Outdo One Another in Showing Honor
It is entirely possible that Romans 12:10 is the most under-practiced and frequently minimized biblical command in the twenty-first-century church. Read it carefully and slowly:
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
According to Paul, love and honor belong together; both have a quality of selflessness to them that rejoices over other people. Christians are not merely to tolerate one another but to love one another like family. Christians are not merely to “think well of one another” or “be nice to one another” or even simply “honor one another.” Christians are called to outdo one another in showing honor—or as the CSB puts it, “take the lead in honoring one another.” Here we see initiative and intentionality. A radically reoriented posture, in light of the gospel, in which we choose to hold nothing positive back from each other in both word and action.
Speak with a Christian Accent
This may be unfamiliar ground for many of us. For example, I am Australian. This means I am bilingual, possessing the ability to speak both English and Sarcasm. Fluently. It is not uncommon for those who aren’t familiar with Australian culture to hear two Australians verbally poking one another and to mistake good-natured playfulness for outright hostility. And while friendly banter is certainly fine and there are times that even Jesus seemed to use hyperbolic mockery (camels through needles, anyone?), those of us with quick wits and quicker tongues would do well to remember that the word “sarcasm” finds its origins in a Greek word that literally means, “to tear the flesh off”—which has an eerily similar sounding ring to Paul’s warning about biting and devouring one another in Galatians 5.
More important than my earthly citizenship (and yours) is our heavenly citizenship. And as citizens of the world to come, our words are to be spoken to one another with an unmistakably Christian accent. Our actions and generosity towards one another are to carry an undeniable aroma of Christ. And should we fear coming across as fake or insincere or in danger of “puffing people up” a little too much, we need only remember that if we are going to err, the competition woven into this biblical command ought to compel us to err on the side of a bit too much honor, love, praise, thoughtfulness, generosity and encouragement—rather than not enough. After all, there is not a single person in your church or in mine who is feeling over-encouraged right now. You have never met that person. But in a church environment of biblical competitiveness—nobody loses. Nobody is diminished. Nobody becomes poorer. Everyone becomes wealthier with the riches of relational beauty, which will outlast all the treasures of this world.
And should we need any more convincing, next time you gather with your brothers and sisters in Christ, look into their eyes and remember that you are looking at a living, breathing miracle. You are staring at someone of whom Paul would declare possesses “the glorious wealth of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27 CSB). Honor and glory belong together. In light of that, why should you hold back when you consider that “your church is a holy, sacred, blood-bought glory in the making”? (Ray Ortlund and Sam Allberry, You’re Not Crazy, 64).
See God’s Glory in One Another
Not too long ago, I was at a leaders’ retreat for Acts 29—a global, cross-denominational, church planting network—with around fifty or so staff members from different parts of the world. After praying, planning, and collaborating together for a couple of days, our final session was dedicated exclusively to practicing Romans 12:10. Each person in the room was, in their own time, to stand up and say something true about someone else in the room—publicly honoring them and thanking God for them. Insincerity and sarcasm were not permitted, nor was hungering to be publicly honored. The point wasn’t that everyone present received honor, but that everyone present had the opportunity to practice honoring.
At first, it was a little awkward. I realized that we are so used to criticism and nuancing our opinions of one another that to spend forty-five minutes doing nothing but honoring and thanking God for one another felt, in some ways, like learning an entirely new world. But it was a new world that felt like home. This was the way the world once was before it was fractured by sin; the way the world is meant to be; the way the world will one day be again when Jesus wipes away every tear, along with every sin, once-and-for-all. To truly give ourselves to competition in the way we honor each other is to swim against the current of our present age. But that is the noble calling that is part of our gospel inheritance, that Scripture calls us to embrace with competitive energy.
Imagine your church as a prayerful, proactive people who see the glory of God in one another and seek to outdo one another in showing thoughtful encouragement and life-giving honor; stirring each other up to greater heights of Christlike love. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a church like that?
This article is an adapted excerpt from Honor by Adam Ramsey (The Good Book Company, 2024).