help but grieve when it occurs. It’s instinctual for humans to grieve death. (For a helpful treatment of the grief that specifically accompanies death, see Paul Tripp’s New Growth Press booklet “Grief: Finding Hope Again.”)

But what about the other effects of sin? What about disease? What about broken relationships? What about corruption? What about economic and social inequality? We live in a fallen world filled with brokenness. The effects of sin are all around us. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where no single person’s sin is the cause of our pain, and yet, we are clearly experiencing life in a way that God never intended. Here again, we find a reason to grieve.

Grieve the fact that cancer took your father when he was 47. Grieve because your best friends had to move out of state in order to find work. Grieve for siblings or dear friends who have no interest in Jesus. Grieve that millions in Africa starve while warlords rape and pillage.

God's Grief

The gospel tells us that sin grieves God so it should grieve us, too (sin committed by us, sin committed against us, and the various effects of sin). It also tells us that because Jesus is a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief. We are not alone in our grief. 

But how should we grieve?  And more importantly, what should be the outcome of our grief?

As we’ll discover, the gospel offers answers to these questions concerning grief, as well. I'll address them in a forthcoming second part of this article. At this time, consider praying for understanding of the deep effects of sin and the even deeper power of grace found in gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Abe Meysenburg serves as a pastor and elder with Soma Communities in Tacoma, WA. After living in the Midwest for most of their lives, he and his wife, Jennifer, moved to Tacoma in the summer of 1999. In 2001, after working as a Starbucks manager for a few years, Abe helped start The Sound Community Church, which then became a part of Soma Communities in May 2007. Twitter: @abemeysenburg

Ways to Love Your Children - Excerpt

(Editor's Note: The following selections come from Patrick Morley's Man Alive, Multnomah Publishers, 2012. They appear here with the author and publisher's permission. More information and a free download at Man in the Mirror.) Men, let's kick-off Father's Day with some practical ideas to be a great father. Nothing is more precious to a man than his children. If your children are doing well, all your other problems will fit into a thimble.

Raising godly kids today takes intentionality - the right amount of structure, time, prayers, encouragement, and affection. My own children are grown now. I did a lot of things wrong, but here are ten practical love-in-action things I did right for you to consider. Remember, love is what love does.

Lead Your Children in Family Devotions

Three or four days a week during the school year, we had a 15-minute family devotion. I usually started with a life situation - something in the neighborhood, from the newspaper, or a school situation. Then I read a Scripture passage that applied. We finished with each of us saying a short prayer. To make the prayers more than "Let us have a good day," we also prayed for someone in need each time.

Establish Work Boundaries

To make family my priority, I set up some rules: leave work no later than 6:00 p.m., don't take work home, and don't work weekends. During my evening commute, I'd let my mind process what I'd been doing during the workday - until I drove over a creek about a mile from our home. Then I would put everything into a mental briefcase and toss it into the creek. That gave me a couple of minutes to prepare to greet my family.

If you want to lead a balanced life, decide how many hours you want to work and stick to your guns. Put work appointments on your calendar in pencil, but put your family commitments in pen. Love is time, and time is love.

Spend Time with and Date Your Children   

When our kids were young, we played board games after dinner. I endured endless, mind-numbing repetitions of Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders - games that require the IQ of a goldfish. I drove them to school during the week and stayed home with them every Saturday morning while Patsy ran errands. I cherished this time with them. Once they became teenagers, I started taking one child out every Tuesday for a dinner date and something fun, like ice cream, go-carts, or the mall. Looking back, those were the best, and almost only, one-on-one times we had. If you're not intentional about this, a whole year can go by without you sharing a single deep conversation with your kids.

Pray for and Encourage Your Children with Words Every Day

I realized that my wife and I were probably the only ones who would intentionally be praying for our kids every day. So I made up a list of things to pray over - their salvation, growth, integrity, work ethic, protection, future mates, and so on. I don't think it's a coincidence that all the specifics we prayed for are today a reality.

I also made it a goal to tell each of my children daily, "I love you and I'm proud of you" - words I didn't hear growing up, which still affects me today. There's biblical precedent for this: At both the baptism of Jesus and the transfiguration, God spoke and said, "You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy." In other words, "I love you and I'm proud of you."

Attend as Many of Your Children's Activities as Possible

Perhaps because of my own experience with my parents not attending my games, I decided from the start that I would never miss a recital or a game. And I never did. Fortunately, my work allowed that flexibility. One of my greatest joys came the day my son said, "Dad, I don't know what I want to do, but whatever it is, I want a career that lets me attend my kids' games like you attended mine."

Eat Dinner Together 

The dinner table can be the medium that allows families to transfer spiritual and moral values from one generation to the next. So we made eating dinner together a priority. We worked around school activities and didn't answer the phone during dinner. That's not likely to happen every night without fail, but at least don't make choices that preclude it.

Expose Your Children to Ministry

We participated as a family in many of the ministry opportunities offered by our church. In fact, we selected ministries precisely because we could include our children, such as housing visiting missionaries and delivering Thanksgiving meals. When they were older, our kids went without us to youth camps and on mission trips, which helped them build confidence in their own faith.

Make Your Children Responsible to Attend Church

Just as it's foolish to let your kids skip school, it's foolish to let them skip church. When kids are young, they will freely go to church if you go. Once our kids were teens, though, we experienced resistance. They were "too tired to go to church" after being out on Saturday night. So rather than do battle every Sunday morning, we transferred responsibility for attending church to them. If they were too tired to attend church, they could sleep in and skip church, but then the following Saturday night they needed to stay home so they wouldn't be so tired. Guess how many times that happened again?

Remember: You Hold an Awesome Power

Right now, your kids desperately need to know that someone loves them as they are. They yearn for someone who will overlook their faults, forgive their sins, and love them without reserve. They hunger for someone who delights in and believes in them. They thirst for someone who thinks they're great - who thinks the best of their motives. Whether they can articulate it or not, they long for someone who will make them feel safe.

You are God's designated solution. Are you willing to make the first move... and keep on making it?

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Patrick Morley graduated with honors from the University of Central Florida, which selected him to receive its Distinguished Alumnus Award in 1984. He has earned a Ph.D. in Management and completed post-graduate studies at the Harvard Business School and Oxford University, and graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary. Author of the best-selling book The Man in the Mirror, Patrick has written 18 books and founded Man in the Mirror - a ministry for men. He lives in Winter Park, FL with his wife, Patsy. They have two married children and four grandchildren. Twitter: @patrickmorley

Discipleship is for Young Parents Too

(Editor's Note: This article is reposted from a series at Domestic Kingdom and appears here with the author's permission.) As a mom of young children, I feel like I’m going, going, going all the time.

On a typical day, I have devotions to be done, breakfast to make, chores to supervise, reading to do, games to play, school to teach, lunch to make, diapers to change, dishes to clean, training to do, gospel conversations to have, naps to enforce, peace to keep, dinner to prepare, family bonding to facilitate, laundry to fold, and so on and so on.

Where in that long list of important activities can I find time or energy to disciple younger women? How much should helping other Christians grow factor into my daily plans? What could this discipleship look like?

Discipleship looks different in different seasons, and as a Christian parent who desires to see the gospel magnified, being a part of the growth of other Christians is a privilege and a necessity. When Christ came, he died for broken people. At the end of time, Christ will present his bride, the church, radiant and blameless to himself (Ephesians 5). There is no such thing as Lone Ranger Christianity!

Especially in a season of parenthood with young children (which itself can tend to be isolating and lonely) involvement in another believer’s life can refreshingly lift our gaze from the mundane tasks of the day to the bigger reality of what the Lord is doing to make a people for himself.

