What Every Man is Looking For
Movie director Joseph Kosinski’s last two films have crushed it at the box office. In 2022, Top Gun: Maverick raked in over 1.4 billion worldwide. His latest film, F1: The Movie, grossed over 630 million and was the blockbuster hit of 2025. But beyond the fighter jets, tense auto races, and big-name actors, both movies contain powerful storylines. The theme of fatherhood is woven together in both films from start to finish.
In F1: The Movie, the main character is a rogue racecar driver named Sonny Hayes (played by Brad Pitt). Sonny was a phenomenal talent growing up but experienced a near-fatal crash that upended his career and left him reeling for the next thirty years as he tried to find his way. The story comes together when Sonny is given one last chance to race in Formula One—but the opportunity comes with a cost. Sonny is asked to mentor rookie driver Joshua Pierce, but Sonny is anything but a mentor. For most of the film, Sonny and Joshua compete against one another instead of working together as teammates. There is a palpable disdain between the two as they spar verbally and fight for position on the racetrack. Over time, though, Sonny and Joshua develop a mutual respect, and a sincere father/son relationship emerges. Sonny becomes a father figure for Joshua, encouraging him and even protecting him at times. Sonny wants to see Joshua succeed.
The final moments of the film are powerful. After Sonny wins the Grand Prix, he is anxious to hop on a plane and find his next challenge, but Joshua runs him down to see where he is going. He tells Joshua, “It’s your team now. I’ll be watching!”
Sonny’s words surprise Joshua. He is passing him the baton and entrusting the team to him. But Sonny will still be watching him from a distance. He will continue to take an interest in Joshua’s life and progress.
To Be Seen
Neuroscientist Curt Thompson says that “each one of us comes into this world looking for someone, looking for us.”
Whether we articulate it like that—or whether we even realize it—the need to be noticed is woven into the fabric of our humanity. Every boy and girl, every man and woman, wants to be seen, known, and loved. And it’s not just that we want this—we truly need this.
This reality is as old as Eden. It permeates Scripture. When Adam and Eve attempt to hide themselves from the presence of God, the Lord God seeks them out. Despite their sin, they can’t hide from his love, his gaze: “Where are you?” God calls out (Gen. 3:9). Even his rebuke for original sin is accompanied by tender grace.
In Genesis 16, the angel of the Lord actively pursues Hagar when she flees into the wilderness. In 1 Kings 19, when the prophet Elijah is at his worst and weakest, the Lord comes for him. Finally, in Ezekiel 34, our True Shepherd declares to His people: “Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out”
We need someone to seek us out, to notice us, to care. We have this in God. And He has designed us to experience something similar from our fellow image bearers.
Looking for Fathers
Men, in particular, need this noticing now more than ever. We are in the midst of a cultural fatherhood crisis—what some call the fatherless generation—that doesn’t seem to be slowing down. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 18.2 million children, one in four, live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. Other heartbreaking statistics have been compiled by the National Fatherhood Initiative:
According to the U.S. Department of Health, 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. That’s five times the national average.
The National Center for Fathering found that 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes, roughly thirty-two times the average.
The National Center for Health Statistics notes that children living in single-mother households generally experience higher rates of diagnosed mental, behavioral, and developmental disorders.
The painful consequences of not having a father—or not having a good father— are pervasive. Sadly, the pain doesn’t just go away after adolescence. It lingers and stings well into adulthood. Most men never find a good father who is looking for them. They carry this wound into their marriages and their own families. While it’s absolutely true that God created man with a longing for marriage, it’s also true that wives were not designed to heal a man’s father wounds.
The need for a father is not limited to a particular age or season of life. Men desire some type of father figure whether they are sixteen or sixty. Younger men derive deep strength and confidence from Godly older men. They feel seen, known, and encouraged. In today’s culture, it’s a rare thing to have someone take a genuine interest in you—in your life, in your future, and in your God-given purpose. But older men benefit deeply from these relationships too! They need younger men to invest in and pour out their hard-fought grit and wisdom. It’s a beautiful opportunity for them to pass on their joy and pain in a redeeming way. Watching God use your story to ignite faith and purpose in a younger man is deeply satisfying; investing in a spiritual son is a powerful thing.
This relational dynamic is biblical and transformative. We see it when Elijah casts his cloak over Elisha, beckoning him to follow along (1 Kings 19:19). Elijah’s example and investment help prepare Elisha to step into his purpose. Another instance is when Jesus calls his first disciples (Matt. 4:18-22). Jesus transforms a group of rugged fishermen, and through the power of the Spirit, these men change the world. Finally, the classic example of the father/son relationship is the Apostle Paul exhorting his younger son in the faith, Timothy (1 Tim. 1:2). Paul’s influence on Timothy moves him from a fearful young man to a significant leader in the early church. In each of these biblical examples, a deep, mutual affection grows between spiritual fathers and their sons. Sharing life and ministry together is transformative. It ignites a God-given strength that can only come through deep relationships.
Be What You’re Looking For
My wife recently compiled a bunch of videos for my birthday. She reached out to men I love and respect and asked them to share some words of encouragement. I can’t convey through my writing how much their words meant to me. They strengthened me. They helped me see Jesus’ work in my life and story. It made me want to be a better man, husband, and father. Ultimately, their words pointed me back to my true identity: I’m a son of the King.
The videos helped remind me that Jesus has been seeking me—and looking for me—my whole life. He chased me down—and caught me—when I came to faith. As the old hymn says, “Jesus sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold of God.” And for some wild reason, He is still seeking me now. He’s still looking for me and cheering me on. One of the beautiful truths of the Gospel is that I have the Father’s gaze. It’s only because the Father turned his face away from Jesus on Calvary that He can turn his face towards me now.
If you find yourself discouraged from not having a spiritual father, there are three helpful things you can do. First, pray for one. Pray fervently, consistently, and expectantly. Your Heavenly Father would love to bless you with a spiritual father. Second, make it a point to get around godly older men. Find a man at church whose life you want to emulate, buy him a coffee, and ask good questions. Lastly—and most crucially—be what you are looking for. Find a younger man around you and take an interest in his life. Not to just offer advice or be a mentor, but to display God’s love and fatherly care for him.
The odds are you won’t pour into all your spiritual sons for the long haul. Some relationships are temporary. But if the time comes to part ways, make sure to tell him what Sonny tells Joshua in F1:The Movie. Let him know that you believe in him. That you’ll be watching. And that you’ll be cheering him on. It will put wind in his sails and iron in his soul.
And the remarkable thing is it will do the same for you.