Not Every Good Idea Is God’s Idea: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven (#9)
[A note from our Managing Editor: Tim Shorey, pastor and author, is one of our Gospel-Centered Discipleship staff writers. Tim is also currently battling stage 4 prostate cancer. On Facebook and CaringBridge, he’s writing about his journey. We’re including some of his posts in a series on our website called “The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven.” To preserve the feel of a daily journal rather than a published work, we have chosen not to submit these reflections to a rigorous editing process.]
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Not Every Good Idea Is God’s Idea
March 1, 2023
Dear Journal,
I had an impulse this week to drive five to six hours (ten or twelve in all) to visit a hospitalized friend. Then I had an impulse to call a grieving widow to offer a friendly pastoral voice. I’ve also had impulses to mentor young men, not to mention an impulse to join hearts with fellow cancer fighters I know.
Then there were the impulses to stay long after church to fellowship and welcome guests, to attend a mid-week Bible study, to practice hospitality, to build relationally in several directions, to maintain previous friendships from former days, to counsel the young pastor 3,000 miles away who’s been seeking my advice (who I don’t even know), to do what I can to encourage a new young missionary leaving for Japan in two weeks.
But I’ve had to place a guard over my heart to keep it from letting too many impulses and ideas in and taking over.
Not every impulse is from the Lord—no matter how strongly it may be felt. Paul’s impulse to reach Asia was redirected by the Lord. His impulse to have Apollos visit the Corinthians was stymied. His intention to return to Corinth didn’t pan out. And while he longed to see the Romans and often intended to visit them, Paul’s impulses were “prevented” and frustrated repeatedly (Acts 16:6–7; Rom. 1:9–13; 1 Cor. 16:12; 2 Cor. 1:15–17).
The point is that not every good idea is God’s idea. I may have a hundred impulses, but they’re all going to have to be sorted and assessed and then either pursued or discarded. If I ignore all my ideas and impulses, they will dieunfulfilled . . . or God will find someone else to do them (Esther 4:14). But if I try to embrace all my impulses, I will dieunfulfilled—overwhelmed and incapacitated for the real priorities that God has for me.
I’m glad cancer hasn’t killed off all my ideas and impulses. Thankfully, my heart still moves toward people. I want to help. I want to serve. I want to bless. I want to lift up the downhearted. I want to help make true peace in the church. I want to support my pastors and make their calling a joy (Heb. 13:17). But I’ve got to figure out how to figure out which of all my impulses are God’s ideas; and which, even if good, are only mine!
And I’m not exactly sure how to do that, given my physical and emotional variables. I’ve got the heart for many impulses but the health for only a few. So it’s complicated. Maybe I need to heed the 3-B counsel I’ve given to others in my pastoring days: Through prayer and the counsel of pastors and others I need to discern what I have the burden, bandwidth, and boldness to do.
I need to discern what the Spirit may have most burdened me to do. What weighs most on my heart? What presses into my spirit as a great concern or very serious need—and would others agree with that burden?
Then I need to discern what I have the bandwidth to do. It’s fine to have a burden, but if God hasn’t given me the gifts or the time or the physical and emotional capacity for it, then it is not his will for me—at least not now. It’s simple: if I can’t do what I want or feel burdened to do, then God has something else for me to do.
To discern that, I need to know what my non-negotiables are (medical care, lots of rest, my wife Gayline, family time and travel, exercise, Sunday church and fellowship group, etc.). If I find that other pursuits are depleting me for these other priorities, then I need to re-assess. The point is that if I am not discerning about my bandwidth, I will soon be incapacitated for everything that matters most. Surprising as it may seem, some burdens may be more a tempting distraction from the enemy than a calling from the Lord!
Finally, I need to discern my level of boldness for the task. Do I have faith, a bold confidence in the power and enablement of God that he can and will give me the grace to carry out this ministry?
As with almost everything in life, I won’t evaluate or decide on my own. I’ll be seeking spiritual counsel from Gayline, spiritual leaders, and mature believers (Prov. 15:22; 20:18). But somehow, I’ve got to figure it out. Like all believers, I am called to serve sacrificially. Cancer doesn’t give me a pass. But “How should I serve?” is the question for me right now.
I covet people’s prayers. Please pray that I would discern what God has next for me.
* You can read all of the posts in this series here.
Tim Shorey is married to Gayline, his wife of 44 years, and has six grown children and 14 grandchildren. After over forty years of pastoral ministry, he recently retired from Risen Hope Church, in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. Among his books are Respect the Image: Reflecting Human Worth in How We Listen and Talk; The Communion Truce: How Holy Communion Addresses Our Unholy Conflicts; 30/30 Hindsight: 30 Reflections on a 30-Year Headache; his award-winning An ABC Prayer to Jesus: Praise for Hearts Both Young and Old. To find out more, visit timothyshorey.com.