What do young parents have to offer to younger believers?

Because stay-at-home parents get the privilege of serving little ones day in and day out, often with little self-initiated appreciation, we get the opportunity to live out the gospel before watching eyes. As Christ came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28), our dying to self to serve our children displays Christlikeness. As believers we are all being made more and more into the image of Christ by the grace of God.

Parenthood in the young years lends a unique crucible into which our selfish natures are refined to be more holy. That should be shared with others!

In the area of biblical womanhood, the "younger me" would have benefited hugely from a true picture of what young motherhood looked like. I loved children and wanted a family. But I think a realistic idea of the work involved in raising children and keeping the home would have informed some of the choices I made. I had an inflated view of what I could accomplish in my waking hours. I thought I could be a doctor, a pastor’s wife, and mom-extraordinaire all-in-one.

I spent a great deal of time shadowing doctors, but I didn’t initiate much to spend time with a mom. I think if I had, her life would have offered much wisdom to me as I considered what kind of degree I achieved, what career I pursued, or how much I financially invested in my education. Seeing a real-life picture of biblical womanhood and having realistic role models would have challenged my proud thoughts of being able to do all and have all and be all.

Discipleship should be happening in all seasons of life: dating, beginning a marriage, parenting young children, parenting teenagers, growing old, retiring. Each season brings its own freedoms and limitations. Because of the unique needs of young motherhood, discipleship will probably not look like formally sitting down with a younger woman and digging into the depths of Scripture for hours.

More likely this discipleship will happen in intentional conversations and pictures of gospel application facilitated by opportunities to correct children or pick up toys. You can pray for one another and lift each other before the Lord even with your two-year old wiggling in your lap. Being a young parent is not an excuse to not disciple younger believers, it is a reason to do so.

What are some reasons we don’t disciple as young parents? How does the gospel challenge these objections?

Objection #1:  I don’t have the time or energy.  Discipling younger believers is not convenient. 

The other day I was trying to figure out how to make something.  And my son said to me, “Just use your computer and search for it.”  Ta-da.  Instant information with the push of a button.  No need go to the library to find a book or call an expert for advice.  All I had to do was push a button.

We live in a culture of convenience.  Things come easily and often instantly.  In some ways, this ease of life cuts against the very grain of Christianity, which calls us to deny ourselves and live for Someone greater.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2  

Christ loved sinners to the point of death on a cross!  If we have received that sacrifice, how can we not also sacrifice to love others by investing in their lives? If we are in Christ how can we not also be energized by his strength?

Christ has redeemed that young believer in your church. He means to sanctify us all and make us more like Christ.

If our lives can be used by God in his work of sanctification, we would be wise to consider whether this objection of inconvenience and lack of energy is legitimate or not.

It’s true: life only gets busier with children.

As young parents, we are responsible to train up our children in the fear of the Lord, and they should be one of our main priorities.  It does require much of our best time and energy. But are we making the best use of the time because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16)?

If I examine my own life truthfully, I admit that I find myself checking email or browsing Facebook more than necessary. That’s just one example of how I waste time. Sometimes I want to selfishly get away from my kids for a moment. Sometimes it’s to legitimately relax or do work.

But for all those times where I am wasting my time, how much more fruitful would it be to read a good book, a gospel-centered article, or meditate on some truth of Scripture? How much more fruitful would it be if I gathered those wasted minutes and do that with another believer? The truth is that I am lazy and selfish. I want to do what is easy. And it is pathetically easier for me to be temporarily satisfied knowing the latest status of all my friends, rather than in thinking about how I might access grace through the powerful Word or thinking about how I might benefit another spiritually.

Nothing about Christ dying on the cross was convenient for him.

It wasn’t an easy task that took no effort. Likewise, we shouldn’t expect imitating Christ to be easy. He suffered and gave his life for His people. Why should we expect to do any less?

As we look forward to the privilege of being God’s instruments for sanctification in the lives of other believers, we should embrace the price associated with it and rejoice in Jesus’ provision of everything we need.

Objection #2:  I’m not one to be emulated. My children aren’t obedient enough. I’m not fill-in-the-blank enough.

It’s true.  I’m not. They’re not. And I’ll never be. But praise God that we “can boast all the more gladly of [our] weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon [us]” (2 Corinthians 12:9). To disciple a young believer doesn’t mean you have to be the perfect parent and your children have to be perfect.

As one author put it:

I love my fellow-Christians not simply because of the gospel, but I love them best when I am loving them with the gospel! And I do this not merely by speaking gospel words to them, but also by living before them and generously relating to them in a gospel manner.  Imparting my life to them in this way, I thereby contribute to their experience of the power, the Spirit, and the full assurance of the gospel.  - Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians, page 22 

When I invite a young woman into my life and she sees my failings and my sin, I have the opportunity to show what kind of people Christ came to die for: sinful, blemished people.

I have the occasion to communicate that apart from Christ’s gracious work in my life I would be a much meaner, more selfish mom.  I can show this younger woman how to rejoice in the fact that Christ came to heal the sick and needy, not the healthy and perfect.

I also have the gospel reapplied to me when I realize that my example may actually benefit the younger woman by showing them what NOT to do or be. Ouch! What a humbling reality! As my pride balks at this idea I am made aware of my need for even more grace!

Yet I can rejoice as even my insufficiencies are helping this younger believer know Christ more and grow in him. I can thank God for the opportunity to know my own limitations and boast in Christ! As I seize the sufficiency of Christ for my motherhood on any day– smoothly-running or Twilight Zone– this younger believer gets to experience a dose of reality.

Objection #3:  My children are my priority. I can’t divide my time.

Precisely because they are learning about life by watching, don’t we want our children to see us caring for and investing in other people? We want them to know that our relationship with our spouse is a priority because God prioritizes marriage in his Word.

Likewise, when I have a younger lady into my home – when my children see us discussing a book, opening Scripture or praying together or talking about Jesus while we cut veggies -  what a marvelous opportunity it is to show them that the body of Christ is intimately involved in each other’s life.

This is another priority God places on the church: the fellowship of believers. My children get to learn that Mommy talks to lots of people about Jesus. She talks to me and she talks to Auntie Jessica. And Auntie Kate. Lord willing, in their minds, it is a normal and important thing for Jesus to be a part of every day conversations. It is a normal and important thing for people from church to be coming to their home and involved in Mommy’s life.

My bubble-loving two-year-old has surprised me on more than one occasion. As I get ready to pray with a lady, I will ask the kids to play quietly so we can pray.  More than once, she has toddled over to me and said, “I pay too.” And she’ll climb up in my lap and ceremonially cover her eyes, sit still, and wait quietly while we pray.

Our children are watching and learning more than we know. Modeling discipleship to your children in this way is not forsaking them as your priority.

Father God, I pray You would use these moments to show my children the implications of the gospel lived out.  I pray that my kids will catch a vision for how following Christ involves my giving my attention to other people for the sake of gospel growth.  I pray they will see the body of Christ building itself up in love (Ephesians 4:16).

Wisdom in all things

There is no doubt that young parenthood is a tiring, if not exhausting, season of life. We need God’s wisdom to decide how to spend our waking moments.

And sometimes wisdom requires us to say “No” to an extra relationship at this time. But let us also not excuse ourselves from ministering to the saints because of the busyness of this season. Let us rather run this race with others and rejoice that we can fall into bed exhausted each night because we have given ourselves for others, emulating our Savior in how he has given himself for us.

