United: An Interview with Trillia Newbell

My friend Trillia Newbell has written a needed and helpful new book called United: Captured by God's Vision for Diversity. In United, Trillia explores the importance of pursuing diversity in the church by sharing her own unique experiences growing up in the South and attending a predominately white church. She champions the theology of diversity throughout the book through the Scriptures providing compelling reasons to pursue diversity. She was gracious enough to allow us to interview her today.

Brandon Smith: You write in United about your friendship with two girls of other ethnicities. How do you think the friendship, accountability, and discipleship helped you feel a part of your local church?

Trillia Newbell: There is something unique about really getting to know someone. We can walk into the doors of our churches and never build deep friendships. I was thankful to have met Amy (white) and Lillian (Chinese) early on. We decided to begin meeting together every other week to do accountability. The Lord used those girls in profound ways. First, it was so nice to have friends. When you are in a new place, as a new Christian, it can be scary to navigate your place in the church. But having friends like these helped ease that tension. Second, we had older women to bounce things off of and then we also had each other. We could ask pointed questions and pray for one another. It was a rich season of fellowship which taught me how to engage in fellowship with other members of the body.

B: You became a Christian in your 20's. Tell us about your conversion. How important is evangelism in the pursuit of diversity?

T: I was sitting in a hotel room with another gal when she popped open her Bible. I was there to lead a cheer camp and she was my assistant. We had never met each other before but the Lord had divinely appointed this meeting that would change the whole course of my life. I remember putting up a guard and asking her what she was doing. She said she was going to have a quiet time. By the end of that time I was sitting on her bed and we were both crying while she shared the gospel with me.

It took two years and two broken engagements before I finally submitted and committed my life to the Lord. He was faithful to draw me to himself and to save me. It was and remains amazing to me. But what if my friend, who is white, had decided not to share with me because I am black? What if she shrunk back in fear because of our ethnicities? The gospel transforms the way we think of ethnicity. The gospel empowers us to share cross-culturally because it is the Good News that all need to hear. Jesus charged the disciples to make other disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19). This mindset is important to the pursuit of diversity because we could find ourselves otherwise reaching out to only those like us. God paints the beautiful picture of disciples of all nations, all tribes, and all tongues. He most often uses his people to accomplish this goal.

B: How important do you think discipleship is as churches seek to pursue diversity?

T: Perhaps you or your readers have experienced this…a person comes to your church for a little while but after a few Sunday’s they stop showing up. We might assume that they decided they didn’t like the teaching or worship. Maybe. But I wonder if they got to know anyone? I would wonder if anyone said hello and then invited them to lunch or showed some sort of hospitality and interest beyond a “Hello.” Discipleship typically starts with relationship and relationship begins with intentional care. In other words, we have to pursue one another first and then we have the opportunity to teach one another the Word. But there is almost no doubt that if we begin to pursue one another and teach one another then we will build churches that reflect the Last Days.

There isn’t a guarantee, of course. But I do think it’s worth the effort. God gives us a picture in Titus 2 of what it could look like for the whole church to be involved in discipleship. I think this model helps us to build into each other and build the church. I am confident that if I didn’t have people who genuinely cared for me during my early days attending my old church, I would not have stayed. I’m sure of it. But because there were people who showed love, care, and interest, I stayed and built relationships and was discipled.

B: You've shared often that United isn't so much about diversity as it is about love. Could you explain?

T: When people hear the word diversity there is a temptation to automatically put up a guard or to assume we are talking about quotas. It is a bad assumption but one that I completely understand. The word diversity has been politicized and causes many to cringe at its sound. But the Church is made up of people, made in the image of God, equal in fall and redemption. We aren’t talking about, as C.S. Lewis puts it, mere mortals. This is why the pursuit of diversity in the church is about love. Jesus came and died for the church, for His bride, for people. John 13: 6, God so loved the world that he gave his son, isn’t a cliché, it is the glorious truth of the gospel. Diversity is about building a church that reflects who Jesus died for: all nations, tribes, and tongues. And we pursue this because Christ first loved us. And we pursue others because he has called us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

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Trillia Newbell (@trillianewbell) is a wife, mom, and writer who loves Jesus. She is the author of United: Captured by God’s Vision for Diversity (Moody).

10 Ways to Kill Community

I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but there are some flinching verses in the New Testament when it comes to the necessity of being in Christian community. Being ‘in Christ,’ being a Christian, means that we are with Christ’s people. A gospel-centered life will always involve the company of the gospel, the redeemed saints of God. A life that is worthy of the gospel will bob in the wake of a gospel community.

“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel” (Phil. 1:27).

According to Paul, a life that is in step with the gospel is a life in sync with the Christian community, being gospel-focused together. If we are serious about the gospel, we will be serious about community. There are ten community killers that we must avoid. One from Hebrews 10 and nine more from Colossians 3.

10.  Don’t Meet with Other Christians

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24–25)

The author of Hebrews couldn’t have been clearer: “Don’t neglect meeting together.” The Christian life is a community life. It’s with the Church. To truly walk with Jesus is to walk with Jesus’s people. Consider the New Testament books. Every New Testament letter, except four (1–2 Timothy, Titus, and Philemon), are written to churches. We can’t obey the New Testament, or practically understand its context, without the community. We are to live in community not just for ourselves, but also for one another. To stir up others and have them stir us to love Jesus and spread the fame of his name. Our American default is, “What will I get out of this?” Here’s the answer: What you get is loving and serving others.

Community is so essential; I think eternity depends on it. Hebrews 10:24–25 is one of the classic community passages—and for good reason. But have you notice the eschatological impetus in the text? “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24–25). There are two important questions two dwell on. Who are the ‘some’? And why talk about the ‘Day’?

Who are the ‘some’? It’s those who have made a habit of not meeting and being with other Christians. Two groups of Christians in the verse: Christians that meet together; Christians that don’t meet together. This is a warning in Hebrews. Eventually, it’s those who have abandoned the Church, distanced themselves from community, and therefore they have abandoned Christ. “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us” (1 John 2:19). Unbelievers, goats in sheep’s clothing, eventually stop grazing among the people of God.

Why talk about the ‘Day’? In a stellar passage about encouraging one another, why address the Day of the Lord, judgment, and wrath? The writer of Hebrews also does this earlier in his letter:

“Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.” (Heb. 3:12–14)

He warns about falling away and holding fast till the end—which can be curtailed by the communal command “exhort one another.”

The writer of Hebrews is saying, “Commune together, encourage each other, so you don’t fall away.” What about once saved always saved? Yes, amen. The Spirit seals all of those who are truly in Christ. But the Bible says nothing about, “Once professed always protected.” Profession, in a sense, is proven, revealed in obedience to Christ, the fruit of regeneration, “holding till the end.” We are here to help each other stay the course for that Last Day. Community isn’t just to help you get through the week—it’s to get you through Judgment Day.

9. Lie About Yourself

“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” (Col. 3:9–10)

Community thrives on honesty, light, and love. Paul urges us not to lie to one another because he knows we will be tempted to hide the truth about how we are doing and what we are doing. But remember, we have a new identity in Christ. We aren’t our sins—we are Christ’s. Once we believe that everyone one of us is in being renewed, and none have “arrived,” the motivation to lie to will fly away.

8. Focus on Differences

“Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.” (Col. 3:11)

Community isn’t conformity. Unity isn’t uniformity. We are all very different people. A lot of men in my church are obsessed with killing animals. I love eating animals. I’ve gone hunting with them; it was a lot of getting up early to see a whole lot of nothing. But do differences in hobbies mean we can’t have community together? Do we have anything in common? You better believe we do: Christ. We are all different members of the body of Christ. Some are hands, feet, toes. You think the feet are interested in gloves? Think the hands are into shoes? No! But they know they need each other. Don’t major on the minor differences. Christ is all, not us, at all.

7. Have a Prickly Heart

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (Col. 3:12)

It’s one thing to show up to someone’s house, and a horrible thing to be a cactus while you are there. Are you compassionate toward others or crusty? Gospel-centered people aren’t allowed to be cranky people. It’s out of step with the gospel of joy. “Jerks for Jesus” shouldn’t be a thing, and sadly, that is how many Christians live. Peer into the gospel, and let it clothe you in the composure of Jesus of Nazareth.

6. Don’t Bear with Others

“Bearing with one another." (Col. 3:13)

Bearing with one another isn’t, “Yes, they are ridiculous. I’ll be the bigger person.” Rather, it sounds like, “I love this person and I want to serve them like Christ has served me. I can do more than put up with them, I’ll endure with them, and carry their burdens with them.” Jesus calls us his friends, he laid his life down for us, he loves us, and now we lay our lives down for each other—because we love each other (John 15:12–13). Selfishness won’t do this.

5. Don’t Forgive

“If one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Col. 3:13)

When we are living in gospel mode, we will be quick to forgive because the bloody cross is always in our sight. Christians aren’t allowed to hold a grudge—that is anti-gospel. Forgive others from that soil outside of Jerusalem, muddled with the blood of Jesus, remembering that God has no grudge with you—therefore, we must forgive.

4. Be Unloving

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Col. 3:14)

The gospel is love in action. “For God so loved, he gave.” Love is more than a sentiment; it’s always a sacrifice. Gospel-laden community will be filled with the brand of love spelled out by Paul: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:4–7).

3. Be Thankless

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” (Col. 3:15)

If you don’t have a disposition of thanks for the body of Christ, indifference isn’t far away. Distance is around the corner. Community isn’t a hamper on your schedule, it’s a helper. Community isn’t the gospel, but it is one of the gospel’s multitudinous and glorious gifts of grace.

2. Don’t Care About the Growth of Others

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Col, 3:16)

Our spiritual growth isn’t just for us, it’s for the community. Community is for the well being of everyone, not just one—not just you. Christian community isn’t just about doing some Bible study; it’s coming together to say, “I want to help you grow. I want to be a part of developing the best you possible. Jesus is calling me to you. And I need you to do that for me, too.”

1. Don’t Let Christ Be Your All

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17)

If your life is all about Jesus, you will be about the things that Jesus is about—and Jesus is about his Church. Always and forever. When Jesus is our all, we will want to give our lives for the people that Jesus gave up his life for, his redeemed people. Holding back our lives from people in the church is one of the most anti-Christ things we could do. Rather, in word or deed, couch or coffee, potluck or grill out, prayer list or accountability time, let it all be done in the name of the Lord Jesus.

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J.A. Medders is the Lead Pastor of Redeemer Church in Tomball, TX. He is pursuing his M.Div. at Southern Seminary. He and Natalie have one precious children, Ivy and Oliver. Jeff digs caffeinated drinks, books, and the Triune God. He blogs at www.jamedders.com and tweets from @mrmedders.

Getting in the Right Circles

Chances are, you sat around with a circle of friends yesterday evening watching (or not watching) the Super Bowl. Yeah, the first half was brutal. A first-play safety, two interceptions, the scoreless Broncos, and a couple of awful double commercials (Ford, a-hem). Some of the better commercials were gripping stories, like the Maserati commercial, which opens with gigantic crashing wave, followed by a terrifying twister, and then an ominous shadow eclipsing the grandeur of a rock-hard mountain face, all narrated in nubile innocence, hauntingly announcing “our lumbering giants.” The advertisement is so epic that the moment the car is revealed you feel used, manipulated, flat-out marketed. The story pulls at our fears, stirs our emotions, and even pricks hope for rescue from our giants, only to be offered the salvation of machinery. Many of us have rejected such silly notions, that human ingenuity and leaps in technology can bring about a societal utopia. Truth be told, we’d rather listen to the stories of our friends. At least their stories are true, even if they are mundane. Real community is built on real stories, not pipedream commercials or the failing hope of modernism. Or is it?

Circle of Friends

Today, what’s often passed off as community is nothing more than a circle of friends. A circle of friends is an insular, self-affirming circle of homogeneity where everyone’s alike. We share similar styles, food preferences, and values. We laugh at the same jokes, discuss the same movies, visit the same haunts. All of this is fairly innocent, but also indicting.

Media critic and documentarian Adam Curtis has suggested that since the explosion of information and celebrity culture, we now determine reality based on our own experiences with our circle of friends. Sure, we don’t fall for Maserati ads, but we do fall for our friends. These circles of friends become closed off to other perspectives and see the world through their own cult of connectivity. Today, our peers possess more authority than government, history, reason, or God.

Today, our peers possess more authority than government, history, reason, or God.

For example, what we do on the weekends is often the result of friendship influences, not deep values. Our views on sexuality, politics, and even theology are sometimes shaped more by our circle than by a transcendent authority. If you’re Christian, you may consume immoral media or refuse to sacrifice your time and money for others because, well, your circle of Christian friends has settled for this. Comfort is the norm.

Is our morality, our commitment, our service, our very identity shaped more by our circle of friends than by the kingdom of Christ? We say we follow Jesus, but often hide behind our friends. It’s hard to break free from the circle of friends. There’s a lot of social pressure. And if we don’t have a bigger story to shape our lives, a more universal narrative to reorder our world, then why not go with the ones we trust and admire? Why not fall in line with their mediocre spirituality, their comfortable ethic, and their tolerant morality? So we dig in locally, disbelieving universal stories, and create our own narrow-minded versions of reality. We base our discipleship on our friends' discipleship, our holiness on others’ holiness, our missional boldness on others’ boldness. The circle of friends isn’t as innocent as it seems.

Encircling Jesus

Jesus, on the other hand, doesn’t create a circle of friends; he creates a kingdom community. His disciples are from all kinds of vocations—fishing, accounting, and so on. They come from different places, and have different accents, but the one thing that holds them together is Jesus and his gospel message. He doesn't merely attract a community; he creates a new family. He calls his disciples out of their families and into a new family: “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:33-35). Jesus creates a new family that conforms to his will, not a circle ensnared in the will and whim of friends.

A circle forms around Jesus, not around one another. Jesus forms not a circle of friends, but a circle of family, who together follow his lead. We must pause to reflect—do we bear the family resemblance? Where are we ensnared? Will we let go and follow Jesus?

When the disciples followed Jesus, they began to take on his characteristics. In the gospel of Luke, they follow his pattern of ministry: 1) Proclaim the kingdom message 2) Perform a healing 3) Perform an exorcism. First, the twelve disciples (Luke 9), and then the seventy (Luke 10). We need to exorcise our cultural demons and receive the healing power of the gospel. Paul repeatedly calls for conformity to Christ, while admonishing us to put off worldly conformity (Rom 12:1-3).

Come After Me

What compelled the early disciples to leave their families and follow Jesus? It is rather odd, radical, that they left everything behind to follow him. What was Jesus’s hook? “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men” (1:17). The translation of “follow” is unfortunate. Jesus doesn’t say, “Follow me”; instead, he says, “Come after me.” There’s another Greek word for follow, which appears in Mark 8:34, where Jesus says: “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself take up his cross and follow me” (8:34). But the word translated “follow” in 1:17 actually means “after, back, or behind.” You see, Jesus isn’t saying follow me; he’s saying, “Get behind me,” “Come after me.”

Jesus isn’t saying follow me; he’s saying, “Get behind me,” “Come after me.”

What’s the difference? When we think of following someone, it puts the emphasis on us. We click the button to follow someone on Twitter. We make the effort to follow an athlete’s career. If you follow a band, you’ll spend effort and money reading their interviews, watching videos, going to shows, and buying their merchandise. We follow. But Jesus says come after ME. Where does he put the emphasis? Not on our following but on his leading. Jesus says come after me, get behind me; I’ll pioneer, go ahead, make a way. Don't start by following Jesus, but by coming after him.

So you see, we need more than a new community, and even more than a new family; we need a new person to come after. We need to follow in the wake of someone who is great enough to chart the course for true humanity, while also able to leave behind waves of grace for our every failure. Instead of leaping out in front of Jesus in our own strength, or encircling our friends in weakness, we need to come after Jesus.

When we encircle Christ, and allow his gospel story to re-narrate our lives, we gain the hope of true purpose and transformation. When we return authority to Jesus, and retrieve it from our circle of friends, we will find flourishing and faith, change and peace, grace and godliness. His death-resurrection narrative delivers on its epic waves to defeat the lumbering giants of sin and even death. Jesus rises from the dead to create a new, countercultural community that bears a family resemblance.

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*I am indebted to Mark Sayers for drawing my attention to the work of Adam Curtis.

** View the Maserati commercial.

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Jonathan K. Dodson (M.Div, Th.M) is happy husband to Robie, and proud father to Owen, Ellie, and Rosamund. He is also the lead pastor of City Life Church and author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship & Raised? Finding Jesus by Doubting the Resurrection. He enjoys listening to M. Ward, watching sci-fi, and following Jesus. He blogs at jonathandodson.org.

Bringing Young and Old Together

It appears to me that there is a growing chasm between generations in local churches. Churches are becoming more and more generationally homogenous. If you entered a church on Sunday, you might easily label the church as either a baby boomer, generation X, or millennial church. Obviously, this is a broad observation. There are churches that do well at being generationally varied. But I don't think enough attention has been drawn to how uniform many churches are and how dangerous this is to discipleship and spiritual growth. Let me first share my own experience.

Generational Gaps

I’ve attended four churches in my Christian journey. Each of them had a generational makeup that defined them. Likewise, I’ve interacted with a handful of other churches from which I’ve built this experience.

Two churches that I attended had a strong constituency of young families. One was a baby boomer church; the other was a generation X church. In both, the singles and college ministry was a ghost town. In one of them, there was not a grey hair in the crowd, merely families with children through teens.

I attended the first as a college and single. I was the anomaly of the church. In order to find gospel community with people from my generation, I traveled through several college ministries or singles ministries for four years. I did what I could to build community within the church, but there were many barriers that prevented this. One of which was the lack of urgency that the older generations felt to remedy the situation.

In the second, my wife and I were married with children and I served the church as a pastor. I shepherded the teen generation and was at max capacity. I didn’t have time to pour into my own generation and build community. This generation remained fragmented with no voice or leadership; it had a tough time finding a place in the church.

The third church was a dying church with an aged congregation. Then it relaunched. After relaunch it was mostly constituted of college and single students. As I have watched this church progress, I have seen it turn the corner and develop more heterogeneity. But I can tell that this church has been intentional. My wife and I attended this church between the two churches I shared about above. We felt very connected to our own generation, but were hungry to have more mature saints to pour into our lives.

Then there are the churches I hear whispered about. “Did you hear that such and such church closed their doors?” These churches after decades of loyal saints serving could not afford to maintain their facilities. They atrophied. They lacked younger families, singles, and college-aged adults to sustain gospel ministry momentum. These church facilities become community centers, pubs, or small businesses. As I’ve traveled the Chicagoland area during the past few months, I have encountered the truth of this. What were once beautiful bastions of Christianity have been converted into businesses.

Thankfully, there are churches that have a healthy cross-section of generations present. The fourth church, which I attend now, represents this healthy cross-section. In this church, not one generation sticks out from another.

Why the Divide?

One reason that a church is generationally uniform is because it started that way and stayed that way.

