God Doesn’t Use Our Anxieties Against Us
When my dad started flying to New York (from Indiana) for work, I’d wonder if he would die in an airplane crash. When we received the call in March 2007 that he died on an airplane in Detroit, my thoughts spiraled. Does God enjoy watching our fears materialize? Would my dad be alive today if I hadn’t imagined him dying? Looking back, I can see this was the beginning of years of misperception over how God responds to our anxious thoughts.
What I’ve found is that while we’re instructed to fear God, that kind of fear must be differentiated from our human fears or anxieties. We can trust God doesn't use our anxiety against us because his love casts it out, and anxiety doesn’t even originate with God. When we rightly perceive God and his affections for us, we can assuredly believe his love is kind, not spiteful.
While I know this to be true, I still worry about various things my children dying young, the house burning down, or my being widowed. But my thought process is faulty, and instead of talking to God honestly about these anxieties, I pray, “God please don’t [insert calamity] to make me prove I trust you.”
“I still worry about various things my children dying young, the house burning down, or my being widowed. ”
Years of reading God’s promise in Romans about how he “works all things together for the good of those who love him” should comfort me (Rom. 8:28). Yet it has served to make me worry that God looks for opportunities to bring pain into our lives, so he can demonstrate how he brings good out of it. This is mentally exhausting, and a gross misperception of God’s love.
Essential Truths Matter
When we’re tempted to think this way, there are a few essential truths to consider.
First, God already knows our thoughts, so he already knows our anxieties (Ps. 139:1–4). There’s nothing magical about an anxious thought that then allows God to act adversely towards us. If he wants to use our anxiety against us, he doesn’t have to wait for us to consciously think about it. When we read the language of Psalm 139, it is intimate and full of praise for God’s omniscience about our being and existence. David even says God’s thoughts are “precious” to him. So it can be comforting, not frightening, to believe God already knows us so well.
Second, anxiety doesn’t originate with God. In the garden, Adam and Eve were given the command to fill, subdue, and rule over the earth (Gen. 1:28). From the start, Adam and Eve had nothing to fear. No wild beasts preyed upon them; no enemies plotted to steal, kill, or destroy. Adam and Eve didn’t know loss, shame, or insecurities (Gen. 2:25).
But when they rebelled, the world’s first humans experienced a strange and uncomfortable feeling; a feeling we know all too well in different forms: fear, worry, anxiety. For the first time ever, Adam and Eve were afraid of their Maker (Gen. 3:10). And now, in a world that turned its back on God, we are bombarded daily with reasons to be anxious.
“In a world that turned its back on God, we are bombarded daily with reasons to be anxious.”
Next, we must remember the wonderful and shocking truth that followers of Jesus are adopted into the family of God. As God’s children, we have peace with him. Because of that total shift in our position with God (from enemy to child), we are no longer slaves to fear; rather, we are recipients of the lavish love of God (Rom. 8:14–16). In 1 John 3:1, the apostle writes, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” And what is love? “That Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” (1 John 3:16). God loves us with sacrificial, parental love.
When we read a verse like Romans 8:28 we can believe that this doesn’t mean God intentionally hurts us just so he can then use it for our good. He has already sacrificially and lovingly overcome sin and all its effects—including anxiety—in the world (1 Cor. 15:57). God isn’t waiting to pounce on us as we speak into existence some specific worry; he rescued us from the source of worry and poured out his steadfast love upon us.
And this steadfast love is the very antidote to anxiety. John tells us, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). He continues to say that we don’t have to fear (or be anxious in) judgment when we have the perfect love of God. God’s love accomplishes far more for us than anxiety does. Because God loves his children, he gives us all the things we need when facing materialized anxiety: safety, rest, comfort, and peace (Ps. 61:2–4; Matt. 11:28–30; Phil. 4:6–7).
So, what about the command to fear God (Prov. 1:7)? Yes, we ought to fear God. Yet fearing God in reverence and awe is completely different than worrying that God will use our anxieties against us. When we rightly fear God, recognizing all he is capable of and justified in doing, it evokes contrition. We kneel in repentance of our sin, then slowly rise in humility, to stand in his imputed righteousness because of his perfect love! First Peter 1:17–21 encourages us to fear God for all he has accomplished for us, not because he wants to hurt us.
Truly, who are we that we should be the recipients of God’s kindness (Rom. 2:4)? Yet, as children of God, we are beneficiaries of his pure kindness, which means we do not receive his wrath. So, by perceiving God correctly with fear (reverent and awe-inspiring), we actually gain a deeper understanding of his mercy and grace towards his children.
Fearing God gives us a clearer lens through which to see his Gospel love for us, fulfilled in his promise of salvation. Thus, we don’t respond in fear of his wrath but rather as his child—the object of his love. So, fear God; he is holy and deserves it. But let that fear inform his perfect love which casts out our own anxieties. If we abide in God, he will help when anxiety materializes, not gloat over us.
From Anxiety to Peace
But anxiety is real, so how do we apply this? As a counselor, I hear about this unwanted feeling frequently. Psychologically, we understand that God created our bodies to signal us (stress) in order to protect us from danger. “Prepare for trouble,” our minds say. And we can be thankful for this feedback, at times, like when being signaled to stop at a red light. But when that stress signal persists (like constant anxiety of my dad dying on a plane), anxiety may block our ability to correctly understand God’s love. So, when address our anxiety we should approach it Theologically and psychologically; because our Theology must inform our psychology.
At the intersection of Theology and psychology, we can integrate coping skills that are evidence-based and set our minds on God. If you’re dealing with anxiety about God’s work in your life, here’s what I recommend. Start by physically relaxing your body. Relaxing our bodies necessarily means it’s harder to be influenced by anxiety or fear. Try something like progressive muscle relaxation or deep breathing. Then intentionally stop the harmful train of thought you’re on, and begin mindfully repeating phrases of biblical truth (specific verses or promises of God). I also recommend praying the Psalms (try Psalm 63 or 139), journaling your fears, and writing what God says about them. Change the narrative from, “God, I’m afraid you’re going to hurt me by ______,” to “God, you already know my anxieties. Cast them out and give me peace.” Doing this combines scriptural truths with effective treatments, such as identifying and changing negative thought patterns.
We may not immediately feel peace (or we might), but with consistency and time, our default thinking will be more naturally inclined to focus on truth rather than lies that perpetuate anxiety. Just as we’re told in Scripture, let’s set our minds on things above and let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts (Col. 3:1–2, 15). We receive peace when we bring our fears to God (Phil. 4:6–7). God offers us a peace that surpasses our understanding (Phil. 4:6), rather than using our deepest anxieties against us.
We need to transform our minds when dealing with anxiety about God’s actions towards us. Would my dad still be alive if I hadn’t feared losing him? No.
God, in his sovereignty, works out his will for our lives long before we can even think. We’re not pawns in his game. So instead of walking on the eggshells of anxiety and perceiving God as intent on harming us, we can set our minds to perceive the truth: God’s children receive only perfect love from him.
Kelly Ottaway is a wife and mother in southwestern Ontario and serves at her local church in various areas. Kelly practices as a Licensed Professional Counselor at a crisis pregnancy center in Ontario and a private practice in Jackson, Michigan. She writes for a Christian infertility organization—Waiting in Hope—and is enjoying pursuing more writing opportunities.