The Comfort of Surrender

I sat alone in the psychiatric hospital, sad and discouraged. After a shocking family loss, I was devastated and struggling with my mental health. I didn’t know when I’d get discharged or what the future would hold. 

This was particularly challenging. As a Type A, firstborn girl, I loved being in control. My calendar was color-coded, and I wasn’t very flexible with changes. I wouldn’t call myself a control freak, of course; I used softer words like organized or well-prepared. 

But spending time in that hospital made me rethink my priorities. Being out of control was uncomfortable and scary. I had no calendar or cellphone to keep me on track for the week. 

Yet during that time, the Lord taught me an important lesson.

The Illusion of Control

I struggled with control because I wanted to manage every detail. If something was unplanned, I worried. Yet Jesus commands us to “not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matt. 6:34).

This was hard to put into practice. 

At the hospital, the only activities we had were mealtimes, rehab, and sporadic visits with case workers. Although I didn’t have my calendar, I knew I was missing personal events, and without my cellphone, I couldn’t keep my mind busy. 

One morning I walked through the halls, peering through various rooms. I noticed a small library and picked out a blue NASB Bible. Although everything around me was uncertain, I knew God’s Word would provide comfort. 

Demonstrating Self-Control

When I think about what it means to be in control, I’m reminded of Joseph’s story. Despite being sold into slavery and imprisoned, Joseph surrendered control to God. In Genesis 43, we read that Joseph was overwhelmed by emotion after seeing his brother Benjamin after many years. Instead of lashing out in anger, however, he controlled himself (vv. 31–32).

Later, in Genesis 45:1, Joseph struggled to control himself when he saw all his brothers, who had mistreated him. Although Joseph did express his emotions, he also treated his brothers with kindness. This was a tense moment with others standing by, so he asked everyone to leave and wept so loudly that the Egyptians and the household of Pharaoh heard his cries.

As a powerful ruler, Joseph could have handled the situation with his brothers differently. Often, when there is something wrong, we want to get angry and lash out at others. Joseph did the opposite. He told them not to be grieved or angry, then pointed to the sovereignty and plan of God, which preserved his life (Gen. 45:5). When unfavorable circumstances arise in our lives, we can give our emotions to God and treat others, even unkind people, with self-control. Joseph later led Egypt safely through the seven-year famine, ultimately saving both his family and the nation. No matter how challenging our circumstances may seem, God is in control.

Joseph’s actions were in sharp contrast to those of others around him. His brothers lacked self-control and threw Joseph into a pit to satisfy their own desires. Potiphar’s wife couldn’t control her sexual urges and made inappropriate advances toward Joseph. We can learn from this example and trust God with the unfortunate events in our lives. Even bad situations can be redeemed to encourage others.

Looking Outwards 

During my stay, I was so consumed by my worries that I didn’t notice the needs of others. But towards the end of my visit, I looked around and saw many hurting people. One morning, I noticed an older woman sitting alone in a chair and slowly approached her.

“Hi, what’s your name?” 

She looked up with sunken eyes.

“Christine.”

She nodded her head and went on to describe her situation. She frantically asked me for help with the phone and contacting her family. When she got really distressed, I sat down next to her, looked her in the eyes, and assured her everything would be okay. When she asked me to pray for her, I put my hand on her shoulder and slowly prayed for her health. 

We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control our response. We can cry out to the Lord and point others to Jesus, knowing we don’t have to worry about tomorrow because he is in control.

Don’t Boast in Tomorrow 

I don’t know whether or not I’ll land in a psychiatric hospital again. Yet there the Lord revealed his goodness to me and the trustworthiness of his character. 

Now that I’m home, I’m still learning the lesson of control. On this side of heaven, we don’t know what each day holds. I’m slowly learning to trust God with each day, hour, and moment. 

As I reflect on this visit, I can say God used it for good. Although it was a hard stay, I see how God continues to use difficult circumstances to bring us closer to him and encourage us to surrender control. We never know what another day may hold, and it’s unwise to boast about tomorrow.

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that’” (James 4:13–15).

Our lives are so short. Ultimately, each life is a mist that comes and goes. Instead of trusting in our own strength, we can trust God and his perfect will. So often I rely on myself and don’t ask for the Lord’s blessing and strength.

When I walked through those hospital halls, I was keenly aware of my needs. I needed food, medication, and counsel to stay stable. Yet God asks us to trust him in every area of our lives and not lean on our own understanding (Prov. 3:5–6). Will you surrender control to the Lord?

Consider 

What might it look like for you to surrender control? I appreciate Samantha Decker’s words from her book Unhurried:

“When we hand over the little control we think we have to an almighty God, we gain the freedom and the peace he intends for us” (148).

We can trust God to handle our problems. Like a patient trusts a doctor, we can trust God to provide spiritual comfort for our hearts.

As Jesus began his earthly ministry, he repeatedly demonstrated he was in control, and we can still trust his sovereignty today. We can trust him when we hear the birds chirping in the distance or the flowers dancing in the wind (Matt. 6:26, 28).

There is comfort in knowing that Jesus did not simply offer his Word, but he came down in the flesh and experienced hardship and pain, too. He faced waves of emotions yet was always in control.

What does this look like for us? Surrender is a heart posture that recognizes God’s sovereign hand in everything—whether we’re like Joseph, standing in a courtroom overwhelmed by emotion, or lying in a hospital bed alone and afraid. For me, surrender comes from recognizing I’m not all-powerful, knowing, or sovereign, and this compels me to offer everything I have—my schedule, plans, and expectations—with open hands.

We can trust God to write our story, as we live each day in submission to his perfect will. When we’re worried, may we look out and remember the birds and the flowers, tangible reminders that though we don’t have control over tomorrow, God does.