Dad’s, First You’re a Son
I’m a husband, a father, a pastor, a son, a brother, and a friend. If we lived in a world where an omniscient teacher handed out grades for our performance, I’m pretty sure I would get my highest marks as a dad. I love being a dad.
It’s supposed to be that way. God has granted us a gift in allowing us to take on the role of being a father. There is only one true Father. God graciously allows us to reflect his fatherly relationship with us to our children. What a weighty responsibility!
For some of you, that burden brings you shame this week. Father’s Day reminds you of the ways you have neglected your kids. Perhaps your neglect came through your cutting tongue, which spoke harsh words which hurt your children (Eph. 6:4). Perhaps you damaged your children by your poor example. Perhaps your kids were negatively impacted by your absence. The cloud of guilt and shame might lay thick on you this Father’s Day as you consider how you squandered the opportunity God gave you as a father.
To be a father is to reflect God’s character. What kind of father is our Heavenly Father? He is a loving father. In Psalm 103:13, David reflects, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” In Psalm 68:4–5, David tells us that he is a protector, “Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts; his name is the LORD; exult before him! Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.”
Paul tells us that God is a comforting father, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3–4). In the parable of the prodigal son (Tim Keller rightly suggests that it is more appropriate to call it the parable of the prodigal God), Jesus tells us that the character of God is generous, merciful, forgiving, and celebratory (Luke 15:11–32). Who is like our Father? He is good beyond measure!
Solomon reminds us that while God is a merciful Father, he isn’t permissive. He disciplines those he loves. “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Prov. 3:11–12). God forms our character to reflect his.
In short, God is the perfect father. He is the father we ought to aspire to be.
But here is the twist. As incredible it is for God to allow us to be called “father” and reflect his fatherhood to our children, it is not who we are. Dads, as beautiful of a gift as fatherhood is, it is a role, not an identity. Your worth is in your adoption: your sonship. Your value is not in what you have done as a father; it is in what your father has done for you.
Dads, do you know that no matter how good or bad a dad you are, no matter what pride you have as a father, or shame you carry for your failures, neither defines you?
“Dads, do you know that no matter how good or bad a dad you are, no matter what pride you have as a father, or shame you carry for your failures, neither defines you?”
In Paul’s introduction to the church at Ephesus, he sings praise to our spiritual Father. He rhapsodizes, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” (Eph. 1:3–5). What an incredible truth! Our Heavenly Father predestined us for adoption as his sons! He did so not because of what we had done, but because of his gracious will. He loved us when we were unlovable. He chose us when we were enemies. And he has purposed to give us an eternal inheritance!
The gift of our adoption as sons doesn’t stop at our salvation and inheritance, though. God invites us to crawl into his lap and talk to him as our loving Father. Jesus teaches the disciples to begin their prayers not with airs, but with reverent affection, “Our Father” (Matt. 6:9). In Romans 8:15, Paul says, “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”
The responsibility of fatherhood can be overwhelming. How can we be a father like our Heavenly Father? How can we possibly reflect his compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and discipline? Jesus’s words at the Sermon on the Mount echo in our hearts, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matt. 5:48). The standard is impossibly high for us fathers. We can only begin to step into God’s calling for us as fathers when we receive his acceptance of us as his sons.
It is from the overflow of grace given to us by our Heavenly Father in our adoption that we can begin to love as he loves.
Dads, you are sons—forgiven, loved, known, and cared for just as you are. Forgive out of the abundance of Christ’s forgiveness. Love out of the overflow of his love for you. Discipline not out of fear, but because he cared enough to discipline you.
Happy Father’s Day, fellow sons.
John Beeson serves as co-lead pastor at New Life Bible Fellowship in Tucson, Arizona. He attended Gordon College and Princeton Theological Seminary and is married with two kids. He blogs at The Bee Hive. He is the coauthor of Blogging for God’s Glory in a Clickbait World.