If COVID-19 Takes Me Out
I have Type 1 diabetes.
There are a lot of folks in my life who don’t know that. I think those closest to me forget it, understandably. Truthfully, aside from those in my endocrinology office, my wife is probably the only person who readily has my diagnosis in mind. I typically try not to think about it myself.
I was twenty-three when something awry was first noticed. At the time, I was without health insurance from being newly underemployed, and I needed to complete a physical for a part-time job. Normally I would have gone to my family doctor, but I was concerned about the cost, so I went to an occupational medicine office instead.
My family doctor had done a number of physicals for me over the years given how often I played sports. He was a great doctor, but his physicals were usually pretty simple and brief. At this clinic, they ran some diagnostics I hadn’t done before. A few minutes later I was out the door with a brochure on diabetes. Great.
Thirteen years later, I’ve finally accepted this as part of my life. Becoming a husband and father motivates you to take your health more seriously. My A1C has been up and down (mostly up) for years until I started wearing a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) last year. Instead of pricking my finger several times during the day to test my blood sugar, I have a little contraption on my arm 24/7. It reads my blood sugar constantly, providing information that allows me to make a better calculation of how much insulin I need to take per meal. This past year has brought my A1C almost to my goal.
Three to four times a year I get blood drawn to test my A1C, cholesterol, and kidney function. Fortunately, despite not taking my diagnosis nearly as seriously as I should have for years, those other diagnostic numbers have always been either relatively good or very good.
PANDEMIC DIABETIC
Like many, I go back and forth on what to make of this coronavirus pandemic throughout a given day. Sometimes I believe portions of the data are misleading and certain lockdown measures have been unnecessary. We’ll probably be mostly back to normal by the fall, I think. Then later I find myself fearing, This will be our new normal for a year or longer.
Regardless of exactly how deadly this virus may be, it’s clearly worse for individuals with chronic illnesses, including diabetes. I’m doing what is needed to avoid the virus—working from home, distancing myself socially, and wearing a mask and gloves when I go grocery shopping.
I believe Jesus is the “way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Like everyone else, I’m a sinner who has been separated from my Creator because of that sin. I believe Jesus, fully God and fully man, sacrificed his life to atone for those sins. Because I know what eternity holds, my faith in Jesus brings peace for this life as well. This is how I have managed my emotions throughout this ordeal.
I don’t think I’m afraid of getting COVID-19. I don’t think I’m even afraid of dying from it. What I’m most afraid of is dying and leaving my wife and two young children without a husband and father.
IF COVID-19 TAKES ME OUT
If I were to die from COVID-19, or anything else, there will be no replacing my void as a husband or father. Losing a parent, child, or spouse leaves a permanent scar. Or maybe it’s more like a missing limb—a vital part that is supposed to be connected to the body, but no longer is.
Here, I take comfort in the community of believers to which my family is connected. They’re not simply friends and family. Many throughout the world have friends and family who can help care for someone physically, financially, and emotionally. For Christ’s bride, it’s different. There is a deeper connection to one another through Christ. As Christians, caring for others is an outpouring of our faith and is to point back to Christ—the ultimate example of sacrificial love.
Tending to loved ones is not just the “right thing to do.” Rather, it’s a command from God that goes beyond our immediate family and friends. I know there are believers, both in our local church and in the universal Church, who would see to it that my family would be cared for. We have a little money set aside and some life insurance from my work, but these believers would care for my wife. They would care for my daughter. They would care for my son.
Like anyone else, I don’t like thinking about what would happen if I die. I grieve over the thought of my family continuing on in my absence. I take solace knowing they would not be abandoned to struggle on their own. Meals will be made. Bills will be paid. It would still be a struggle, but it would not be a solitary struggle.
ONE ANOTHER
The Bible says a lot about how the Church is to treat one another. We are to love one another (John 13:34), serve one another (Gal. 5:13), comfort one another (1 Thess. 4:18), pray for one another (Eph. 6:18), encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11), offer hospitality to one another (1 Pet. 4:9), care for one another (1 Cor. 12:25), and carry each other’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). The Church is responsible for the well-being of the entire body of believers around the world. The “one another” passages create a basic framework of how to do that.
My family draws this community from both our local church and those we have come to know intimately through previous congregations, from college, and from childhood. I know at least three families who are prepared to follow all of those “one another” commands for my wife and kids if I pass on because I’ve seen them do it already in small ways, whether there have been physical, emotional, or spiritual needs.
I take real comfort in knowing these relationships are in place and that the Church will provide should something happen to me. As I look up at the family portrait sitting on our mantle, I know there will be a lot of grief should I no longer be around to fulfill my roles. Yet other Christian families will all pitch in to comfort, pray for, provide hospitality to, and care for my wife and kids.
CHRIST’S BRIDE
Writing for 9Marks, Pastor Matt Emadi says, “In the New Testament, love is tangible, active, and expressed through service. Every church member is responsible to fulfill the ‘one another’ passages of the New Testament.”
Sometimes it seems we Christians spend far more of our time applying biblical teachings to those outside of the church when there is so much written about how we are to address each other from within the church. When discussing the sins of the church in Corinth, Paul almost unnoticeably mentions, “For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?” (1 Cor. 5:12). While this passage is about addressing sin, it still underscores the church’s responsibility to take care of its own affairs. We are to hold each other accountable, and we are to care for each other’s needs.
Commenting on the early church holding all things in common (Acts 4:32), Carl Trueman recently said, “Essentially what’s being projected there is the idea [that] everybody understood they were connected to everybody else. One man’s problem was another man’s problem.” And by extension, one family’s problem is another family’s problem. No member of a church body should ever face challenges and uncertainty alone.
We amplify our love of Christ by caring for his bride. And should something happen to me, I know my bride and my children will be cared for. What greater peace can a man have during a pandemic?
Tony Beard is a student affairs professional who has worked in the college setting for the past decade. He holds an MA in Counseling in Higher Education from the University of Delaware and is currently the staff advisor for his college’s Christian Student Fellowship. Tony is married to Angela, has two children, and is a member of Mount Calvary Church in Elizabethtown, PA. You can follow him on Twitter.