For example, if the plaid, bearded, hipster, millennial church planting conferences that I’ve gone to during the last year is any indication of the uniformity within past generations, I might be onto something. These bearded, plaid-bearing men are a type that I am a part; I’m pointing the finger at myself here. We love to gather together with others just like us to learn how to minister those who are - shocker - just like us.

If churches strive to be generationally mixed, it is important to start that way. They cannot be started with young people who are reacting to the stagnancy of older generational churches. It is not outlandish to claim that younger generations of the church become frustrated with how older generational churches function. The reasons for frustration vary. It could involve theological, philosophical, or cultural generational preferences.

But these preferences have planted certain kinds of generational churches. Some may question if a generation can have theological preferences. But I guarantee there is a young, restless, and Reformed millennial generation that has “left behind” the generations before it.

Likewise, generation X made a pivotal shift philosophically. This generation became seeker sensitive. This generation valued church growth that emphasized programs. The generation before it resisted this shift. The one coming after has seen its foibles and is running away from it as well.

Finally, the baby boomer generation withstood all of these changes. They maintained the culture that it had before generation X. It resisted the philosophical shift. A segment of this generation is delighted with the Reformed part of the young, restless and Reformed millennials. Another segment feels more threatened than ever by how this generation embraces certain aspects of culture. They dress more relaxed, have tattoos, imbibe in alcohol, and smoke pipes and cigars. This generation navigates media in a redemptive mode. All of this frightens the older generations.

Unfortunately, these fears build gospel blockades rather than bridges. From one generation’s frustration, another generation of church dies; the younger generation abandons ship and starts a younger-aged church. This has been going on for decades now. Thus, we can recognize when a church began in the mid 20th-century, the 70's and 80's, or the 90's and 2000's. You can see the predominant life-stage represented within the church as easily as you can date the architecture of the building.

Here is a major caveat. Do not read this article and think that this guy is against church planting. On the contrary, I am a church-planting intern. I wholeheartedly believe that church planting is biblical. Paul traveled the Mediterranean region starting local churches and installing men that he mentored into elder roles in those churches.

In America, there is a great need of new churches because of gospel poverty. This is not a slam against church planting. It is a caution against a certain kind of church planting; the kind of church planting that does not possess a healthy cross-section of generations. New church plants should intentionally be generationally varied. We should be alarmed when visiting a church plant and the assembly is nearly all college students - regardless of how well-meaning, doctrinally sound, and genuine the community is. Likewise, be concerned if a church plant only has young families.

Listen church planters. Develop a core group that is generationally diversified and you have hope.

Building Gospel Bridges

So how does a church plant or established church build generational bridges and develop a healthy cross-section of generations? How do they take down the gospel blockades? The only way to bridge this growing chasm between these generations is through the gospel. Here are three gospel-bridges a church can build towards having an inter-generational church.

1. Construct Inter-Generational Gospel Communities

If Colossians 3:18-4.1 and Ephesians 5:25-6.9 are examples of household codes, Titus 2:1-10 is a church code. It is a code of how multiple generations and people from varied life situations relate with one another within the church in light of the gospel. Older men, younger men, older women, and younger women should all be present in the body.

Verse 11 explicitly mentions that the gospel is “for all people.” This is not incidental. The gospel saves and unites all people in gospel community. Is this what your gospel communities look like? Have you considered creating Sunday school classes or community groups that are intentionally generationally varied?

I know this is a risky task. How can these generations with such divergent views and lifestyles function in harmonious gospel communities? They do so by the gospel. The gospel has to be the number one undergirding principle in which the community submits. We have to submit to our theology first and then build our philosophy and culture around it. That philosophy and culture should value diversity and respect authority.

Inter-generational gospel communities will add a deeper dimension to your communities. Older men and women will provide wisdom and biblical guidance in the study of Scripture. Younger men and women will infuse the gospel community with vigor and zeal to be intentional to serve both the church and the surrounding community.

2. Promote Inter-Generational Gospel Discipleship

Titus 2:3-4 indicates how older women train younger women. Does your church offer discipleship groups for younger women to learn from older women?

Likewise, similar discipleship groups could be offered for men. The book of Proverbs sets this standard. Proverbs 1:8 indicates that this book is written from the standpoint of a father to a son on living skillfully. Obviously this is the ideal. A mother should instruct her daughter and a father should instruct his son in the ways of each gender.

But guess what? Your church has first generation Christians in it. Those Christians need spiritual fathers and mothers to mentor and lead them through Scripture. My wife and I are an example of this. We are grateful for the men and women who have come alongside us during our eight years of marriage to mentor us towards the gospel and godliness.

Does your church offer inter-generational gospel discipleship? Is this a bridge your church employs to help men and women grow in the gospel and godliness?

3. Make Disciples of Multiple Generations

The gospel is for every generation. In 1 John 2, there is a gospel refreshment course for fathers, young men, and children. John says that he writes to remind them of the sin they’ve been rescued from, the enemy they’ve overcome, and the God whom they know. The gospel refreshes these generations that exist harmoniously within the church.

This is the same gospel that should be preached to multiple generations. Is your church taking intentional steps to preach this gospel to multiple generations?

There are intentional steps that a church may take to make disciples of multiple generations. Serving these people in their natural environment is an excellent way to build a gospel bridge.

To reach mature generations, do outreach to an assisted living community. Maybe there is a person there with gospel interest that needs a ride to church on Sunday. To reach young families, college-aged, and singles with the gospel, look for outreach opportunities at elementary schools, colleges, or local businesses. Help paint a school. Adopt a fraternity or sorority. Offer to do landscaping for a local business.

Allow these service bridges to become gospel bridges. As you serve these people, you are earning the opportunity to share the gospel with them. You welcome them to cross the bridge from their natural environment into your church environment. Through these relationships you make disciples of multiple generations.

Together in the Gospel

The Church has a long way to go to reconcile the generational divide within her. When generations fail to interact with one another and listen to one another, it only widens the divide. When younger generations act as exiles or evacuate from one church to start new, younger, and hipster churches, it only aggravates the situation. Young and old have to come together to build gospel bridges because the gospel reconciles all people..

Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We could apply that to young and old, as well. Joel 2:28 and Acts 2:17 anticipates this. These two Scriptures give a snapshot of the Church in the last days. It will constitute of sons and daughters and young and old. All of these generations will function together to bring attention to the gospel.

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Joey Cochran served as an Associate Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma for four years before transitioning to be the Church Planting Intern at Redeemer Fellowship in St. Charles, Illinois under the supervision of Pastor Joe Thorn. Joey is a graduate of Dallas Seminary. Joey blogs at jtcochran.com and you can follow him on Twitter at @joeycochran.

3 Ways to Love Negative Nancy

  Every pastor, ministry leader, and church-goer knows what a negative church person smells like. Cantankerous with a hint of Folgers.

But let’s get more specific.

I’m talking about the person who is negative about everything but they show up every Sunday, are in a community group, shoot — they even give 10%. What do you do with this person? They are suspicious of your leadership, the direction of the church, the new ministry endeavor, the new hire, the last sermon series, the mission’s dollars, the elders, the deacons, the membership process, the lack of position papers on alcohol and home-schooling, the quilting ladies, and the amount of bulletins printed. But they love the bad church coffee, which makes sense, they are in charge of it!

Get the picture?

Negativity comes in many different packages and people; emails and phone calls, early coffee meetings and late night barn-burners — how will you deal with it? I’ve had a man stand in my office, look me in the eyes and say, “I don’t like that you are the pastor of this church.” Thanks for sharing!

Here are three things to consider when dealing with negative church people.

1. Humble Yourself

Before you handle the pan, put on a glove. Deal with your sin before you deal with theirs. Search your own heart before you deal with someone else's.

It’s always good and biblical to humble yourself. You aren’t that great. You aren’t above being questioned or criticized. Don’t pull a muscle while thinking so highly of yourself (Rom. 12:3). Let the gospel shape and mold you.

Jesus had negative critics — and still does. Some of the strongest negativity came from his team of leaders; Peter had a knack for being negative. Peter tried to stop Jesus from fulfilling his mission. Jesus corrected him, strongly mind you, and still kept him around.

I’ve heard too many pastors and planters shoo someone away that was detracting from their mission and vision because they went against the grain; don’t put the cart infront of the horse and kick out the passengers.

2. Shepherd Them

Negative saints are still saints. They need a shepherd, not a sniper.

Instead of writing them off, fulfill your duty as a Pastor and pastor them. If they’ve sinned, rebuke them. Encourage them in the gospel. Meet with them, face to face — email wars are for losers. And when you meet, be biblical. Embody the fruits of the Spirit. You may benefit from them by asking about their perspectives. Do your homework before you give a grade. It takes a humble shepherd to learn from a negative wart, and it take a proud pastor to send a saint out to pasture with out shepherding them on the way. Maybe Mr. Negative needs to find a new church, or maybe he needs his pastor to pastor him.

Here’s the deal: negative sheep don’t detract from the mission and vision, they are whom the mission and vision exists for — if it’s biblical. Christians are never distractions. Mr. Chipper might be a slithering wolf, but you have to get up close and find out. Don’t judge negative church folk like you’re cooking a hot-pocket; you need more time. “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone” (1 Thess. 5:14-15).

Some negative church folk have a rap-sheet filled with church hopping. Could it be that none of their past pastors had the love and guts to shepherd them? The pastor couldn’t get over his wounded pride in order to deal with the pride of his assailant?

I don’t have any data but I bet I’m close to the bullseye.

3. Be Biblical

This should go without saying, but sometimes what is crystal clear is missed.

When dealing with negative church people here are a few verses to remember and put into practice.

The aim of your leadership is love. . .

“The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (1 Tim. 1:5)

And love looks like. . .

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:4–7)

It’s easy to love those who love your sermons. It’s biblical love to love those who can’t stand the way you write your emails and let you know it.

And there will come a time when the controversial straw is breaking the Elder’s back. Titus 3 might be one of the ignored passages in the Bible.

“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (Titus 3:10–11)

Proverbs and the French call this person, Le Fool.

Shotgun’d Advice

Negative folks might need an heart adjustment from a loving pastor, others may not change and remain unrepentant. But you gotta go the distance here. Matthew 18 still applies. Titus 3 needs a hearing in the ears of the heart. How many ramped up negative Neil’s and Nancy’s have heard Titus 3:10-11 from the heart of a true shepherd? I bet E.T. could count it on one hand.

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J.A. Medders is the Lead Pastor of Redeemer Church in Tomball, TX. He is pursuing his M.Div at Southern Seminary. He and Natalie have one precious little girl, Ivy. Jeff digs caffeinated drinks, books, and the Triune God. He blogs at www.jamedders.com and tweets from @mrmedders.

How to Offer and Receive Criticism

Richard Sibbes once said that  “men love not to be judged and censured.” Personally, I have yet to meet the person who enjoys criticism. Whether it's criticism about your work, life, faith or criticism from an unknown critic online or a loving family member. All criticism is hard to swallow.

My mom and I have a great relationship. I look back at my formative years and she provided a foundation for the love of God that hasn’t left me. I recall the words of Paul to Timothy, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you” (2 Tim. 1:5).

However, I wish I was wiser when hearing her criticism. Her words of encouragement and admonition were coming from a heart of love. Because of my own struggles with hearing criticism, I would often refuse to heed her concerns, only accepting the truth of her words after I'd made a mess of the situation. Hearing criticism is and has been one of the hardest lessons learned in my life, especially if I’ve received criticism from those whose motives were not in my best interest.

But the gospel should transform the way we give and receive criticism. In today's, age social networks and blogs have only made it easier to criticize without accountability or real community. It’s much easier to make that snarky comment about someone when you don’t have to look them in the face to do so.

So, how do we take a gospel-centered approach toward criticism?

The Gospel and Criticism

The gospel transforms the way we receive criticism in four ways. First, it tells us we are created in the image of God. We have value because we are his handiwork, “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14). What we do has value because we imitate his creativity in creation. None of us is left without a touch of this creativity.

Second, the gospel tells us we are sinful. Charles Spurgeon once said, “If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be.” Often criticism stings because there may be a teaspoon of truth within the cup of criticism (or maybe a cup of truth within the teaspoon). We know we are sinful. But we almost always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt as we speak, act, and write. It’s hard to hear the perspective of someone who may not give us this benefit of the doubt.

Third, the gospel tells us are adopted by God. We have been declared righteous and joined his family and are now being transformed into the image of the Son of God. We are now much more than the sum total of our sins. Criticism can't touch that.

Finally, the gospel tells us that we will be vindicated on the last day. George Whitefield once said, “I am content to wait till the judgement day for the clearing up of my reputation.” We should learn to be content now with the righteousness of Christ waiting for our final vindication. For some of us, that might mean allowing our reputation to be tarnished for now.

Scripture actually has much to say about criticism. The following practical suggestions for receiving and giving criticism will hopefully help you build upon these truths.

Receiving Criticism

1. Hear the criticism.

The writer of Proverbs admonishes us, “Whoever heeds instructions is on the path of life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray” (Prov. 10:17), “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is foolish” (12:1), and “Whoever heeds reproof is prudent” (15:5). These Scriptures only touch the surface. Read through Proverbs for yourself and study what the Solomon teaches about receiving reproof. When criticism is offered, you should hear it, consider it, pray about it, and seek counsel about it. You should also be willing to sift through the criticism for the grain of truth. I have rarely found a criticism where there may not a single grain.

2. Rejoice in the criticism.

Jesus starts one of the greatest sermons ever preached, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matt. 5:11-12).

In this sermon, Jesus addresses criticism that ends up being slanderous lies. Yet he says we are blessed and we should rejoice. How can this be? We are baptized into the body of Christ. We are participants in his life, death, and resurrection. Jesus was persecuted, lied about, and slandered. And the writer of Hebrews says, “[Jesus] who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1). This passage connects our joy, suffering, and final vindication by God. Jesus sits at the right hand of God vindicated against the criticism that he made himself to be God (Matt. 26:62-68). We too will stand before God vindicated one day.

3. Compare the criticism with Scripture.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17). The truest criticism we will receive comes from Scripture. It speaks honestly about the condition of fallen humanity. Bring the criticism you receive to Scripture and ask the Spirit to uncover truth that might relate to it. Don’t miss the full story of the gospel.

4. Don’t respond with umbrage.

The worst thing you can do is respond quickly with your own criticism or accusation. But also don’t let a “root of bitterness” (Heb. 12:15) take hold in your heart. Resentment will impact you most and the others you love. This last point is especially true when the person clearly doesn’t have your best interest in mind and the bulk of their criticism is slander. It’s easy to set the record straight about that person, but in my experience that is either almost completely useless because it’s peppered with anger or slander in its own right.

Offering Criticism

1. Be wary of making accusations against brothers in Christ. 

All those who profess Christ are one with Christ. We have been baptized into one body and Spirit (Eph. 4). Christ isn’t divided. We should be very careful when criticizing that we aren’t accusing another Man’s servant (Rom. 14). That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take part in polemics, dialogues, debates, and defending the faith. Helpful criticism takes wisdom rooted in Scripture and a robust understanding of how the gospel changes everything.

2. Be prayerful about your criticism.

Before you ever utter the criticism pray about it. Ask God for wisdom in using the right words and also that it would be received from a heart of love. Express your dependance on God in sharing this concern with the person. Examine your heart in giving the criticism. If you cannot offer the criticism in good faith (Rom. 14:23) then don’t.

3. Seek peace and mutual upbuilding.

Paul says, “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (Rom. 14:19). I see two connections to the gospel story when see the word “peace.” First, peace connects with the Old Testament concept of shalom. It’s a state of rest for all of life. In the Old Testament, the shadow was the promised land and in the New Testament the fulfillment is the rest we have in Christ. Also, peace is often connected with the blood of Christ and our justification. All of the conflict, rebellion, and sin found in the story of humanity and Israel is resolved when God makes a covenant of peace with Christ (Eph. 2:13-16, 6:14-15; Rom. 5:1-2, and Col, 1:19-20) declaring all those in him as justified and now “fellow heirs with Christ” (Rom. 8:16-17, also see Luke 2:8-14). The purpose should be to build the hearer up; it shouldn’t tear him down. There’s correlation with Jesus’s instructions for church discipline, the goal of which is restoration.

4. Watch your own life and doctrine.

Paul admonishes the Galatians, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgressions, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 5:1-2). These instructions are meant to encourage patience, gentleness, and humility. A professor in college who taught counseling would frequently say, “Admonish others as you might expect them to admonish you later.” The idea was “today it’s me admonishing you; tomorrow it may be you admonishing me.” Paul also makes an important point about “bear[ing] one another’s burdens.” Step in their shoes and understand their struggles. Don’t be merciless to those who doubt (Jude 1:22). God doesn’t bruise the reed and neither should we. Fan the flame of God’s grace in their life.

5. Stop continually criticizing.

Paul commands Titus, “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him” (Tit. 3:10). The original context was the local church but there’s good application for our personal relationships and online interactions. Depending on the severity of the issue, you may just need to stop criticizing and “have nothing more to do with him.” I cannot tell you how tiring it is hearing the same criticism over and over again by the same people about the same person. It takes wisdom to understand at what point you are casting your pearls before the swine (Matt. 7:6).

It’s important to search Scripture when understanding how to receive and give criticism. The Internet has made it easy to register our criticisms and provides a platform for those with grudges. These interactions are front and center for the world to see. We must learn to interact in a way which glorifies God. “Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters to pertaining to this life!” (1 Cor. 6:3).

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Mathew B. Sims is the Editor-in-Chief at Exercise.com and has authored, edited, and contributed to several books including A Household Gospel, We Believe: Creeds, Confessions, & Catechisms for Worship, A Guide for Advent, Make, Mature, Multiply, and A Guide for Holy Week. Mathew, LeAnn (his wife), and his daughters Claire, Maddy, and Adele live in Taylors, SC at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains with their Airdale Terrier. They attend Downtown Presbyterian Church (PCA). Visit MathewBryanSims.com!

7 Ways to Keep Your Missional Community from Multiplying

A missional community (MC) can be defined as a family of missionary servants who are sent to make disciples who make disciples. When trying to understand what a MC is, it may be best described as people living as a family. So, when one has a question about the function of a MC, most of the time the answer is found by asking, “How would a healthy family answer that question?” One of the major differences found in MCs vs. traditional small groups is this idea of multiplication, which is built in the very story of God from the beginning in the very first family. In the Garden of Eden, we see that as image-bearers of God we were made to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:22, 26-28). By issuing his first “great commission,” God did not merely intend for us to have more people over for Thanksgiving dinner. Rather, he wanted his beautiful image to fill the entire earth through the multiplication of his image-bearers. But through Adam, we sinned and were separated from God.

In the attempt to author our own story, we sought center stage–pushing God’s goals for aside for our own desires. We sought to multiply our image for the sake of our own fame rather than God’s fame.

When someone repents and turns to God, it is our responsibility to show them their new mission by pointing back to the garden. We must show how their mission is all about multiplying for the sake of God’s glory, not multiplying a life that is all about them and their legacy.

