Though I Walk In Stubbornness
My youngest child always had a knack for falling. Though my husband and I warned him time and time again squatting on the edge of a chair wasn’t wise, it never sunk in. With his toes perched perilously near the precipice, he foolishly believed he was safe, only to wind up on the floor yet again.
If you’ve been around a toddler for any length of time, you understand the seemingly fruitless effort of trying to maintain boundaries and keep them from harm.
“Why did you think that was a good idea?” I’ve uttered that phrase often during the last eight years of raising children.
Though it’s easy to bemoan the dissonance of a child who boldly neglects the wisdom of his parents, I am often no different. How often do I sidle up to the lion who could eat me for lunch (1 Pet. 5:8)?
Unfortunately, we are often tempted to believe safety exists in the presence of sin.
A WARNING FROM GOD
A warning in Deuteronomy perfectly encapsulates the foolishness of this way of thinking. The entire book of Deuteronomy is a rally speech for the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land. Moses renewed the demands of the covenant in order to encourage them to obey it. As he neared the end, he recounted the terms—bountiful blessings will come with obedience or tragic curses with their disobedience.
Like a wise parent God lays out the parameters for his people, they have no excuse. Yet Moses warns them to beware of the person among them who is a poisonous and bitter fruit (Deut. 29:18). This man will hear the word of the covenant—its warnings and admonitions and instead will say, “I shall be safe, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart” (Deut. 29:19). The consequences for this man will be anything but security. Moses warns curses will be laid upon him, and he will be blotted out.
While using this passage as a sword against others is easy, using it as a mirror is much harder. As Christians in the New Covenant, we don’t need to fear the curses of being unable to bear the law—for Christ bore it for us (Gal. 3:13-14)—yet the absurdity of this statement should still give us pause.
How often have we thought the same? The man in question falsely believed he would be able to hold the blessings of the covenant while arrogantly rejecting the admonitions of it. He believed he could have fellowship with God while serving the devil.
YOU CAN’T HOLD BOTH
The truths of this impossibility echo beyond the Old Testament pages. First John reminds us that we cannot claim fellowship in the light with Christ while we walk in darkness (1 John 1:6), and Jesus warned that no one can serve two masters (Matt. 6:24). It’s echoed in relational realities, as 2 Corinthians warns against yoking with an unbeliever, for “what fellowship does light have with darkness?” (6:14).
Despite these warnings, we keep trying. We believe we can smash our cake and eat it too. Augustine of Hippo admitted the same reality in his Confessions. He recounts his desire to possess both Christ and the lie of his own goodness at the same time. He ends saying he lost the nearness of the Lord “because [God] disdain[s] to be possessed together with a lie.”[1]
We too try to hold lies along with Christ. We may find ourselves serving the Lord while believing our own righteousness has secured our good favor. We believe the bitterness in our hearts towards those who’ve hurt us is fine to take to our morning prayer time. We pray for God to work in our kids but then boast in our excellent parenting decisions and plans. We can’t do this. God will have no fellowship with darkness, for he is light and in him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5).
This reality should drive us to the cross of Christ, for we know we are powerless on our own to walk purely in his ways. Just as the Israelites could not meet the demands of the law, we can’t and never will. Though we were that poisonous and bitter fruit, Christ took the curse that we deserved. He absorbed it on our behalf, so we could have fellowship with him—even now as we still stumble in darkness.
CHOOSE SAFETY
While we need not fear losing our salvation, this warning in Deuteronomy still drives us to action (Deut. 29; John 10:28–29; Rom. 8:35–39). We should choose safety—true safety. Safety is a word we may not quickly equate with righteousness. We tend to choose other words like holiness, godliness, goodness. Those are good descriptions, but we may forget that ultimately the path of righteousness is safe.
This is an idea peppered throughout the Psalms. The fact that God’s word is a lamp to our feet and light to our path is a promise of safety (Ps. 119:105). The Psalmist claims the words of the Lord allow him to walk in a wide place (Ps. 119:45), he claims they have given him life (Ps. 119:93), and that they will keep him from stumbling (Ps. 119:165). Proverbs tells us that “whoever keeps the commandment keeps his life” (Prov. 19:16).
Just as he did so in the garden, Satan will always whisper the lie that we “shall not surely die” (Gen. 3:4). He tempts us with counterfeit safety and short-changed pleasure. Yet as children of God, we must know that true safety is only in following after God and his ways.
It might feel very difficult to come to your spouse in humility—instead of manipulation and frustration—or to hold in that angry retort when that friend says something hurtful, but on the other side of obedience, there is joy under God’s laws. It might feel very challenging and unpleasant to delete that infuriated Facebook comment or condescending tweet.
Yet God’s ways lead to secure joy. Perhaps offering forgiveness to the brother that’s wronged you will prove tough. Yet, although such obedience feels scary, in reality operating under God’s laws is the safest place one could ever be.
BELIEVE HIS WORDS
It’s always easier to see these truths in others before ourselves. Like my toddler perching atop the edge of disaster, we miss the danger right before us. I used to wonder how the stubborn Israelites could have blessings and curses before their eyes and still turn from the Lord. Then I saw myself more clearly.
See, I hold the revelation in my hands that tells me there is fullness of life in the presence of the Lord while I run towards death (Prov. 14:12; John 10:10; Eph. 3:16–19). I have the Word that tells me Christ is living water and the bread of life, while I shove my mouth full of sand (John 4:14; 6:35; Heb. 4:12).
Like the Israelites needed the prophets of old, we need the Holy Spirit to use the Word of God to awaken us to our sinfulness (John 14:26). We need the body of Christ to lovingly come alongside and encourage us (Col. 3:16).
And we need to sink every bit of our hope in the cross of Christ—which absorbed the curse and weight of the law (Gal. 3:13-14)—and secured a safety we never could never have attained on our own.
[1] St. Augustine, The Confessions of Saint Augustine (New York, NY: Image Books, 1960), 272.
Brianna Lambert is a wife and mom to three, making their home in the cornfields of Indiana. She loves using writing to work out the truths God is teaching her each day. She is a staff writer with GCD and has contributed to various online publications, such as Morning by Morning and The Gospel Coalition. You can find more of her writing paired with her husband’s photography at lookingtotheharvest.com.