Why Resting Is More Important Than Relaxing
Most of my evenings follow a similar pattern. After cleaning up the dinner mess, there are a couple more hours of entertaining our daughter. We watch a TV show, I convince her that she doesn’t need to watch anymore, and then we do a bedtime routine that makes us more tired than her.
Once my daughter is down for bed, my wife and I walk through the house, clearing the debris and destruction left by a toddler-sized tornado. If there’s no immediate errand to check off or house project to complete, our reward is a moment of peace and quiet on our comfy couch.
I’ve earned that indentation on my sofa. Now I can put my feet up and punch out on the adulting clock for a bit.
After all the responsibilities of a day, I’m worn out. Most days, my tank is empty. Whatever your life and schedule look like, I’m guessing you can relate. Like an overused battery, we feel drained. What we desire is rest. We need to be recharged.
When you get to this point, do you prioritize relaxing or resting? Because there’s a difference.
THE ALLURE OF RELAXATION
We all long to find a deep exhale at the end of a weary day, but too often we settle for relaxing over resting. Because we’re tired, we want to veg-out. Maybe that means flipping on Netflix or binging some TV show. Maybe it’s scanning the internet or scrolling through social media. You only plan to do it for a little while, but before long, the time has flown by, and now you need to sleep before it all starts again tomorrow.
You’re now discouraged or frustrated. Despite an hour or two of inactivity, you don’t feel recharged. You feel just as empty as when you first plopped down.
Let me pause and issue a clarification: I’m not against TV, smartphones, social media, or other forms of entertainment. The YouTube vortex of watching clips from The Office sucks me in on a regular basis. I enjoy these common-grace gifts, sometimes too much.
Nor am I against relaxation in general. It’s okay to have an evening to chill—especially if you learn what kinds of activities energize rather than empty you. I’m not a curmudgeon out to stop your fun, pile on the guilt, or wag my finger at how you use your downtime.
What I do want to help us think through is the difference between relaxing and resting. Relaxing can be a good thing. But when we confuse resting and relaxing, we miss out on the refreshment gained from resting in Christ.
RESTING VS. RELAXING
While it’s subjective, I’m referring to “relaxing activities” as anything not work-related that takes your mind off the stressors in life but doesn’t refill your cup. Relaxation provides a break, but it doesn’t re-energize or renew you. It distracts but rarely replenishes. While the distractions of relaxing are almost always easier up front, when we choose the hard work of seeking rest, it’s worth it in the end.
“Relaxation provides a break, but it doesn’t re-energize or renew you. It distracts but rarely replenishes.”
Rest comes when we get our eyes off of self and off of the things of this world and onto God and his Word. This is why relaxing is limited in its benefits. Relaxing offers a distraction—which we sometimes need—that keeps our eyes on the plane of our own horizon. But resting can lift our gaze so we see things so beautiful, satisfying, and hopeful that our souls are nourished like a garden drenched by a fresh rain.
There are many things that can lift our eyes like this and offer rest. A few examples that come to mind are reading the Bible, reading books that point to big truths, journaling or writing, mindfully enjoying God’s creation, meaningful conversation, time with friends or family, gathering with believers, singing, prayer, serving others, physical activities, or using your God-given gifts to complete a personal project.
Each of us will have different things that offer rest depending on our personalities, passions, and circumstances.
A BIG EXHALE IN THE GOSPEL
The deepest rest that can wash over us comes through the finished work of Jesus. We need to let our hearts and mind lay down and stretch out on the king-sized comforts in rehearsing the gospel. This kind of rest is a blood-bought gift from Jesus. He invites us to find rest in him. Matthew 11:28–30 offers these hopeful words from Jesus:
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus’ promise is for the weary Christian, whether from the draining disillusionment of life’s circumstances, fatigue from mounting tasks and pressures, tiredness from fighting those same thorny sins each day, or the exhaustion that can flood us during painful trials. While in this world we will endure troubles and taste weariness, but in the refuge of Christ, we can experience peace and rest (Jn. 14:27).
Resting in Christ allows us to empty our soul-sucking burdens and cares onto Jesus. As we cast off these weights and draw near to him, there’s freedom as worry gives way to peace, anxiety gives way to trust, self-absorption gives way to worship, and the discouragement of this world makes room for joy from beyond.
“When we feel crushed by the load of our own failures or trusting in our performance, there’s rest that comes by rehearsing the freeness and fullness of grace in the gospel.”
When we feel crushed by the load of our own failures or trusting in our performance, there’s rest that comes by rehearsing the freeness and fullness of grace in the gospel. Take in the good news like a deep-breath, filling your spiritual lungs with the life-giving oxygen of God’s promises.
When everyone around us, including the ones we love most, asks us to “give, give, give” until we have nothing left, there is rest in a Savior who tells us we can freely receive all good things from him. His agenda is not what he can get from us but what he can give to us.
There is rest for the restless and weary in Jesus.
CHOOSE THE BETTER THING
Ask yourself, at the end of a day or the week, do you tend to choose relaxing or resting? What things do you do to relax? How do you feel afterward? What things do you do to find rest? How do you feel afterward? In your home, do you model choosing rhythms that bring rest or only relaxation?
The goal isn’t to feel guilty for relaxing or eliminate it from our lives, but to add more soul-sustaining, rest-giving options into the mix. For most of us, a good start would be to cut in half the time we relax and give that time to a truly restful activity. As we evaluate how we use our time and the things we engage in, it’s helpful for the health of our souls to know if in this moment we’re trying to relax versus seeking to rest.
Relaxing and resting are both good. But like how Jesus told Martha that Mary “chose the better” by resting in him rather than serving him (Luke 10:38–42), we can choose what’s best by prioritizing rest over relaxation. I know the irritation of thinking relaxing will fuel me only to feel empty and left frustrated. But I also know what it’s like to take Jesus at his words by drawing near to him, handing over the weight of my burdens, and finding refreshment at the never-ending fountain of his gospel of grace.
In the tasks, trials, temptations, burdens, and busyness of life, Jesus offers you rest. You’ll be tempted to settle for relaxing day after day, but instead, prioritize the kind of rest that truly renews you.
Dustin Crowe serves as the pastor of discipleship at College Park Church Fishers in Indiana. You can follow him on Twitter or visit his blog.