Our Disagreements Are Different from the World’s
Everyone disagrees with everyone, and no one is afraid to say so. It seems as if nothing can bring us together. Even death does not evoke enough sympathy. An ideological opponent goes to meet their Maker. What is the chorus? Yes, praise from some, for sure. But how many Tweets begin with, “I didn’t always agree with them but . . .” What a eulogy. We start with our disagreements.
Being of the same mind is easy to overlook in the wider world. Politics are driven by division. Corporations set themselves against one another. Cities sit on opposite sides in football stadiums. What separates us is, in most instances, what defines us. That is why inter-departmental strife wreaks havoc on internal office cultures. It is why neighbors can so often only bring themselves to a short head-nod to one another as they check the mail and walk the dog (and also why the neighborhood Facebook page is maybe the most insidious place on the internet).
But what about inside the church? Is it possible to be of the same mind? The Apostle Paul certainly thought so.
With One Mind
Paul knew he needed to address the divisions within the Philippian church. At least two parties stood against one another. We read part of their story near the end of the letter. “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life” (Phil. 4:2–3).
Euodia and Syntyche couldn’t agree on something. Paul spares us the manner and topic of the disagreement, but those who have been in a church for any length of time know the feeling. It is difficult when things go sideways. Two people can create a firestorm of problems for everyone else, and before you know it, sides are formed.
It is likely this disagreement that, in part, prompts Paul to open his letter with these words in 1:27. “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.”
Inside Christ’s church, it is possible to be of one mind no matter how far apart we are at any given point. This is true because Jesus is our Head (Col. 1:18). He is the one who unites us. We can stay mad at each other if we want to, but if Jesus has saved us both, we’re going to spend eternity together with him. It makes sense then to find a way to live together now. Our differences may never disappear. We may continue to struggle to find real friendship. But we have no excuse not to try.
Help One Another
What is so striking about Paul’s entreaty to Euodia and Syntyche is his involvement of the entire church. These days, the best plan of action seems to be to keep the disagreements inside the church a secret. Separate the parties. Talk in whispers about the problem. Don’t let the cat out of the bag. Meet next Sunday and put on the happy face. Continue inviting others into the church that’s on fire while blowing smoke out the back door. But rather than avoid the conflict, Paul not only addresses it but also calls on others to act in it. He wants the church to help these women.
Many churches talk about being like family. Of course, what is often meant in those conversations is that the church should be the ideal family. The family at the dinner table laughing over the day’s events. The family at the reunion with no one to avoid because of bad blood. The family on vacation where no one is grumpy and everyone’s expectations are being met. But where does that family exist? Our real families are messy. So are our real churches.
At some point or another, we all need help to get along. We all need a call back to peace and love and forgiveness. We need help to agree with one another.
Agree in the Lord
Too often we try to smooth differences over by downplaying the disagreement. We change the subject. We look on the bright side. We give the benefit of the doubt. We should do more of that! But there is another goal at which Paul aimed. The disagreement between the two women may have been very important to both. It may have been over a major issue. Given distance and time, it is easy to skip over what was to them a very real problem. But Paul doesn’t ask for their agreement on all things; he asks for agreement on one thing: the Lord.
Paul wanted them to agree in the Lord. That is only possible if we are actually joined to the Lord. Only if he has brought both parties into himself can we find a way forward despite our differences. Theologians call that union with Christ. When Christ saves us, he unites us to himself. We are now one with him, as a head with a body (1 Cor. 12), as a wife with her husband (Eph. 5), as branches with the vine (John 15). That changes everything. Our whole reality is different because of it. For example: maybe you feel weak, but the truth is that because you are united to Christ, you have the industrial-strength Jesus holding you up. Maybe you feel insecure in your relationship with God, but the truth is because you are united to Christ, you are as secure as Christ is. Whatever he is, you are now by this union. You cannot think of yourself apart from him. You are united to him forever, by his grace and for his glory.
That has an impact on how we disagree with one another, doesn’t it? If I’m in Christ and you’re in Christ and we disagree, the nature of our disagreement is not like the disagreements we find out in the world. How could it be? We’re members together in Christ's body! How does your hand disagree with your leg so that it cuts it off because it disagrees? That’s unthinkable. So it should be between two believers in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Our Disagreements Are Different Now
We disagree on entirely different terms than the world. The gospel knows nothing of cancel culture. Paul urged these ladies to let what was most true about them—their union with Christ—overcome whatever separated them. He wanted them to get on the same page with one another for Jesus’s sake and for the advancement of the gospel. He wanted them to think with the Lord’s mind, not their own. As he said in Philippians 2:2, “Complete my joy by being of the same mind.”
We have something holy joining us together because the Holy One has joined us to himself. That changes things. It means we don’t have an option to disagree without seeking peace. Paul knew all too well that it’s possible for our disagreements to get so much in the way that there isn’t another option but separation (Acts 15:36–39). But that shouldn’t be the norm. Too often we give up way too easily, and too often those watching just let it happen. After all, in our day there is another church down the road. But one day, Jesus will cleanse us totally and remake us entirely and we will live in harmony with one another for eternity. If he will do that then, can he not give us a taste of it now as we look to him for the grace to help?
David McLemore is an elder at Refuge Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He is married to Sarah, and they have three sons and one daughter. Read more of David’s writing on his blog, Things of the Sort.