Grace Beyond Failure

I can’t think of a time I gave up on someone. Not really. But I can think of many times I assumed God might want to give up on me.

Fail enough times, and you can’t help but wonder: is this it? Three strikes and I’m out? I wonder how often we import that type of scorekeeping into a relationship for which it was never intended.

Failure Isn’t the Deciding Factor

John Newton authored “Amazing Grace,” an iconic expression of God’s mercy towards us. In that hymn, he uses the phrase, “a wretch like me.” He wrote about himself, “I was capable of anything; I had not the least fear of God before my eyes.” He was a sailor and then captained his own slave-trading ship for about 4 years – even after his conversion. When he gave up sailing, he began to study Greek and Hebrew, preparing for serious religious study. He applied for opportunities to pastor churches. After several years, he accepted the call to pastor a church in England. God did not set aside John Newton because of his moral failings.

Augustine, another familiar name from history, lived a hedonistic lifestyle. His mother, Monica, prayed and wept for her son for years, convinced he was lost. Although his early behavior confirmed his mother’s concerns, Augustine became one of the most important theologians in church history.

Does that make you wonder whether the failure you rehearse in your life is the thing with which God is most concerned? What if you are measuring yourself by the chapter God is still writing?

Consequence Isn’t Abandonment

However, failure is not insignificant. Scripture is much more complicated than that. God takes sin seriously, and failure can have consequences. The Bible never suggests our choices don’t matter.

God speaks with Moses as a friend (Ex. 33:11). And he experiences judgment for his disobedience at Meribah (Num. 20:6-12). Scripture describes David as a man after God’s heart (Acts 13:22). His sin is great – his relationship with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, Uriah. David confesses his sin, and God forgives him, yetDavid and his family still suffer consequences. God’s grace does not minimize our sin or declare our failures insignificant.

At the same time, Scripture doesn’t present failure as the end of the story. God continues to work in us after our failures and to use us for his glory. Jonah runs in the opposite direction of God’s calling, and still God redirects him with a great fish (Jonah 1-2). Elijah falls apart with fear and despair, and God recommissions him (1 Kings 19). Peter’s story is classic. He denies Jesus three times, and yet Jesus seeks him out, restores him, and gives him a very specific ministry (John 21:15-19).

It’s not that failure doesn’t matter. Failure just doesn’t have to have the last word in our lives. We may still suffer consequences for our actions and lose opportunities. We may not return exactly to the same place we were before we failed. But consequence is not the same thing as abandonment.

Discipline Is His Kindness

God does discipline us. Scripture tells us that he disciplines those he loves and that discipline may be uncomfortable. He exposes our sin, and his kindness leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4). We also know that we are being transformed in his image from one degree of glory to another (2 Cor. 3:18).

When God disciplines us, he convicts us; he doesn’t condemn us. Condemnation is the end of the story; it’s finalBut, in Christ the penalty for our sin is paid. We are no longer under God’s condemnation (Col. 2:13-14).

Condemnation suggests that failure is final, that God is finished with us. Satan uses condemnation and guilt as tools to make us feel like we are worthless in God’s eyes - beyond repair - beyond hope.

However, instead of condemning us, the Holy Spirit convicts us. The Spirit brings our sin into the redeeming light of God’s forgiveness. He washes us clean. The Apostle John reminds us that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. “The blood of Jesus, God’s Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7b).

God sent his only Son to live a perfect life and die a sacrificial death for our sin - yours and mine. He has always known we need redemption, and his plan is perfect. When we accept this amazing gift of God’s grace, God cancels our record of sin (Isa. 43:25).

God created us; he knows our frame. The psalmist states this beautifully, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust (Ps. 103:13-14). We are made a new creation.

“… he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)

We are being conformed to the image of Christ. The sanctifying process is long and slow. Because it is a process, we still fail at times, and the good news is that God does not abandon us when we do. But what do we do when we fail?

The Way Forward

The first thing to do is tell the truth. Name the sin, the decision, the failure. Don’t rationalize or make excuses. State the fact as David did in Psalm 51: “I have sinned against God.” Don’t let shame turn what you did into who you are. Failings don’t have to define us. Paul’s words in Romans are such a blessing! “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).

Second, receive the forgiveness God provides. It’s easy to get caught up in rehearsing our sin, shaming ourselves, almost wallowing in self-pity. Self-condemnation is not repentance. False humility, “I’m just no good,” may actually be refusing to believe what God says is true.

Third, seek restoration if possible. Zacchaeus is given to us as an example (Luke 19). His encounter with Jesus produces a tangible repentance. Zacchaeus didn’t just feel better. He acted on his newfound freedom in Christ, voluntarily giving to the poor and repaying those he cheated. He surpassed the law’s expectations.

Finally, talk to God about what he may be forming in you. Ask a close friend to join you in prayer to help you discern how God wants to use your experience to mature you and help you grow through the lesson, the repentance, and God’s discipline.

God Isn’t Keeping Score

We were sitting in the bleachers. The announcer blared, “That’s three strikes, you’re out!” I felt the disappointment, the failure in that moment. I was grateful once again that those words are not in God’s vocabulary.

Maybe you’ve been keeping score, and you’re concerned your recent failure is the final straw. Maybe you look at the pattern of your life and wonder how God could keep forgiving you. Remember, God knows the whole story. He sees the end from the beginning. He is still writing your story. That failure may be part of the story, but it does not get to write the ending.