Many small groups in churches believe their goal is to get to know each other or form a close bond. This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if this is the main goal, multiplication will never be desired. Drawing close to one another is not the primary goal of a MC; rather, making disciples who make disciples is the lifeblood of MC life. Disciples are fruitful and multiply disciples of Jesus. Drawing close to one another happens because Jesus has given us the same Father, and we are a part of the same family. So, forming a close bond is a bi-product rather than the primary goal of living together on mission as family.

If we take this idea of multiplication to how we see a healthy family, you can think of it in this way: A healthy family doesn’t stay a close family unit forever, living in the same house with no expectations of the child leaving the house. We train them up, we teach them, and we disciple them so that when they reach a certain age they are then sent out to start their own life, their own family.

Stunting Multiplication

In my years of planting and leading MCs, I’ve found that MCs struggle to multiply, or sometimes they don’t want to multiply at all. Sometimes they aren’t trained properly and don’t know any better, and sometimes they would rather stay the same group of people year after year without adding anyone new. There are various other reasons why they may not multiply, but after talking with leaders, it’s not long before I can understand why they aren’t multiplying. In this article, we will look at some of the most popular mistakes I’ve seen that keep MCs stagnant.

Before we continue, please know this: I am not forgetting the work of the Spirit or the plans of God. Let’s be honest, God has used a burning bush and a talking donkey, so if he wants something to happen, he’ll make it so. Instead, I am writing this purely from a planning and strategic understanding of leading MCs. No one will multiply without God’s Spirit empowering and leading that multiplication, but multiplication also takes hard work and intentional direction.

Here are some ways to ensure that your MC never multiplies. If you follow these simple steps, you’ll ensure yourself a long life of hanging out with the same people, studying the same things, and never having to actually live them out or teach them to others.

1. Never ask anyone to step up and lead

One of the best ways to ensure that you don’t multiply is to assume the role of end-all leader for your group. Make sure the buck always stops with you. The last thing you want to do is to try and empower anyone for leadership. They should never think that they could actually lead a community on mission someday. So, when you go to trainings, when you are thinking through the next steps for the MC, when you are living your life of discipleship during the week, never invite anyone from the group into your life. Who knows? They might learn from you, apply it on their own life, and get the idea that they could lead too.

2. Don’t have a unified context for mission

The mission is to make disciples, just make sure that your MC doesn’t have a unified context of who you are trying to reach. Stay scattered. Have people do their own thing, then just come back and talk about how things are going. The last thing you want to see is everyone being unified for the sake of mission, because that will only lead to a ton of gospel conversations, tons of idols being exposed in each other’s lives, and the church looking like a body to the outside world. The more unified you are in mission the more people that would attract, and that only leads to one thing: multiplication. Imagine if the world saw a group of people who gave up time, money, and comfort for the sake of a unified goal!

3. Do not have a written vision and plan to make disciples

Keep this all organic. No planning. You don’t want this to look like an organization, or even worse, organized religion. I mean, isn’t that how the Apostle Paul did things? He just got up, went out, and hoped for the best. If you have a written vision or plan, then there are expectations. Where there are expectations, people might feel like they need to get involved. If there is a plan, you have to actually think through your mission and hold each other accountable. If there is a plan, you can see the steps it’s going to take to make disciples in a particular area. Not only this, but these plans give you specifics of how to pray to the Spirit on how he can accomplish this plan or open your eyes to the plan that he desires. Too much planning actually leads to too much dependence on the Spirit, and you wouldn’t want to be one of “those churches.”

4. Don’t interact with unbelievers

Make sure you focus only on the “one anothers” in the New Testament. What does it matter if Jesus taught his disciples how to disciple in the midst of unbelievers? If you interact with unbelievers they get in the way. Unbelievers don’t always believe what you believe, and you want people around you who believe like you so that everyone gets along smoothly. If you interact with unbelievers, they might revile you or hate you. What happens if an unbeliever actually watches your life and sees who the real Jesus is? What if they decide to follow him, too? That messes up your group dynamic that has been together for the last few years. Instead, just take care of each other and pray like crazy that Jesus returns as fast as possible.

5. Keep it an event instead of a rhythm

If you can keep our MC looking like an event each week, then that will make sure that people see it as merely another type of small group. That way, you can just get together, have dinner, study the Bible, and then see each other again in another week. You don’t need to advance the mission; they can just keep coming to your group instead. Plus, if you keep it an event, less people desire to have another meeting in their life or in their home. They will feel overwhelmed to plan everything around this event, and it will add stress to their lives. If you add stress to someone’s life, you definitely will not get all those busy people desiring to multiply the group. Rhythms bring forth the idea of freedom and rest and fun, the idea that it’s part of life rather than a meeting. This is a tempting idea that you don’t want to convey to outsiders.

6. Teach at the meetings like a professional

One of the best ways to ensure that you don’t multiply is to make sure you train and teach those in your MC in a way where they’ll say, “I could never do that.” So, write up your own Bible studies with quizzes, teach from the Greek Bible, and wow everyone with your expansive knowledge that rivals the Apostle Paul. The more you are able to do things in your MC that cannot be transferrable, the better. That way, everyone will know that there is no way they can emulate what their leader is doing. If they can’t emulate, how will anyone multiply? Bingo. Never use material that someone could wrap their minds around or easily teach to others. Always reinvent the wheel and make sure your community understands that if they want to lead an MC, they must get more training than an astronaut.

7. Don’t talk about multiplication or the Spirit

One of the easiest ways to create an atmosphere of never multiplying is by simply never talking about it. Make sure people don’t expect it. Healthy things multiply, and you don’t want to give off that vibe. Talk about how great it is to have the same people in the MC for so long, and remind them that outsiders would mess up the chemistry. Who cares if you haven’t impacted other people’s lives, you’ve impacted the group and that should be enough! The person who is primarily responsible for multiplication is the Spirit, so make sure that he is left completely out of the conversation. Don’t talk about him. He’s dangerous. He has a ton of power and has done things you should only read about in Acts and not experience in your own life.

Disclaimer: Please know that this is purely fun and sarcastic. This is not meant to hurt anyone or to mock anyone. My real hope is that you’ll see some things you can change or start working towards so that you can multiply your MCs for the sake of making disciples of Jesus.

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Seth McBee is the adopted son of God, husband of one wife, and father of three. He’s a graduate of Seattle Pacific University with a finance degree. By trade Seth is an Investment Portfolio Manager, serving as president of McBee Advisors, Inc. as well as a MC leader/trainer/coach and executive team member of the GCM Collective. Currently Seth lives in Phoenix, AZ with his wife Stacy and their 3 children, Caleb, Coleman and Madelynn. Twitter: @sdmcbee.

Stereotypes prevent lasting Community

In 2004, Pixar introduced The Incredibles, a family of superheroes posing as a “normal” suburban family. After a series of unfortunate incidents followed by equally unfortunate lawsuits, superheroes are forced into “the Superhero Relocation Program,” in which they are forced to pose as normal citizens in order to evade any further legal action. Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl become Bob and Helen Parr, insurance agent and stay-at-home Mom, complete with three children. As a result of their hidden superpowers, Bob and Helen’s children are caught in a net of confusion. They know they are different but every voice they hear seems to say, "different is not good." Things come to a head when at dinner one night when their daughter, Violet, complains to her Mom, Helen: “We act normal, Mom! I want to be normal!” Their son, Dash, wrestles with similar issues. After being told he can’t try out for the track team because he’s too fast, Dash says: “But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers make us special.” His Mom responds by telling him that “everyone’s special, Dash,” to which he retorts: “Which is another way of saying no one is.”

Though born different (with super powers), society no longer values their differences. Instead, they want the “supers,” as they’re known, to simply blend in and be like everyone else. Soon, Syndrome, a super villain, emerges wreaking havoc and giving the Supers no choice but to come out of retirement and use their powers to save the very people who want them to just be normal. They’re not normal. It’s only when they’re are able to truly be themselves that they  can rise to their full potential and fight the evil that threatens their world.

The movie raises interesting questions about perception versus identity. When urging the children to use their special powers, Helen gives them masks, saying: “Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it.” At a climactic moment, Syndrome reveals plans to sell super weapons to everyone, noting that, “When everyone’s super, no one will be.” When we all fit the expectations, there’s nothing left to differentiate us.

Christian stereotypes prevent real, lasting, effective Christian community.

Sadly, this is exactly what much of what passes for Christian community does. We forget that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made. We expect everyone to look and act the same. Our community is weakened because we try to smooth out people’s rough edges. We forget that our community is strongest when we encourage individuality, not at the expense of, but for the sake of community. Christians, of all people, should get this.

Near the middle of my time in seminary, John Piper preached in chapel. I don’t remember most of the sermon, but I do remember that, at one point, he took an aside, mentioning that he was preaching to a room full of men who were training to do the same. He noted that when we graduated, most of us would try to emulate our favorite preachers, but we wouldn’t be any good at it. Instead, he offered, "we should strive to become sanctified versions of ourselves rather than watered-down versions of someone else.” That phrase has haunted me, in a good way, like no other during my subsequent years of following Jesus.

I have spent a good deal of my life in “ministry” being compared to and contrasted to celebrities and stereotypes. Everyone has their idea of what a pastor should be. Everyone has an idea of who their pastor should be. But it goes deeper. Everyone has their own idea of what a Christian should be. And when everyone has their own idea of what a Christian should look like, we race towards the middle: the blandest version possible (so as to not offend anyone, of course). The very people who should be the most distinct, expressing the most individuality for the sake of community, end up being watered down versions of a stereotyped celebrity that doesn’t even exist: An idealized Christian who no one really likes and no one can actually be but everyone seems to think is the standard.

American Christians have produced some of the most anemic community known to man. We have perpetuated closed-off, private, judgmental, and stereotypical environments where everyone feels an unspoken (or sometimes spoken) expectation that everyone should look and act the same. The result, of course is that what passes for community in many churches is nothing of the sort. People are afraid to let their idiosyncrasies show and many are afraid to be honest about their shortcomings and struggles because all the other Christians have it together (even though, of course, they really don’t).

Who We Really Are

Christians ought to be the most comfortable with who they are and the most welcoming and celebratory of uniqueness. We know we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God himself (Psalm 139:14). Though we were by nature children of wrath (Ephesians 2:3) and enemies of God (Romans 5:10), he has adopted us into his family (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5, etc.). We, who were once far from God, have been brought near to him (Ephesians 2:13). We have become his children, his heirs (Romans 8:17, Galatians 3:29, etc.).  What is true of the Savior is becoming true of his people. He stands on our behalf even now interceding with his righteousness (Romans 8:34). The Holy Spirit who raised Christ from the dead dwells in us (Romans 8:11)!

There is a direct correlation between individuality and community. Community is strongest when people are most encouraged to explore their individuality; to just be themselves and walk in honesty. If we are free of needing people’s approval, we are free to serve sacrificially.

Why doesn’t this happen?

Why do we allow stereotypes to typecast us into a blandardized versions of likable but not real characters? Everyone knows the answer but no one likes it. We judge each other and hogtie real community because, deep down, we believe that it matters how you look before others and before God because that’s how he loves us more! So, I become tied to your approval of a fake version of myself which means that I can never actually give myself up to truly serve you because I’ve created a weird co-dependency thing that you may or may not be aware of.

In short, we choose to believe lies. Jesus told us that the “Truth will set us free” (John 8:32). If Truth sets us free, then it would seem that lies hold us captive. Deep down, we don’t believe that God’s acceptance of us is enough. We may not even be sure if it’s sincere. So we are never free to truly be ourselves because it’s always tied to a search for acceptance. But what if this is not the way God meant it to be?

How Does God See You?

If you were to picture God looking down on you and your life, how do you picture his facial expression? What do you think he might say over your life? Would he say: "Dangit, I’ve given Brent so many chances, why can’t he just get it together? Or, Oh man, I’ve just had it with Brent’s failures! This has gotten ridiculous!"

What do you really think he would say of you and your life?

Do you remember when Jesus went out to his crazy cousin John to be baptized in the Jordan? Mark 1:10-11 tells us that when Jesus came up out of the water, the Spirit descended upon him in the form of a dove and a voice came from heaven saying, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” What might change in our communities if individuals believed that what the Father says of the Son, he says about us? That, because Jesus stands on our behalf, the Father loves us, he is pleased with us, and we do not have to work for his approval or anyone else’s.

I wonder why our first thought is so rarely that God is pleased with us for who we are and not what we do? I have seven sons and one daughter (four biological sons, three foster sons and a foster daughter) and I love them each for who they are.  They are each very different from each other. It would be foolish of me to expect them all to have the same interests, play the same sports, read the same books, listen to the same music, etc. It would be even more foolish if I based my acceptance of them on how well they all tried to act the same. And yet that’s exactly what we often do to one another.

The Fruit of Disbelief

We don’t believe that God truly loves us for who we are so we don’t believe that anyone else will love us for who we are. We pretend and there’s no real community because no one is really themselves because everyone has adopted a false caricature of what what we should all look like. Since our relationships are bound up in seeking approval, we never have the freedom to truly serve one another.

But the Truth sets us free. What if I no longer need your approval because I have God’s approval through Jesus? Now, I am free to be myself which enables me to serve you sacrificially because I no longer need your approval. It doesn’t matter what you think of me. I can and will find ways to show you God’s love. Because I can, not because I should.

When Jesus sets us free to truly be ourselves, community flourishes. And as community flourishes, I am even more comfortable showing you just how screwed up I am. And community flourishes as we accept one another as a “beautiful circus of crazies and freaks” to quote my friend Aaron Spiro. But we won’t ever have real community until we accept one another for who we are because we’ve accepted ourselves for who God has made us to be. And only the Gospel can do that.

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Brent Thomas (MDiv) and his wife Kristi live in Glendale, AZ with four biological sons and one foster child. Brent pastored in KY and TX before moving back to AZ to plant Church of the Cross which exists to make, mature, and multiply disciples through gospel, community, and mission. He sometimes writes at Holiday At The Sea and hosts house shows with The Habañero Collective.

Other Articles by Brent:

• Creating Culture in Your Living Room
• The Un-American Church

6 Lessons from Everyday Discipleship

As lead pastor of Grace Covenant Church, I equip disciple-makers every week through preaching the gospel from the front (we call this our air-war). As a Christian, I make disciples in the every day through leading a gospel community from my home (we call this our ground war). Though known for being mildly thick in the head, if you give me enough clues I’ll eventually get it, with some help. One of the things I’m currently learning is the more involved I am in the ground-war work, the more affective I am in my air-war work. The ground war is hard, slow, messy, up-close, and personal. Daily being involved in the the ground war prevents my weekly air-war delivery from becoming cold, distant, impersonal, un-attached, and reckless. In other words, my involvement with both makes me more effective in both. Here are six lessons I’m learning as I lead my family to live in community with other people while making disciples of believers and unbelievers in the every day of life.

1. LEARN TO FACILITATE A SINGLE CONVERSATION

You're not there to teach them everything you know, you’re there to facilitate the Holy Spirit guiding them into self-discovery. Be intentional...don’t let 5 conversations go at once where everyone is talking over everyone else and no one’s listening to anyone. Instead, learn to facilitate a single discussion, where people are listened to, loved, shown interest in, and asked questions of. You’ll be blown away at what will happen.

2. MISSION IS MESSY, SO DON'T AVOID IT, MOVE INTO IT

If you’re not discouraged, overwhelmed, tired, hopeless, frustrated...you’re probably not making disciples. You’re just not. You might be attending a nice Bible study where people come, share polite observations and leave, but you’re not in anyone’s life. You’re not under the hood. You're not past the facade. So you’re simply not making disciples (although you may be disciplining people to hide their stuff and perform for other people’s approval?) Gospel discipleship is messy. Everything gets exposed. No on gets to hide. So remember, when the crap hits the fan, don’t dread it, embrace it. Thank Jesus for it. It’s prime opportunity for discipleship. Don’t see sin as defeat, see it as an act of grace through which the Spirit is exposing unbelief so we can all learn, grow, repent, and turn again to Jesus.

3. LEARN TO TRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT

Making disciples is an exercise in learning to trust the Holy Spirit, not be the Holy Spirit. You don’t have to trust the Holy Spirit listening to me preach a sermon. But when you’re out trying to make disciples, strap on. The water level rises quickly as your unbelief, lack of skill, and ungodly character get exposed for the world to see. Worse, you realize you can’t change anyone at the heart level. You just can’t. You might be able to strong-arm people to change a few external habits through the application of enough guilt and calls for more will power, but we all know how long that kind of change will last. So it’s discouraging and humbling all at the same time. And then it becomes freeing when you realize the pressure’s off. You can’t do it! Now you get to act like you believe that by trusting the only One who can to do the heavy lifting. Phew! What a relief. Unless Jesus shows up, this will be a waste of time. Guess what? Now you’re in a place of utter dependance upon the Spirit of God working through the power of the gospel. That is a good place to be when making disciples. It doesn’t remove any of the weight or urgency, it just removes the pressure. He is the one who can correct, teach, rebuke and encourage. You just have to listen to the Spirit and ask the right questions.

4. LEARN TO PERSEVERE

What I really mean when I say that is: show up. Just flat-out, every time, rain or shine, feel like it or not, show up. I say that because most people don't. Lots of leaders start strong with lots of enthusiasm, but in the long run bring little sticking power. And you just won't make disciples if you don't stay after it. Let me explain. Wednesday is the hardest day of the week for me. Every week. No exceptions. It’s also when our gospel community gathers for our “structured” time of learning (we share a meal and then dive in). Coincidence? I don't think so. There hasn’t been a Wednesday I haven’t been tempted to cancel. Long day, stuff at work, kids get sick, you name it. Wednesday is official crap-interface-fan day, because the enemy wants me to quite, to cancel, to make up excuses, to go home and veg. Maybe even hit the sack early for a change? Anything but open my home and invest in other people's lives.

My selfishness, neediness, idols and unbelief all come boiling to the surface about 4:30 every Wednesday afternoon. And it's what happens in that moment that determines whether or not I'm going to be a person who makes disciples for the long run. No wonder Paul said he beats his body (I Cor. 9:27). This is flat out work, and my flesh often rebels and just wants to take a break. So I have to repent of my dependance upon myself, of my desire to avoid discomfort, and push ahead.

By 10:00 that night I’m standing in my kitchen, amazed, saying “Dear Jesus, thank you for saving me from myself. Again.”

Because there just aren’t any “average” nights when Jesus is at work. Every night something significant changes for someone. A penny drops. A connection gets made for an unbeliever. A new believers shares a fresh insight into God’s grace that rocks all of us. An old believer get convicted in a new way. Questions get asked, wrestling takes place, sin gets confessed, grace gets applied, tears get shed, laughter c and my ripples through the house, and my heart is once again full. And I almost missed it to indulge my selfishness! And often times the best moments come from where I least expected, from those I don’t even think were listening or paying attention. So the simple lesson is this: don’t trust in how you “feel”, trust that the Holy Spirit that is working and just wants you to be obedient. So show up. And watch Him do his thing.

