How Journaling Below the Surfaces Grows Our Faith

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of unintentional sin? Sometimes we have default reactions to situations that come out of our mouths before we’ve had a chance to pause and pray. As soon as we react, we wince, knowing it wasn’t a godly response. We confess to God, apologize to anyone we’ve wronged, and ask God to help us not repeat it. And yet, the next time that situation arises, we react the same way.

Trusting Jesus to forgive us of our sins is a one-time act of faith, but becoming more like Jesus in our day-to-day lives is a process that takes a lifetime. A big part of that process involves what the Apostle Paul talks about in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” The world is conforming us to its pattern like clay being pressed into a mold. The media we consume, our relationships with others who don’t know God, and our sinful natures are all actively trying to form us into their mold. But as disciples of Jesus, God tells us to be transformed. How does that transformation happen? By renewing our minds.

I remember looking at my life and wondering, “Okay, but how does that work? How do I renew my mind?” I grew up in a dysfunctional home and came to know Jesus when I was in middle school. As I’ve grown in my faith, gotten married, and had children of my own, I see areas of my life that don’t align with God’s Word—reactions to people and situations that seem to be hard-wired into me, like preprogrammed defaults. 

As we cooperate with the Holy Spirit to grow in our faith, we find that some default reactions have their root in lies about ourselves, lies about God, or lies about others that we have adopted over time. Growth happens when we uncover what’s hiding below the surface and replace it with truth from God’s Word. Sometimes, these wrong ideas about God originate in our childhood and in our family of origin, or they come from coping mechanisms we latched onto as a child. Other times, they grow out of our sinful nature as broken humans. Regardless of where they’re from, we can find victory when we uncover, repent, and replace them with what God says is true in his Word.

Journaling has always been an integral part of my life. As I tried to uncover the lies at the root of my own struggles, I found journaling an incredibly useful tool. Writing down what I was thinking and feeling about my sinful defaults has helped me to grow in self-awareness which is key to growing in Christlikeness and renewing our minds. Rob Reimer, the author of the book Soul Care, explains, “You will never rise above your level of self-awareness. The things we deny about ourselves are the very things that deny us from the fullness of God” (15).

Journaling is a way to reflect on what we’re struggling with and why. Spending prayerful reflection regarding what is working in my life (and what isn’t) has helped me become more self-aware. When I’m struggling with, for example, responding defensively when I do something wrong, journaling helps me look more objectively at the situation. What I was feeling at the time?  What I was thinking that led to those feelings?  What we believe feeds our thoughts, which, in turn, leads to emotions. Our emotions then influence how we act or react. Following the progression backward can help us find the lie at the root.

As you’re journaling through a personal struggle, I’ve found it helpful to use pen and paper to have a prayerful conversation with yourself. Ask God to guide you in getting to the source of the issue. Write down the specifics of the situation—what exactly happened? Who was involved? You might find commonalities that help you see the bigger issue. Is there consistently a person of authority involved? Does it generally involve parenting? Does it always take place in a large social gathering?

Then, look at what you were feeling at those times. Step back and adopt a posture of curiosity rather than self-criticism. Did you feel fear? A need to protect yourself? Panic? Sadness? Get curious about those feelings. Take your cue from the typical three-year-old and ask many “why” questions. Why did you feel that way? What were you  protecting yourself from?

Those emotions are typically influenced by thoughts, that rest just below the surface. Have you ever gone shopping and had a particular song in your head once you left the store? You weren’t consciously listening to the music as you shopped, but it made it into your head anyway. Our thoughts can be like that. They’re playing in the background, and we’re not directly paying attention, but they still influence us. If you can identify them and move them from subconscious thoughts to conscious thoughts, you can bring them into the light and evaluate them. Ask God to illuminate what is going on “behind the scenes.” Those thoughts often involve lies that need to be countered with biblical truth.

With my defensive reactions to criticism, I discovered that I tended to feel attacked and devalued as a person (even when the deliverer of criticism didn’t communicate it that way). Thoughts fed the emotions that I was somehow less valuable if I did something wrong. The lie beneath the surface was that my worth and value were based on my performance.

When I prayed, tried not to react defensively, and memorized Scripture about responding in grace and humility, nothing changed. The verses I reflected upon dealt with my surface actions, but they weren’t getting to the core of the problem. Once I addressed the root issue—finding my value and worth in my identity in Christ rather than in my performance—I studied and meditated on Scripture on that topic and began to see growth and victory.

Once we uncover the lie at the root, we can renew our minds with Scripture and what is true. In my case, that meant dwelling on verses about God’s love, how he has chosen and redeemed me, and how I’m accepted in him apart from my works.

Sanctification is a journey and not something that happens overnight, but thankfully, God is patient and will guide us in becoming more like him. As we cooperate with the Holy Spirit and seek to get to the root of our struggles, we can see victory in these areas that have kept us stuck. Journaling can be a key tool to understanding our struggles and processing them with God so that we become more like Jesus.