What Is That to You?
I headed overseas feeling privileged to follow Jesus by bringing his Word to those who still didn’t have it. But somewhere along the way, I became conscious of the fact God wasn’t treating me exactly the same way he was treating others who were in the same country for similar reasons, and it chafed. He gave some of my fellow missionaries free trips to Europe, others trips home every summer, and still others a steady supply of chocolate chips through visiting short-terms teams. I shifted from thinking myself honored to work for Jesus to thinking myself cheated of wages simply by focusing on other people rather than on him.
I think Peter could relate to my temptation. Jesus had just prophesied Peter’s death, and it sounded pretty ominous: “another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go” (John 21:18b). Worse yet, Peter looked over his shoulder to see that John was following them, but Jesus didn’t foretell John’s death. Noticing the omission, Peter asked, “Lord, what about this man?” (John 21:21).
Rather than assuring Peter he had plenty of suffering in store for John too, Jesus said, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:22). Thankfully, this came fresh on the heels of Jesus assuring Peter that he forgave him for betraying him when he was arrested. With that in mind, Peter had a renewed sense of the privilege of walking with Jesus no matter the cost.
Do you sometimes find yourself looking over your shoulder, distracted by God’s plans for someone else? Is there a John in your life whose presence gives you a sense that you’re in competition for Jesus’s favor? Don’t forfeit the joy of following Jesus by trying to gauge his happiness with you based on how your path looks compared to someone else’s.
There are several reasons I think we can be tempted to look over our shoulders. First, we make a false correlation between God’s favor and his good gifts and also between God’s anger and suffering. Second, we envy others when we think they’re better than us. Third, competitive people try to distract us. And finally, we are working for wages rather than undeserved merit.
God created good work for each of us in advance (Eph. 2:10). Along with our unique roles come unique joys and sorrows, and it would be wrong to compare them to others’ as a way to determine our place in Jesus’s kingdom. It’s true I had less riches and more suffering than some of my fellow missionaries. But I also had more riches and less suffering than many of my neighbors. We cannot gauge other people’s righteousness or God’s favor by external comparisons. We know that sometimes the wicked prosper (Ps. 73:3) and the righteous can expect to suffer as Jesus did (Matt. 16:24).
Sometimes other people are receiving the natural rewards of living in obedience. Cain was angry that God preferred Abel’s sacrifice, but God told him, “If you do well, will you not be accepted?” (Gen. 4:7a) When it looks like someone else is surpassing me in an area of life, I ask God to show me if there are things I need to learn from the way that person is living. Perhaps they’re living in obedience in a way I’m not. Even then, the answer to my problem is not to focus on that person. If I need to grow in obedience, the best way to do that is to behold Jesus, so I can become like him.
Other times, people are trying to make us look at them. They want us to see how well things are going for them and to believe they are better than us. That’s okay. We can have the mindset of Christ (Phil. 2:6). He was better than every other human in all of history, but he didn’t demand better treatment. We can let other people believe they’re better than us (Phil. 2:3). In our case, they might be right. We’re not perfect. The great news is that no matter where we rank, we’ve been invited to follow Jesus!
When John’s disciples complained to him that Jesus was also baptizing and everyone was going to him, John replied, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. . . . He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:27, 30). We can only receive work given to us by God. The nature and scope of our influence are chosen by him. The unique joys and griefs of our path are ordained by him. How freeing would it be to not worry about how the scope of our influence compares to someone else’s, but to instead entrust it to God?
I didn’t go to the mission field in hopes of getting a vacation to Europe, frequent trips home, or a steady supply of chocolate chips (though I must say, God has since given me all of these). I went because I was grateful for my salvation and I delighted in my savior. I wanted others to experience the joy I had in Jesus. My discontent about the disparity between my “pay” and that of my fellow missionaries showed me that my heart had shifted. I was valuing the wages of working for Jesus more than Jesus himself, so when my wages seemed smaller than someone else’s, it didn’t feel worth the cost to keep working.
When the prodigal son’s older brother asked the father why he was never given a fattened calf, the father reminded him that he was always with him (Luke 15:31). The older son wanted the father’s gifts more than he wanted the father himself, just like the prodigal. And isn’t that what I do when I pity myself because God is being generous to his other children? I say this to my shame.
Whether we are the ones inclined to compare and compete or there is someone in our lives who seems determined to frame everything as a competition, what is that to us? We must follow Jesus.
Often the question, “What about him?” is asked when we believe we’re receiving less than or worse than someone else. But how often do we wonder the same thing when we are the recipients of more than we deserve? All of us who have been called to follow Jesus have riches we didn’t earn. We are not walking in darkness. We are not alone. We will not bear the weight of our own sins or the wrath of God on the day of Judgment.
Whatever God’s plan for us, and however it might compare to his plans for others, we only forfeit our own joy and peace when we keep looking over our shoulder, concerned about the fairness of what he has planned for someone else. And while Peter may have been foolish to wonder how John’s future suffering compared to his own, he also wisely said, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). What is that to us? Everything.
Heidi Kellogg lives with her husband, Andy, and their three children near Orlando, Florida. They are members of a Bible translation organization, and they lived in West Africa for several years where Andy was a Bible Translation Consultant. Heidi received her BA in English from Cal State L.A. and attended RTS Orlando’s classes called “Teaching Women to Teach.” She home schools her children, leads book and Bible studies for the ladies of her church, disciples younger women, and recently started creating Oral Bible Translation resources. Heidi and Andy have been members of Grace Community Church, Saint Cloud, for nearly twenty years. She will watch almost any movie that takes place in another country. Subtitles? Yes, please. You can follow Heidi on Instagram @heidilouwho_writer.