Seeking Validation
Blocks teetered atop the carefully constructed tower. My five-year-old placed the final piece and stepped back to admire his masterpiece. “Mommy, can I show Daddy?” he begged. It’s a common question in my house. Whether my children have colored a new picture, constructed an intricate building, or built a sweeping railroad track, they inevitably seek to show it off to Daddy as soon as possible. Their sweet requests never seem fueled by pride so much as excitement and the nagging question: Have I done well? Their love and admiration for their father pushes them to seek his approval for all their hard work spent coloring, building, or cutting. Ultimately, they want to know if their time was worth something.
We may not color pictures or construct block towers anymore, but as adults this instinct lingers. We no longer cry out for a parent, but these days we chase hearts, likes, and comments on a scrolling newsfeed. Often as I scroll through social media I wonder what it is we’re all really looking for? Some post for fame and followers, but I think many of us are like my children—reaching out for validation. We don’t seek attention as much as we long for proof that what we’ve done matters. We post pictures of our children, our latest work update, a new recipe, or a joke, and with bated breath wait to find out: Have I done well? We yearn to know that our actions hold value—that we’re a good mother, brother, sister, or employee. These questions are valid, yet we’re going to the wrong source to find their answer.
Who Calls It Good?
In the very beginning, the Lord God created life in the barrenness of the cosmos (Gen. 1:1). He spoke light into existence, and he formed a world and filled it to the brim with stomping creatures, flying birds, and incredible humans. After each new creation, Scripture tells us he looked at his work and called it good (Gen. 1:9). The root of that word brings to mind beauty and purity, but it also connotes value. God’s creation held worth.
If anyone is qualified to bestow value on creation, surely it’s the God who formed it? The Lord himself is of the utmost worth, after all (Ps. 18:3). Far better than the accolades of creatures is the validation found in the sovereign God who made use and knows the purposes for which we were made. Yet so often we get it backward and turn to created beings for approval. Paul had to remind the Galatians that since they belonged to Christ, their affections should change as well (Gal. 1:10). As children of God, we should cry out with David that the thoughts of the Lord are precious to us far above the accolades of the world (Ps. 139:17). We don’t have to chase the world’s idea of success and glory, but can find our worth in who God says we are instead.
What Are We Worth?
And what does God say about us? Our God calls us his beloved sons and daughters. He tells us that our union with Christ has secured our adoption (John 1:12). He tells us we are a holy priesthood, a chosen nation, and a people belonging to him (1 Pet. 2:9). Our Lord looks at us wrapped in the righteousness of his Son, and once again, he calls us good (2 Cor. 5:21). This should lift our spirits better than any Facebook like or share.
Moreover, not only does God give us worth by adopting us as his children, he reminds us that no matter what we are doing—whether it's something as small as eating or drinking—those actions hold the utmost value when we do them for the glory of the Lord (1 Cor. 10:31). Chad Bird said it beautifully when he wrote, “All our works, big and little, known and unknown, coalesce into perfection when they are folded into the labor of Jesus” (Your God is Too Glorious, 115).
Those five loads of laundry you did today? If you labored over them in union with Christ, they mattered in his kingdom. Your Savior calls it good and worthy. That piece of art, that blog post, or that casserole baking in the oven? Your Father gives it value, no matter how many likes or comments it gets on Instagram. We don’t need the algorithm of a social media site to convince us that the way we fill our time is worthwhile. We can go to someone so much greater. And he gently reminds us that every single piece of labor that’s folded into him is invaluable.
The Mouthpieces of the Lord
Now we’ve established that our validation comes from God rather than men, we must remember that for some incredible reason throughout history, the Lord has chosen to act through the means of sinful humans. He spoke to Pharaoh through Moses, he made his warnings known through the prophets, and today his kingdom goes forth through his church.
Likewise, brothers and sisters in the church can be the means through which the Lord reminds his people of their worth. What if, instead of being taunted by the likes and shares of social media, we as the church worked even harder to build up each other in the Lord? As a young mom, I remember a dear friend who at the end of our talks would often tell me, “You’re such a good mom teaching your kids to love Jesus.” The encouragement always caught me off guard and boosted my spirits. The simple remark reminded me that all the toddler-chasing, dish-washing, and bottle-feeding mattered. She reminded me that the Lord calls even that work worthy.
This is a far cry from the human-approval that Paul warns against, because this kind of validation is rooted in the work of Christ. What better opportunity for the church than this? When was the last time you pulled aside a brother and told them the Lord is delighted by the forty-plus hours a week he spends designing engine parts? Or when have you texted a friend just to say it's a joy to watch them use their God-given gifts in electrical repair? Do you know a young sister in Christ who spends her spare time writing stories or creating art? Encourage her with the truth that her work brings glory to her Father in heaven, no matter how many people see it.
These simple words surpass any number of likes or notifications, and it’s the reminder so many of us need in a world that’s bent on fame and success. May the church seek to be the mouthpiece of the Lord and grab hold of opportunities to ground each other in what truly matters—the worth of Christ.
Perhaps my kids have had it right all along. As they seek approval, they know exactly who to run to—their father. Likewise, we should seek the same from ours. Nothing is wrong with posting our updates and accomplishments on social media, but we must remember that true worth from our work will be found in what Christ says about it. And friend, he has so much to say about the work of his children when that work is folded into him. Like a proud Father, he tells us every bit of it is worthy. May we believe this, and may we be the kind of brothers and sisters who remind each other of it as well.
Brianna Lambert is a wife and a mom to three, making their home in the cornfields of Indiana. She loves using writing to work out the truths God is teaching her each day. She is a staff writer with GCD and has contributed to various online publications, such as Christianity Today and The Gospel Coalition. You can find more of her writing paired with her husband’s photography at lookingtotheharvest.com.