The Power of Words

One of my daughters loves to quote the line from the movie Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian when General Custer shouts, “We’re Americans. We don’t plan, we do!” She cracks me up every time she says it! While there is humor in that particular movie scene (and even more so in my daughter’s reenactment of it), there is also a sobering truth worth contemplating when it comes to our words. Do we take the time to plan before we speak, giving special thought to the power our tongues hold? Or do we simply spew at the mouth, not concerning ourselves with the impact our words can have?

Words are incredibly powerful. With words, God created order out of nothing. With words, Jesus calmed the raging sea. With words, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. The authority of divine words reverberates every single day as the Son of God “upholds the universe by the word of his power” (Heb. 1:3). Since human beings are made in the image of God, our words hold great weight as well. We may not be able to speak galaxies into existence, but our words are indeed powerful. Scripture teaches that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21), and we know this power is real because each of us has felt the crushing blow of hurtful words as well as the uplifting boost of encouraging ones.

What does it mean to speak death or to speak life? My daughter—the same one who quotes General Custer on a regular basis—and I had to have this very conversation recently. We had both spoken hastily in ways that caused pain to each other. As we repented and forgave one other, we talked about the importance of life-giving speech. Paul commands us, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29). In times of encouragement and praise, as well as in times of correction and discipline, the end goal of our speech should be the building up of the other person. We speak life when our words are aimed toward that end.

When the recipient of our words is someone with whom we share a familial or friendly relationship, pursuing the goal of building that person up is easy. We have no desire to tear down our children, our family members, or our closest friends. We want to extend grace to them, to share the love of Christ with them, and to see them built up in the Lord. But what about the times when the recipient of our words is a bully of a person or a direct opponent of ours for whatever reason? Are we interested in building those people up as well? What would such a conversation even look like?

Jesus challenges us on this issue with a series of questions in his Sermon on the Mount, then follows up those questions with instructions for how we should treat our enemies:

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. . . . But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil” (Luke 6:32–33, 35).

These challenging instructions are not easy to follow. How do we bring ourselves to love our enemies and build them up? Two words: We remember. We remember that God called us by name while we were still his enemies. We remember the call of salvation that broke us over our sin. We remember the death-defying words that raised our lifeless souls from the dead.

When we speak life to others, whether friends or foes, we are offering a precious gift of grace. With our words, we have the opportunity to lead someone to Christ in terms of salvation or sanctification. What a privilege! While God moves in a person’s heart, he allows us to be part of the process. Our role involves words, and those words may take the form of a gospel presentation, a gentle rebuke, a calm response, a memorized verse, or a personal prayer. There are a number of ways we can speak life to others, but we must be intentional.

How can we be intentional and commit to building others up instead of tearing them down? Matthew answers this question for us when he says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). We cannot simply decide to speak life. This tactic might work in the short term, but the true contents of our hearts can only be concealed for so long. In order for our mouths to speak life, our hearts must be full of life. We must examine our hearts daily to destroy the sin we find there. We must also be intentional about the influences we are allowing into our hearts. Input determines output. If our eyes, ears, and minds are constantly influenced by the things of this world, our words will overflow from a heart of worldliness. On the contrary, if we store up God’s Word in our hearts, our words will speak life to a world in desperate need of love and grace. Psalm 119:11 says, “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” When we engage in conversation, what evidence is there that God’s Word is stored up in our hearts? Is sin apparent in our speech or in our delivery?

The particular words we speak are important in stating a certain position, but our posture is just as important as the position we hold. We can be absolutely right in what we say and at the same time be incredibly wrong in how we say it. Whether we are disciplining our children or debating someone over a political issue, our demeaner matters. Pastor and theologian Richard Baxter wisely advises, “Take heed to yourselves, lest your example contradict your doctrine . . . lest you unsay with your lives, what you say with your tongues” (The Reformed Pastor). May we take this charge seriously as we aspire to build others up and not tear them down.

Unfortunately, such behavior is not the norm in our culture. Our fast-paced world does not have the patience to wait for thoughtful answers. Social media platforms and news media outlets demand instantaneous responses, and they seem to thrive on outrage. Gentleness and careful consideration do not sell or entertain, especially in a presidential election year. While such toxicity may keep us glued to our screens, it is desensitizing us to the needs of our neighbors. We do not have to look far or for long to find God’s people imitating angrily impassioned talk show hosts who tear image-bearers apart with their graceless words. We must commit ourselves to the high calling of loving our neighbors as ourselves. Patiently thinking before we speak can be the difference between life or death to those who hear us. We cannot control how someone receives our words, but we can most certainly grow in exercising wise dominion over our mouths.

Our tongues hold great power. We must take such power seriously. Simply thinking before we speak can make a huge difference. Better yet, praying before we speak can purify our hearts so that we can best build up those who hear us. What words can we intentionally speak today that will bring life to those around us and glory to God above?