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Melanie Yong is from California. She’s married to Jeremy, who is a pastor in the Golden State. Together they’re raising three photogenic children (Miah, Ellie and Bethan) with another on the way.

Kids in the Family of God - Part One

(Editor’s Note: This is the first part of a three part series entitled Kids in the Family of God. Here is Part Two and Part Three.) Kids Can Serve Others - Even if They Don't Fully "Get It"

Yesterday, about 80 folks from The City Church and the Fort Worth community banded together in three locations for a tri-annual “SERVE” day. For all involved, it’s a day of giving back, serving others, and “seeking the welfare of our city.” For those involved who follow Jesus, it’s reflecting the idea that “the son of man came to serve, not to be served,” and is a physical reflection of the restoring work God has done in our hearts.

Among the folks at each SERVE site were many kids: as young as 18 months; as “old”  as 4^th grade. Amidst the painting, cleaning, planting, constructing, chopping, fixing, and other –ing’s, we had wondered what to do with our kids. To be fair, one site did have childcare for the youngest of the young: one of the practical realities is that the best place kids under 18 months or so, is in a specific environment where they can play and have fun together, while freeing up their parents to SERVE.

Honestly, we didn’t know how this would work: we brought balls and frisbees; we wondered if every site would need designated “childcare.” We also wondered if we’d only be able to simulate serving for our kids: we brought tiny plastic shovels and rakes and watering cans, in case we needed to make a spot for the kids to go plant flowers, or dig a garden, or something specific, but “less real” than the tasks at hand. But we didn’t need the toys or distractions. From much younger than we thought, our kids got involved, and every site had activities that enabled them to actually participate in serving others!

Kids picked up branches that had been cut.

Kids planted flowers, and loved getting dirty as they made the flowerbeds.

Kids got supplies for grown-up’s – they’re great little “runners.”

Kids helped paint. Yes, we went back and painted over it, and yes a few had to be deep-cleaned afterward. But they got to be actively involved in the colors that went on the ground or the walls, depending on the site.

Kids chalked an outline of the world – this was my favorite element to see: at one of our sites, we painted both global and US maps on the playground of an impoverished school. After we taped the template to the concrete, we had to chalk the outline of each country/state (see below for final product). Guess who did nearly all the chalking? Our 18-month-old through nine-year-old SERVE participants!

And more: kids were involved, on some level, with nearly every activity that we did yesterday.

And along the way, parents and other grown-up’s would ask our kids why we were doing what we were doing. We would pray with our kids, and would pray together for the kids at the school we were serving. We would remind them that we’re serving because Jesus first served us; we bless others because Jesus first blessed us. And while there’s no way that some were old enough to “get it,” others did. Maybe for the first time, kids got to actually participate in “the reconciliation of all things” – not just with their heads or hearts, but with their dirty, paint-covered little hands.

Bottom line, three concepts stood out:

• Kids can serve, from a much younger age than we expect: they’re part of the family; they’re part of the family activity. This is a truth that we’ve affirmed as a church for months – but SERVE tested our functional belief and practice of that concept. My kid surprised me. But as I washed her chalk-covered face (and maybe mouth?!), I thanked God for the chance he gave her, and prayed that one day she would fully understand why we did what we did.
• Kids can serve, in nearly any project: we simply need to be intentional about creating space for it, and putting aside our over-protection and over-efficiency and actually letting them participate. They might get a little cut, or soil a shirt, and it might take a bit more work or “fixes” on our part – but those minor inconveniences fade in comparison to the chance to hands-on teach our kids about serving others.
• Kids can serve, even if they don’t fully get what’s going on: older kids at our SERVE sites understood that we were blessing folks who didn’t have as much as we did. I want them to “get” that! They grasped the fact that Jesus restores our hearts, and reconciles the world, and so we display that in any way we can. I want them to “get” that! On the other hand, my 20-month-old had no idea what she was doing. But as we continue to invest in the school where she chalked a map, we can take her to the playground one day and let her know that, even before she knew it, she was serving and blessing others. I want her to “get,” and God willing, one day she will.

Kids in the Family of God

One of the biggest questions in the broader “missional communities” conversation is how to engage kids well. The City Church has been working out this concept for over two years, and certainly don’t have everything figured out. But there are a few things that have become clear over these years that seem to be worth sharing, as we raise kids in the family of God.

Kids in the Church Gathering

“They’re distracting.” “It’s over their head.” “He can’t sit still for that long.” “She doesn’t know what that word means.”

These are among the tons of reasons for not involving kids in the gathering of God’s people. Some excuses are legitimate; some are logical. Others aren’t. But as The City Church has played out the idea of kids being involved in the family of God for the past two years, one of the most valuable lessons we’ve learned is that while it might be a little less convenient for parents at times, the opportunity to involve our kids in the all-church gathering, from as early an age as logical, far outweighs adults' desire to be comfortable.

Here’s what one mom posted last month, after sitting next to her daughter on a typical Sunday morning:

Daughter: Mama the weeds are getting really tall in (our elderly neighbor's) yard. Me: Yep, they are. Daughter: We're supposed to be on the lookout for brokenness, right? Me: Yes, we are. Do you think those weeds represent brokenness? Daughter: Yeah. Me: What should we do when we find brokenness in the world? Daughter: Try to help. Maybe we should go over and pull those weeds for them. Me: Maybe we should So grateful for kids joining us in worship on Sunday AM. We haven't said a word to her about what's been discussed...this is all from listening while coloring during the sermon.

This is from a first-grader, from a sermon on Leviticus! If she can get that conversation, from that text, surely we see one example of not giving our kids enough credit, in assuming our teaching is too far “above them”!

Here's the point: children can understand the gospel - and many deep concepts - from a much younger age than we give them credit for.

Keeping children with adults is not a new concept. “Sunday School” and age-level ministry only became the norm in the 1950’s. For the first 1900+ years of the Christian faith, the church was one body, one family. And throughout the Bible, children are always present in the gathering of God’s people. 1 John, Ephesians, and Colossians all contain exhortations directly to children, alongside adults. And in Deuteronomy 31, "little ones" are specifically mentioned and were expected to participate in readings of the Hebrew Law - the same is seen in Psalms, Joshua, the Old Testament Prophets, and beyond. And of course in Mark 10, Jesus' famous words instructed his disciples to involve children in the ministry that was happening, despite their disruption and 'inconvenience.'

Did the kids “get” all of what was going on? Did they understand every nuance? Could they carry out everything to the extent that adults could? In the Bible and in most of history, probably not. But in both history and in our own corporate experience, the common experience of a gathering gives parents a shared basis, unified teaching, and common language for discipling their kids.

The most common image of the church in the New Testament is one of “family” – so in our church, our gatherings reflect a large gathering of an extended family, as parents, students, and children older than preschool gather together. We all celebrate God through singing and creed; as we celebrate God’s word through preaching and reading scripture; as we celebrate Jesus through giving and receiving communion; as we celebrate God’s work as we share stories of grace in our lives and our cities.