5. LEARN TO MAKE A PLAN, BE FLEXIBLE, EMBRACE THE UNEXPECTED

One night my entire GC canceled between 4 and 5:30. I came out of a meeting and had 5 texts, all with differing reasons why they couldn't make it (all legitimate by the way, no complaining here). Great, I thought to myself. A young gal who was a new believer in our group was bringing her unbelieving boyfriend over for the first time, and I was frustrated. This was supposed to be the night we would show him our "family" identity! We had talked about it, planned it, prepared for it. And now everyone had bailed and he’d show up and it’d just be me? Some family. Totally lame. When he showed up I did the only thing I could think of. I asked him if he wanted to help me do the dishes while Sharon put the kids to bed. We cleaned the kitchen for an hour, and in the process I got to hear his story. The night I had pegged for a total wash (no pun intended) turned into the ice-breaking relational-building event that motivated him to come back again the next week.

See what happened? I know, it seems small. But small is big in disciple making. We'd made a plan, it fell apart, we flexed, and I spent an evening hanging with just him getting to know his story. For him, that night I went from “the pastor” to a real person who cared enough to ask questions and listen to his stuff. And none of this could have happened had things gone the way I’d planned.  Jesus knew what was needed. Make a plan, be flexible, and embrace the unexpected. (Oh, and by the way, we’ll be baptizing that young man this summer!)

6. LEARN TO PLAY THE LONG GAME

When you’re in community, and building relationships, and inviting people into your life, and really caring for them, it gives you freedom. You can have hard conversations, you can dig into to the real issues, and you don’t feel the weight of having to address every issue in a single conversation because you’re going to see that person the next day. You don’t have to hit a home run every time. You’re looking for base hits. And the accumulative affect of that will blow your mind. In one sense there’s urgency in our disciple-making; in another sense there’s patience, because I’m wanting to make a life-time disciple out of the men in my group, and I’m willing to stick it out.

It also means I don’t have to point out every little thing I see wrong with them. I love them, I walk with them, I ask lots of questions, I talk about the gospel, and before I know it...they’re confessing the sin that I saw a long time ago! But it’s not because I pointed it out and now they want to change in order to please me, it’s the Holy Spirit convicting them of their sin or unbelief and working in their heart true change.

So hear this...you don’t have to return the kick-off for a touchdown. 2 yards over the right tackle is progress. 4 yards up the middle is progress. Stack a few first downs together and after a series of plays, guess what, you’re staring at the end-zone. Disciple-making is not a series of hail-mary’s for touchdowns. It’s a series of well-planned and executed first-downs that regularly put you in the Red Zone for striking distance.

LAST WORD

Making disciples isn’t a recipe. Neither is this article. These are ideas. These are components of a healthy group. These are disciple-making tools. Don't look for a recipe. If it doesn't work, change it. Make an adjustment. Make it your own. Just like a baseball swing...there are some mechanics that are a must. Every good hitter has them. But many of their swings look different. The fundamental mechanics are buried under their personal adaption of the basics. So make these your own, get on the field, try stuff out, scrap it when it doesn't work, tweak it when you get stuck, and make adjustments as you go. And above all, keep swinging!

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Josh McPherson serves as lead pastor of Grace Covenant Church in Wenatchee WA, a church he helped plant in 2008. He is a member of Acts 29 and graduated from the Resurgence Training Center in 2010. He also holds an undergraduate degree in biblical studies and is currently finishing his graduate degree from Western Seminary. He and his wife Sharon have four children: Ella Mae, Levi Gregory, Amelia Claire, and Gideon Joshua. Twitter: @JoshMcPherson79

Related Articles:

• Our Hunger for Community by Brad Watson
• Radical Individualism and the Church as Family by Joe Hellerman
• Meet Jill and Cliff (& The Holy Spirit) by Josh Cousineau

Our Hunger for Community

Broken families, broken relationships, and an epidemic of loneliness has created a ravenous hunger for community in this generation. But our flesh can seek our idea of community more than we seek Jesus. Our souls, it seems, are ready to settle for a sit-com style of friendship instead of striving for the spirit-led family of God purchased and created by his son’s death and resurrection.

Idealized Community

Dietrich Bonhoeffer describes, in his book  Life Together, the difference between spiritual community, true biblical unity, and emotional community.  He identifies the common sin of loving the idea of community that we have invented in our minds more than we really love the community.

Those who want more than what Christ has established between us do not want Christian community. They are looking for some extraordinary experiences of community that were denied them elsewhere...Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial…Christian community is not an ideal we have to realize, but rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate.

6 Misunderstandings about Community

Our desire and attempts at filling our need for community has clouded our understanding of community itself. As I help folks start and form gospel-centered communities in Portland I have come to notice a consistent stream of misconceptions and false expectations. Though we desire it, we have forgotten what it means to be the people of God in daily life. Here are the top six misconceptions I have encountered as we have started communities throughout inner Portland.

1. Community Is Not “Everyone is my best friend”

If you have one intimate friend (usually a spouse) you are blessed.  Many people come into a church or small group with the expectation that everyone will be their best friend.  Those unrealistic expectations are selfish and harmful to community.  Come into community with one goal – to serve.

2. Community is Not A spiritual/morality club 

You don’t pay membership dues to get into community. Jesus has already done that. It isn’t a group of generally moral people trying to do good for others. No, community is a made of people who were dead in their sin, but who God raised to new life with Christ. The good we do is with humility and an understanding of grace.

3. Community is Not A Book Club

The scriptures are vital to Christian community. We devour the words of God and look to understand the character and actions of God in the Bible. But Christian community cannot be reduced to simply a reading and understanding of the Bible. Christian community practices and obeys the scriptures. That happens in real life and in real time.

4. Community is Not A meeting or Event.

You might find community present in a meeting or an organization but those things can never create it. Vibrant community happens when people invest in one another outside of formal gatherings. It is not a time, building, or place, it is a people, family, and movement. Don’t settle for a two hour meeting in a living room as “community.” Allow that meeting to spill over into daily life. Share meals, call one another, bless each other, and try to make disciples.

5. Community is Not Easy

In Matthew 10, as Jesus sent his disciples out to do his works he didn’t say: “Now be nice to each other and you’ll see the sick healed and demons flee and hearts transformed.”  He said “Don’t go alone; be careful!  I’m sending you out like sheep among wolves, expect to be imprisoned, expect persecution, expect to stand before politicians and princes, expect to be rejected by brothers and fathers, expect strife, but stand firm to the end because my Father will give you everything you need!” (personal paraphrase).  Paul, Peter, and James all say we should expect it to be hard. Paul tells us that we will be tempted to blame each other but to remember, you’re fighting sin not each other (Eph 6).

If we want unity it won’t feel like unity most of the time. Often we will feel like we’re barely hanging on to each other. Real unity, real community comes at a great price. We surrender our ‘rights’ for the sake of Christ and one another. We come together on a journey of dying to ourselves and living to Christ, and that is hard. Furthermore real community requires forgiveness, and reconciliation in a society that prefers to quit and ditch relationships as soon as we begin to hurt each other. In gospel-centered community, we rely on God’s grace, mercy, and love for us to confront the hurts and sin in each others’ lives. We forgive because God forgives. We reconcile because he made us agents of reconciliation. We love those in our community, because we are adopted brothers and sisters in Christ.

6. Community is not “Everyone gets along”

If you ask most Christians what unity is their first response has to do with everyone getting along and just “loving each other.”  But Jesus doesn’t root our unity in some feel-good idea of everyone getting along and being sweet to each other. Jesus roots our unity in himself, his Spirit and what God has done in all us. Our unity comes from our common rescuer and Lord.

The Bible assumes we’ll have lots of conflict, so the Scriptures constantly remind us about the basis of our unity and gives us practical tools like repentance and forgiveness, for walking it out. Paul didn’t sit around and ask the Holy Spirit: “what esoteric thing do you want me to write about today?” Instead, Paul wrote to churches to respond to the things they were going through and frequently wrote about practical ways for these churches to keep pursuing unity. Almost every one of Paul’s letter addresses some very specific thing that is trying to divide them.  Every one of Jesus’ messages to the churches in Revelation deals with something that is trying to divide them.

You show me a family that doesn’t fight and I’ll show you a family that is just coexisting or is under the rule of a tyrant. Healthy relationships are hard and there’s always conflict. We’re sinful, selfish human beings living in a sin-filled world. Our only hope in these conflicts is the gospel of grace.

Gospel-Centered Community

Gospel-centered communities are groups of people that love to include Jesus in everything they do. It never feels forced, but a meal with friends often drifts towards conversation about the person and life of Jesus. If community can be characterized by anything it will be characterized by who Jesus is and what he has done for us. His life, work, and character is woven into the language and practice of every authentic expression of community. The good news of Jesus is what makes the community, builds it, and motivates it.

7 Components of Gospel-Centered Community

There are many signs that a community is built on the foundation of the gospel. As we labored to start multiple communities in Portland, the healthy and thriving ones always have these characteristics and qualities. These are not seven easy steps or a how-to. In fact, the "how to" is to make the gospel central and to pray in dependance for God to do his work. These are the consistent elements I see expressed when communities are established in the gospel. They are also the seven elements that war against our own selfish desires for independence.

1. Generous Hospitality.

In Matthew 25 Jesus describes his spirit of hospitality.  “I was hungry and you gave me something to eat.”  Authentic community involves lots of food! It involves taking the time and space to incorporate others in your life. This is often found at the kitchen table and this is nothing new. In Luke's Gospel, Jesus was almost always on his way to a meal, coming from a meal, or at a meal. Authentic communities are regularly sharing meals with one another and those outside the community. Their generous hospitality is noticeable from the outside and others desire it.

2. A people where influence is earned by serving.

You know you have found gospel-centered community when you find selfless giving and constant blessing toward each other and those outside the church. Jesus told us the world will know us by our "love for one another." It’s true. When Jesus is the center, community is characterized by humble service to Jesus as Lord and King.

3. Accountable and Repentant

Community will bring everything into the light. By that I mean, we are honest with who we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. It means the community will not let us live a lie or false identity. The Scriptures, truth of the gospel, and the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin and unbelief in gracious and merciful ways. In repentance, communities return to the gospel and are reminded of their identity in Christ.

4. Led by qualified leaders.

Christian community has leadership. The leaders carry the tremendous weight of caring for the believers, and equipping the body for service and mission. You will know you are in the community when the leaders are the servants among the community who are training and releasing everyone else into the world. They will be characterized by humility, hospitality, faithfulness, self-control, prayer, and belief in the gospel.

5. On Mission

Any expression of gospel-centered community will be on mission seeking the good of their neighborhood, nation, and globe. Make no mistake about it, the mission is making disciples. Jesus-centered community proclaims the hope and truth of the gospel to the lost and broken. The presence of Jesus Christ is the most attractive thing to the human heart – and the presence of Jesus is found in its most potent form in a group of people that love him and love each other well. This is what Jesus said in John 13:35: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Community grows and multiplies. Gospel-centered communities send their best people out into new areas of mission and service. However, life is added to community not subtracted. It has been like this from the very beginning. The command was to spread and be witnesses of Jesus from “Jerusalem to Samaria to Judea to the ends of the earth.” And it did. In a world without twitter, youtube, satellites, or pamphlets churches sprung up in houses and temples in three continents in only a few years. Your Jesus-centered community has the same potential and calling.

6. Active in Culture

Christian community will be in the public square where goods and ideas are exchanged. Their activity will be defined by love, grace, and truth. They will have jobs, create art, and seek the good of their city through social justice. They will do these things not from a point of power and greed but from a point of service and empowerment by the Spirit.

7. Diverse

It will be made up of rich and poor, men and women, young and old, black and white, immigrant and native, married and single. You will welcome everyone and you won't be made up of "people like me" and "at my stage of life." Instead you embrace those who are different from you. There will be no way to describe you other than to say, “Christian Community.” Christianity is unlike any other religion, even in its inception it was completely diverse. Up to that point in history religion was connected to race, status, and origin. In fact, your outside differences will tell the story of God’s work to create you into a people.

Story of Community

I met Mark (name changed) at a poker game. It was a mishmash of people and he was obviously nervous to be around so many new folks. He was an introvert like me and we connected. He was going to law school and was the smartest guy in the room. The next time we hung out, he was eating dinner at my house. Our missional community was getting together for a meal and sharing stories of what God had done in our lives. He had just heard the gospel from the guy who hosted the poker game and he was beginning to make sense of the death and resurrection of Jesus. 

The next day we shoveled fertilizer together at the elementary school as part of a neighborhood wide clean-up project. He wanted to know how to pray to Jesus. Mark was part of our community and began spending lots of life with us. I got to baptize him a year ago. As we spend time together and grew in understanding of the gospel, he shared that he came to our city as a refugee, not as a student. He was running from home and the destructive life he had there.  As he read the parable of the prodigal son, he couldn’t help but identify with him. “I messed so much stuff up,” he would say. At the age of twelve, he gave his life to drugs. It truly stole his life. No friends, no community, and ultimately his family gave up on him. Yet, at 26, Mark was a new man in Jesus. His words to our church before he was baptized, “Before Christ I was headed no where, I didn’t have any friends and did a bunch of bad stuff. Now I have a community and a life to live.” Three months later, he took an internship at an Indian reservation in another state seven hours away. He took a stack of books and planned to finish reading the Bible (he read two thirds of it in his first months following Jesus). We prayed for him and talked as often as we could and were planning on having several of the guys in the community taking a weekend trip to hang out with him.

At 11:00 pm on the fourth of July, we got a phone call from Mark. He was in trouble and we left immediately. It was the longest seven hour drive of our lives as we tried to piece together the short and chaotic phone calls we had with Mark in the early hours of the morning. We couldn’t figure out if he was in real danger or hallucinating. There was a stretch of four hours when we heard nothing from him. As we pulled into the town we found him surrounded by three police cars in a diner parking lot. He had spent the night outside running from terrifying and accusative hallucinations. He was barefoot and his pajamas were torn to pieces. His hands and feet were scarred and bleeding. But he was alive and he recognized us. The police allowed us to take him into our care. We cleaned him up, packed his bags, cleaned up his apartment, and brought him home. The coming days and weeks were hard, but he had a community around him who gave him a place to stay, took him to the hospital, fed him, and spoke the truth of resurrection to him. We paid his debts for him and cared for his heart. Mark's words when he was baptized were true: “Before Christ I was headed no where, I didn’t have any friends and did a bunch of bad stuff. Now I have a community and a life to live.”

Love for the Church

If you are a leader, I pray you will be known for you love of the community of God and that you will excel at pointing to God's love for it. Don't allow cultural expectations and the idolatry of community to take your eyes of the gospel. Keep the gospel primary and never stray from it. Pursue community that is unashamedly centered on Jesus.

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Brad Watson serves as a pastor of Bread&Wine Communities in Portland, Oregon. He is serves as the director of GospelCenteredDiscipleship.com. Brad is the co-author of Raised? Doubting the Resurrection. His greatest passion is to encourage and equip leaders for the mission of making disciples. He is Mirela’s husband and Norah’s dad. Twitter: @BradsStories.

Other Articles by Brad:

• Be A Storyteller
• 5 Lies That Kill Obedience

Radical Individualism and the Church as Family

Mental health professionals are now recognizing a truth taught throughout the Scriptures—emotional healing and spiritual growth occur primarily in the context of interpersonal relationships. People who run away from uncomfortable or downright painful relationships almost invariably repeat the cycle of dysfunction with the next person or the next generation (or the next church) down the line. Those, on the other hand, who stay and courageously engage with others are the ones who grow in their self-understanding and in their abilities to relate to God and to their fellow human beings. Community is, in a word, redemptive. None of this is terribly novel. We all know it to be the case. Why, then, do we constantly sabotage our most intimate relationships, seek help from others only after the damage is irreversible, and continue to try to find our way through life as isolated individuals, convinced somehow that God will be with us to lead us and bless us wherever we go? Why are we increasingly unable to stay in relationship, stay in community, and grow in those interpersonal contexts which God has specifically provided for our eternal well-being?

Some might attribute the relational crises characterizing our churches solely to individual sin and selfishness. Sin and selfishness, however, have been around since Adam. Why the radical increase in relational breakdown in our society and in our churches today? Something bigger is in the works, and it has to do with the unique orientation of modern Western culture, especially contemporary American society. Ours is a culture which insists to its own destruction that the dreams, goals, and personal fulfillment of the individual deserve a higher priority than the well-being of any group (natural family or church body) or relationship (friendship or marriage) in an individual’s life.

The incessant failures of marriage after marriage, along with the repeated unwillingness of persons to stay in the local church in order to grow through relational conflict, are only superficially due to individual sin and selfishness. Our culture has powerfully socialized us to believe that our individual happiness and fulfillment must take precedence over our relationships with others in our families and in our churches. And it is precisely the influence that this radically individualist worldview exerts upon American evangelical Christians which best explains our struggle to keep relationships together in the body of Christ. The tune of radical individualism has been playing in our ears at full volume for decades. We are dancing to the music with gusto. And it is costing us dearly.

If you are in a position of church leadership, you likely share my frustration with the foolish and destructive choices our people make as they interact with others in the body of Christ. We teach and preach the truth, our people learn the truth, but so many of us, leaders and followers alike, make utterly selfish and wrongheaded choices in the most important area of our lives—our relationships with significant others.

I count myself fortunate to serve as a co-pastor in a vibrant Christian church, where we consistently emphasize the inviolable maxim that genuine spiritual growth occurs primarily in the context of community. We have in place an extensive support and accountability network to help our people grow in their abilities to relate to others in a healthy way at home and in the church. Our fellowship is average in size. Some two hundred adults, along with their children, attend on a given Sunday. But not a month goes by in which I am not summoned to intervene in some kind of interpersonal crisis at Oceanside Christian Fellowship. Sadly, much of the pastoral intervention we do has little lasting effect upon the health of the relationships involved. In spite of the counsel and support we offer, people typically insist on going it alone along their own individualistic, highly destructive pathways.

Radical Individualism and a Church in Crisis

American evangelicals have increasingly moved away from maintaining long-term commitments to their local churches. We have chosen, instead, to focus upon experiencing God at the individual level. We have become convinced, as George Barna recently observed, "that spiritual enlightenment comes from diligence in a discovery process, rather than commitment to a faith group and perspective" (The Second Coming of the Church).

As our theologians will wisely remind us, we cannot compromise biblical truth in one area without affecting other doctrines, as well. The various truths of the Bible are profoundly and perfectly intertwined. We should not be surprised, then, to discover that our attempts to exchange the New Testament’s community-centered approach to the Christian life for our culture’s individualistic view of spiritual formation have, in turn, subtly skewed our conception of God. God has now been recast in the role of a divine therapist who aids the individual Christian in his or her personal quest for spiritual enlightenment and self-discovery. And Jesus, in the final analysis, has become little more than a “personal savior.” So, if I am a product of my culture, I take my personal savior from church to church and from marriage to marriage, desperately hoping that I can somehow improve the quality of my life by escaping the immediate pain which often clouds the redemptive relationships that God has placed me in.

