Carrying the Burdens of Others
In 1972, “Lean on Me” was released by singer-songwriter Bill Withers on his album Still Bill, and the song was an immediate success. I (Cheryl) first remember hearing “Lean on Me” in 1987, when Club Nouveau released their version of the song. Again, it shot to the top of the charts, winning a Grammy that year for best R&B song. Even today the classic hit is ranked number 208 on “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time” by Rolling Stone. “Lean on Me” has a catchy tune that’s hard to forget, but it’s the simple lyrics that make a lasting impression. They speak to the reality that we all need someone to lean on. We need an understanding friend who helps us keep going when we’re ready to give up and who shares the burdens we can’t carry alone.
Thousands of years earlier, the author of Ecclesiastes realized his need for the same kind of friend. He wrote, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Eccles. 4:9–10). Woe is a strong word, meaning intense grief, misery, or affliction. To use the author’s word-picture, God’s people are colaborers who toil side by side. We till, plant, and reap in whatever fields the Lord has given us. But as we labor and toil, sometimes we stumble and fall. What woe if we fall alone! But what comfort and strength we receive when another believer lifts us up and helps us to keep going.
A Burdened Friend
When Kristine asked if she and I (Caroline) could get together to talk, she was extremely discouraged. Although she desired to live for God, Kristine repeatedly fell into old, sinful habits. She read her Bible and prayed sporadically, and when she resolved to be more disciplined in the word and prayer, her mind often wandered. Kristine’s efforts seemed like a waste of time. She felt utterly defeated in her walk with the Lord.
Kristine’s guilt about her stagnant spiritual growth was compounded as she saw others who seemed to have thriving, victorious Christian lives. She wondered what was wrong with her: “Am I even a Christian? Will I ever know the joy of my salvation? Why do I feel so stuck?” Kristine desperately wanted someone to talk to, someone who would not only listen but also understand and give encouragement.
“Kristine desperately wanted someone to talk to, someone who would not only listen but also understand and give encouragement. ”
Sometimes Kristine would send me texts telling me she was having a hard day, feeling emotionally and spiritually drained, and I’d reply with encouraging Bible verses and words of hope. Inevitably, Kristine would feel guilty about coming to me for help with the same problems time and time again, saying, “I’m so sorry, Caroline. I don’t want to burden you with my issues, but I’m still struggling.” I’d reassure Kristine that we’re meant to bear one another’s burdens, and that I was not only available but also willing and eager to help.
Kristine needed someone to spiritually walk alongside her for many months. I listened to her concerns and asked a lot of questions so I could understand her better. I prayed for wisdom when I felt like I had none to give and pointed her to Christ and his word whenever I could. I began reminding Kristine of others long ago who’d also been discouraged, such as Elijah, Jeremiah, Jonah, and Job. These were real people with real struggles, and the Lord proved to them that he’s always trustworthy and good. As we read about and discussed their lives, Kristine began to understand God’s unwavering lovingkindness toward his people in the past and to realize that the Lord loves her in the same faithful way.
In time, Kristine’s walk with the Lord took a significant turn. I could actually see it! She became strong in her faith and began sharing Bible verses with me for my encouragement. Kristine experienced a renewed confidence in the Lord’s love for her and a joy in living each day for him. She told me that through our friendship, she learned that Jesus is the perfect friend—the friend of sinners—who did not come for the self-righteous but for the weak and needy. She saw him as her ultimate burden bearer who bore her sin on the cross, and now nothing could separate her from his love.
As I look back on those intense months of walking alongside Kristine, I’m thankful I could share the weight of her burdens through prayer and the encouragement of the Scriptures. Kristine is now a dear friend. She grew in her relationship with the Lord and so did I, as we learned to trust him together. I also learned more of what it means to be like Christ as I was challenged to patiently love Kristine and help carry her burdens.
Bear One Another’s Burdens
“As followers of Christ, we share a special relationship, or fellowship, with one another because we belong to him.”
Jesus commanded us to love one another as he has loved us. He said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34–35). As followers of Christ, we share a special relationship, or fellowship, with one another because we belong to him. The highest expression of the fellowship we share is love—a love that emulates the sacrificial, enduring love of Christ. One of the most significant ways we show that kind of love is by bearing one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 says it plainly: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Let’s take a moment to carefully observe what this verse says and means, emphasizing one key word or phrase at a time:
What does it mean to bear? It means to carry, but there’s more to it than that. It means to carry with endurance. It’s an expression of love that perseveres even in difficulty. And notice in Galatians 6:2 that it’s a command!
What is a burden? A burden is trouble that heavily weighs on someone. It’s a load that’s difficult to bear alone.
What exactly is the law of Christ? It’s the law of love. Christ’s law, or command, is that we love one another as he has loved us (John 13:34–35; Gal. 5:13–14).
And, finally, what does it mean that we fulfill the law of Christ? It simply means that when we love one another as he commands, we’re obeying Jesus—we’re doing exactly what he wants us to do.
In order to fulfill the law of Christ, our good intentions aren’t enough. It’s not the thought that counts. It’s our obedience to Christ that makes a difference in the lives of those we love. We must not only be aware of the burdens that they carry; we must also be active in sharing the weight of those burdens. We may have our own concerns and troubles, but we are still responsible to help others with theirs. We like how one author put it: “Every believer is called to be one of God’s bellhops, always ready to pick up someone else’s baggage” (Philip Ryken, Galatians, Reformed Expository Commentary, 248).
Sometimes we help carry another’s burden, or “baggage,” in practical ways such as taking a meal to a new mother, running errands for a sick friend, giving gift cards to an unemployed family, or inviting a widow over for dinner. Often, though, to “bear one another’s burdens” involves giving spiritual help to another person. Spiritual help isn’t tangible. You can’t touch it or put a price tag on it. Rather, it’s communicated by words—the words we speak directly to the burdened and the words we pray to God on their behalf. We can provide spiritual help by listening (Prov. 18:13), sympathizing (Rom. 12:15), giving encouragement (Eph. 4:29), and interceding for others, praying that they’ll receive mercy and grace in their time of need (Heb. 4:16). Isn’t this how Jesus loves us even now? He listens, sympathizes, encourages, and intercedes for us. In these same ways, we can also love others and bear their burdens, and by doing so, we will obey Jesus.
Content taken from When Words Matter Most by Cheryl Marshall and Caroline Newheiser, ©2021. Used by permission of Crossway.
Cheryl Marshall (MM, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) is a wife, mom, counselor, and Bible teacher. She has over twenty-five years of experience teaching and discipling women, and she currently serves as director of women’s ministries at Founders Baptist Church in Spring, Texas. You can connect with her at cherylmarshall.com.
Caroline Newheiser (MACC, Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte) is an ACBC-certified counselor. She has been a pastor’s wife for over thirty years and is currently the assistant coordinator of women’s counseling at Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte. Caroline’s ministries include counseling, blogging, and speaking to women’s groups. You can connect with her at carolinenewheiser.com.