Bottom line, we aim for a "well-balanced" approach, but as a principle, we believe children should join the gathering of God’s people at as young as is logical:

• Parents carry out biblical training of their children by modeling behavior with them. Research provides a glimpse into post-high-school church dropout rates, at least partially based on the transition from the high-energy kid and student experience to “big church.” But if that’s the “church gathering experience” from much younger, we can help turn this trend around. In the all-church gathering, kids get to see dad praying, mom singing, the community of believers sharing faith, scripture, and communion together. I'll go into this more later, but the Bible is clear: parents are the primary disciples of your kids. Parents don’t just “tell their kids about God and church”; they model for their kids; they lead their kids; they participate with their kids. They experience gathered worship together: this picture of “the church coming together” will be normative for the rest of their lives.
• We do create a separate space for kids younger than kindergarten – but only for part of the gathering time. We include children from as early an age as logical. We do consider the fact that at their youngest age, kids can’t/won’t pick up on the elements we try to teach and model in our gathering. And for those families, one of the greatest ways to bless parents is to think of KidCity like the "kids table" at your family’s Thanksgiving meal: youngsters sit there for the meal but otherwise engage with the rest of the family. So newborns through kindergarteners start the gathering in KidCity, which is by volunteers from a different missional community each week, who lead kids in stories and activities. Kids remain there until after the sermon each week, so parents and older kids can engage well. But even these youngest folks in the church family are brought in for closing songs, communion, giving, and announcements. These are sometimes carried out in competition with crying babies, but it’s worth it so that children’s earliest memories include the meaningful activity of the gathered church family.
• It takes intentionality to engage children in the gathering, but it’s biblical and worth it. For full disclosure, there are some weeks where the biblical concept would be inappropriate for elementary kids, so we warn parents ahead of time, and like a “grown-up conversation” in actual families, we occasionally excuse kids from those gatherings to a different room. But most weeks, we go out of our way to make sure kids can engage: we provide activity sheets for children, which some parents use and which others don’t. The sheets help kids bring kids into the different activities of the gathering, with instructions like "Stand and sing when everyone else does: sing loud and have fun as we worship God!" and "During the sermon, draw a picture of something you hear." Whichever pastor-elder preaches does our best to include a kid-level story, or ask a question to kids, or at least include kids in the examples we give as we teach biblical truths to our church family.

Kids in the Community Meeting

“What do we do with the kids?!”

This is the single most-asked question in the world of missional communities. It’s asked at every conference I’ve been to, whether speaking or attending. Every pastor I know who leads a church in this structure, and every parent I know who seeks to live this lifestyle, wants to know the answer.

I don’t think there’s one magic bullet practice. But I do think there’s one vital principle to follow, when considering kids in the community meeting:

Kids are part of the family.

If Jesus hasn’t saved them yet, they’re like every other not-yet-believer in your community. If Jesus has saved them, then they’re likely not much different from the believer who Paul “fed…with milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it…” (1 Corinthians 3:2) – their “milk” might just look a little different from an adult who isn’t mature in their faith. But very simply, both need a little extra attention; both need a little extra consideration; both need a little extra unconditional love and understanding. But since they’re part of your family, you don’t reject, ignore, or push aside the less-mature adult – why would you do the same for the less-mature child?

Having children involved in most of our community’s activity has produced great fruit for our communities.

First, it battles idols like comfort and convenience. Would it be easier, less messy, and more efficient, to have adults-only discussion, dinner, or service? Yes. And we love things to be easier, less messy, and more efficient – if we’re honest, most of us would even like our faith to be that way. But God uses kids’ involvement as a practical display the real messiness of living in relationship with him. Kids break down idols, and God has used them to grow folks in patience and service.

Second, as Jesus himself said, “out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise” and “I thank you, Father… that you have hidden these things form the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children” (Matthew 21:16; 11:25). To realize kids’ joy, to see them relate to parents and other “grown-ups,” to watch them grow, learn, and share, and even to hear their comments, questions, and take on faith has taught our adults, in a few directions: at times it’s reminded us of the simplicity of faith, which many of us have lost. Sometimes it challenges our own faith, as we have to take a few minutes (or days) and find answers to questions they ask. These are just a few examples; there are literally dozens of things our kids have taught us.

Third, it places value on kids’ faith, and shows them that their relationship with God and community is just as real, growing, and vital as their parents’ is. To engage a child’s question, to have someone close to them who isn’t their parent validate their struggle and speak gospel truth into it, and to see adults listen to and engage their own opinion are a few of the most encouraging ways adults can come alongside parents in encouraging kids’ growth. It’s difficult to be challenged by a child, and humbling to be rebuked – biblically! – by a teenager. But engaging them in conversation emboldens their faith and encourages their growth.

Fourth, it’s a massive blessing to parents, to have godly counsel and help! The African proverb is dead-on: “It takes a Village to raise a child.” On many levels, your own child “has to” listen to you. But as your community lives life together, kids learn to respect, obey, do life with, and bless other adults. Other adults help you see patterns in your kids or in your parenting that you don’t. They give you advice on situations you don’t know how to deal with. They practically help by watching your kid for a last-minute date night or emergency. They bolster, exhort, encourage, or challenge your decisions and discipline. This isn’t always easy – and if I’m honest, it’s not always fun. But these things and more will push you and your child toward God. Raising a child in community allows others to speak into your kids, and to come alongside you in raising them.

Finally, kids in community provide practical discipleship for those who don’t yet have ‘em! Parents-to-be, newly-weds, and even college-aged men – many of whom had no idea what to do with children of any age – are now miles ahead when God blesses them with their own kids, because they’ve learned how to interact with, lead, get a laugh from – and even change diapers, and discipline! – the kids in our missional community. This provides much laughter for the rest of us, and has provided a mess or two as well. But on a deeper level, they’re being discipled in what it means to be a parent, or a parent of “the next age,” through hands-on practice instead of a parenting book or class. That’s life-on-life discipleship!

Bottom line, we see kids as part of the family, so we engage them in as much of the community’s activity as is logical.

While this varies a bit by small group, here are some “best practices” we encourage leaders to develop, as we engage kids in community well:

• From about first grade up, kids should be involved in all the activity of the community. You may remember from the previous post of this series, this is the same age we bring kids into the Sunday gatherings of the church. So it makes sense that at this age, kids participate in the life of the community – with the obvious exceptions of things like wine nights, conversations on more risqué topics, events after bedtime, etc. But in serving, in biblical discussion, in prayer and requests, in giving, in loving neighbors, in dinners and hanging out, in mission, and in most everything else, we involve kids, age elementary and older, into everything that the rest of the community does. They understand, interact with, and have great thoughts on far more than we often give them credit for.
• We only separate kids younger than first grade for periods of actual discussion. Our communities see each other many times a month. But in the times they meet to discuss scripture or other deeper things, older kids stay involved, but we do send babies and preschoolers into another room. But it’s just for that period of the meeting: we eat together, we pray together, we talk about life together, we plan mission and activities together. So in reality, youngsters are only separate for 30-45 minutes during those meetings. We find it best to simply rotate through the adults in the community, where one (or maybe two) at a time spend time with the kids. That way, it’s not always on the parents, and each adult is likely with the kids every six to 16 weeks. And in our community, we simply remind adults that every activity our Village does is worship: biblical discussion is no more godly than caring well for each others’ children. Leading kids in both playtime and spiritual conversation is a blessing and a service, on many levels.
• It takes intentionality to engage kids well, no matter what age they are.This is honestly why most folks don’t include kids in their communities: it takes time and effort in advance, and patience and flexibility in the moment.
  • We intentionally engage kids in conversation – this is especially easy before and during our meals together: if we all share a glimpse of grace we saw that week, so do the kids. If we’re discussing our day, they jump in too. And so on.
  • We intentionally engage kids in prayers and personal encouragement: they have real issues, struggles, fears, and concerns. It takes time, and it takes seeing others – and even seeing dad and mom – be honest about their imperfections, but eventually they’ll start sharing their own.
  • For older kids who are involved in biblical discussion, leaders intentionally draw them out: “what do you think?” or “what would you do?,” followed by an affirming comment, does wonders to a kid’s spiritual thinking. At times, we’ll ask them to read the passage. And at times, we’ll ask them to comment on someone else’s issue: “what do you think [your mom’s friend] should do in that situation?”
  • For younger kids, who aren’t involved in the discussion, we provide intentional activities: Every week, Nicole our KidCity Deacon, resources each missional community with a few simple but meaningful questions and an activity, song, story, etc, to assist the adult in engaging the children well during the community meeting.

