As You Wish Discipleship (#25)
[A note from our Managing Editor: Tim Shorey, pastor and author, is one of our Gospel-Centered Discipleship staff writers. Tim is also currently battling stage 4 prostate cancer. On Facebook and CaringBridge, he’s writing about his journey. We’re including some of his posts in a series on our website called “The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven.” To preserve the feel of a daily journal rather than a published work, we have chosen not to submit these reflections to a rigorous editing process.]
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Dear Journal,
I am coming to believe that one essential part of true saving faith is a growing willingness to surrender and let God be God, even when his choices and plans do not line up with mine.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. God does many things to refine our faith, and to test our willingness to trust him even when we cannot understand him. He works mysteriously and unevenly, and then expects us to follow along in faith.
Peter is released from prison, but not James (Acts 12:1–11).
Thousands of early believers live long to tell about it, but Stephen dies early on (Acts 8:1–3).
The wicked flourish, but not the righteous (Psa. 73:1–4).
One man is blind from birth but another sees clearly (John 9:1–3).
Many get healed by Paul from their ailments, but not Paul, himself (Acts 28:8–9; 2 Cor. 12:7–8).
Multitudes of the sick, the blind, and the lame are at the Pool of Bethesda, hoping to be healed, but only one is (John 5:2–9).
A few are raised from the dead, but simple observation of human existence tells us that most are not.
Paul evangelized to get many saved, but many of his own relatives were still lost, to his great and anguished sorrow (Rom. 9:1–3).
I am learning that an essential part of following Jesus is a willingness to live with such mysteries, and to manifest a servant-hearted surrender to God’s decisions or authority. I may grieve, but I must have a view of God that trusts a wisdom that I cannot understand; and then surrenders, even while I am weeping—and others are rejoicing (Rom. 12:15).
Peter’s conversation with Jesus after the resurrection and before his ascension makes the point clearly. Jesus tells Peter how he (Peter) is going to suffer and die. This provokes Peter to wonder why he is going to suffer and die one way, while a fellow disciple may not suffer the same way at all, and might even remain alive until Jesus comes back again.
To all of Peter’s confused consternation, Jesus responds, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me” (John 21:18–23). To follow Jesus in humble discipleship is to accept whatever his plan and will is for my life, even if he has a different plan for others.
There will be times when it seems like our Lord treats others better than he treats me. I need to be okay with that, for he is The Master, and I am not. Did he not say to those who questioned his uneven treatment of others, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me” (Matt. 20:14–16).
Isaiah’s words are so familiar now, that they flow by us almost unnoticed: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than yours and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:8–9).
In part that means that God is planning to treat all of us according to his wisdom and purposes, and not ours. And I need to bow my head and bend my knee in response; trusting him implicitly through it all. I am coming to see that those words demand a pure and humble faith, for me to accept what I do not want. But am I willing?
Discipleship surrender says: “Lord, let it be to me as you will. You may heal others, but not me. You may save others’ loved ones, but not mine. You may prosper others’ bank accounts, but leave mine empty. You may bless my marriage or leave me unmarried. You may give others 80 years of life and me less than seventy. You may give others healthy children, and yet permit mine to suffer. You may cause one man’s ministry to flourish, and let mine languish.”
These are simple undeniable realities. God is God and he makes, sustains, heals, afflicts, prospers, gifts, deploys, benches, recalls, and gives the last breath to, every last one of us, according to his planning and timing. Mr. Lewis would have put it simply by reminding us that God is not a safe or tame lion, after all. He is neither predictable, nor fathomable.
But we must know that he is good. And in knowing this, it is ours simply to respond:
“As you wish, my Lord. As you wish.”
* You can read all the posts in this series here.