All of this, of course, blatantly betrays the central New Testament image of the church as a surrogate family of brothers and sisters. A person does not grow up by running from family to family. This is self-evident in our natural families, and we know it to be true of our church families, as well. Yet we offer few prophetic challenges to the subjective, individualistic distortion of biblical Christianity which holds much of the evangelical church in America in its grip. On the contrary, the orientation of many of our ministries actually encourages our people to view their walk with Christ in decidedly individualistic terms.

The one event preeminently identified with the word “church” in most congregations—the one by which the success of a local church is typically measured (the Sunday service)—finds our people seated side-by-side, facing forward, with little or no interpersonal interaction with persons to the right or to the left.  A fellow sitting next to me in Sunday church might have lost his job—or his spouse—that very week. Tragically, however, I would never know it.

We have discovered, moreover, that a most successful approach in evangelizing a whole generation of persons (baby boomers) who attend these large-group meetings is to communicate the gospel in such a way as to assure the seeker that the primary purpose for God’s power and presence in her life is to help her to achieve her relational and vocational goals, to relieve her stress, to give her joy and peace—all at the personal level. The result is that both the context (the Sunday setting) and the content (“God wants to meet my needs”) of church as we know it in American today often serve only to reinforce the individualistic orientation of the dominant culture.

Many small groups also foster the cult of individualism, since they tend to develop around felt needs. You attend to receive help with a particular problem or life stage. It is very easy for an attitude to develop that thinks in terms of "the group for me" rather than "me for the group." This is particularly so if the group is, or is perceived as, therapeutic in nature. When the group no longer meets your needs or expectations, you leave (The Church Comes Home).

My intention here is not to disparage small groups. I believe that the home-group movement offers a promising potential corrective to our individualistic worldview and, in turn, a promising potential encouragement to lasting, healthy relationships in the body of Christ. Small groups can provide the context in which to experience community as God intends it. But this small-group environment must be constructed on the bedrock of solid biblical ecclesiology.  The church today must once again become a family in the New Testament sense of the word.

When the Church was a Family

No image for the church occurs more often in the New Testament than the metaphor of family.  References abound to believers as siblings (“brothers” and “sisters”) and to God as the “Father” of his people. And no image offers as much promise as “family” for recapturing the relational integrity of first-century Christianity for our churches today. Kinship in Mediterranean antiquity was understood differently, however, than we conceive of family today, and it is important for us to be aware of these differences in order to properly appreciate what the New Testament writers had in mind when they pictured the church as a surrogate family. In the balance of the article I will touch upon what I consider to be the two most significant differences between family then and now, drawing application where appropriate to the New Testament idea of the church as a surrogate family of brothers and sisters in Christ.

Sibling Solidarity:  I Am My Brother’s Keeper

Perhaps the most counterintuitive (to us) aspect of Mediterranean kinship has to do with the family relationship that ancient people valued the most.  In our social world, a person’s spouse ideally functions as (a) her central locus of relational loyalty and (b) her main source of emotional and material support.  Correspondingly, most Americans expect their closest relational bond to be the bond of marriage, and we build our families around that marriage relationship.  What is so familiar to us, however, was not true of ancient society, where family was built not around marriage but was, instead, based on blood.

In the New Testament world, a person viewed as family those persons with whom he shared a common patriline—a bloodline traced from generation to generation solely through the male line.  Due to the patrilineal nature of the Mediterranean family, only a father could pass family membership down to the next generation.  A mother could not. A male therefore regarded as immediate family (a) his father (from whom he had received his blood), (b) his brothers and sisters (with whom he shared  his blood), and (c) offspring of both genders (to whom he passed on his blood).

The Bible also bears witness to this enduring cultural value. Jesus, for example, places the act of leaving one’s siblings at the forefront of the relational sacrifices made by some of his followers:

Peter said to him, “We have left everything to follow you!”  “I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no-one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life” (Mark 10:28-30).

The same priority is reflected somewhat differently in a passage from Matthew. In Matthew 10:21, Jesus lists the inevitable relational chaos that will result from his call to radical discipleship.  Since the most important relationship in Jesus' world is the bond between blood brothers, it only follows that discord between siblings constitutes the worst family tragedy imaginable.  This is precisely what we find at the beginning of Jesus’ list:  “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”  It might help to recall, at this point, the numerous Old Testament narratives that describe various incidents of brother betrayal (Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, and so on).  Such stories captured the imagination of their readers precisely because ancient persons felt so strongly about the need for harmony among siblings.

From Theory to Practice:  Brotherly Love in Action

Sibling solidarity, as the ancients understood it (and as the early Christians envisioned it and often practiced it in their churches), included a whole complex of associated expectations and responsibilities. Siblings shared material resources with one another, and a person’s brothers and sisters provided the first line of defense against the ever-present threat of economic hardship (Acts 2:43-47; 1 John 3:17). To fail to share in times of need was to betray a brother after the analogy of Cain (1 John 3:10-17). Brothers and sisters also challenged one another to take responsibility for actions which were inappropriate among persons who viewed themselves as family (Matthew 18:15-20). Siblings were, nevertheless, ever-willing to restore a repentant brother to normal family relations (Matthew 18:21-35).

The world of the New Testament was a social environment, moreover, in which a male generally sought revenge for every interpersonal affront or injustice, in order to defend his public honor—except in dealings with siblings, where honor was always extended but never defended (Romans 12:10).  It was a shameful thing, therefore, for a brother to seek compensation for some real or perceived fraternal offense through litigation in the public courts.  As Paul admonished the family of God at Corinth, “The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?  Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers” (6:7-8).

Finally, siblings in antiquity enjoyed a strong sense of emotional bonding.  In the New Testament, we see this most clearly in the connections that Paul experienced with his brothers and sisters in the family of God.  Paul claims, for example, to have the Philippians in his “heart.”  He longs for them all “with the affection of Christ Jesus” (1:7-8).  Later in the letter he exhorts, “Therefore, my beloved brethren whom I long to see, my joy and crown, so stand firm in the Lord, my beloved” (4:1).

At another point in his ministry, Paul sent to Timothy to Thessalonica to inquire about the well-being of the church he had recently established.  Later, when he received Timothy’s good report, Paul was so overjoyed that he could hardly contain himself in his reply to this young congregation.  The emotional bonding Paul experienced with his siblings in the faith is patently clear:

[Timothy] has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you.  Therefore, brothers, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith.  For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. - 1 Thess. 3:6-8

All of the above corresponds, interestingly enough, to modern genetic research.  Social scientists have identified a direct correlation between altruistic behavior among relatives, on the one hand, and the number of genes shared by these persons, on the other.  Siblings share more of the genetic code than any persons of the same generation (50%), and they typically exhibit a closer relational bond, where altruistic behavior is concerned, than any other family relation.  It is no wonder, then, that Jesus, who created us to function in precisely this way, chose the sibling bond—“you are all brothers” (Matt. 23:8)—to define the quality of relationships he envisioned for his community of followers.  The New Testament metaphor of “brothers and sisters in Christ” would have strongly resonated with persons in the ancient world.

The family metaphor, moreover, offers great hope for restoring relational integrity and evangelistic power to our churches today.  The early Christians intentionally organized their local congregations around the relational values outlined above, and these churches reproduced themselves and swept through the pagan empire of Rome like a holy fire.  Even pagan detractors identified fraternal love as something especially Christian:  “See,” Tertullian quotes the unbeliever as exclaiming, “how they love one another!” (Apology 39.8).  We in the evangelical church today have much to learn from the New Testament family metaphor, as we seek to recapture the New Testament ideal of the church as a surrogate family in order to bring genuine hope for healthy relationships to a broken and dysfunctional world.

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Joe Hellerman (Ph.D.) lives in Hermosa Beach, California, with Joann, his wife of 31 years. He teaches New Testament Greek at Talbot Seminary and serves as a team pastor at Oceanside Christian Fellowship in El Segundo. He is the author of two books: When the Church was a Family and Embracing Shared Ministry.

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Read more free articles on community: The Un-American Church by Brent Thomas and Do Friends and Ministry Mix by Jake Chambers.

Also, read Gospel Amnesia by Luma Simms.

6 Threats to Ministry and Friendship Mixing

If you want to stay friends than don’t do ministry together. 

It is either business or friendship; you can’t have both. 

It can be hard to find good help these days, and you can’t afford to lose an employee by becoming their friend.   

These are common sayings in ministry. Are they true? All too often, friends excitedly start ministries, businesses, and churches together only to see it end up tearing the friendship and work apart (even Paul and Barnabas get split up). We are often taught to no blur the lines between relationship and business. We learn to compartmentalize, isolate our groups of friends from one another--coworkers, family, old friends from high school, church relationships, new friends, and those created around a shared interest or hobby. I've noticed a tendency to not only keep these friends separate but also to keep them from knowing me fully.

Does this sound like good news: you can only have your friend in one avenue of life? Jesus models a lifestyle that included leading, teaching, serving, eating, ministering to and with his friends. In John 15:15 he no longer calls his disciples servants but friends. Though he is their king and savior, he considers them friends. This is incredible. Jesus models friendship that crosses cultural, social, and even spiritual barriers. Jesus was not afraid to “do ministry” with friends. Why? Maybe because there is no fear in love as perfect love cast out fear (1 Jn. 4:18).

It is counter-cultural to do all of life with your friends but that seems to fit with the way Jesus lived anyway. The cross, where the perfect loving God of the universe dies for the imperfect scum of the earth, is a constant reminder of how counter-cultural Jesus is and therefore how counter-cultural his followers get to be. Jesus told his followers that it would be their love for one another that would let the world know they were following him (Jn. 12:34-35). Sounds like Christian relationships get to look radically different from the world as the relationships themselves show off the radical love of Jesus of the cross.

What does this look like in real life?

I am glad you asked. About a year and a half ago I asked my good friend Dustin Nickerson to seriously consider and pray about moving to San Diego to join me in serving Red Door Church. Our church leadership felt that his gifts and experience would be a good fit for us at this time, but beyond that I missed my good friend and wanted to do life with him once again.

Dustin and I began praying and dreaming about what it would be like to lead together. I felt God strongly saying that our relationship was a unique gift and it would be better leveraged for the Kingdom by working together rather than apart. Now this sounds like a no brainer right? Here is the catch: we are both strong leaders who have started and led ministries. We are good friends who would be working together on staff for the first time. In addition, it would be a role reversal; last time we led together he was in the first-among-equals role and this time I would be in the first-among-equals role. If that was not enough he would be leaving and leading his family into an area of unknown and would be entering all of my church, work, family, and recreational relationships head on. Oh, and one more thing, our church doesn’t really do outside hires and was in no place to guarantee a long-term job. We had to offer a temporary 3-month trial with no guarantee of a job even if it was a great fit as we were projecting for a budget growth but had no guarantee of one.

With all of that reality on the table we were still excited, but Dustin came to me with a growing concern that this could be too hard on our friendship. After all, friends don’t work together in normal circumstances let alone the barrage of obstacles we were facing.

I began praying through this concern and as I did God spoke to me clearly of how the gospel could empower us to do this and not only survive as friends but thrive. He gave me a warning of four major enemies of friendship and leadership teams that he was graciously calling us to avoid. I wrote Dustin that we needed to watch out for the 4 C’s of death and we pressed on, believing that by God’s power and grace our friendship would be strengthened by working together. We knew the enemy would attack our friendship but also knew if we relied on the truth of the gospel and were watchful for our sinful flesh, we could enjoy a fruitful friendship and ministry together.

I want to share these primary threats to friendship with you in hopes that your relationships and leadership teams can hold off the enemy and his attacks. It really isn’t the circumstances that drive folks apart when they start to work together. It isn’t the work, but our hearts and minds which frequently forget the gospel.

1. Comparison

Comparison kills teams and friendships. When we compare ourselves to one another it will only lead us to pride or despair. Pride when we think that we are better than someone or despair when we believe we are worse. It also models a comparison culture that will lead people to comparing their leaders. People start gaining favorite preachers, teachers, and counselors and won’t want to submit or respond to the leader that is not their favorite. This causes tremendous division and creates room for Satan to have a field day in the church.

The remedy is the cross. Comparing ourselves not to one another but to Christ and his work on the cross. This reminds us that we deserve death and only he could perfectly live our life for us. It puts all of humanity at an even playing field as we all deserve the cross and yet the one who did not deserve it took it for us. A leadership team that focuses its thoughts on the cross is constantly forced back into a posture of humble worship of Jesus (Phil. 2:3-10). It is impossible to pridefully compare yourselves to others while believing in the work of the cross. It is also impossible to despair knowing the grace and love of the cross.

2. Complaining

When complaining leaks into a relationship, it falls apart. Complaining about leadership styles, preaching, sinful patterns, and more. This usually fuels the sheep to complain about the other person too and ends up causing a church filled with complaining gossips. We must not believe the lie that our complaining is justified as there is no complaining that is.

Leaders must lead in building one another up. There is no room in friendship or in the Kingdom for complaining. Scripture speaks of us being a people with praise and thanksgiving on our lips. Remember as Christians we are to do everything without grumbling and rejoice always (Phil. 2:14, 4:4). We must fight to remain thankful for one another’s friendship and gifts.

3. Critique

This is very close to complaining, and the two often hold hands. It can be easy to become an ear to critics and then become a critic. Leaders must not be an ear to critics but call others to check their criticism. If it is legitimate, we must go to our friend in person and speak truth in love. Critique grows outside of real relationship. Time and distance allow for us to characterize the other person into a criticism voo-doo doll.

The remedy is relationship. Friendship thrives in a community of light and confession. It thrives when friends recreate, party, eat and play together. Relational weight allows us to speak truth in love when necessary. Friends with a strong relationship are quick to call critics to be silent and to give their friend the benefit of the doubt. Relationship involves real hearts and real people instead of caricatures of a person’s weakness.

4. Competition

Leaders can forget they are on the same team and compete for audiences, status, and all sorts of junk that only leads to division. Dustin and I compete in all sorts of sports and games and are both very competitive. But we can’t forget that in God’s Kingdom we are on the same team. We are unified by the same gospel. We worship the same God and are empowered by the same Holy Spirit for the same purpose. A team unified by the gospel is quick to see each other’s gifts and victories as nothing short of sheer grace. A gospel-centered team is quick to point out and celebrate the evidence of God's grace in each other's lives! Dustin and I have committed to be for each other. We want the other one to succeed and be blessed.

5. Control and 6. Celebrity

Okay, if you are counting you realize that this is number five and six. Good work. But I thought I would throw in a couple of bonus C’s of relational death.

It can be so easy for the American dream and American individualism to creep into the life of the church. A mentality where it has to be about the one man starting something from scratch on his way to becoming rich and famous. In this environment leaders will have to fight to make all the decisions (control) and fight even harder to get all the credit (celebrity).

Does this sound like the gospel to you? No. The gospel is about one man having all control and all the credit but that one man is the God-man Jesus Christ! The gospel allows us to not be in control but to submit to Jesus, his word and his people as we lead humbly together. It allows us not to fight for fame but instead to weep when men want to give us the credit that only belongs to Jesus (Acts 14:4-18).

How are things going for the church and our friendship now?

We are over a year into Dustin and his family moving here and it has been an amazing blessing. Dustin is now a co-elder with me and helped lead one of the biggest transitions our church has experienced as we reorganized the whole church. He worked on staff for one year and we loved working side-by-side daily and our friendship grew as we worked together. We have now transitioned to him being off staff as God opened a local position in our mission field that became a "can’t miss opportunity" and our friendship has grown in that transition, too. We are next-door neighbors; our wives and kids enjoy and love one another. We get to share the gospel together in our neighborhood. The enemy has attacked our families and our friendship in a myriad of ways but by God’s grace we have walked in the light, confessed sin to one another, prayed for one another, and continued to trust Jesus to rule our friendship. We laugh, play, serve, teach, eat, and do ministry together. To be honest it is going great. It turns out believing the gospel and doing life similar to Jesus—with friends—can be fun!

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Jake Chambers (@JakeJayChambers) is a member of Jesus’ bride - the church. He is the husband to his beautiful bride Lindsey, and a daddy to his boy Ezra. Jake is passionate about seeing the gospel both transform lives and create communities that love Jesus, the city, and the lost. He currently serves Red Door Church through leading, preaching, equipping, and pastoring. You can read more of his writing at reddoorlife.tv.

The Un-American Church: Discipleship Community

Alan Wolfe, though not a Christian, is an astute social critic of “American Christianity.” In his insightful 2003 book The Transformation of American Religion, he notes that, far from being a socially transformative movement, “American Christianity” has far too often been the one transformed by American culture:

In every aspect of the religious life, American faith has met American culture – and American culture has triumphed. Whether or not the faithful ever were a people apart, they are so no longer. - Alan Wolfe, The Transformation of American Religion.

One of the areas where we see “Americanism” infecting Christianity is individualism. We Americans love to believe in the rugged individual who never needs anyone else. This notion has infiltrated American Christianity so that we primarily think of our faith in “personal” terms. We think of our “personal relationship” with Jesus and our private “spiritual walk”. We often attend Christian events with lots of other Christians, but we’re not necessarily involved in anyone’s life to the degree that the skeletons are not only out of the closet but in the living room. We can attend a worship service with thousands of other people, yet live out the bulk of our faith isolated--just us and our bibles.

We Exist for More

We forget that not even the Lone Ranger was alone and that individualism does not seem to match the expectation God gives his people in the scriptures. God shows us that love, demonstrated in and through sacrificial, gospel-fueled community is the center of missional discipleship. God expects his people to live and grow in community. Joseph Hellerman argues in his book When The Church Was A Family:

Spiritual formation occurs primarily in the context of community. People who remain connected with their brothers and sisters in the local church almost invariably grow in self-understanding, and they mature in their ability to relate in healthy ways to God and to their fellow human beings. This is especially the case for those courageous Christians who stick it out through the often messy process of interpersonal discord and conflict resolution. Long-term interpersonal relationships are the crucible of genuine progress in the Christian life. People who stay also grow. People who leave do not grow.

It is a simple but profound biblical reality that we both grow and thrive together or we do not grow much at all.

We exist to reflect the image of God, who himself dwells eternally in community. This is why God can shockingly say: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God was not saying that he was not enough for Adam, but that Adam was created to exist not only in relationship with God (vertically) but also in relationship with others like him (horizontally). Adam was created for relationship and for community because God exists in community. Though God saves us as individuals, He saves us into community. Many of the admonitions of the New Testament seem to assume that community is the primary context in which the Christian life is to be lived. Consider Paul’s admonitions from Romans 12:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. - Romans 12:9-13

Continue reading just a few verses later:

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. - Romans 12:16-18

Reputation of the Un-American Church

Love is the summary of the Law--what God expects of us (Deuteronomy 6:5; Mark 12:28-34; Romans 13:8-10; Galatians 5:14, etc.). It is not, Jesus says, by our political affiliation, not by the movies we boycott, not by the “family-friendly” music we listen to, nor by the “faith-based soccer league” in which our children play that the world will know that we belong to him. It is our love for one another. That’s how people will know that we belong to Jesus (John 13:35). In other words, as we live in community we are also on display. Joyful, humble, self-sacrificial love for one another overflows toward and invites in friends, family, neighbors and cities. This love of the community on display shines like light in the darkness and as we spur one another on to maturity we also invite others to come along.