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Ben Connelly lives in Fort Worth, TX, with his wife and daughter (with another on the way this fall). He started The City Church in 2010, which exists across the Fort Worth area as "a family of communities on mission, for the glory of God and the good of our cities," and lives on mission by teaching in the communications department at TCU. Ben sits on the board of a few city-focused organizations, equips folks in life, faith, and mission across the country, and writes at benconnelly.net. Twitter @connellyben

Bradbury's Dystopia and the Biblical Future

In the world of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, firemen start fires not stop them. They burn books and houses that contain books. Bradbury writes:

It was a special pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed. With the brass nozzle in his fists, with this great python spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of blazing and burning to bring down the tatters and charcoal ruins of history…while the flapping pigeon-winged books died on the porch and lawn of the house.

The blazing glory of burning books. This is what the book's hero, Montag, lives for. But more than books are consumed in the dystopian future of Fahrenheit 451. Montag's country is physically intact, despite the fact that it survived two atomic wars. Culturally, however, his world is crackling in flames. The reading of books is no longer permitted. Deep thought is discouraged. Instead, everyone watches TVs the size of their living room wall. In the words of Neil Postman, they have “entertained themselves to death.” The world is in gross cultural decline and, as a result, people are in decline. People no longer know how to have meaningful conversation. Everything is superficial. People don’t ask questions of one another; they just talk at one another. Humanity has become a shell of life, a corpse of entertainment, with very little truth, beauty, or virtue left. This is the future of Fahrenheit 451.

What is the Biblical Future?

The world of Fahrenheit 451 is physically, culturally, and humanly broken. Creation, culture, and humanity are in need of renewal. This dystopian vision is the opposite of the biblical vision of the future. In Revelation 21-22 we see a very different world:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth…the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

The biblical view is a new heaven and a new earth, devoid of destruction, corruption, darkness, and decline. It is a place of remarkable beauty, crystal-bright rivers, and trees of life. A place of physical renewal. It is also a place of personal healing - by the very leaves of the tree of life - a metaphor for the power of the new environment. It is also a place of personal renewal. As the rest of Revelation and Isaiah the prophet describe, the new creation is a place of human flourishing, of great creative output where the finest of human culture is joyfully produced in worship of our great God and King (Rev 21:22-27). Even cultural renewal exists. The biblical vision of New Creation is altogether different from the future of Fahrenheit 451. New Creation is physical, cultural, and personal renewal not decline!

Now, perhaps you are thinking to yourself: "Wait a minute, where’s the doom and gloom of the apocalypse? What about Left Behind? I thought the Christian vision was a vision of destruction and the annihilation of the world." Turn or burn, right?

While Revelation and 2 Peter do depict a kind of purification of the present world, they do not present total annihilation. We are told that “heaven and earth pass away” and a new heaven and earth will appear, but this language does not imply complete consumption. In the Greek, the word "pass away" simply means to leave or depart, to remove from present existence. The word is used of Jesus leaving the presence of the Pharisees. When Jesus left, he didn’t dissolve; he just left. You might say that the current form of creation leaves the building…but it comes back for an encore with a new outfit. The word “new” used in Revelation means new in “nature or quality.” John does not select the word that means new in “origin or time.”

Biblical vision of the future is a renewed world not a consumed world. Creation is restored not replaced.

It is not like the world of The Matrix, an artificial replacement of a scorched heavens and earth. God doesn’t promise a reboot, to plug us into a fantasy after we die. It’s not even a changing of the light bulb of the universe. That's replacement. Rather, the Creator is wholly committed to a renewed heavens and earth! After all, it is the world he created and called good. It was made in, through, and for him. He delights in it. He loves his creation, so much that he is willing to die to rescue it. The biblical future is New Creation, and New Creation is physical, cultural, and personal renewal.

Why Do We Need New Creation?

So how do we fit in? Why should we want New Creation? What kind of world, what kind of future would you create if you could? A place of physical  beauty, cultural splendor, and human flourishing? A place of justice, peace, and joy, where there is no sorrow or suffering, where there is equal distribution of wealth, a clean environment, never-ending joy? The world God has prepared is the world we all really want, the world that, deep down, we really long for.

How do we get in on this renewal? It starts with being honest about our age, squaring up with how old we are. We’re a lot older than we want to admit, and by old I'm not referring to age per se but to state. We’re in slower, crankier, meaner, and much less attractive state than we'd like to admit. We’ve got to stop airbrushing ourselves. Living to impress others, trying to trick others that we’re actually not that old, we’re not that mean, we’re not that broken. Deep down we know we’re bent, but we’ve been trying to cover it up. We act like we’re young, not old, like we are full of innocence and life, not guilt and death. We’re quick to defend ourselves.

Last night I was merging onto the highway where two roads converged. Little did I know that there was a car speeding up behind me to try to get ahead. She comes flying up right next to me, trying to force me out, an inch at a time. Stop start, stop start. Finally, I looked over at her with disdain, an imploring kind of look like, “Come on, are you kidding me?”

She started motioning angrily, and I kind of just laughed and let her go ahead. I wanted to make excuses for laughing at her. I wanted to defend the pride and anger that swelled up in my heart, but were pushed down by superficial laughter. I wanted to act like I was innocent, had it together, unflappable, virtuous, “Christian.” I wanted to act as if I was new, renewed, full of love and kindness but I wasn’t. I was actually quite old on the inside, easily bothered, cranky, selfish, and mean. Certainly much less attractive than I’d like to admit. The string of excuses that came to mind were my airbrush. I was ready to put the best foot forward, while hiding the ugly one behind my back. See, there’s a part of us, no matter what our age, that is very, very old. Very grumpy. Very mean-spirited. Very selfish. Very, well, sinful. We are out of sorts with who God wants us to be. The problem is that many of us try to close the gap by airbrush, by make-up, by working out. We try so desperately to impress God and others, but he sees right through us. He knows how old and broken we are, and how desperately we need to be renewed, forgiven, transformed.

Why do we need New Creation? Because we are old creation, old men and women living out our sinful oldness. In theological terms, we are fallen, with Adam and Eve and the whole human race, with human culture and all creation. Our world is shot through with its age, with the Fall. We are broken people living in a broken world. The earth groans under the weight of pollution, global warming and natural disaster. Two-thirds of the world lives on less than a dollar a day. Burma, North Africa, Afghanistan ravaged by war. Thousands live below the poverty line in our very own city. Culturally, we celebrate what is evil, false, and ugly instead of celebrating what is good, true and beautiful. Not always but often. The Cannes Film Festival praised The Anti-Christ, a film about rape; doctors perform millions of abortions a year; the government imprisoned innocent people at Guantanamo, and the list goes on.

But the evil, my friends, is not just “out there.” It is in here. In us.

We are more broken and bent that we dare admit, more sinful and at odds with our good Creator than we can imagine. We have trivialized him and his goodness, truth, and beauty. And because of this, we are under his judgment. We are in desperate need of his saving, renewing power. We all need forgiveness before a holy God. We cannot - no matter how many good deeds - make ourselves new. We are better off being honest about our old, decrepit, sinful nature.

