Fighting Bitterness with Beauty When Prayers Go Unanswered
My son and I enjoy hunting together, and if we have a successful season we have enough meat to feed our family all year. On one occasion, we were walking back to the truck bundled up in camo on a cold night. He said something to me, and I quickly snapped back at him. Later, I lay in bed and thought about my reaction. I tried to figure out the source of my frustration and realized it was due to some struggles I was facing and what seemed like a barrage of unanswered prayers.
I thought about recent prayers where I had pleaded with God to work. They weren’t selfish prayers, just requests for God to correct prevalent evil or relieve pain in situations where people were suffering. Why wasn’t God working? Why hadn’t he swooped down and righted the wrongs I was praying against? Why hadn’t he delivered?
The most natural answer is that there must be something wrong with me. Perhaps I wasn’t faithful enough, or maybe it was some sin in my life. While these are certainly possibilities to be considered, they are not always the answer. Oftentimes, the Lord works in ways we don’t understand, and he never seems to work on the timetable we’ve established.
Leaning on Him
As we enter the new year, I find Proverbs 3:5–6 on repeat in my mind:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
These verses are so popular that they’ve become cliché, but they are the Word of God so don’t let their familiarity cause you to overlook them. Perhaps they’ve become so popular because they deal with one of the most difficult things we as humans struggle with: trusting God instead of ourselves.
“Lean not on your own understanding.” It can often be true, perhaps more than we realize, that our understanding is opposed to trusting in God. What seems to our finite minds the right way that God should answer our prayer can simply be wrong. Proverbs 14:12 states, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” We can pray for his will to be done then still get upset when he doesn’t do ours. When we can’t understand why God hasn’t worked the way we think he should, we are to trust that the Lord knows better than we do. We are to trust his ways instead of our understanding.
I see this in my relationship with my kids. As much as I love them, I must often withhold something that seems good to them. Their young minds can’t understand why I won’t let them ride their bikes in the street, eat another candy bar, or stay up later. It seems like such a harmless request to them, but I have a better understanding of what is good for them and make my decisions accordingly. Sometimes I give them their requests, but other times I love them too much to do so. Trying to explain it to them often doesn’t work, so I just look into their tear-filled eyes and tell them, “I know you don’t understand, but trust that I love you and I’m doing what’s best for you.”
It’s easy to trust the Lord when he works the way I want him to. It’s easy to trust the Lord when my life seems to be going well. It’s easy to tell others to trust the Lord when they don’t understand. But, when I don’t understand why God doesn’t answer my prayers, trusting him can be one of the hardest commands to keep. The Lord never promised that we’ll understand all his ways, but he promised he’ll always work for our good and his glory. When I don’t understand, the Lord uses Proverbs 3:5–6 to look into my tear-filled eyes and tell me, “I know you don’t understand, but trust that I love you and I’m doing what’s best for you.”
He’s never failed me before.
In spite of God’s faithfulness, I can easily grow frustrated or bitter when prayers go unanswered, and I don’t understand why. How can we fight such frustration and keep bitterness from completely drowning out hope? One of the best antidotes is to revel in the beauty of the Lord. Seeing his greatness assures my restless heart that it can rest in him. Taking time to notice his beauty as it is revealed in his Word and in creation reminds me of the power and majesty of God that’s easy to forget in dark times.
God’s Beauty in His Word
It’s easy to overlook God’s beauty when I rush through his Word just to check it off my list. But, those days when the Spirit awakens me to the powerful truth of what I’m reading, I slow down enough to take in the wonders of our majestic God. I’m amazed by his powerful Word in speaking everything into existence in Genesis.
Reading Isaiah 40 overwhelms me with the power of his majesty as he measures the waters in the hollow of his hand and weighs the mountains on a scale. His creativity is on full display when I read about him giving speed to the ostrich and commanding the eagle to mount up in Job 38–40. The Gospels highlight the compassion and mercy of Jesus for broken sinners, and also his stern warning for the self-righteous. I’m overcome with joy and longing as I read in Revelation 21 about the new heavens and the new earth where one day Christ and his church will dwell together forever. Savoring the beauty of God in his word refocuses my heart on what’s good and true and keeps me from plunging into the sea of bitterness.
God’s Beauty in Creation
His beauty is also on display through creation. I get a glimpse of God’s majesty by gazing at the tall pine trees reaching to heaven in praise. The power of a storm overwhelms me as the lightning crackles across the sky followed by the heart-stopping boom of thunder. I see his creativity as I watch our chickens use their feet as rakes to move the leaves that shield the delicious insects below. I get a sense of his protection as I watch my wife nurture our children and bandage their wounds. The wonder in the eyes of my three-year-old as I read him a story challenges me to have the same wonder at the greatness of our God, whom we cannot completely comprehend in this sin-filled world.
When frustration calls and bitterness looms, when prayers go unanswered and trust is difficult, look afresh to God’s Word and his creation for glimpses of his beauty, power, and majesty. Basking in the glory of God doesn’t change my circumstances, but it often changes my disposition and the attitude of my heart. Being reminded of the glory and power of God helps me to see that he has a plan and is able to execute it. Don’t let the bitterness and frustration overwhelm you but let God’s beauty stir your heart to worship . . . even when you don’t understand.
James Williams serves as Associate Pastor at FBC Atlanta, Texas, and as a GCD staff writer. He and his wife, Jenny, are blessed with four children and are actively involved in foster care. He is passionate about beholding the beauty of our Lord and helping others do the same. He enjoys writing, running, and gardening. You can follow James on Twitter or his blog where he writes regularly.