When Your Prayers Lack Words
I must admit it borders on a miracle that you’re reading this at all.
One of the everlasting challenges I face as a writer is getting any words out. My mind teems with incomplete thoughts and bubbles over with sentiments all day. But turning those into materialized words can be a challenge.
I dread to discover how much time I have spent staring at a digital white canvas, watching a cursor blink as if it were tapping its foot in impatience at me. Of course, writing this piece was no different. But I suppose this paragraph can serve as the introduction I was looking for.
Whether writers or not, Christians often experience a similar blank state in prayer. Replace the blinking cursor with the faint ticking of a clock in the room, the seconds cranked out with machine-like ease. There you sit, clammed up with a ball of knotted emotions, bowed before "the God feared above all gods" (Ps. 96:4).
NOT PRAYING AS WE OUGHT
Paul knows this experience is normal, for he writes, “We do not know what to pray for as we ought” (Rom. 8:26). He doesn’t excuse prayerlessness (hence, “as we ought”) but he does acknowledge the reality we face. There are several reasons we may go mute before the Lord, whether shame, confusion, discouragement, skepticism, lament, complacency, fear, anger, distress, or weakness. The list goes on.
Prayerlessness feels like wanting to cry while the tears somehow fail to flow; we want to cry out to God, yet the words escape us.
In many moments of life, prayer seems to be all we have, as if our very lives depend on one. The prospect, then, of not being able to muster up the words to fill in the blank space can plunge us into despair. Sometimes we draw near to the throne of grace lacking confidence (Heb. 4:16).
So, now what?
GOD’S WORK WITHOUT OUR WORDS
When we find ourselves without words to pray, we are not at a dead end. There is comfort for a tongue-tied prayer life when we look to who God is. Our prayer life may ebb and flow, but the One to whom we pray is immutable. God is powerfully present at all times, even when the words of our prayers are not. In fact, the fullness of the Trinity is actively engaged in helping us along the way. A few reminders from Scripture are worth considering:
The Father knows before us. Psalm 139 is a stunning reminder of the intimacy we share with the Father. Verse 4 is especially noteworthy: "Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.” Soaking in this truth can keep us from despair when we have few words to offer. Our mess of tangled emotions and scattered thoughts are completely known before we can so much as vocalize them.
The Son intercedes for us. Not only do we rejoice in a risen Christ who "continues forever" (Heb. 7:24), but we draw comfort from Christ's present work for us: "he always lives to make intercession for [us]” (Heb. 7:25). Right now, on our behalf, stands One who brings our requests to the Father. It’s not as if we must speak to ever be heard. Indeed, we are spoken for.
The Spirit groans with us. The Holy Spirit’s very responsibility is to be our Helper (Jn. 14:26). Paul confirms this in Romans 8:26: “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” These groanings of the Spirit parallel our own inward groaning (Rom. 8:23). The Spirit does not give up on us when we are without words. He is there in the wordlessness, groaning with us
GOD’S WORD AS OUR WORDS
Because God is at work when we fail to find words, we can take heart. But it also seems obvious that God still wants to hear our prayers come before him (2 Chr. 7:14; John 16:24; Phil. 4:6–7; Jam. 1:5-8, 4:2). How do we bridge the gap? Turning to two texts in the Bible, we see how simple it can be.
The Lord’s Prayer
It’s worth noticing that when the disciples ask Jesus for education in the ways of prayer, he does not give them a lecture on proper technique but instead gives them words (Luke 11:1–4). Pause and consider that for a moment. Here, Jesus institutes a prayer for his people that they may always turn to, confident of its adequacy before their King.
Dear Christian, if you find yourself mute and not sure what to say, rest in this reality: The Word came to give us words! He will not be more inclined to us for our being verbose or creative. The time-tested ancient words in the Lord’s Prayer carry equal weight. John Calvin saw the Lord’s Prayer as a plumb line to which we should measure the rest of our prayer life. Yet we can trust that even these words are enough in and of themselves.
When we say the Lord’s Prayer, we run the whole gamut of how to pray. We weave together a prayer of adoration to confession to thanksgiving to supplication. We pray for provision and protection, but we also remember to praise and proclaim. The Lord’s Prayer keeps our prayers from getting out of balance.
The Psalms
The Psalms are another collection of words we can lean on when we find ourselves coming up empty. God does not despise our silence. He rather takes delight in a humbled and quieted soul, and he offers it the nourishment needed to grow (Ps. 131:2). Praying the Psalms proves to be a rich resource offered to the Christian life.
Athanasius reminds us that the Psalms speak for us, whereas most Scriptures speak to us. In his “Letter to Marcellinus,” Athanasius writes, “In [the Psalms], the words you want are written down for you, and you can say them as your own.”[1] This divinely inspired prayer book, embedded in God’s revealed Word, is ripe for the taking in our own prayers. Christ’s Church has centered her prayer life around these psalms for thousands of years. We cannot overstate their importance for our spiritual vitality.
When we don’t know what to pray, sometimes the solution is as simple as reciting these songs and meditating on their truths. Here is an easy method: Apart from your normal Bible reading, read one psalm a day. Or read one psalm in the morning and another psalm at night. Pray these psalms. Make them your own.
There are many methods and resources to help you pray the Psalms, but Eugene Peterson has the best advice of all, in five simple words: "Nothing fancy. Just do it.”[2]
I would encourage you to take Peterson’s advice, and then watch for what God will do. David writes in Psalm 5, “O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch (v. 3). The more I have leaned into this “nothing-fancy” mentality, the more I have seen the Psalms read through me instead of me reading through the Psalms.
PRAY UNTIL YOU PRAY
Another great lesson I’ve learned came from the Puritans who advise us to “pray until you pray."[3] Many times we never get to the “meat" of prayer because we stop ourselves short. We give ourselves a three-minute limit. Or we get interrupted by distractions and go down the rabbit hole. Or we don’t know what exactly to pray for. But Carson advises, “pray until you pray.” Work through all formalities, distractions, and rabbit trails and keep going. In time, you’ll realize you are actually praying after all.
Remember, the Godhead is at work in our weakness to pray. The Word sits before us, waiting to be our words.
Nothing fancy. Just do it.
[1] Athanasius, “The Letter to Marcellinus on the Interpretation of the Psalms,” para 31, https://www.theologyethics.com/2016/08/22/the-letter-of-athanasius-to-marcellinus-on-the-interpretation-of-the-psalms/.
[2] Eugene Peterson, Answering God: The Psalms as Tools for Prayer (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1991), 7.
[3] Indirect quote by D.A. Carson in A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 1992), 36-37.
Zach Barnhart currently serves as Student Pastor of Northlake Church in Lago Vista, TX. He holds a Bachelor of Science from Middle Tennessee State University and is currently studying at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, seeking a Master of Theological Studies degree. He is married to his wife, Hannah. You can follow Zach on Twitter @zachbarnhart or check out his personal blog, Cultivated.