Is the Biblical Future Just Another Utopia?

The biblical vision of the future is compelling, but how is it any different that a utopian novel? Isn't is just a positive reading of the future? Well, one of the unique things about the biblical vision is that it contains both dystopian and utopian visions in the same future. Dystopian novels and films point to a judgment at the end of time, an apocalyptic fall out—Terminator, The Road, Oryx and Crake, Fahrenheit 451, and Revelation 20.

The dystopian judgments occur at the end of history. The utopian paradise is also at the end of history—THX 1138, Brave New World, The Island, and Revelation. Judgment and salvation, dystopia and utopia happen at the end of history, the end of time. But when it comes to the Bible, there's a twist on the timing of dystopia and utopia. Unlike any other worldview, film or novel, the biblical dystopia and utopia converge in the present, not just in the future. How? In Christianity, Judgment Day is rolled back into history at the Cross, where a terrible, future judgment falls in the present--the suffering and death of God. Unexpectedly, the judgment falls on the undeserving God, not on deserving sinners. Jesus Christ enters the middle of history and dies our death, bears our sin, endures our punishment, and receives our judgment.

The gospels tell us that when God’s judgment fell on Jesus, the earth shook, the sky grew black, and rocks split open, the temple curtain was ripped, and Jesus died, crucified for us. When does judgment happen in the biblical story? For those who cling to Christ by faith, it happens in the middle of history, it happens to Jesus not us so that we can be set free. What about new creation? When does that happen? Contrary to the utopias, in Christianity, not only is Judgment Day rolled back to the present but Resurrection Day is rolled back into the middle of history, at the empty tomb. Jesus arises from the grave defeating sin, death and evil in order to make all things new. New Creation of the future breaks into the present, not to deserving but to the undeserving. Those who believe the future now become new creation in Christ, a new humanity.

The authors of the New Testament repeatedly tell us that Jesus is the firstborn from the dead (Col 1:18; Rev 1:5) and that those who confess their sin, are honest about their age, and trust Jesus for their salvation are spiritually raised from the dead. In Christ, New Creation is now. How do we get it? Jesus said:

I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. 

Do you believe this? Resurrection is now and not yet by faith in Christ. Paul writes:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

In the gospel, dystopia and utopia converge in the middle of history on Jesus, who dies our death and gives us his life. The guilty are forgiven. The old become new. At the end of Fahrenheit 451, the city is bombed into oblivion. Montag, a former book-burning fireman, has joined a clan of book-reading rebels. They are silent because there is everything to think about and much to remember. Montag begins to search his mind for a word of hope gathered from his newfound reading. He lands on this: “on either side of the river there was a tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, yielded her fruit every month; And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.” He hopes in New Creation.

The grand news of the gospel, of New Creation, is that we don’t have to wait until the end of history. By faith in Jesus, the endtime Judgment and Resurrection are rolled back to the middle of history and fall on Jesus so that we do not have to die his death but get to live his life. The healing of the nations is now for those who hope in Jesus.

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Jonathan Dodson (M.Div, Th.M) is happy husband to Robie, and proud father to Owen, Ellie & Rosamund. He is also the lead pastor of Austin City Life church and directional leader for PlantR and Gospel Centered Discipleship.com. Jonathan is also the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship (Crossway, 2012). He blogs at jonathandodson.org, enjoys listening to M. Ward, watching sci-fi, and following Jesus. Twitter @Jonathan_Dodson

Impressing the Gospel Through Questions

A friend once told me, “pastors answer questions that no one is asking.” While I disagree with his statement, my friend caused me to ponder the nature of questioning and answering. While all Christians, not only pastors, have the gospel “answer,” the issue at hand is one of questions. In a broken world perhaps people aren’t asking the right questions.

A few years ago I attended an apologetics seminar featuring a few well-known authors and speakers. During a Q&A panel discussion, one of the speakers stated “We mustn’t just answer questions. We must answer the person behind the questions.” This drastically changed my thinking in regard to evangelism and discipleship. We mustn’t seek to only provide better answers, but to encourage the asking of better questions. Questions reveal something about the person questioning and the person answering.

A Culture of Questioning

In a postmodern society, the church has seen a backlash against doctrinal absolutes to the point that questioning everything has become the norm. Everyone has questions. Everyone seeks answers. While questions aren’t in themselves dangerous, how we answer them can be.

Safe Questions, Safe Answers

Some questions prompted by fear are answered by surface-level statements whose goal is self-preservation. While the answers may be factual and true, there is no transparency or vulnerability. In some church circles these have been called “Sunday school answers,” keeping discussion on topics rather than getting to the heart behind the question.

Safe Questions, Dangerous Answers

Some questions are prompted by ignorance. In these conversations, one may be quick to speak an answer, but that answer is not always wise. At best this is a “missing the forest for the trees” scenario.

Dangerous Questions, Safe Answers

Some questions are prompted by pride. These questions are asked so the questioner can answer themselves. Though Scripture is frequently used, it is often misapplied. What’s at stake are idols and religious legalism.

Dangerous Questions, Dangerous Answers

Some questions are prompted by sin and rebellion. The question and answer are often the same, exposing the fallenness of humanity and expressing cultural and personally preferences.

Gospel Questions, Gospel Answers

Gospel-centered discipleship involves not only providing the answers, but reorienting the question itself, getting to the heart behind the question and applying the gospel. “Gospel questioning” is prompted by the good news, asking questions in faith and hope, seasoned with grace, honesty, and vulnerability. Questions are the groundwork for the gospel answer to take root and flourish.

A great example of “gospel questioning” is in Mark 10:17-31. This is a beautiful story of discipleship: an outsider trying to become an insider and a group of insiders learning the nature of the identity they’ve been called to as disciples. A rich man asks Jesus a question. Jesus answers with a question, spinning the disciples into questioning, all the while providing the answers in the interchange. Here we see three questions posed which inform us of the gospel in the immediate context, but also apply to us today.

The Rich Man: “What must I do?” (17)

Behind this question is a man characterized by wealth, knowledge, and good works. The rich man asks a good question – one that we all ask. We answer by our religion, spirituality, and good works.

Jesus: “Why do you call me good?” (18)

The man addresses Jesus as “good teacher” – a seemingly prideful comparison of being on par with the Savior in light of his telling of keeping all the commandments. Jesus responds to the question with a question that draws out the motives and theology of the rich man. Is Jesus good because of what he can do for the man? Is the man addressing Jesus as an equal who’s religious lifestyle is “good” as well?

The Disciples: “Who can be saved?” (26)

The disciples ask a question that has personal and missional implications. “Who can be saved?” as if to say, “Look what we’ve done – We’ve left everything to follow you – what about us?”

Jesus impresses the gospel through questions, revealing the true motives of the human heart. The true issue is not the question itself, but the sin, idols, fear, and pride within the heart that prompts the questions. Here the pride and idols of the rich man are exposed. Likewise, the fear and pride of the disciples is addressed. One could imagine the ignorance of bystanders washing away in light of the revealing of Jesus’ goodness and the salvation he provides.

The Question Whose Answer Changes Everything

Mark 8:27-30 is the turning point of Mark’s gospel. Jesus asks, “who do people say that I am?” This question sets the stage to address cultural views and expectations, revealing the questions people are asking. Jesus not only gives the answer, but uses and question to bring about revelation of the gospel. Jesus asks his disciples, “who do you say that I am?” This question gets to the very heart of any fears and doubts that the disciples may have, evoking the faith and hope of the gospel. On behalf of the disciples Peter responds, “You are the Christ.”

