How God Used Suffering to Teach Me It’s a Blessing to Give and Receive
“At times you are the ones who can give,” the discharge nurse spoke gently, kindness in her eyes, “and sometimes there are seasons where you have to learn to be a gracious receiver.”
In her hand, she held an ominous pile of paperwork to go over with me. My mom was there, in room 921, the “home” I had occupied with my eight-year-old daughter for the past ten days. Mom nodded fervently as the nurse softly reminded me that we had been thrust into a season of our lives where we would need to receive gifts from others, rather than being the givers as we often preferred.
Our oldest daughter had just been diagnosed with leukemia. Treatment began immediately, and a whirlwind of new “normal” threatened to overwhelm my head and my heart as we were being discharged from our extended hospital stay.
Even as I blankly nodded along with the nurse, I thought, I’d rather be the giver.
It Wasn’t Always This Way
We all like to receive gifts. My kids certainly do! They begin counting the days to their birthday when the number is still in the triple digits. They are giddy with the idea that there will be gifts—likely several—all for them! There is nothing wrong with this excitement, in fact, we should channel that feeling as a catalyst for our desire to give!
I was raised in a home where tithing was important. It was modeled for me on a weekly basis, as I observed my parents faithfully giving in church. However, in my mind, it was simply a mathematical equation that was calculated in effort to fulfill foundational biblical teaching.
Tithing is a necessary practice for living a Christian life, however tithing in a mathematical sense is only the tip of the iceberg. My understanding of giving pretty much stopped after the obligatory weekly tithe, apart from a birthday here and there.
My conviction about giving has evolved over many years. It has been influenced by being on the receiving end of others’ generosity, and recognizing the sacrifices others were making for me. Some people lovingly and creatively blessed us, and it gave me practical ideas for how to share with others when I was able.
Two days after my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, I briefly came home to pack more things for the “long haul” at the hospital and found my friend in my kitchen. She was tidying up, emptying the dishwasher, and hauling freshly made strawberry jam to my freezer. She was gifting me with her presence and her time. She knew I would come home and see those things needed to be done, so she came and did them for me. Her presence gave us a few private moments outside of the hospital to talk about the fresh trial that had bombarded our family. And let me tell you, moments like that with a dear friend are a precious blessing!
As my eyes opened to the idea that giving was much more than bringing money to church on Sundays, my heart has postured toward seeing needs in places I had previously overlooked.
Christianity Began This Way
Scripture reminds us that we brought nothing to salvation. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8–9). Even the faith we need to trust in the Lord is given to us by him. We are receivers from the very beginning of our Christian journey. How offensive would it be for us to say “let us help” with our own salvation, insinuating that Jesus’ death on the cross wasn’t quite enough?
We must set aside our pride when we receive the ultimate gift, knowing there is nothing we can do to earn our salvation. Similarly, as we find ourselves in seasons of life where we are the receiver, we need to humbly say “thank you,” and allow the other person to be blessed in their generosity toward us.
Throughout our daughter’s cancer treatment, we received countless gifts from others. While sometimes we didn’t feel like we “needed” them, we were touched and grateful for the senders, knowing they were heeding a prompting from the Lord to love our family.
More Than “Just” Tithing
There are other times in our lives when the need is urgent. Our family experienced this in the middle of the night, five years ago. The day our home burned to the ground. While we weren’t stripped of our bank accounts and “net worth” that night, we were stripped of our material belongings. Including the clothing we would have worn the next morning, had our home not burned. We found ourselves accepting clothing donations just hours after the fire, simply so we could have something decent to wear to get to the store and purchase important items for our large family.
Friends who were going out of town handed over the keys to their house and told us to move in (all nine of us) while we searched for temporary housing. Meals were provided for us every day for an entire month after the fire. An army made up of church family and friends came over to tackle a major project that was necessary for our temporary housing.
This is a spirit of giving. This is more than tithing. And giving means much more than writing checks. These people were willing to give of things that sometimes are more precious than money. Their time. Their home. And most obvious—their love.
It blew us away! We never would have chosen a season like that for ourselves. We were so helpless that we were borrowing the very roof over our head, but the Lord put us there to teach us something. Several important lessons were learned during this challenging time:
It is humbling to receive—day after day—the kindness of others.
When you give, give freely of all your resources, because every single one is a gift from the Lord.
As we humbly receive, we learn to joyfully give.
God’s Gifts to Share
It is paramount that we acknowledge everything we have is a gift from God. The job we hold, the home we live in, the money in our bank account, and even our able bodies. They are all given to us by a gracious God.
He did not prosper us in this way so we could clutch tightly to the things we have, selfishly wanting more, unwilling to share. He has lavished us abundantly so we can bless others. You may think, “I don’t have much. My bank account is not robust, how could I really give?”
The believers in Macedonia were giving generously, with some giving beyond their means. Paul tells us that “they gave according to their means . . . and beyond their means, of their own accord” (2 Cor. 8:3 emphasis added). I have no doubt that the Lord honored this sacrificial giving, and it is recorded as an encouragement for us to follow suit.
Tithing on Sunday morning is one way to give, but it is just the beginning. Dig deep into your resources and don’t be stingy with your time, your abilities, your possessions, or your talents. There is abundant joy waiting for you as you give—or graciously receive.