Jesus tells his followers that they are a “city on a hill”  that cannot be hidden (Matthew 5:14). Imagine traveling through the desert for days. You’re nearly out of water and your sunbaked skin is beginning to ache. You ran out of food this morning, now it’s already dark and the heat gives way to the biting chill of the night breeze. Then, you see lights, city lights, on a hill! Your step quickens as you begin to get closer and as excitement, anticipation and relief well-up inside you. You can’t wait to be there. Rest. Refreshment. Company.

I wonder if our neighborhoods think of our church families or even our individual families this way? The New Testament assumes that: Love, demonstrated in and through sacrificial, gospel-fueled community is the center of missional discipleship. By “missional discipleship,” I simply mean that “discipleship” is the entire trajectory of the Christian life, including coming to faith. It does not begin “at salvation,” nor does it end at some point of spiritual maturity. “Discipleship” should be understood in terms of “mission” because we exist to make, mature and multiply disciples. The very nature of “discipleship” is always striving to bring people closer to Jesus, no matter where they might be at on the spectrum. Discipleship is joining in the missio dei, the mission of God.

One of the reasons so much of modern church community is not missional discipleship is because, in practice, we require people to “believe” certain things before they can “belong” to our community. We use belief to exclude people from community. They, the outsiders, must cross these church-made cultural or doctrinal barriers to be part of us, the insiders. Sometimes this might be as well-intentioned as wanting someone to declare publicly their saving faith in Jesus, but oftentimes, it is over our unique approach to particular doctrines and practices. After all, isn’t the point of most church membership classes to make sure you believe like we do so you can really belong.  While we use belief to exclude people from community, Jesus did the opposite. He used community to bring people to belief. Remember, this is why the religious leaders were so upset with Jesus: he ate with sinners and tax collectors. It wasn’t just cleanliness issues of the Old Testament law, though that was certainly part of it. Jesus was opening God’s community, allowing people to belong, in order to bring them to faith in himself. I am not saying we should do away with theological distinctives. Instead, I am saying that we should use community to bring people to belief rather than use belief to exclude people from community.

As my own church family looks ahead to the coming year, we are looking for more ways to involve those who don’t yet believe in our community life. This requires intentionality and may force some people to re-examine their own boundaries. I am reminded of our experience with “Tim” (not his real name, just for his privacy). Tim is a phenomenal drummer who was dating a girl in our church family. We slowly began to involve him in community life by engaging him in something he loves; we asked if he would drum for our gathered worship. Initially, we just asked for once a month, then twice a month, and then he became our primary drummer. Though this made some people uncomfortable (how can we have a non-Christian lead our worship music?!), Tim seemed to enjoy drumming with the band and gradually began paying more attention during the teaching time. As he began to develop relationships, he and his girlfriend got plugged in to a missional community and he began asking lots of questions. We were able to baptize Tim as a follower of Jesus last year. We are now humbled to truly call Tim family, even as he’s been living in our community for several years.

Church discipline struggles in individual-centric church, too. Church discipline has so little sting in the life of an unrepentant sinners because the original bite of church discipline was the exclusion from community. You could no longer be with people who loved you like family. The people who loved you regardless of where you came from and who loved you so much that wouldn’t let you keep on sinning. However, so many of our churches have so little community that we’ve lost almost all the intended impact of church discipline. Individuality robs us of the treasures (both comfortable and uncomfortable) of community.

Joseph Hellerman argues: “Spiritual formation occurs primarily in the context of community.” We need each other in order to be transformed. And it is as we learn to accept being wronged instead of insisting on our own rights (1 Corinthians 6:7), when we learn the humble confidence of considering others more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3), when we learn to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:1-5), and as we strive to “maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3) in front of and with those who don’t yet believe that we live as a city on a hill, as we “shine like lights in the world” in the midst of a “crooked and twisted generation (Philippians 2:15). Love, demonstrated in and through sacrificial, gospel-fueled community is the center of missional discipleship.

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Brent Thomas (MDiv) and his wife Kristi live in Glendale, AZ with four biological sons and one foster child. Brent pastored in KY and TX before moving back to AZ to plant Church of the Cross which exists to make, mature, and multiply disciples through gospel, community, and mission. He sometimes writes at Holiday At The Sea and hosts house shows with The Habañero Collective.

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Read Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson

Read free articles: Gospel Community and Being Ministers of Reconciliation. 

A JESUS-LIKE CHURCH CULTURE

In a very real sense, the work of Jesus is complete. When it comes to our standing as beloved, forgiven, delighted-in children of God, “It is finished,” just as Christ said. His sinless life secured for us a new and irrevocable status—holy and blameless in God’s sight. His death fulfilled the requirements of God’s justice toward our sins. Jesus lived the life we should have lived, and he died the death we should have died. Therefore, we are free. What a wonderful and humbling reality in which we now live—God does not treat us as our sins deserve, because on the cross, he has already treated Jesus as our sins deserve. This being true, there is still much work that Jesus intends to do! Acts 1:1 indicates that the work of Jesus on earth was not completed with His death, burial, resurrection, ascension, and seating at the right hand of God. Luke writes, “In the first book (the Gospel of Luke), O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach.” Began to do and teach? How could there be more for Jesus to do than he what has already done? That’s where we, as Christ’s “ambassadors,” come into the picture. We are sent into the world, filled with his Spirit and enriched by his grace and truth, to represent him. In short, the work of Jesus continues through Christians.

WHAT ARE CHURCHES SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT?

As Jesus’ ambassadors, Christians have been set apart to faithfully mirror him in our neighborhoods, our places of work and play, and our realms of influence. Therefore, our calling is to labor in every way possible to model our ministry and message after his. We are to live as those who are “full of grace and truth,” whose churches and ministries, because we are walking in the path of Jesus, will attract the types of people who were attracted to him, and, by unfortunate necessity, will draw criticism from the types of people who criticized him.

The purpose of this article, then, is to consider what constitutes a ministry that is full of both grace and truth. In other words, our task is to align our collective life and ministry to the life and ministry of Jesus.

CULTIVATing an Atmosphere that is “Full of Grace”

What does it mean to have a ministry atmosphere that is “full of grace” (John 1:14)? We will consider this question from a few different angles.

First, we must address the barriers created by Christians—barriers that have hidden the real Jesus from the world.

Gandhi was once asked why He never became a Christian. His answer was, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Gandhi had an admiration for Jesus, but could not reconcile how Christians were such poor representatives of their master. In his mind, this is what kept him from becoming a follower of Jesus.

If we are serious about being Jesus’ ambassadors, we need to listen very carefully to statements like this one. We must examine the most common barriers that stand between the real Jesus and people’s false impressions of him—impressions which, unfortunately, have been projected to a watching world by many sincere yet misguided Christians. These barriers include:

Condemnation. Philip Yancey often asks people he meets what they think of Christians. The answer he hears, with very little exception, is that Christians are judgmental, intolerant, and holier-than-thou. When the September 11 terrorist attacks took place on the World Trade Center, one very well-known Christian leader confirmed this stance by saying on national television, “If you are a homosexual, a member of the ACLU, in favor of abortion, or part of the People of the American Way, then I point my finger in your face and say you did this. You made this happen.” A Christian friend of mine who is an actor once invited a gay friend over to have dinner with him and his wife. Their guest soon realized (from the Bible on the coffee table) that they were Christians. He then said to my friend, “You are a Christian, and you actually like me?” This is tragic, yet all too common.

If we are serious about being Christ’s ambassadors, we must humbly own the fact that many people believe that Christians dislike them. Whether this is actually true or not, it is our starting point in the minds of most non-Christian people. If we are not guilty ourselves, then we are at the very least guilty by association with believers who have misrepresented the biblical Jesus to our culture. So we must take personal responsibility, as far as it depends on us, to reorient people’s perception of Christians, and especially of Christ himself.

Separation. In a day when many Christians want to separate themselves and their children from people and things that are considered secular, Christ’s ambassadors must resist this “us against them” mindset. We must do everything in our power to become friends with as many non-Christians as we can—no conditions attached. This must be a central value of our Christian communities. It is helpful to look at the life of Jesus in this regard. Luke 15:1-2 says plainly that all of the “sinners” made a habit of hanging around Jesus. They wanted to be near him, and they wanted to hear what he had to say. Meanwhile, religious folk were accusing Jesus of being a glutton, a drunk, and a friend of sinners (Luke 7:34). We know that these accusations were false—Jesus was tempted in every way. However, he was unapologetically a true friend to the lost, to all who were alien to the religious communities of his day. He seemed to welcome parting ways with religious folks if that was necessary  to get close to sinners. The one who “welcomed sinners and ate with them” now insists that his followers assume the same posture. “God’s grace is for real sinners” must be more than a statement on our church websites. It must characterize the life and practice of our ministries.

Reputation. There is a price to pay if we get serious about cultivating atmospheres that are full of grace. In becoming a friend of sinners, as Jesus did, we should expect some resistance. When we pursue friendship with those who are outside the faith, some fellow believers will be suspicious of us. Consider Luke 7, for example, when a “sinful woman” enters the home of Simon the Pharisee. In the name of love, and in the spirit of demonstrable grace, Jesus received her very un-orthodox display of affection toward him. He breaks with religious customs, allowing the woman to touch his feet (feet were considered unclean—one could not even ask a slave to touch them for this reason). He breaks with social customs also, receiving her as his disciple. It was scandalous in Jesus’ day for a rabbi to receive a woman as a disciple, much less a woman with a scandalous history. Most scandalous, however, is the way that Jesus breaks with moral customs. The woman lets down her hair (this was grounds for divorce in that culture—a woman could do this only in the presence of her immediate family). She touches him with the tool of her trade, a prostitute’s perfume, and kiss him with a prostitute’s lips…and he allows it! Of course we know the rest of the story—Jesus was shunned as a man of ill repute. Giving positive attention to this woman, who to them was clearly “a sinner,” was evidence enough of moral compromise.

This has serious ramifications for those who wish to follow Jesus in a modern context. We must come to terms with the fact that if Jesus were a 21^st century American, he would not associate godliness with membership in a political party. He would not tell a lesbian she was outside of God’s will without also offering her a personal, no-strings-attached friendship. He would not talk about how smoking destroys God’s temple while simultaneously devouring his third piece of fried chicken at a church potluck. He would not condemn adultery as being any worse than studying the Bible for the wrong reasons. If we are accustomed to setting up our own Mishnah, our own set of “clean laws” that define one’s worthiness to be received into Jesus’ company, we need to give serious re-evaluation to our methods and priorities!

Pride. Becoming a friend of sinners begins with the understanding that we are much more like the “chief of sinners” than we are like Jesus Christ. Our approach with all people, no matter who they are or what their history, must assume the posture of “fellow beggars humbly telling others where to find the bread” (Steve Brown). If we really want people to be impacted by the Gospel and to enjoy the riches of God’s grace, they must first see in us the humility of those who have been, and continue to be, genuinely impacted by grace ourselves. Our humility must be authentic and not just an act. Paul was not above humbling himself. In Romans 7 he gives us a window into his personal struggle with the sin of coveting—a sin nobody would see unless he told them—and the ways in which the Gospel heals that sin. In 1 Timothy Paul identifies himself as the chief of all sinners. If we intend to be the aroma of Jesus in our ministries and our messages, we need to move past our love for reputation and image. Without realizing it, we can begin to build our identities on how good we look—on being “model Christians” that people are supposed to admire because of how put-together we appear to be. This is a trap and it will rob our ministries of power. If people in our midst are going to be changed by the grace of Jesus, they must regularly witness the Gospel working effectively in our lives—healing us of our sins and deepest wounds and fears.

our communities must be sinner-safe

There was a reason why all the sinners ran to Jesus on a regular basis (Luke 15:1-2). Though they knew he was against their sin—he never watered down the law’s demands—they wanted to be around him because they knew the reason why he was against their sin—because he was for their flourishing! If we want to be his ambassadors, therefore, several commitments must characterize us, our ministries, and our message.

Respecting and valuing all people. People must sense us relating to them on the basis of their God-given dignity, not on the basis of their shortcomings. If we are not careful, we can easily fall into the trap of diminishing the worth of a human being by thinking first of the ways they need to be fixed versus valuing them as bearers of the divine image, made for glory. The following quote from CS Lewis offers helpful perspective:

It is maybe possible to think too much of your own potential glory hereafter. But it is impossible to think too often or too deeply about that of your neighbors. The weight of my neighbor’s glory should be laid daily on my back. So heavy a weight it is that only humility can carry it. It’s a serious thing to live in a society of immortals. To remember that millions of years from now, the dullest and most uninteresting person you meet may one day be an incredible creature, who if you saw him now you would be strongly tempted to worship. - CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

 A biblical view of sin. Treating people with dignity does not imply a reluctance to challenge sin. If we are going to love people as Jesus does, we will be committed to their flourishing, which means we will deeply desire that they be obedient to God! So, the question is not, “Will we challenge sin?” but rather “How will we challenge sin, and with what motivation will we challenge it?” We must be on God’s agenda here. God is vehemently opposed to sin both for his own glory and very much for the person. God’s desire is that we live by his design, which is life to us.

A grace-filled posture toward sinners like ourselves. Whenever we challenge sin of any kind, our motivation must be because we care so deeply for those, like ourselves, who sin. Otherwise, we shouldn’t say anything at all about sin. You are no doubt familiar with the group from Topeka, Kansas who picketed the funeral of Mathew Sheppard, a young gay man who was beaten to death by some of his peers, with signs that read “God hates fags” and “Thank God for AIDS,” among other horrible, evil things. This example is certainly extreme. However, there are going to be seeds in our own hearts that are prone to look down on those to whom we feel superior. It is an evil thing to desire or celebrate someone’s harm instead of his or her well-being. As Jesus stood over Jerusalem, which had rejected his love, he wept for them. Do people, especially people who are “not like us,” sense this kind of love from us? Jesus did much more than merely tolerate sinful people in his midst. He cherished them and pursued their hearts that they might become free indeed. We have no option but to do the same.

we must keep first things first

Jesus, and nothing else, must be our “main thing” at all times. Our main emphasis must always be on the person and work of Christ. We must follow the example of the Apostle Paul who decided to know nothing except Jesus Christ and him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2).

Therefore, everything else takes a back seat to Jesus. Often, we will equate “outreach” to converting others to the norms of our particular tribe (our political views, our theological tradition, our dress code, our ethics, our parenting philosophy, etc.) instead of converting them to a love and adoration of Jesus. But the norms of our tribe must always be secondary to, and in many cases discarded because of, a greater vision for people to see Jesus and know him for who he really is. Additionally, in all things we must lead with the grace of God versus with the law of God. When we require people to “get their act together” before we give them access to Jesus and his grace, we fail to follow the methods of the Lord, who welcomed and “graced” people before he called them to change (Luke 7:36-50, Luke 15:1-2, John 8:1-11, etc.). A cosmetic, outside-in, second-things-first approach to change contradicts the inside-out, first-things-first approach of the gospel.

Cultivate a Ministry of Grace

In cultivating a “full of grace” ministry atmosphere, we must carefully consider how we are presenting Christ to people who are either not Christian or somewhere along the journey of overcoming sin. That’s all of us, isn’t it?

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Scott Sauls, a graduate of Furman University and Covenant Seminary, is foremost a son of God and the husband of one beautiful wife (Patti), the father of two fabulous daughters (Abby and Ellie), and the primary source of love and affection for a small dog (Lulu). Professionally, Scott serves as the Senior Pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee. Prior to Nashville, Scott was a Lead and Preaching Pastor, as well as the writer of small group studies, for Redeemer Presbyterian of New York City. Twitter: @scottsauls

Editor’s Note: This is a repost of A Jesus-Like Church Culture  by Scott Sauls. It appears here with the author’s permission. Website: cpcblogs.blogspot.com.

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Other helpful writings on this topic are: An Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson and Religion-less Spirituality by Timothy Keller.

Being Ministers of Reconciliation

In a world of subjective truths, tolerance, and acceptance, Christianity has become nothing more than 'another' religion in the eyes of many. Western culture, in particular, is grievously enamored with the idea of self-reliance, self-dependence, and self-worth. Christianity is extremely counter-cultural because it teaches the actuality of human depravity, the necessity for a savior, and an eternal focus for our temporal lives. For unbelievers at-large, this can be something that can seem intolerant and outdated, a tradition steeped in rigid tradition, and a stumbling block to the progress of the society and the world. For Christians, however, depraved humanity in need of a savior is true reality. This is life for the human race. As we consider our calling to be “ministers of reconciliation” (2 Cor. 5:18-20), we must understand the people we are living around, their view of the world, and the journey they are on. Likewise, we have to continually allow the Spirit to draw us to repentance in areas of life where we fail to “let the love of Christ control us” (2 Cor. 5:14). Though loving others is often difficult and even scary, the pressure is not on us to change hearts, for only God can save through the transforming power of the gospel (Acts 4:12). As a friend of mine says often, “We do the ministry, God does the miracles.” The ministry of reconciliation acknowledges two truths: humans are sinful and we need a savior. The message of reconciliation is God dealt with sin himself and saved humanity. This is the Christian's message.

How Can this Message be Rejected?

Perhaps a substantial reason for the negative view of Christianity is the attitude and actions of Christians themselves. As a world religion, the stigma of dependence on something outside ourselves is already a built-in excuse to reject believers. In addition, Christians have a tendency to mistake their salvation as license to be self-righteous and judgmental, wondering why unbelievers are not intelligent enough to “figure it out.” Like the Pharisee in Luke 18, we often look at the people around us exclaiming, “Thank you God that I’m not like these tax collectors!” As the story goes, the Pharisee has much to learn from the tax collector whose only justification is in the mercy of God and not in his righteous (or unrighteous) works. I have encountered many non-Christians and de-churched Christians who use Christian hypocrisy as the chief reason for their unbelief. Often times there is a deeper issue at hand, but just as often this objection is simply as real to them as Jesus is to us.

For Christians to be catalysts for change in the world, we must first wear his name with humility, dignity, and fervor. As Jesus so clearly states in Luke 19, even if we do not worship him, creation itself will cry out his name. He doesn’t need us to change the world but, nonetheless, he uses us as ministers of reconciliation. It is our duty and obligation to speak truth into the lives of others (Matt. 28:18-20), and there is no “out clause” for the Christian. We are to be salt and light (Matt. 5:13-16), loving God and others because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). There is a story going on all around us, a story that God has been writing since before the foundation of the world. Acts 17 tells us that God has appointed to every person the time and boundaries in which they live so that they will find him. So, for the Christian, this means that not only are you in the time and place that you are to find God, but those around you are in a similar position. Again, you cannot save anyone, but it is your burden as a Christian to treat everyone as though they will turn to Christ in that instance. As Charles Spurgeon once said (and I paraphrase), “I believe that God will save his elect and I also believe that if I do not preach the gospel, he will lay the blood of the lost at my doorstep.”