This question is not only the once-for-all proclamation that all Christians cherish, affirming the identity of our Savior Jesus. This is an ongoing question we must continually ask to remind ourselves of the good news.

The Role of Questions in Gospel-Centered Discipleship

Impressing the gospel through questions has implications for both personal discipleship and leadership.

Personally, impress the gospel into your own heart by questioning the questions and objections prompted by sin, idols, pride, and fear. Invite others to question you as well. In the moments of combatting sin and idols, we must answer the gospel question Jesus poses: “Who do you say that I am?” Our response of faith or doubt will change everything – not only for eternity, but the moment-by-moment living in a broken world.

In discipleship, may we answer the person behind the question, tilling the very soil of the questions so that the gospel seed may be planted and flourish. May we answer questions well, and also encourage the asking of questions in light of the gospel. May we face the brokenness of humanity head-on and pry the human heart with questions.

Developing gospel questioning fosters humble reliance on Christ’s work, Scripture’s guidance, and the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. Likewise, gospel questioning develops ongoing rhythms of belief and repentance personally and relationally in community on mission.

What kind of questions are you asking? What kind of answers are you seeking? What kind of questions are you evoking? What kind of answers are you giving?

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Jeremy Carr (ThM, MDiv) is lead pastor and co-founding elder of the WELL in Augusta, GA. He has been a member of the Acts 29 network since 2007 and has written for the Resurgence. Jeremy is husband to Melody and father to Emaline, Jude, Sadie, and Nora. Twitter @thewelljeremy

How Jesus Made Disciples

"What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” - 2 Timothy 2:2

Many Christians and churches will never reproduce themselves. The result is that they take their faith and legacy with them to the grave. Nearly four thousand churches close every year in North America. Ed Stetzer estimates that 70% to 80% of all evangelical churches in the US have either stopped growing or are in decline! What does this mean? Simple: the church in North America is not reproducing. We need to become a reproducing disciple making movement once again.

The ultimate goal of discipleship is to reproduce disciples with the gospel through developing disciple making leaders and church planting. Reproduction ensures that a movement will live past its founding stages. The church was never intended to be an end in itself; rather it is called to reproduce and fulfill the Great Commission to make disciples. Reproduction is the goal of every living thing. We see this throughout the pages of the Bible. The Bible is full of reproductive language. God created humankind, animals, and plants to reproduce. Reproduction is also seen in the agricultural language that Jesus uses throughout the gospels.

Reproducing disciples is the result of selecting, training, and empowering leaders who will in turn reproduce themselves in others. This begins locally with the church and then can take place on a larger scale through reproduction of church plants regionally and internationally. You can be a part of a 21st century disciple making movement that can change our postmodern world for Christ.

Reproducing Disciples: A Few Good Men and Women

The most powerful paradigm for reproducing disciples is the discipleship methodology of Jesus. In The Master Plan of Evangelism, Robert Coleman tells us that Jesus’ plan of reproducing disciples, “was not with programs to reach the multitudes but with men whom the multitudes would follow...Men were to be His method of winning the world to God. The initial objective of Jesus' plan was to enlist men who could bear witness to His life and carry on His work after He returned to the Father." If we are to be like Jesus, we must invest our lives in faithful men and women who will reproduce themselves in others.

Robert Coleman’s Master Plan of Evangelism offers the following eightfold way Jesus trained the twelve disciples; selection, association, consecration, impartation, demonstration, delegation, supervision, and reproduction. In this section, I will summarize Coleman’s analysis of Jesus training of the twelve disciples in this section and apply it to reproducing disciples.

Selection

It all started when Jesus called a few men to follow him. Jesus did not choose everyone he met to be his disciples. He took very seriously the selection of men he trained. Rather than focusing on the multitude, he only chose twelve. The reason for his selectivity was intentional. He chose twelve men and a number of women to instruct and train. They would in time reproduce themselves in others. A few good men and women were Jesus’ master plan of reproducing disciples.

In a similar way, we must be selective in the people with whom we choose to disciple. We should look for people who are faithful, willing, and able to reproduce their discipleship in others. Disciple making does not require a degree or Bible college education; rather we should seek to find men and women who have a passion and a hunger to for Christ. Willingness to answer the call to follow Jesus is the only requirement to be a disciple of Jesus.

Association

Jesus was intimately involved in the lives of his disciples as they followed Him. His training method was spending time with His disciples. Coleman points out that Jesus had no formal training or education; He was His own school and curriculum. This is a radical concept for those of us who live in the 21st century. Whenever we find someone, who seems called into ministry we send them off to let someone else train them. The New Testament model of discipleship was homegrown, natural, and organic. Discipleship happens as men and women spend time with their spiritual mentor.

In a similar way, we should be in the lives of the people we are seeking to develop. We should schedule time with people who we want to disciple outside of normal church functions. We should schedule times to play, pray, and share a meal together with the people we are discipling. This means that discipleship will require something of us. Discipleship costs us something even for those of us who are called to disciple others. We must sacrifice our time, energy, and emotion in others if we are to fulfill the discipleship task of making disciples. I believe this is one of the number one reasons that churches don’t disciple anymore. It takes "too much" time.

Consecration

Jesus expected His followers to obey Him. He sought to create in His disciples a lifestyle of consecrated obedience. Discipleship is about a total consecration to the Lord. As disciples, we need to submit and obey God’s word and plan for our lives. However, many of us have trouble submitting. We live in an individualistic culture where people do not want anyone else telling us what to do. That is why submission and obedience to God is so hard as well as important. When we become obedient to God in every area of our lives, we will experience victorious Christian living. God can only use men and women who are willing to obey Him.

Impartation

Jesus gave himself away to His disciples by imparting to them everything that the Father had given Him. He gave Himself freely. He imparted not only Himself, but also spiritual truth about life and ministry. He taught them about the scriptures and the Holy Spirit. Just as Jesus imparted Himself to His disciples, we must seek to give ourselves to the men and women that we are called to serve. There is a transfer of godly wisdom and character when true discipleship takes place. As leaders, it is important for us to grasp that we have a spiritual responsibility to impart ourselves in others if we are going to make disciples.

Demonstration

Jesus demonstrated how the disciples should live the Christ centered life. One reason Jesus had such a lasting impact on His disciples is that He lived the message before them daily. He was the message and the method. By walking with Jesus, they saw how He lived His faith in the real world. He prayed before them. He fed the poor. He had compassion on the multitude. He healed the sick. In other words, He lived the life that He wanted to reproduce in His disciples. After Jesus' death and resurrection, He expected His disciples to say and do what He said and did.

It is important that we practice what we preach, because the people we are training will follow our life and example. It is not enough to preach the gospel, we have to practice it daily. Our personal walk with God is one of the most important factors in developing godly leaders. We will reproduce what we are. The most powerful message is a life lived for God. Make sure that the life you live is worthy for others to follow.

Delegation

Jesus assigned His disciples work. He developed His disciples by delegating ministry responsibilities to them. He sent His disciples out and gave them real ministry. Hands on experience was a vital part of Jesus' discipleship curriculum. It's funny that churches make people do things even Jesus did not do. Some churches make people go through a yearlong process before they can serve in any capacity in the church. Likewise, some people spend years in college and seminary with little if any real ministry involvement. Churches need to rethink delegating spiritual responsibility to people, especially new believers. Is it any wonder our discipleship is often anemic? Sadly, most people think the pastor is supposed to do everything in the church. We must not forget the power of involving people in ministry.

