How Grace Enables Self-Control

Grace is instrumental in salvation. It also spurs us to righteous behavior. Scripture tells us that it is “the grace of God” that “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives” (Tit. 2:11–12). The idea that grace teaches self-control can seem a bit surprising. After all, if I’m freely forgiven of my sins by the grace of God, why resist sin? If there’s always more forgiveness on tap, why strive after righteousness?

The apostle Paul anticipated this reaction—“Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?”—and immediately shot it down: “By no means!” he wrote. “We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Rom. 6:1–2) To Paul, the idea that we should keep sinning because of grace was silly, absurd, the equivalent of Bill Gates knocking off a 7-Eleven. Instead, forgiveness lays the groundwork for transformation.

THE POWERFUL PROSPECT OF FORGIVENESS

In high school I had a close friend who described himself as an atheist. When he told me he didn’t believe in God, I could only think of one biblical rejoinder: “The fool says in his heart ‘There is no God’” (Ps. 14:1). Since he was a lot stronger than me, and liked to fight, I kept the verse to myself.

I tried talking to him about my faith, but nothing seemed to get through to him. Nothing except for this: I described to him, as best I could, the experience of forgiveness. “There’s nothing like coming to God with all the bad things you’ve done and asking for Him to cleanse you,” I told him. “It’s like taking a shower after being dirty for a long time. You feel completely new, totally clean.”

He was silent.

“Hey, man. I don’t mean to preach at you,” I said.

“That doesn’t sound like preaching,” he replied looking off at something. “It doesn’t sound like preaching at all.”

I wasn’t much of an evangelist, but I got one thing right. There’s something powerful about the prospect of forgiveness, of being made clean. As the Presbyterian minister Henry Van Dyke said, “For love is but the heart’s immortal thirst to be completely known and all forgiven.” When you feel that forgiveness, the last thing you want to do is rush out and start sinning.

THE BEAUTY OF A BLANK SLATE

In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul gives a long list of “wrongdoers” who will not inherit the kingdom of God. The list includes some pretty despicable characters, including swindlers, drunks, thieves, and adulterers.

But before his readers could feel too superior, he added these words, “ . . . and that is what some of you were.” Those descriptions only applied to his readers in the past tense. Something had changed: “you were washed, you were sanctified” (6:11), Paul reminded them. In other words, because of the fact that they’d been forgiven, they had entered a whole new way of living.

The next verses unpack how “washed” people are to live, by “not [being] mastered by anything” and living free from sexual immorality. Holiness flows from forgiveness.

It’s a spiritual principle, and a psychological one. Researchers talk about the benefits of the “fresh start effect.” Basically it means that when we feel like we’ve been given a clean slate, our behavior improves.

That helps explain why people who use “temporal landmarks” like birthdays, the beginning of a new year, or even the beginning of the week to start pursuing a new goal make greater progress. They feel like they’ve been given a new start and they don’t want to mess it up. According to Francesca Gino, a behavioral scientist, “We feel more motivated and empowered to work hard toward reaching our goals when we feel like our past failures are behind us.”

That’s good news for Christians. We get the ultimate blank slate when we place our faith in Christ. Then we receive that blank slate over and over again. First when we come to Christ and receive a whole new life (2 Cor. 5:17), and then repeatedly as we repent of our sins and ask God for forgiveness (1 John 1:9).

FALSE STARTS AND FRESH STARTS

Unfortunately, we don’t always take advantage of this blank slate. Or at least I don’t. When I mess up, I’m reluctant to confess my sins and ask God for forgiveness. Not only that, but I start avoiding my Bible and stop praying. In order words, I start avoiding God (as if I could).

I realize this makes no sense. I know God loves me unconditionally. But because of my actions, suddenly I feel like we’re not on talking terms. This strange avoidance behavior is always a mistake. When I fail to confess my sins, I’m more likely to sin again. What’s one more sin, I think. I’m already messing up.

Researchers have a name for this phenomenon too. They call it the “What-The-Hell Effect.” Basically, it means that after messing up, we tend to mess up even more. It was coined by dieting researchers who noticed that when their subjects had even small indiscretions (a bite of ice cream or one slice of pizza) it was followed by a full-on binge. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal explains this thinking behind this behavior.

Giving in makes you feel bad about yourself, which motivates you to do something to feel better. And what’s the cheapest, fastest strategy for feeling better? Often the very thing you feel bad about. . . . It’s not the first giving-in that guarantees the bigger relapse. It’s the feelings of shame, guilt, loss of control and loss of hope that follow the first relapse.10

BREAK THE CIRCLE OF SIN

I’m convinced this dynamic plagues my spiritual life as well. When I sin, the shame and guilt drive me away from God. I feel bad about myself, and in a cruel irony, I engage in more of the sin that made me feel bad in the first place.

