Counseling in the Community of the Local Church
John and Kate’s marriage has been torn apart. They fight all the time and are ready to file for divorce. Yet instead of going to another church or seeking outside help, they confide in their small group about their problems. This group consists of fellow believers with whom John and Kate have prayed, laughed, and studied the Bible for years. They banded together when Jamie went through chemo and when Sal was out of work for a season. They cared for each others’ children and celebrated holidays around the barbecue grill. As John and Kate tearfully pour out their sorrows, their small group surrounds them with love.
Counseling functions best in Christian community as we have been made for relationship with God and with each other (Gen. 1:26–27; 2:18). Throughout history, this soul care primarily took place in the local church, for those who receive God’s grace are well-suited to graciously encourage fellow strugglers (Rom. 15:14). Help may sometimes be found outside the church but must never be found apart from the church. For this reason, healthy church members find it normal to care for and to counsel one another with God’s Word. In Hebrews 10, we witness three ways to cultivate a godly community for counseling.
Confident Assurance
The church first encourages one another with the confident assurance availed in Christ. As the writer of Hebrews urges fellow believers, “We have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus” (Heb. 10:19). Christ’s blood offers forgiven saints full access to the Father “by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh” (v. 20). Our Lord’s sacrifice frees us from sin’s power and his “living” way leads to the abundant life. His body was given for us and his blood shed to remove the separation between God and man. Therefore, we enter God’s throne room with hope not on the basis of our good works, but by the work of our great High Priest (vv. 21–22). The church encourages believers to approach the Lord eagerly in prayer, “for he who promised is faithful” (v. 23). Such confident assurance emboldens God’s children to seek forgiveness for sin and comfort for suffering.
As they pray together, John and Kate’s small group reminds them that all their shame and guilt has been taken away. The Son of God serves as their eternal High Priest, sympathizing with their human weaknesses as he ushers them before the throne of grace (4:15–16). Christ himself was sinned against, surrounded by conflict in a fallen world, and afflicted with agony at the cross. Yet by doing so, he cleared the way for his Father to hear John and Kate’s prayers, to comfort them in grief, and to accept them fully through union with Christ. They appeal for grace as children of their forever-faithful God. This is how the church encourages one another with confident assurance to joyfully enter God’s presence.
Communal Agitation
God’s church also provides the proper environment for communal agitation: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (10:24). Agitation connotes a sudden convulsion or violent emotion. Yet the church helps to polish life’s irritants into pearls of “love and good works.” “Let us consider” reveals how godly provocation takes place in the context of “one another” community. The church intentionally stirs up love among diverse people held together mainly by their common union in Jesus Christ. Spiritual transformation then flourishes within the church community that is “not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (v. 25). The gathered church exhorts each other through corporate worship, loving fellowship, studying God’s truth, and rejoicing in the presence of Christ. The church also ministers to those who suffer physical ailments, emotional struggles, and hardships in a broken world.
John and Kate need to forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven them (Eph. 4:32). They must be restored by God’s abundant grace as they pursue the good works he has set apart for them (Eph. 2:4–10). Their struggles at home often keep them away from the church, but their small group doesn’t give up. They remain a godly irritant to show that marriage was meant to celebrate Christ instead of either husband or wife (Eph. 5:21–33). They constantly remind John and Kate that the church is the bride of Christ, fellow worshipers, and heirs of God who eagerly await that glorious Day as it draws near. The church must not neglect to meet together, for she worships a Savior and Lord who is greater than suffering and greater than sin.
Courageous Admonition
Finally, the church empowers one another through courageous admonition. The writer of Hebrews adds a warning: “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins” (Heb. 10:26). Unrepentant sin comprises open rebellion against the Almighty Creator and will surely be met with judgment (vv. 27–31). Those who deny the Savior’s protection are fully exposed to the Father’s wrath.
Although Kate strives to grow in her faith, John willfully sabotages the marriage relationship. So, one day, the men in his small group pull him aside. They lovingly confront the serious nature of John’s unconfessed sin and call him to return to the fellowship of Christ (Matt. 18:15–17). One of the men insists on meeting with John regularly to help him fight this battle. Their appeal for genuine repentance belongs in the community of God’s church as they courageously admonish each other to live according to God’s promises and commands (1 Thes. 5:14). At various times, we all need such patient encouragement to seek the Lord in prayer, to do good works in love, and to confess our stubborn sin.
While John and Kate and their story has been made up, they do represent the stories of couples who regularly receive counsel in our church. And by God’s grace, we have seen many such marriages restored and relationships mended. This has served to reinforce our conviction that the community of the local church is not the only place to receive counseling, but it is the primary place.
Tom Sugimura serves as a pastor, church planting mentor, and professor of biblical counseling. He writes at tomsugi.com and ministers the gospel at New Life Church. He is also the author of Soul Care in the Psalms and Hope for New Dads: 40 Days in the Book of Proverbs.