Three P’s to Make Holiday Parties More Meaningful

A mere glance at the December calendar is enough to make me sweat. The holiday season is upon us, and soon every weekend will be full of gatherings. Between family traditions, church events, work parties, and other festivities, I’m already wondering how we introverts are going to sustain the social exhaustion of this season. Already wanting to axe some of the perceivably less meaningful activities, I find myself sweetly encouraged: what rich opportunities Christmas brings to pray, connect, and minister. What if the chaos in this season is instead a sharpener of our perspective, our time, and our witness?

1. Pray

If we introverts want more stamina to gather, perhaps it’s not always found in our recovery—but in our preparation. As I write this, I have a scrap of paper close by because my mind won’t stop circling on gifts to order, cards to send, party supplies to purchase. My mind is already amped in anticipation of voluminous small talk at the next gathering. Perhaps a few minutes of quiet prayer before we head out that door is an intentionality worth practicing.

Pray for godly words. Whether we get nervous and say too much or people-please and end up affirming gossip—we need help with our conversations. Consider praying:

Lord, set a guard over my mouth, watch my lips, and let my heart not participate in ugly or disparaging conversations. (See Psalm 141:3–4.)

Lord, let what comes out of my mouth be for building up and giving grace. (See Ephesians 4:29.)

Lord, let me not make myself big by making others small. (See Philippians 2:3, 4.)

Lord, let not jealousy, bitterness, or resentment motivate my words or behavior. (See Ephesians 4:31.)

Lord, help me to be a tenderhearted peacemaker, putting away offenses and welcoming those who have wronged me. (See Ephesians 4:32.)

Pray for boldness. Every gathering is an opportunity to point to Christ, whether that is sharing the Gospel or encouraging other believers to continue clinging to our great hope. When it feels much easier to keep it light with small talk, ask the Lord for discretion on when to initiate spiritual conversations. Lord, give us wisdom and the words to “boldly . . . proclaim the mystery of the gospel” and to live securely from your approval. (See Eph. 6:19 and Gal. 1:10.)

Pray for focus. Nothing is wrong with wanting to have a nice, easy night. Praise God that we can enjoy him through merry festivities. But if we find ourselves retreating when opportunities to minister might be uncomfortable, we must confess this tension to the Lord. Before we walk through the door to that work party, we need to ask the Lord to set our “minds on things that are above” and to increase our love for those who are far from Christ (Col. 3:2). Help us, Lord; you must increase, we must decrease (John 3:30).

Knowing Christmas has a way of bringing eclectic groups together, we may also need to ask God to guard our attention and availability, so we are not showing favoritism by seeking the attention of others with status. Lord, rid us of any partiality! (See James 2:1.)

2. Pursue

At nearly every Christmas gathering, there will be somebody who is in pain. Whether they’ve lost somebody dear to them or are navigating other sorrowful facts, the Lord can help us prepare to comfort others before we see them. Keep an ongoing list of the brokenhearted this Christmas season. It’s encouraging how the Spirit can prepare our hearts ahead of time to pursue specific individuals when we otherwise feel unequipped to ask them about their pain.

We can also prepare to pursue the outsider. If there are new guests, shy attendees, or participants who are less compatible to the group, seek them out because we know God encourages our hospitality.

3. Participate

As an introvert, it can be a relief to decline holiday invitations. Staying home feels safe. But what if the Lord wants us to show up in circles that feel unfamiliar to minister to others? What if the Lord is glorified through these holiday gatherings because we sought his Kingdom first by making the most of the relational opportunities in front of us? In a season where we want to say no, what if we were more open to intentionally saying yes?

December presents a unique opportunity to stay connected to friends and acquaintances we may otherwise never spend time with. By showing up to holiday reunions, we may be keeping our foot in the door of attenuated or fragile friendships. Who knows what seeds may be planted for the Gospel or what future depths of friendship may arise. Lord, help us to “walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time” (Col. 4:5).

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As the holidays come upon us, we can pray in anticipation of an overwhelming amount of social time. When we discern what commitments to make, we can pray specifically about our hearts and opportunities beforehand. When it feels intimidating to show up at a gathering where we have little in common with attendees, we ask the Lord to help us engage, ask good questions, and be good listeners. It’s amazing how loved people feel when we give them our attention. We don’t have to have a lot in common with people to do this. And yet, when there ends up being chemistry with people quite different from us, it’s further evidence of the Lord’s favor and good work.