Jesus is Patient With our Doubt

Doubt is a very real and not always talked about part of the Christian life. To believe in Jesus means learning to navigate the doubts that come with it. The Bible says that there is an enemy, Satan, whose goal is to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). He aims to bring doubt to our minds, assault our assurances, bring questions to our hearts, and try to pull us from the hands of Jesus (were that even possible). He loves to antagonize us.

I have been a believer for as long as I can remember. The Lord has kindly surrounded me with people who have helped me build a foundation on the solid rock of God’s Word and Christ’s faithfulness. Yet, when I lost my eighteen-year-old son in 2022 to a cruel battle with cancer, I found that doubt became a very real part of my story.

What if I have not believed rightly? What if my faith fails? What if I have misunderstood the words of Jesus? What if I’ve misunderstood salvation altogether? What if, deep down, I am more anxious to see the son I lost again than I am to meet Jesus? Is God upset with me about this? What if, what if, what if . . .

As I continue to wrestle through the grief of loss, I find that there are many days when I feel mentally assaulted by the enemy. He does not care that I am working through a broken heart. In fact, he sees it as an opportunity to harass me even more. At times, doubt can overwhelm me. As I find myself in these spaces, it comforts me to reflect on the life of John the Baptist.

In Matthew 11, John the Baptist is in prison and beginning to doubt who Jesus is. John, the cousin of Jesus. John, the very one who baptized Jesus and saw the Holy Spirit descend upon him (Matt. 3:13–17). John, the one whom Scripture prophesied was to come (Isa. 40:3; Mal. 3:1). John, the one whom the angel said would be “great in the sight of the Lord” (Luke 1:15, NIV). This John—who knew Jesus in the flesh and had already proclaimed him to be “the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29)—is beginning to doubt. As he sits in prison, he sends his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” (Matt. 11:3).

It seems that John, maybe more than anyone in the New Testament, should have been assured of who Jesus was. I can only expect that he grew up hearing about the angel that visited his dad. I imagine he grew up hearing about the Old Testament prophesies that he himself fulfilled. I expect that John, as he sat alone with his thoughts in prison, was harassed by the enemy, prodded and poked with questions until the doubt could no longer remain silent: “Are you the one who is to come?” This had to be discouraging for him.

Still, I love that amid his doubt and discouragement, John went to Jesus. He was not afraid to voice his questions. This says something about his relationship with Jesus—he knew it was safe to express his fears and doubts to him.

I wonder if John felt frustrated with Jesus’s answer. I think I would have. I would have wanted Jesus to say, “Yup, it’s me! You got it right.” Instead, Jesus responds to John with the Word of God, quoting the words of Isaiah 35:5, “The blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them” (Matt. 11:5). He didn’t just give him a straight answer; rather, he pointed him back to God’s Word.

If this is how Jesus responded to John in his doubt, I think it must be the same for us. As we wrestle with doubt, the only place we can go is to the Word of God. The only place we can find truth is the very place where we wrestle with belief. At times, it feels discouraging because I want Jesus to say, “Yup, you got it right! Keep pressing on!” Instead, we are met with verses like Hebrews 11:1, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” We are reminded that the very essence of faith flows from believing something we do not necessarily see, something we, at times, cannot feel. Beyond that, Jesus says, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).

We can easily be tempted to believe that Jesus is frustrated with our doubts and questions, and that though he is patient with us, there is an underlying annoyance or irritation that we still struggle to believe. As I look at his response to John, however, I find this is untrue.

After Jesus responds to John’s question by pointing him back to God’s Word, he tells the people that are near enough to hear, “Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist” (Matt. 11:11). Instead of rebuking John for his questions or doubt, Jesus praises him for his character. He encourages him; he blesses him. I don’t think he’s commending John for his doubt; rather, he is assuring John of his love for him despite his doubt. John’s questions and uncertainty did nothing to affect Christ’s heart for him. It’s the same for us.

Somehow, as we fight for faith, as we fight to believe rightly, as we fight for belief, as we wrestle with doubt, as we struggle with the tensions of faith, there is blessing. We are met with grace and mercy. Jesus is not disappointed that we struggle. Instead, we are reminded that our salvation is a gift of grace and no amount of works or right belief will save us. It is simply God’s grace (Eph. 2:8–9).

Despite knowing these truths in my head, I still find that many days, I wrestle. I wrestle with faith. I wrestle with doubt. I wrestle with having my affections rightly aligned. Most recently, there is a part of me that daily holds on, not simply because Christ is all but because I want to see my son again. I wish my heart was in a different place. I wish that I longed to see Jesus more than I long to be reunited with my son. I know my loves are misaligned, and yet I still cannot seem to anticipate anything more than getting to hug my son once again.

As I consider the grace in Jesus’s response to John’s doubt and questions, however, I recognize that God is big enough to deal with a grieving mom’s heart, and he’s big enough to deal with whatever doubts or misaligned affections we may hold, too. He is able to sort out our wrongly placed anticipation. He’s not angry or upset, looking on us with disappointment; rather, he has compassion for us. I am grateful for this reminder. God does not disdain us in our doubts or wrong beliefs. He is patient with us. What a Savior we have!