Hope

In the end, we do not know the answers to every question about how and why God saves anyone, but his Word is very clear that the proclamation of the gospel is a key component to transformation (Romans 10). People’s hearts cannot be ultimately changed for the better by new legislature, war, personal enlightenment, or secret philosophies; it can only be changed by the sin-stomping, life-altering life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father but through him and by him (John 6:44; 14:6).

This is our hope, and this is hope for those who are far from God. God is reconciling all things to himself and as reconciled people, Christians are to reflect Christ in a way that is not self-righteous and proud, but rather humble and sacrificial. Perhaps one of the most telling verses in the entire New Testament comes in Acts 2. After hearing the preaching of the Word, the early Christians went about their daily lives following the apostles’ teaching, sacrificing for one another, and spending genuine time in community. The result? They were loved by those around them and “the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (2:47). People were being saved through the Spirit of God just by watching these Christians live their lives! This is the gospel at work, changing lives through lives that love God and love others. The Word being preached is extremely important, as seen earlier in Acts 2, but there is so much more to it. Christians can make an eternal impact by obeying and worshiping God the way these early believers did. The truth, and only the truth, sets hearts free (John 8:32).

Toward Being Ministers of Reconciliation

As someone who is in constant prayer and repentance about my own selfishness and propensity to avoid serving others, there are a few ways that I personally seek to love my neighbors as Christ calls me to:

1. Pray, Pray, Pray – Nothing of this magnitude can be accomplished without the Spirit’s work (1 Cor. 2:12). When you share the gospel and when someone receives it, there is supernatural power weaved throughout the entire process. Knowing that I need – and have – God’s help encourages me to worry less about my own fear of man.
2. Remember Christ – Though WWJD? bracelets have largely come and gone, this slogan is actually highly missional. When speaking with others, praying for others, and serving others, I have the perfect model in Jesus. When I don’t feel like being generous, I am reminded of how generous Christ is to me on a daily basis. When I don’t feel like serving, I am reminded that God himself stepped into human history and suffered the cross with joy (Hebrews 12:2).
3. Go – Loving and reaching my neighbors is frequently a better idea than action. Upon relying on the Spirit and remembering how Christ lived, I am finally reminded of the Great Commission’s call to literally take this good news to the lost (Matt. 28:18-20). This may be the hardest part, but an understanding of who Christ is, what he’s done, and what he calls me to propels me into his mission. May we all trust him with this responsibility.

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Brandon Smith is Editor of Project TGM and Pastoral Resident at CityView Church in Fort Worth, Texas. Connect with him on Twitter @BrandonSmith85.

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To read more about how sharing the message of reconciliation read Jonathan Dodson's book, Unbelievable Gospel.

Why Give Thanks?

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.  - Psalm 107:1-2

Psalm 107 doesn’t begin by marshaling reasons to thank God. Rather, the worshipper leads off with gratitude: “Oh give thanks to the LORD!” Bubbling over before the Lord, he enjoins us to worship with him. Sometimes we find it difficult to be spontaneously grateful to God. Complaining comes more naturally. Fortunately, the Psalmist gives us specific reasons we should give thanks to God. Two big reasons we should be grateful to God are: 1) Because he is good and 2) Because his goodness overflows.

Give Thanks Because He is Good

The first reason for giving thanks to God is because he is good. You might be thinking, "You don’t know how much bad I've experienced this year." Hold on. Notice the writer doesn’t say give thanks because of what God has done. Rather, we are to give thanks because God, in his essence, is good. We have to get our attention off of ourselves to see it. What does it mean for God to be good? His goodness can refer to his moral excellence, an inherent goodness. We thank him because he is the origin and fountain of goodness. In fact, apart from God being the source of good, we wouldn’t know and experience the good. We would have no basis for delighting in the good done by our children or praising the character of a public servant saying, “That was good.” God gives us a reason for goodness—himself—and as a result we have a moral compass. We can discern between good and bad and delight in what is good.

Goodness can also refer to God’s beauty. This meaning of goodness refers to the superior quality of his goodness. When a mountain top view of moving film is particularly striking, we will say: “That was very good" or perhaps "Awesome.” Beauty calls out awe. God’s innate goodness isn’t just morally laudable; it’s aesthetically provoking. His glory furnishes us with a sense of beauty, an aesthetic witness that says, yes, there are things that are truly beautiful because there is a God of beauty. Elsewhere the psalmist tells us: “Out of Zion the perfection of beauty, God, has shone forth” (50:1). We should thank God because He is morally good and aesthetically good, both virtuous and beautiful. He has left us a moral compass and an aesthetic witness.

Give Thanks Because His Goodness Overflows

With God's goodness in view, why can we give thanks for his goodness? Because God’s goodness overflows. God is so good he can’t contain himself. He has to overflow his goodness in an expression of everlasting love. Not only do we get morality and beauty from his goodness, but we also receive love. Through his love he imparts his goodness to us. We know he is good because he is good to us. So, we thank him, not just because he is good in abstract glory, but also because he is good to us in concrete ways. How is he good to us? Through his never-ending love. His goodness isn’t a side hug or a splash of affection. It is a continual, never-stopping, never-giving up, always and forever love (thanks, Sally-Lloyd Jones). A never-ending fountain. He loves you. He loves us, with love inexhaustible. Now you may think you are unlovable, but the goodness of God transcends the mess of your life. You may say, "Oh, you don’t know my life. God can’t really love me." Or, "You don’t know how many mistakes I made this year." It simply isn't true, his steadfast love endures forever; it extends beyond anything you’ve ever done. Instead of asking: "Can he love me?" We should ask: "How can I get under his love?"

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble. - Psalm 107:2

It’s the redeemed that can sing of God’s goodness and love. How can we get under his fountain of love? We become one of the redeemed. How are we redeemed? Not by being moral, not by being good. We get redeemed and loved by actually giving our badness to God. Like the Israelites, we return from exile. We open up honestly and say to him: “I’m bad, I’m actually worse than I really know, and I’m an offense to you in your never-ending goodness. Forgive me and take my badness. Take it in exchange for your goodness, the goodness that overflows to me in Jesus.” We get under the fountain of God’s love by walking under it with Jesus. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus. Romans 8:38 says, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” How do we get under God’s goodness? By faith in Jesus, God becomes good for us. He is good, and he overflows in never-ending love for all who hope in Jesus. So, we give thanks to God because he is good. And he is good, not just as a basis for morality or an object of spiritual adoration, but in the gift of his goodness through the gospel, through the good news that God takes our badness in exchange for his goodness, our deformity for his beauty, our imperfection for his perfection in Jesus.

The Redemption of Thanksgiving

Why should we be filled with gratitude to God? Because he redeems us from trouble. The redemption here isn’t individualistic with God redeeming little individuals from little troubles all over the world. No, his redemption is corporate. God is redeeming a people, a community. He says: “And gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south” (Psalm 107:3). Historically, this is a reference to God rescuing Israel from exile. And yet, he’s continuing this gathering through Jesus, people from every tribe, tongue, nation, and language (Rev 5:9) and this people is the church. When God redeems; he gathers. He redeems us into a community. He converts us not just to the Head but to the Body. God redeems, not individuals but a people, a community that joyfully shares in their redemption, giving thanks for their Redeemer. He redeems us from trouble into a new community. As you consider God's goodness, don't forget to see it overflowing in the community around you. The church is his gift to us, and though awkward at times (because we are awkward at times), God's people remind us of God's redeeming grace. Pause to look back and look around you to consider the ways he has redeemed you and others from trouble. Often we see him redeem us from our trouble by sending us a community who reveals God’s goodness to us by buying us groceries when we cannot afford them, being supported through grief, pointed to Jesus in our sin, encouraged about our growth, prayed for and loved.

Gratitude is not complete until it is expressed. I can be grateful for my wife in my heart, but if she never hears it, she never benefits. Express your gratitude with words. Like a fountain, like God, gratitude for goodness should overflow. Take some time to call, email, or text someone today to point out the goodness of God in their lives. Thank or encourage a friend, someone from your church family, or a relative. Most of all, pause and give thanks to God. Give thanks to God because he is good--morally, aesthetically, and redemptively. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

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Jonathan K. Dodson (MDiv; ThM) serves as a pastor of Austin City Life in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Gospel-Centered Discipleship and has written articles in numerous blogs and journals such as The Resurgence, The Journal of Biblical Counseling, and Boundless. He has discipled men and women abroad and at home for almost two decades, taking great delight in communicating the gospel and seeing Christ formed in others. Twitter: @Jonathan_Dodson

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For more work from Jonathan on thinking through the implications of the gospel in our everyday lives, check out Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson. It is now also available in print.

For more free articles on the gospel and holidays, read: Against Transactional Sanctification by Bill Streger and 8 Ways to Fight Consumerism by Hugh Halter.

From Moralism to Evangelism

When people hear the story of my family and how God has rescued us from the American Dream into a sacrificial calling of discipleship, after spending almost 6 years in my neighborhood doing nothing for our neighbors besides condemning them, they often ask “Why?” What was it that caused me to change from a self-centered life to one that seeks to show off who Jesus is and what he has done? This question has to be asked. Not only asked but answered. If we just give the “how tos” of discipleship, we'll only help foster moralists who can follow the new “rules of discipleship.” If we express an understanding of why we're called to discipleship, then we'll move the discussion away from moralism and dispel the myth that the church is only an institution, another corporation in need of investors. By boldly offering our reasons for following Christ on mission, we can inspire movement, multiplication, and joy - a genuine dialogue with the Holy Spirit.

Basically, we need to ask, “Why does the gospel change us from inward love of self to outward love of God and neighbor?”

Kill Moralism Or It Will Kill You

When I moved to my neighborhood almost 9 years ago now, I was involved with a local church and became a champion of moralism. I seriously won the gold medal of moralism. I could have easily battled the best of them and come out on top as I built up my Ebeneezer of pride, thumbing my nose at those who weren’t as holy as I.

Then I woke up one morning at around 3am and asked myself, “If I died tonight, would I go to heaven?”

I thought through my works of righteousness and knew that all my best works on this earth were simply fodder for sermon illustrations. All my righteousness pointed to how great I was and how lacking the hearers were. Basically, my works were to create disciples of Seth who would be ready and willing to follow me and parrot my every word. Realizing this early that morning, I was no longer sure if I would go to heaven. In fact, the more I thought about heaven, the more I was sure I wasn’t going. All my best works were muddied with self.

Then I read a verse that made me angry with God. I mean not so angry that I’d swear because my holy tongue would never utter such disgrace. Anyways, here was God's word to me that morning:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28

I had to laugh. For me, being a Christian was anything but easy. It was a burden. My life was so heavy, so difficult. Maybe Jesus died for my sins, but it was my job to “get to it” so I could be sanctified. Whether it was praying more, reading my bible more, using people as a checklist/project to feel better about myself, or serving the church more... whatever these things were, they weren’t easy or light.

I took holiness to mean that it was us versus them.  Saints versus Sinners. God's people versus the World.  Me versus Them.

The only reason I interacted with neighbors was to knock on their door, give them a bible, tell them they were going to hell, and be glad I did my work. I was sure they'd never repent because the road is narrow. I was the only one on it. Lonely. Hurting. Weary. Heavy-laden.

Be Rescued, Rest, & Then Work

My good friends weren’t taking super-holy lifestyle to kindly. Praise God for them. They asked me to listen to some preachers they knew were godly and gospel centered.

Then, one of them asked me: How do you know you are saved and one of God’s children?

I responded: By testing my works

He asked: How is that going? Do you ever pass that test?

I somberly answered: I’ve never passed that test

He then showed me this from Calvin:

If we have been chosen in him, we shall not find assurance of our election in ourselves; and not even in God the Father, if we conceive him as severed from his Son. Christ, then, is the mirror wherein we must, and without self-deception may, contemplate our own election. For since it is into his body that the Father has destined those to be engrafted whom he has willed from eternity to be his own, that he may hold as sons all whom he acknowledges to be among his members, we have a sufficiently clear and firm testimony that we have been inscribed in the book of life (cf. Rev. 21:27) if we are in communion with Christ - John Calvin - Inst. III.xxiv.5

My friend asked me: What if your works weren’t the barometer of assurance of salvation but the works of Jesus were?

I exclaimed: That would change everything!

What ended up happening throughout this conversation and throughout my journey out of legalism is the word of God became powerful to my heart.

Jesus says in Matthew that those who hear his words and put them into practice are wise, and those who listen to his words and do not put them into practice are fools. That passage rings true in every aspect of missional living.

I thought back to the words of Jesus when he said that his yoke was easy and his burden was light. Either Jesus was a liar or I wasn’t understanding the gospel and didn’t understand that it was actually good news.

If I lived in light Jesus as the mirror of my election, then the gospel would be very good news. The yoke of missional living would be easy and the burden would be light. God rescues moralists. So rest... then work with his power.

Old Hearts Die Hard

God took me and my family out of that church and landed us with Soma Communities. This was like being taken out of slavery into not only freedom but a palace. It wasn't the old church’s fault, it was completely my heart's fault for desiring self more than God.

As we moved to another church family and Soma started to speak what it looked like to live on mission, all my wife and I heard was "do this, do that." We again felt as though moralism was being piled on. We were still hearing what we wanted to hear instead of what was actually being said. Moralism doesn’t die quickly. The gospel must be applied by the Spirit over and over again.

At this point in our journey, we were just sitting back and taking everything in. We were asked to lead in certain ways, but I still didn't trust the moralist living inside me. I didn’t want to open up the cage to let him out quite yet. He needed to be slaughtered by the sword of the Spirit.

One day, we finally heard what our brothers Jeff Vanderstelt and Caesar Kalinowski were actually saying. Jeff was preaching and he said the following:

When Jesus was at his baptism, the Spirit descended like a dove and God said, “This is my Son with whom I am well pleased.” Do you know that if you trust in the works of Jesus that God says the same thing about you because of his Son?!  God is well pleased with you! Not because of anything you have done or will do but because of Jesus. You can do nothing to gain his acceptance. You can do nothing to please him any more. You can do nothing so that the Father will love you more. Jesus has done everything on your behalf so that you are accepted and loved.

When I heard this, the scales off my moralistic eyes were shattered. I was now starting to understand what God meant when he said his Spirit would replace our hearts of stone with hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 11:19).

It wasn’t just this one time but every week. The good news was being preached to my heart and to my wife’s heart. The gospel wasn’t just a term, but it was now good news. We saw that the gospel wasn't something that happened 2000 years ago. It is for us today. It gives us hope for tomorrow:

1. We have been saved from the penalty of sin (justification)
2. We are being saved from the power of sin (sanctification) and...
3. We will be saved from the presence of sin.

Our justification (by Christ) leads to our sanctification (by the Spirit). That’s glorification.

It is all by the work of God. It is nothing we do! This is good news. In Christ, the yoke of discipleship is easy. Support by the Spirit, the burden of missional living is light. I could do nothing for the rest of my life, and God would love me the same. This freedom gripped my heart and caused me to finally worship God in Spirit and truth (and stop worshiping myself).

Discipleship Models Collapse Without the Gospel

The “Why?” of changing from internal living to sacrificial living came about because the gospel was finally good news to my heart.  When this happened, my wife and I couldn’t resist… our natural reaction, our natural inclination, our natural conclusion was this: People need to hear and experience this gospel.

We had no idea where to start, so we went to my now close friend, Caesar Kalinowski, and asked him, “We want to make disciples of Jesus, how do we start?”

He said, “Go home and ask the Spirit, ‘What’s Next?' It’s his mission and it’s by his power, so he’ll let you know.”

The rest is history. (To get a better idea of where I’m coming from, you can read this article: A Story of Gospel Community.)

When we are so gripped by good news, we don’t need an evangelism class, we naturally desire to share it. The reason people don’t want to share the gospel is because it’s not good news to them. It’s not today’s news. It's like telling folks we landed on the moon, old hat, distant.

But, when you preach, teach, live, and disciple others how the gospel is good news for them today, they become instant evangelists.

Caesar didn’t give me some model to follow, some class to attend, or some pre-written conversation to follow. He, along with my brothers, gave me the gospel. The water that never runs dry. The bread of life. The Alpha and the Omega. When a thirty soul receives water, he’ll go and tell the other thirsty souls where to find life.

Here are some questions to consider asking yourself and of your community:

• Do you believe you were saved by God's work and not your own?
• Do you still believe you have to do more to be saved from God’s wrath and loved as God’s child?
• Do you work hard at religious activity to be accepted and loved by God?
• Do you work tirelessly at your job in order to gain significance and security?
• What happens when you disobey God? Do you live with guilt and shame? Do you beat yourself up endlessly?
• Or do you go to the cross and receive the grace of the gospel?
• How's your "yoke" feeling these days?

May we believe the wisdom of God when he says: My yoke is easy and my burden is light!

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Seth McBee is the adopted son of God, husband of one wife, and father of three. He’s a graduate of Seattle Pacific University with a finance degree. By trade Seth is an Investment Portfolio Manager, serving as president of McBee Advisors, Inc as well as a missional community leader, preaching elder with Soma Communities in Renton, Washington, and executive team member of the GCM Collective. Twitter @sdmcbee

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To go more in depth into the gospel centered life, read Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson. Now available in print.

For more free articles about missional living, read Mission is Where You Live by Jeremy Writebol and Revival: Ways & Means by Tim Keller.

Redeeming Worship

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. - Ephesians 5:15-21

When we gather as a church, we demonstrate our worship of God in a number of ways. Some of us worship through setting up for our gathering. Some of us worship by teaching in Kids Life. Some worship through playing music. Some worship through greeting visitors. In our missional communities, some of us worship by leading the discussion. Some worship by preparing food for the group. Some worship by coordinating our group’s service projects in the community. These are all great ways to demonstrate worship through gratefulness to God by serving one another.

In Ephesians 5, Paul specifically addresses our singing as a church. I want to reflect on why singing enables us to demonstrate worship through gratefulness to God and service to one another. Paul gives us three ways that we are to live out our worship through gratefulness and service to one another, addressing one another with songs, hymns, and spiritual songs; giving thanks to God; and serving one another. Another way we could look at these is: worship of God that results from the Gospel is expressed horizontally (to one another) and vertically (to God) as a redemption of our time together. Let's begin by looking at how we worship God through song.