When I confess my sins, the circle stops. I feel like I’ve hit the refresh button on my spiritual life. Suddenly I’m motivated to resist sin and pursue holiness. Wallowing in my guilt merely makes me sin more. Confession gives me a fresh start and I don’t want to mess it up.

It can be natural to think that feeling really bad about yourself is the way to improve your behavior. But piling on guilt is never the answer. It’s to keep diving back into grace.

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Taken from Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck (©2019). Published by Moody Publishers. Used by permission.

Drew Dyck (M.A. in Theology) is an editor at Moody Publishers and the former managing editor of Leadership Journal. His work has been featured in USA Today, the Huffington Post, Christianity Today, and CNN.com. Drew is the author of Generation Ex-Christian and Yawning at Tigers. He lives with his wife Grace and their three children near Portland, Oregon. Connect with Drew at www.DrewDyck.com or follow him on Twitter @DrewDyck.

Self-Justifying Prayer

Constant and Considerate

After discussing the value of prayer in discipleship in Luke 18:1-8, you would think the subject would be closed. But I do not think it was for Jesus. The concept of the downtrodden and prayerful faithfulness permeates the rest of Luke 18 and it is right after teaching to “pray always” that Jesus presents one of his more famous parables,

“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” (Lk. 18:10-13).

This is a familiar passage to many. And often prayer’s crucial role in the narrative is neglected. But in context it makes sense that the prayers of the parable are worth studying. The lessons learned are not that unlike the parable of the widow but before a new aspect of importance is added. For, Jesus spoke the parable against those “who trusted in themselves” (18:9). But more importantly they were also people who “treated others with contempt.” Ultimately this is always true. Those that trust their works, theology, and experience of God more than a godly humility mistreat the downtrodden. Christian prayer and discipleship must be constant and considerate, as we shall see from this parable. And with this in mind, Jesus proceeds to contrast sharp distinctions within prayer.

Both men went up to the temple (18:10). Let me put it in modern language: they were members of the same church. One was of good standing in the church and the other the type of person that people don’t usually like. But both were together in the same building.

This makes it interesting then that the Pharisee is said to have stood “by himself” (18:11). As his prayer affirms, when it comes to God this guy is in it for himself. He is willing to praise God (All thanks goes to God!). In fact he praises God for all the good that he does. And he does a lot. He abides by the law. He goes beyond the law (his fasting). And he does not keep anything back from God (his tithe).

Self-Justifying Prayer

What then was he guilty of? Jesus tells us at the start of the parable: he trusted himself and had contempt for others. He stands by himself. He is thankful for himself. And none of his works are focused on others. His prayer is both self-focused and degrading to those who are not on his level.

In contrast, the tax collector (who is also by himself) could not lift up his eyes to God. He too prays in a self-focused manner. There is no thankfulness in his voice. He does not trust in himself. He does not degrade others. He lacks any semblance of pride. But he is the one who went home “justified” (18:14). It would be inappropriate to presume that Jesus is here referring solely to the type of soteriological justification that systematic theology is concerned with. Though it is included—it can also indicate that the worship of the man was accepted before God.

And it is this element that I’d like to stress. For the second sin in Scripture was over denigrating a brother’s acceptance before God (Gen 4) and Christ taught the failure of any worship done while there is strife before brothers (Matt 5:24). Christian discipleship and  prayer can never turn in trusting in “us” (whether our theology or works) and denigrating our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Prayer as Essential to Christian Discipleship

Since prayer is essential to Christian discipleship, we should learn from this how it gets abused. For in advancement of discipleship there begins anew the opportunity to say “God, I thank you that I am not like …”

• Those who don’t study and memorize the Scriptures.
• Those who miss church service.
• Those who don’t read as many theology books.
• Those who don’t pray often.
• Those who don’t catechize their children.
• Those who don’t attend Bible Studies.

For each Sunday the Christian disciple gets to determine if they will go home justified in their worship before God. And it will be the one who returns to the realization that they have only accomplished what they should have done (Lk 17:10) that will go home justified. But if we proceed in a spirit of demeaning contempt for our brothers then we must repent of our “discipleship.”

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Joshua Torrey is a New Mexico boy in an Austin, TX world. He is husband to Alaina and father to Kenzie & Judah and spends his free time studying for the edification of his household. These studies include the intricacies of hockey, football, curling, beer, and theology. You can follow him @benNuwn and read his theological musings and running commentary of the Scriptures at The Torrey Gazette.