Help for When Anxiety Keeps You Up at Night
My daughter’s eyes rolled back to the top of her head as she suddenly lost consciousness.
Just moments before, she had been crying in my wife’s arms, but now my baby girl was eerily silent. We quickly rushed her to the ER where she experienced ten seizures in a span of twelve hours as the medical team scrambled to diagnose the problem.
Throughout that week, she would endure two hospital stays, one ambulance ride, a constant IV drip for anti-seizure medicine, and multiple neurological tests. The diagnosis turned out to be a strong reaction to a virus, but the uncertainty made it so much worse.
That Sunday, I rolled wearily out of the not-so-comfy hospital cot because I was scheduled to guest preach at a church. I hadn’t had much time to prepare the sermon on Psalm 4, but I’d been soaking in its truths all week.
Offer Desperate Prayer
In Psalm 4, David feels trapped and fears for his life. He’s in a tight spot, yet he shows us how to run to God: “Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!” (v. 1). David instinctively cries out in prayer. He remembers God’s past faithfulness and calls out for grace once more.
When our one-year-old daughter experienced yet another seizure in the waiting room, she was wheeled on a gurney into the ER like a scene from a movie. My wife and I stood by helplessly as the medical team swarmed around her unresponsive body, which seemed so tiny on that full-sized hospital bed. Fearful for her safety, our first instinct was to cry out to God—not with long or elaborately worded prayers but simply the expression of urgency: “Help us, Lord! Save our daughter’s life!” Our remembrance of God’s past faithfulness and our confidence in his unfailing love reminded us that he was sovereign even in the storm. We had to wrestle against our sinful anxiety like David in Psalm 4.
Renounce Your Forgiven Shame
David also experiences shame and guilt when he listens to others tell lies about him: “O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame? How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?” (v. 2). He refuses, however, to be defined by them as he claims his identity in the Lord: “But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD hears when I call to him” (v. 3). The God of righteousness has declared David a favored son of Israel and a child of the covenant (Ex. 3:14–15). He has anointed him king and the nation’s covenant representative (2 Sam. 22:51). Thus, David lives among “the godly” who are “set apart” by the Lord’s steadfast love (Ex. 33:16). He reminds himself that the Lord listens when his people pray.
“My wife and I were tempted to question ourselves as parents: “Should we have brought her in sooner? Did we do something wrong?” ”
Once the initial terror wore off, my wife and I were tempted to question ourselves as parents: “Should we have brought her in sooner? Did we do something wrong?” We had to refute those lies by remembering our identity in Christ: “We are chosen and loved. We are prayed for and protected. Even when we fail as parents, we are forgiven of sin and cleansed of our guilt. As God’s children, he is our righteousness and our salvation. We are called by his name and destined for eternal glory, knowing he will never leave us nor forsake us.” We were humbled by those truths as we came to God in prayer.
Repent of Unrighteous Anger
In times of anxiety, David also warns against unrighteous anger: “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent” (v. 4). David brings his anger before the only one who can restore the penitent as he exhorts God’s people to worship: “Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the LORD” (v. 5). David counsels both himself and those around him to trust in God when anger rises in their anxious hearts.
My wife remained hypervigilant that first night as we waited for each new seizure to come. Then as the medication wore off, I held my daughter down as she screamed for hours and tried to rip out her IV. After two sleepless nights and the constant fear of each new setback, my wife and I were ready to snap at each other. We were growing frustrated with the hospital staff and had to hold our tongues to keep from lashing out in anger. Many times, we repented for our sinful thoughts. We read the psalms and counseled one another to trust in God. Our anger was rooted in a deep anxiety which only the Lord could take away.
Trust in God’s Unchanging Goodness
David finally warns against doubting God and despairing in our anxiety: “There are many who say, ‘Who will show us some good?’” (v. 6a). David’s painful circumstances tempt him to wonder if God has stopped acting for his good. Yet in his despair, he instructs his soul to rejoice: “‘Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!’ You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound” (vv. 6b–7). David receives this benediction reserved for Israel (Num. 6:24–26) as God’s comfort reassures him more fully than a bountiful harvest.
“After two sleepless nights and the constant fear of each new setback, my wife and I were ready to snap at each other.”
In those initial days of uncertainty, my wife and I were tempted to fear the worst-case scenario. We had to remind ourselves to trust in God’s unchanging goodness. Only then could we rejoice with God in the midst of our trial. Only then could we fall asleep at night as we trusted the Lord to take care of our daughter. In the words of Charles Spurgeon, “The sovereignty of God is the pillow upon which the child of God rests His head at night, giving perfect peace.” We continue to be grateful for our daughter’s health, but even more grateful for God’s eternal peace in troubling times.
Rest in Peace
David concludes his psalm with the promise of peace: “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety” (v. 8). He rests upon the Lord’s unchanging faithfulness and his promises for the future.
After preaching that Sunday, I returned directly to the hospital to find my daughter fast asleep. I recalled how I had held her through the previous night, repeatedly singing the familiar choruses of “Jesus Loves Me” and “God Is So Good” to calm my heart as well as hers. In that moment, God reminded me that I could trust with confidence in his unfailing love.
This month, my daughter turns four. She’s healthy and happy. She loves to sing and brings constant joy to our family. As her dad, I still get anxious at times, but I’ve learned to pray Psalm 4 in remembrance of God’s faithfulness: Lord, thank you for graciously answering our prayers (v. 1). Fill my mind and heart with your promises when I long for rest (v. 4). Increase my gladness for every good blessing you have given (v. 7) and let me rest secured in you (v. 8).
Thank you, Lord, for each good night’s sleep.
Tom Sugimura is a pastor, church planting coach, and professor of biblical counseling. He writes at tomsugi.com and ministers the gospel at New Life Church. He and his wife, Amanda, are raising four rambunctious children in California. He is the author of Hope for New Dads and Habakkuk: God’s Answers to Life’s Most Difficult Questions.