The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven (#1)
[A note from our Managing Editor: Tim Shorey, pastor and author, is one of our Gospel-Centered Discipleship staff writers. Tim is also currently battling stage 4 prostate cancer. On Facebook he’s writing about his journey. We’re including some of his posts in a series on our website called “The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven.” To preserve the feel of a daily journal rather than a published work, we have chosen not to submit these reflections to a rigorous editing process.]
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Three Teens in a Fire
From June 18, 2022
My furnace just got hotter. Yesterday’s chest CT scan report indicates several points with significant reason for “concern” (that word shows up repeatedly). Implication? The cancer may have traveled, though how far or where we don’t yet know. We won’t get the official doctor’s interpretation until Monday, which means another three days of stressful uncertainty. Hopefully we are reading it wrong, but whatever their full meaning, the repeated word choice on this report thickens the overhead clouds. Or, to change the image, they stoke the furnace.
I feel like the three ancient Hebrew teens (Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) who refused to bow to King Nebuchadnezzar’s image (Dan. 3:1–25). The more they stood their ground, the hotter he became. Infuriated, King Neb fired up his furnace, fueled it extra to match his rage, and then threatened to throw them in. The conflict came to a head when the three teens boldly declared:
Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. BUT IF NOT, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up. (Dan. 3:17–18, emphasis added)
These three Hebrew teens believed that God was able to deliver and were even 90% sure he would. But if not—and that’s a key phrase—they were going with God no matter what, right on into the furnace. Turns out that God did deliver them, but they didn’t know that at decision time. They decided to trust while the outcome was still uncertain.
Faith is not knowing what God is going to do but knowing and trusting God no matter what he does.
That’s the kind of faith that God is giving me in this moment. I’m like the blind man who didn’t know that Jesus was going to heal, but he did know that Jesus was able to heal (Matt. 9:27–30a). And that faith won him the Healer’s praise.
I haven’t found any “Tim, you’re going to be healed of your cancer” promise in Scripture. And when I think of the fact that everybody at some point gets sick and dies, it strikes me as a tad presumptuous that I’d claim healing for which I’ve been given no divine guarantee. After all, even the most rabid faith-healer type needs to admit that there’s at least one point in everyone’s life when God doesn’t heal.
So if I do not know what God is going to do, where do I direct my faith? To God himself. I want a faith that says, “I don’t know what God is going to do, but I’m going to trust, serve, and love him whatever happens.” I want faith in a Person, not faith in an outcome. I think I honor my Father the most when I trust him to do what is best, not what I want.
By the way, it’s good to know that I don’t have to fake a faith that says, “I know God is going to heal me.” And it’s also good to know that I don’t need to feel guilty for a faith that’s honest enough to admit that it isn’t sure what God is going to do. Unless God tells me with a clear, unmistakable voice that he is going to heal me in this life, I don’t need to know that he is, or make believe that I do.
So as my cancer furnace keeps heating up, this is what I want my faith to say: “my God whom I serve is able to deliver me from the cancerous fire, and he will deliver me out of your hand, O cancer. But if not, be it known to you, O cancer, that I will not serve any indulgent sin or yield to any needless fear or whine with any Godward discontent or join in any hellish rebellion against him.”
I want the kind of faith that says, “Father I don’t know whether I’ll live or die, but I do know that you are God. I know that you love me, watch out for me, and have a plan for me. And I know that you have been my Maker, Provider, Redeemer, Renewer, Keeper, and Promise-keeper for all my days. So no matter what you do, I will trust in you.”
Will God heal? That gets my vote. But if he doesn’t? He will still get my trust.
Hell can do its worst. But God will do what’s best.
Pray for me that I will hold fast to my God with this kind of faith, for I think it’s a faith that pleases him, and it’s a faith that can never be disappointed. By his grace, I choose Christ. Pray that I will continue to choose Christ all day long, and then tomorrow, all over again.
Your brother,
Tim
Tim Shorey is married to Gayline, his wife of 44 years, and has six grown children and 13 grandchildren. In his 41st year of pastoral ministry, he helps lead Risen Hope Church, in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. Among his books are Respect the Image: Reflecting Human Worth in How We Listen and Talk; 30/30 Hindsight: 30 Reflections on a 30-Year Headache; and his recently released, award-winning An ABC Prayer to Jesus: Praise for Hearts Both Young and Old. To find out more, visit timothyshorey.com.