Vertical

Singing is a gift God has given us to better know him and experience him. In Colossians 3:16, Paul tells the church to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another is psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” How does singing allow the Word of God to dwell in us richly? It allows us to express the truth of the Gospel and our grateful response to the Gospel in ways that are more emotive and meaningful than if we just said them. For example, in church we often sing hymns or spiritual songs. The song can be incredibly emotional. It is often a sort of battle cry of commitment to God for us to sing as a church. When I just recite the words to most hymns, it's not very inspiring. It sounds like I’m planning a carpool. The melody of the songs connect to what we are called to: following God on his mission, remembering what Christ has done, worshiping God. Songs allows us to express all these things in a way that is much more heartfelt.

The music also helps us remember God’s goodness and truth. Chances are you can recite the first verse of “Amazing Grace,” but if I asked you to recite the first four sentences of this article back to me, you couldn’t (even though this article is so much like poetry). Singing is a great way to learn the truth about God. What we sing gets stuck in our heads. What we sing works its way into our hearts. Like everything in life, music can either draw us into deeper fellowship with God or draw us away from him and toward our desires. That’s why - as worship leader - I strive so hard to only sing songs that accurately represent the truth and beauty of God. God has given us music to help us internalize and embody his truth. What we sing forms us as followers of God. In the early church, there was a heretic named Arius who taught that Christ had not existed eternally but had been created by God, and so was not equal to God.  And one of the ways he attempted to spread this very false doctrine was by writing catchy songs that contained his heretical theology. This worked for a time, until Ambrose of Milan countered by writing equally catchy songs that reflected the truth of God.

Music helps us remember and hold to the truth of God because our songs about God combine both the intellectual truth about God and our emotional response to those truths. Singing about God gets his truth stuck in our hearts, and as it dwells there richly, it draws us into deeper communion with him.

But many of us have a hard time with singing. We see the command to “make melody to the Lord with our hearts,” and it seems weird. “Making melody” is not an everyday occurrence for most of us. When your boss asks you why you took an extra fifteen minutes on your lunch break you never say “well I got caught up making melody in my heart”. You'd get some strange looks.  Men often have a hard time singing with the church. It is an act closely tied to emotions, and we are not known for being very good with those. Some of us are timid to sing with the church because we feel like our voices aren’t good enough. Maybe someone told us we weren’t good singers and now whenever we attempt to sing, all we can hear is that person’s voice in the back of our head telling us how bad we sound. But the Gospel frees us from all of these hang-ups.

Men, Jesus wept for you, he was in anguish for you so deep that he sweat blood. If Jesus is the ultimate man there is no shame in showing sorrow for your sin. Jesus has already cried harder than you ever will over your sin. But men, sorrow wasn’t the only emotion Jesus showed. He showed anger over injustice and the manipulation of the poor when he trashed the tables of the priestly charlatans in the temple. He showed joy as he raised his friend Lazarus from the dead. Men, the Gospel compels us to express these same emotions. We should rage at our sin. We should weep at the brokeness of our world. We should rejoice in the conquering of our sin by Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. And our singing is a great place to begin to express these Christ-like emotions. Our singing is a great place to express the worship of God.

For those of us who do not feel that we sing well enough, and so we sing quietly (if at all). The Gospel frees us from our fear as well. We sing because God has shown us favor in spite of our abilities. We don’t sing to earn God’s favor. Your ability to be pitch perfect cannot save you! Your voice cannot get up on a cross and die for you, and it cannot get out of the grave and conquer death for you. That has already been accomplished by Christ, and that is why you are called to sing! So don’t think that your voice needs to be good enough in order for you to sing with the church. None of our voices are good enough for God. Christ has been good enough for you, so sing out of joy for what he has done and who he is. We sing because we have been loved and served so perfectly in Christ. Singing is not about us.

One last thought on why some of us may struggle with singing. I live in the Live Music Capitol of the World, and here everyone is a musician. Everyone has an opinion. We are used to having whatever kind of music we prefer available to us. And here in Austin some of us pick what church we join based on the music. Some of us choose not to sing certain songs with the church because we don’t like that particular song.  I’ve been guilty of this. And I don’t think this practice is unique to Austin. When we decide what church family to be apart of based on our music preference, we place ourselves at the center of the gathering instead of God. We substitute our preferences as our motive for singing in place of worship of God. We are not the center of our singing. There is only one time a year when you are the center of the song, and that’s on your birthday. The Gospel frees us from this self serving mode of singing. Instead of trying to serve our musical needs and tastes, we sing because we have been loved and served so perfectly in Christ. Singing is not about us.

Horizontal

While singing is not about us and our individual tastes, it is about one another. In Ephesians 5 we are told to address one another with Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Again addressing one another with songs in person is not something we often do. When you meet a friend for coffee you don’t greet them by singing “Hey, we are getting coffee, and that is neat.” Yet the Gospel inspires us to encourage one another in song. Do you ever think of singing on Sunday that way? Do you ever think to yourself, “I’m going to sing this song not just because I need to hear it, but because other people need to hear it?”

Sadly many in the church don’t view our time together singing as a chance to serve one another. Often we view it as an “intimate” time between “me and Jesus.” We have the lights down low, our eyes closed, the music so loud we can’t hear our voices, and we don’t consider one another when we gather. And if we aren’t considering one another, if we aren’t listening to one another when we sing together, whats the point? Why not just put my headphones on and go sing in my closet? Parking would be easier.

To display the fullness of the gospel in worship, we need each other. We need the testimony and the encouragement of hearing one another sing the truth about God. We need to be formed by the Word of God dwelling richly in all of our hearts, and we need  to hear it from one another. We don’t gather because we need more music. We gather because we need more of Christ through one another. I know I can think of many times when I have been encouraged, convicted, and refreshed by singing with the church. We need each other when we sing.

When we view singing as an act of service to one another, we are given even more Gospel reasons to sing. Men, your wives and kids need to hear and see you sing. The need to see a leader who unashamedly embraces the truth and emotions the Gospel inspires. You are given an awesome opportunity to teach your family the Gospel in song. You are given an awesome opportunity to show your son what it looks like to feel powerfully about the Gospel. You are given an awesome opportunity to show your daughters that a godly man feels powerfully about the Gospel. So sing all the time, as weird as it may feel! Sing around the table, sing on the way to school. Take the opportunity to get the Gospel stuck in their heads and hearts. For those of us who don’t feel that we sing well enough, singing as an act of service frees us from the fear of what others will think about our voices. It frees us because we are no longer singing (or not singing) to gain the approval of people. We're singing to share the good news of the Gospel with one another. For those of us who struggle with singing based on our preferences, or base what church we join on our musical preferences, the Gospel frees us to worship God by serving others through our singing.

This is why we sing together, to worship God, and to serve one another. Singing is one of the ways we fulfill what Jesus called the greatest commandment: To love God and love your neighbor as yourself.

Redeeming the time

Finally, worshipful singing is one of the ways the church learns to “redeem the time.” Said another way, how we act as a family shapes how we act when we are out on our own. Think of a newly married couple. They have individually learned all sorts of habits, quirks and expectations from their families, and they bring those to their marriage. For example, in my marriage, my wife and I have conflict over the placement of the hand towel in our kitchen. In my wife’s family, they hung the towel over the handle of the oven. In my family, we hung the towel over the counter in front of the kitchen sink. My wife would really prefer it if I would hang the towel over the oven handle. I don’t have a preference, but because I am so used to doing it the way I did it growing up I cannot for the life of me remember to hang it on the oven.

There are millions of different ways we are formed by our biological families. In the same way, we are formed by how we act together as a church family. Singing out of gratefulness to God and in service of one another forms and trains us to live like Christ out in the world. It trains and forms us to worship God, to place him at the center of our lives, when we are apart. It builds us up through encouragement, it teaches us through the truth we sing, and it disciplines us for service by giving us ample opportunity to serve one another through song.

Worship is all because of what God has done for us in Christ. We are freed from sin by his life, death, and resurrection. This is what inspires our gratefulness. The Gospel of Christ frees us from our fear of man and releases us into serving one another. It frees us from our consumerism, because Christ rightly puts himself at the center of our gatherings and our lives. This is how worship redeems our time - because in our singing, in our gathering, in our service, in our work, in our marriages, in our families, in our hobbies, in our hopes, in our fears, and in our struggles God is at the center. Because of Christ we have a reason to celebrate. Because of Christ we have hope. Because of Christ we have life. Because of Christ we worship.

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Matt Oakes lives in Austin with his wife Joanie and two daughters, Isabella and Imogen. He serves as the Music and Arts Director at Austin City Life. He graduated from Corban University with a B.S. in Worship Arts and is currently working on an M.Div at Redeemer Seminary. He enjoys guitars, smoking meat, and loving the city with his church family. Twitter: @rubatomovement Blog: www.mattoakes.org

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For more reading on the significance of worship, check-out Winfield Bevin's A Beginnger's Guide to Family Worship.

For more free articles on worship, read: The Harmony of Community by Greg Willson & Seeking God's Vision for Marriage by Gloria Furman.

What to Do with Halloween?

For all the saints who from their labors rest,Who Thee by faith before the world confess, Thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest. Alleluia!

I am the proud dad of three little girls and recently they have been invited to several Halloween parties, not to mention their schools’ annual Halloween bash. So what are we as Christians to do with Halloween? I am not alone, many Christians are baffled.

Halloween's Roots

A good place to start is to take a look at the history of the holiday we commonly call Halloween. The modern celebration called Halloween is a yearly holiday observed by people around the world on October 31st. The origins of the holiday has a complex history that is rooted in paganism and Christianity. Its pre-Christian origins incorporated traditions from the pagan harvest festivals and festivals honoring the dead in Scotland and Ireland.

Halloween is also thought to have been heavily influenced by the Christian holy days called All Saints’ Day and All Souls Day. These holy days were a time for the church to honor the saints and pray for departed loved ones who had not yet reached Heaven. The earliest record of this holiday is in 837 when Pope Gregory IV ordered its church-wide observance. By the 12th century, it had become widely observed by Christians throughout Europe.

Over time, strange ideas and practices began to be connected with the holiday, such as ringing bells for souls in purgatory and wearing masks and costumes to disguise oneself. These practices eventually evolved into the modern-day Halloween activities that include trick-or-treating, wearing costumes, and attending costume parties.

Christian Responses

Not all Christians embraced this holiday. During the time of the Reformation, Halloween came under attack by Protestants who denounced purgatory as a “popish” doctrine. Puritans in New England were strongly opposed to the holiday and banned its practice in the new colonies. However, Halloween gradually made its way to North America through the mass Irish and Scottish immigration of the 19th century. It quickly took hold. By the 20th century it was celebrated across the United States by people from all backgrounds.

It is important to say that Christians' attitudes towards Halloween are very diverse and that we can and do disagree over what to do with Halloween. In some traditions such as the Anglican Church, Christians celebrate the All Hallow's Eve through special worship services that include prayer and fasting.

Many Protestant churches celebrate the holiday as Reformation Day, to remember the Protestant Reformation. Others celebrate with Harvest Festivals or Reformation Festivals, in which children dress up as Bible characters. Still other churches embrace the holiday by providing events such as Trunk-or-Treat where families can come and get candy in a safe, Christian atmosphere. Many Evangelical Christians reject the holiday because they feel it celebrates or embraces the occult and paganism.

What to Do with Halloween?

I may have explained a little bit about the history of Halloween, but you’re probably still wondering, "What should I do with Halloween?" Here are a few things to take into consideration as you discern how you, your family, and your church should handle Halloween.

1. Don’t be a Freak So many Christians are just downright freaks when it comes to Halloween. What I mean is they retreat from the world, lock their doors, turn off their lights, and get under the covers on Halloween night. Worse yet, they judge other people by whether or not they celebrate Halloween. I think some Christians can and do turn nonbelievers off by their attitudes about Halloween.
2. Be Missional I think Halloween is one of the best opportunities to be missional in the year? My family and I get together with some other families for a meal. Then we go through a small kid-friendly neighborhood together to collect candy. It is very innocent. Every year I have a chance to talk about Christ as we walk through the neighborhood. Don’t miss the moments and opportunities the Lord may be giving you to share and live out your faith.
3. Set Boundaries I am not advocating a wholesale celebration of Halloween. Much of it is dark and can introduce your children to the occult. I encourage you to use discernment, prayer, and set boundaries as needed. There are times when we can and should say no if it is going to compromise our faith in Christ. I can’t tell you what to do in every situation; how that plays out depends entirely on you and your context.
4. Talk to Your Children Tell your children about the history behind Halloween, and warn them about the dark side that can and does so often get associated with the holiday. Children are smart, and Halloween can be a teaching time to share with them and others the gospel of Christ.
5. Don’t Judge Others Lastly, don’t judge others when it comes to celebrating Halloween. Good Christians can and do disagree on this issue. Some Christians feel very strongly about not celebrating Halloween while others have no problem with it at all.  I believe that it is an open-handed issue, that each Christian must seek the Lord and obey his or her conscience. You have to decide what is right for you and your family when it comes to celebrating Halloween.

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Winfield Bevins serves as lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks , which he founded in 2005. He has a doctorate from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary  in Wake Forest, North Carolina. He lives in the beautiful beach community of the Outer Banks with his wife Kay and two daughters.

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For more free articles about missional living, see Mission: Suburbs by Casey Cease, and Satan in the Suburbs by Seth McBee.

Redeeming Fantasy Football

This next season it is estimated that some 30-45 million Americans will participate in a fantasy football league of some sort or another. Leagues are formed all over the country through work places, neighborhoods, and family gatherings to give sporting fans a competitive means to be involved in the sport itself. To the world, fantasy football has become a billion dollar idol in which many find identity, purpose, and mission. While some Christians may ignore this opportunity for community or reject fantasy sports altogether, fantasy football should not be dismissed as a pointless activity. With a mind and heart for the gospel, we can use the tool of fantasy sports as a missional activity for the sake of sharing the gospel with unbelievers. Here are a few ways we might go about that:

1. Participate in a league with unbelievers.

Often our tendency in thinking about activities such as fantasy sports is to compartmentalize who we participate with. How many churches have formed their own softball leagues (or play in church softball leagues) when the cities they inhabit already have leagues? Instead of being missionaries into those leagues, we build a Christianized version of the same thing and insulate ourselves from the lives of unbelievers.

Fantasy football is another opportunity for us to think about gospel-intentionality. Form up a league at your office or workplace where you can spend time with your coworkers (off the clock of course) building relationships and developing a deeper understanding of their lives.

 2. Be present at the draft and other activities that involve your league.

Don’t be the guy who allows the computer to draft the team. Show up at the draft party and spend time beyond picking a team to really get to know the members of your league. If you are new to these people find out a little bit more about them such as their vocation, family status, where they live, and other important relational information. Do everything you can to be friendly and interested in their lives. Show up early for the party and stay late.

One of the ways that Christians demonstrate the goodness of the gospel is by being present in the lives of unbelievers. We show them the God who “dwells with us” (John 1:14) by being with them in the ordinary activities of their lives. Offer to meet with the other league members on Sunday afternoons or for Monday Night Football to watch the game and share life with the other members of your league. Find ways to get to know them better so you can naturally share the gospel with them.

3. Host the draft party or game party yourself.

One of the clear marks of the gospel’s impact in the life of a believer is the demonstration of hospitality (Hebrews 13:2). Instead of having the draft at a local restaurant or sports bar, invite the members of your league over and throw the party at your home. Provide plenty of food, drinks, and comfortable places for the members of your league to enjoy one another and the process of drafting a team.

As a way of showing the gospel, don’t go cheap on the food and drinks, either. Provide the best. Invite your community group to throw an amazing draft party for the members of your league, and involve your Christian community with the overall activity of the league itself.  These acts of kindness will only further adorn the gospel of grace (2 Peter 2:12). Additionally, invite members of the league over to your home to watch the games and participate in the weekly rhythms of the football season.

The more hospitality and generosity we show toward unbelievers the more we receive opportunities to share the hope that we have in Jesus. As you establish these rhythms and patterns, invite league participants into your regular community group to see Christian community lived out.

4. Don’t cheat or be dishonest with league members.

Nothing hinders the display of the gospel more than someone who isn’t trustworthy and honest. Proverbs 12:26 tells us that “one who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Jesus himself is “full of grace and truth.”

One of the temptations in fantasy sports is to manipulate and/or cheat fellow owners through transactions and trade offers that are one-sided and sneaky. Like anything remotely competitive, the desire to win is a strong impulse, but this impulse does not give us permission to be dishonest or underhanded with fellow league members.

Make trades that are fair to both sides. Don’t withhold information (such as player injuries) that would get you ahead in a trade or transaction but would leave your fellow league members in worse shape. Use every opportunity to be honest, fair and respectable towards the members of your league. This includes being an active participant the entire season, even if you haven’t won a game and have no hope of making the playoffs. An active, honest, fair, competitive league member will be one that gains respect among the league and opens doors for the gospel to be shared (Titus 2:10).

5. Pray for the members of your league.

While fantasy football in and of itself is enjoyable, it is not an ultimate thing. Winning the league championship or making a deep run in the playoffs certainly makes it more fun, but our goal isn’t to ultimately be kings of the fantasy sports world. Our goal is to build relationships in which we can live with gospel-intentionality.

Furthermore, the reception and transformation that the gospel brings is something we cannot do through physical means. Gospel transformed lives are the result of the work of the Holy Spirit in an individual’s life. To this end, we should pray for the unbelievers we are in relationship with. Paul urged Timothy to pray for people so that the gospel would advance (2 Timothy 2:1-3).

I know it is not the most natural thing in the world to pray for our opponents in fantasy sports, but if we look at fantasy football as the entry point in which we gain access to the lives of unbelievers for the sake of the gospel, we can see that it would be foolish not to pray for them.

6. Clearly, boldly talk about the gospel with the members of your league.

I’m not talking about some sort of cheesy or unnatural talk that sounds like, “My QB scored a touchdown and saved my season, but he’s nothing compared to Jesus who died and saved my life.” I’m talking about moving beyond the sport and talking with your league members about what really matters.

Take a member out to lunch or invite them over to dinner. Spend some serious time with them and lay out your life before them. Let them know that you gather with others on Sunday mornings to worship Jesus and then hang out with friends (like them) to share life and the gospel of Jesus. Invest in their lives beyond fantasy sports and look for ways to meet needs, share life, and live the gospel before them as well as clearly speaking the gospel to them.

If we focus on being intentional with the gospel, we can use leisurely and fun things like fantasy football - which the world idolizes - to be missional tools for us in building relationships for advancing the gospel. My hope is this season that fantasy football won’t be a consuming time idol of sports but a means by which Jesus is introduced into the lives of many who don’t know him.

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Jeremy Writebol is a Christian who has played fantasy football for almost 20 years. He is the husband of Stephanie, daddy of Allison and Ethan, and lives and works in Wichita, KS as the Community Pastor at Journey the Way. He is the director of Porterbrook Kansas and writes at jwritebol.net.

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For more resources on how to share the gospel authentically, check out Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson.

For more free articles on making the gospel part of your everyday life, read: The Neighborhood Missions Startup by Seth McBee, Messy Discipleship by Jake Chambers, and Plant the Gospel, Plant Churches by Tony Merida.