Living for Your Progress and Joy: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven (#20)

[A note from our Managing Editor: Tim Shorey, pastor and author, is one of our Gospel-Centered Discipleship staff writers. Tim is also currently battling stage 4 prostate cancer. On Facebook and CaringBridge, he’s writing about his journey. We’re including some of his posts in a series on our website called “The Potter’s Clay: Faith Reflections from a Cancer Oven.” To preserve the feel of a daily journal rather than a published work, we have chosen not to submit these reflections to a rigorous editing process.]

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Living for Your Progress and Joy in Your Faith

April 22, 2024

Dear Journal,

Early morning thoughts flooded me after a visit with our grandchildren yesterday.

While in jail with the prognosis of possible martyrdom hanging over his head, Paul writes to the Philippians: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me . . . to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account . . . Convinced of this , I know that I will remain and continue with you, for your progress and joy in the faith” (Phil. 1:21, 22, 24, 25).

My question is: “In what way was it necessary for their progress and joy in faith” for Paul to remain alive and continue with them? That’s a pretty relevant question for a man like me who’s been given a short prognosis but who’s also showing indications that he (I) might live a bit longer than first estimated.

Was Paul saying that he was so indispensable that he had to live a while longer? Did God need Paul? No. When God’s kingdom needs someone to get something done, he doesn’t need any one specific person. He can always raise someone else up to fill the gap (cf. Esther 4:14). And God could have raised up a thousand “Paul-replacements,” which in fact he did some time later. So what does Paul mean? 

Well, I don’t fully know. But I suspect that it goes something like this: The Philippians and others were in a place where they were still less-than-fully mature and needed to “progress in their faith and joy,” and because of God’s preparing and timing in Paul’s life, he was in the best place and position to help them grow into that faith and joy.

It’s quite possible that keeping Paul alive and moving him back into the Philippians lives for a while longer was God’s most efficient and effective way of providing the exact help and growth that they needed. What they needed was not Paul per se. What they needed was greater faith and joy, and Paul was the one God had best prepared to get that done. So he had to stay alive for a while!

As I consider my life, sickness, and confusing prognosis, I have no illusions that God needs me in any literal way. That’s silly! True, there may be people in my life or near to it, who need to “progress in faith and joy” (as Paul puts it), and it’s possible that I may be the one that God has positioned to help them to that end, for which he will keep me alive a while longer.

But that’s not because I’m indispensable; it’s only because God is in the business of equipping and deploying his kingdom workers (which includes everyone who believes in Jesus)—and he’s been equipping and deploying me for some still unknown ends.

Believe me, I live so conscious of my weakness and mortality that I’d never think that I’m indispensable. I’m not that important that God has to keep me alive to reach certain people for Christ. I believe he can very easily find someone else to do what needs to be done. 

It feels more than a little bit delusional for me to think that God needs me. But might there be people who need greater faith and joy whom God can bring into my extended life so that I can help harvest that faith and joy in their lives? I think so.

And might there be great joy in that, not only for them, but for me? I think so.

So Lord, if that’s how you want to use me, as much as death is gain because death takes me to Jesus, I’m willing to stay on a while longer. 

It makes me wonder who those people might be that God has me in mind. On the other hand, my time may be nearly up because there are plenty others who can do what I can do!

But still I wonder: are there any who are going to need to progress in faith and joy that God has prepared me to serve? This is the question I ask every time I spend time with my grandchildren, with long-term sufferers, with cancer fighters, and with anyone whose heart is moved and opened when they hear that I’m visiting the oncologist again this week!

I’m sure there may be others. But this sounds like a pretty decent place to start!

* You can read all the posts in this series here.