Finding Contentment in a World of Want
Do you struggle with contentment? I do. Throughout my life, I’ve looked at the lives of others and desired more. I have wished for an HGTV-worthy home, clothes like all the Instagram influencers wear, a large readership like my favorite bloggers, a fancy degree from a dream college, a child as obedient as theirs, and the like.
Do you feel this constant longing too? Does every scroll through Instagram or Pinterest leave you scowling in disgust at your own life by comparison?
At times, I believed that if only one of my wishes were fulfilled, then I could truly be content as the Bible commands. Yet each time I received one of those desires, I found something else to wish for.
So, how do we cultivate real contentment? Some of us may seek to achieve it by striving and toiling until we bring these realities to life. Others reach for it by creating a gratitude list that they review every morning at their bedside. Yet Scripture shows neither brings lasting contentment—we first need heart surgery by the Great Physician.
Discontented Israelites
This isn’t just my story; it’s the story of the Israelites, too.
The Israelites stood at the edge of the Promised Land. They had spent forty years wandering the desert while discontentment wailed from their lips; they wanted better food, they were tired of walking, and they feared their enemies. When they finally arrived at the Promised Land, we all believed their discontentment would end with their journey.
Yet before they settled in the land, God told Moses, “When I have brought them into the land flowing with milk and honey, which I swore to give to their fathers, and they have eaten and are full and grown fat, they will turn to other gods and serve them, and despise me and break my covenant” (Deut. 31:20). If you read the rest of the Old Testament, you will see that that’s exactly what they did.
Like the Israelites, many of us tend to believe that if only life turned out just the way we wanted, then obedience would be easier. If only we had more sleep, had an easier child, had more money, were married . . . then we could be content in Christ.
However, we all fall short in every condition. The Israelites sinned when they had everything they could ask for, just as Adam and Eve sinned in the perfection of the Garden of Eden. Even in the most ideal situations, we are still prone to wander from our God when we hear the Serpent imply God is holding out on us.
True contentment only comes when we are content in Christ.
Where Does Contentment in Christ Begin?
The world says that we can achieve contentment through positive thinking or daily gratitude lists. While those are helpful, they aren’t the true solution. What if you lost everything? What if you aren’t able to put a positive spin on your life? What if you found yourself in the position of Paul the apostle—beaten, imprisoned, lonely, and hungry?
We need to learn contentment like Paul did: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11–13).
Paul found contentment in God. He waited patiently for God to do what he saw best. He knew that everything he had first came from the hand of God (Ps. 50:10–11) and trusted that God orchestrates every moment to work out for his glory and our good (Rom. 8:28–30).
We embody this kind of contentment too by trusting God to not withhold any good thing (Ps. 84:11) and to delight in him above all. Essentially, contentment begins when we stop finding our highest delight and happiness in things, people, or circumstances.
Recognize the Idolatry Underneath
If contentment in God means finding our delight in him, discontentment means we turn to idolatry. To see discontented idolatry in action, examine the life of Rachel. Bitterness, discontentment, and greed marked Rachel’s life. She worshiped something many women still do today: motherhood. She had won the love of Jacob and now she wanted children. Her sister bore children, which caused her even more anger. Rachel saw motherhood as her only source of joy, to the point that she said if she didn’t have children she would die (Gen. 30:1).
In order to get the children she desired, she handed her servant over to Jacob to be his wife and bear children for her. She even sold her husband to her sister for the night to get mandrakes from her nephew, a fruit believed to help fertility.
God did give Rachel the son she so desperately wanted. Yet at his birth she declared, “May the Lord add to me another son!” (Gen. 30:24).
When Jacob fled from his father-in-law’s home after much mistreatment, Rachel stole her father’s household gods—likely because she believed they could grant her fertility and more babies. Her misplaced worship led to sin, upon sin, upon sin and unrelenting despair.
Rachel wasn’t content in God because she didn’t trust him like Paul did. Rather than being satisfied in God alone, she constantly sought earthly delights to make her whole. She did whatever it took to grasp this idol she so desired. Yet even when she received it, it wasn’t good enough, and she pursued her sinful desires (just like the Israelites did).
No idol will ever satisfy. Only God does, and our hearts cannot be torn between worshiping God and idols. We must choose—will we serve our idols, or will we serve God alone? We cannot have two masters (Matt. 6:24). Will we live a life of continual dissatisfaction and constant want, or will we place our trust and love in God alone?
Fight Against Comparison
Social media is a place to not just showcase our lives, but design and portray them the way we want to be seen. We add filters, tidy a bright corner of the house, craft the right words, set up the perfect Instagram picture—we have the power to rewrite our lives before the world.
Though we know this, we still compare our branded feeds. Why doesn’t my house look like that? Why aren’t my children as well-behaved? Why doesn’t my spouse do sweet things like that for me? Why don’t my clothes look so cute? Why isn’t my body that shape? Why don’t we have as much fun?
Ultimately, our minds dance around one big question: why didn’t God give me “that” life?
Comparison leads to discontentment, which leads to envy—sins that lead to sins. Rachel compared herself to Leah and the people of Israel compared themselves to the surrounding nations. Even the first sin began with Eve believing God had withheld a better gift from her. She forgot the beauty God had already blessed her with in the Garden, and she envied the one fruit he had kept back from her. We know how that story ended—sin, upon sin, upon sin.
Like each of these biblical characters, we compare our lives to others, and we believe the lie that God keeps goodness from us. We forget God withholds no good thing from us (Ps. 84:11) and that he works all things out for our holiness (Rom. 8:28–29). Not only that, but comparison also drives us to seek the gifts God has given another while forgetting the gifts he has already given us.
We must challenge our discontented thoughts that cry aloud, “God treats me unfairly!” We must open our eyes to all that God has placed in our own lives out of his abundant grace and set our hearts on loving him more than the gifts he gives by his grace. Rather than compare ourselves with one another, we need to compare our former life with our current life: the former, a life lost in bitter darkness and sin; the current, a life lived in God’s grace and fatherly love.
Learn Real Gratitude
Many sins begin with unruly desires. The porn addict wants to feel good. The greedy miser may have once been in poverty and now fears giving money to those in need. These desires may not necessarily be bad, but when we want something enough to sin, then we have built an idol.
Yet contentment and thanksgiving guard against sin. As Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. Obscene and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks” (Eph. 5:3–4, emphasis mine).
We miss the mark on this, however, when we seek the virtue of contentment only through positive thinking and gratitude lists. Yes, we should be grateful for all God gives us, but we mustn’t ground our contentment in what fails, fades, or falters. Contentment takes our sights off ourselves and our possessions and focuses on Christ.
Paul wrote in Philippians that the secret to contentment is finding our strength in Christ—not in having our desires fulfilled or by submitting to sin, but clinging to Christ. Rather than putting hope in this passing world—believing it will provide peace, might, or freedom—we should seek Christ in whom our only hope for life is found. Not idols or desires, but Christ alone.
Lara d’Entremont is first a wife and a mom to three little wildlings. While the wildlings snore, she designs websites and edits for other writers, but her first love is writing—whether it be personal essays, creative nonfiction, or fantasy novels. She desires to weave the stories between faith and fiction, theology and praxis, for women who feel as if these two pieces of them are always at odds. You are welcome to visit her online home at laradentremont.com.