Supervision

Supervision is important. Jesus supervised His disciples. Whenever they returned from a ministry trip, they would report to Him. This allowed a time for the disciples to reflect, review, and to receive instruction from Jesus. Supervision is an important part of leadership development, especially when dealing with new believers. We want to delegate and empower people to act, but we also need to help supervise them to make sure they stay on track. Many times people will get into trouble without proper supervision. Supervision is an art. On the one hand, if we are not careful, we can micro-manage people. On the other hand, we can be so loose that we don’t supervise people at all.

Reproduction

Jesus expected His disciples to reproduce His likeness in others. He imparted His message and mission to His disciples so that they would reproduce themselves in others and make disciples of all nations. The Great Commission implies that the followers of Jesus will reproduce themselves and “Make disciples.” Reproduction is how the Christian movement was born.

Today, what has become a 2.1 billion-member movement started with only twelve disciples. I want to return to the analogy of the Vine in John 15:1-17. The purpose of the Vine (Jesus) and the branches (us) is to bear fruit. Christians are to work for and expect a harvest (Matthew 9:37-38; Luke 10:2). Let us commit our lives and our churches to reproducing ourselves in others in order to make disciples of our communities and our world.

We need to rediscover the reproductive nature of the church. We are called to select, train, and send missional disciples of Christ out into the world who will be able repeat the process of discipleship. What we need in our day is an organic disciple making movement that will train and send men and women to be reproducing disciples of Christ.

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Dr. Winfield Bevins serves as lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, which he founded in 2005.  His life’s passion in ministry is discipleship and helping start new churches. He lives in the beautiful beach community of the Outer Banks with his wife Kay and two daughters where he loves to surf and spend time at the beach with his family and friends. Twitter: @winfieldbevins

Raising Gospel Centered Children

When Jesus instructs us to go out and make disciples of all nations, that includes our children—our closest disciples. Of course, discipleship should not end in the home, but our families are our most naturally-authentic relationships. Everyday, the gospel compels us to ask: How are we discipling our children? More importantly, how should we be discipling them? There is a tendency (sometimes unknowingly) for parents to fall into child-centered discipleship. This could happen for many reasons, even from a well-meaning desire to see our children become Christians. However, what we may fail to grasp is that we should be applying the gospel daily even to the relationships with our children. They don't need something else; they need the same thing we all need—they need Jesus. If we stop to consider the motivations of our hearts—what is driving us as parents—we can gain important insight into the discipleship of our children. The driver behind gospel-centered discipleship is the glory of Christ. The driver behind child-centered discipleship is the glory of our children, and by extension, our own glory. In order to understand my own motives, I've learned to ask myself: Do I want my children to know God, to rest in the person and work of Christ, to have their many, many sins washed in the blood of the Lamb, and to eternally glorify Him? Or rather do I want my children to be “good,” to scrupulously avoid sin and follow biblical injunctions, to avoid bad consequences in this life? Obviously, these are not mutually exclusive, but where does Christ ask us to put our emphasis? My answers to these questions revealed some very selfish desires. I have lived with fear and anxiety over my children's sins, and I've come to realize what was in my heart. I was not offended by their sins for the sake of God's reputation, nor was I offended because sin is rebellion and an affront to the person of Christ himself. No, I feared sin in my children's lives because I cared more about all the earthly consequences of sin. For example, a little over eight years ago, I grabbed hold of Deuteronomy 6 and started rattling it like a sword in a battle cry for homeschooling. I had convinced myself that this was the only type of schooling capable of producing godly children. At the heart of my child-centered thinking, was the belief that I, as a parent—not Christ, as our Lord—must do everything to protect my children from the world and sin.

By pure grace, almost two years ago, I was convicted that I had valued my children's well-being more than I had valued Jesus. I trembled at the realization that the comfort and safety (even the spiritual safety) of my children, had become more important to me than the person of Christ. Their “godliness” was a higher priority in my own life than was Christ’s glory. For all my talk about holy living, I was unwilling to follow Abraham’s spiritual example. I had denied Christ’s call to forsake all else and follow Him. Instead, I had attempted to supplant the Holy Spirt, to save and sanctify my children by my good works. This is the sad truth of child-centered discipleship—at its core it is self-centered legalism, even rebellion.

Because we are our children's parents and earthly authority (while they are young) we can slip into the mindset that their salvation and sanctification depends on us. This slip then leads to mentoring and training that is child-centered. This is false. The Holy Spirit is responsible for conviction of sin and bringing people to salvation. That includes the little people in our homes. When we search out the Spirit, when we talk about Him and hold Him up before our children, we are modeling a life of Spirit-dependence for our children. This is training them to walk in step with the Sprit.

However, when we put our children, their needs (physical, spiritual or otherwise), their goals (or ours) before Christ, when we lead them without relying on the Spirit (by relying on ourselves to fulfill our children), we are being false teachers at worst and poor disciple-makers at best. It can't be all about them; it has to be all about Jesus. This is hard and can be a real blind spot for parents because we are instructed in Scriptures to bring up our children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). But our wayward hearts can pervert even a verse like that by setting our efforts to secure our children's spiritual well being above all else. Make no mistake, our efforts are very important, but our efforts do not have power to save and transform. Nothing that we do will ever eclipse the power and grace of Jesus.

How do we set a good example of a disciple before the eyes of our children so they can emulate us? It's not just about making Jesus our priority. It's about showing our children that our identity is in Christ. From our identity in Christ, our identity as parents will naturally flow. Along with this we must model a life of reliance on the Holy Spirit. Our children need to hear us say: “I prayed for the Lord to fill you with his Holy Spirit today.” Or, “I prayed for the Spirit to give you wisdom when you met with your teacher.”

How can we get there? The Holy Spirit often prompts us to take a hard look at the things that excite us. Our children pick up on our excitement and our passions. If getting through today's installment from the church family worship book takes precedence over having compassion on a red-eyed child who is up past his or her bedtime, our children will begin to sense that checking off a box on our godly to-do list is more important than loving our neighbor.

D.A. Carson says this extraordinarily well in the context of the student/teacher relationship:

Recognize that students do not learn everything you teach them. They certainly do not learn everything I teach them! What do they learn? They learn what I am excited about; they learn what I emphasize, what I return to again and again; they learn what organizes the rest of my thoughts. So if I happily presuppose the gospel but rarely articulate it and am never excited about it, while effervescing frequently about, say, ecclesiology or textual criticism, my students may conclude that the most important thing to me is ecclesiology or textual criticism. They may pick up my assumption of the gospel; alternatively, they may even distance themselves from the gospel; but what they will almost certainly do is place at the center of their thought ecclesiology or textual criticism, thereby wittingly or unwittingly marginalizing the gospel.

My husband and I saw this same mistranslation happen with our children when we were not deliberate about the gospel. Even worse than merely de-emphasizing the gospel, we started realizing that our children had become judgmental little scoffers. Why? Because we were so busy comparing and contrasting our education, parenting, and worship style choices with those of other parents that we had marginalized the gospel before our kids. We were way more excited about high church liturgy, classical education, “courtship,” family worship times, you name it. We actually believed they were signs of spiritual maturity. The only problem was, we had neglected the one and only thing that could ever give our children and us the power and strength for real spiritual maturity—the gospel.

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Luma Simms (@lumasimms) is a wife and mother of five delightful children between the ages of 1 and 18. She studied physics and law before Christ led her to become a writer, blogger, and Bible study teacher. Her book Gospel Amnesia is forthcoming on GCD Press. She blogs regularly at Gospel Grace.

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For more resources on family worship check-out Winfield Bevin's A Beginner's Guide to Family Worship.