Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven (#24)
[A note from our Managing Editor: Tim Shorey, pastor and author, is one of our Gospel-Centered Discipleship staff writers. Tim is also currently battling stage 4 prostate cancer. On Facebook and CaringBridge, he’s writing about his journey. We’re including some of his posts in a series on our website called “The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven.” To preserve the feel of a daily journal rather than a published work, we have chosen not to submit these reflections to a rigorous editing process.]
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Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing: Living the Conflicted Life
December 17, 2024
Dear Journal,
Last evening we were at a concert in which our grandchildren sang their hearts out to Jesus in their Christmas program. I felt joy, pride, and love in spades. But I also felt lousy; like I’d been steamrolled and left for dead. Both feelings—happy and sad—at the same time.
And BTW, that “same time” includes this morning. It still feels like a C8 Model Caterpillar Tandem Vibrator Steam Roller has run back and forth over me flattening everything and squeezing every last drop of energy out of me.
Longtime journal readers will recognize the words in today’s title as frequent words in my journal. They are Paul’s words, found in 2 Corinthians 6:10. He was “sorrowful, but always rejoicing”—even though he was one of the greatest believers of all time, whose faith and integrity were faultless and full of joy.
This man, who tells us to “rejoice in the Lord always and again [he says] to rejoice” (Phil. 4:7), wept and groaned his way through life. He was a crushed, perplexed, weeping, groaning, and unceasingly anguished saint who couldn’t restrain his tears—and commanded us to shed tears of our own (Acts 20:19, 36-39; Rom. 8:23, 9:2, 12:15; 2 Cor. 6:9-10; Phil. 3:18). I could mention many other biblical saints who wept their way through life—even though full of faith and joy, but this will do.
I have long believed that “sorrowful but always rejoicing” could well be the most authentic description of a healthy and mature Christian life that there is.
I can say in truth that I am sorrowful and rejoicing every single day. As for me, I cannot live in the real world without being sorrowful. But neither can I believe in the love of God our Father, or bask in the saving truth of the gospel, or experience the forgiving grace of Christ, or be indwelt by the Holy Spirit of Adoption and Comfort, or taste the transforming power of the gospel—all made ours through the Cross and Conquest of Christ—without rejoicing!
You can’t have cancer and a thousand other losses and crosses, as I do, without crying, and you can’t have salvation and a thousand blessings from the Father’s hands without smiling. There is no emotional instability or spiritual weakness of faith in this tension. If anything, there is authenticity and faith to be cultivated by us all.
If someone tells me that they are not sorrowful, I am inclined to think that they are not paying attention. And if they say that they have no reason to be “always rejoicing,” I am inclined to say that they need to embrace the gospel more deeply than they have before. For the world cannot help but make one sad, while the gospel cannot help but make one glad.
I try to cultivate an appropriate measure of both every day—although admittedly, given the way my body feels today, I’m going to have to fight a fierce fight for joy. I’m just saying.
* You can read all the posts in this series here.