Editor’s Note: This is a repost of The Implications of God. It appears at GCD with the author’s permission.
Face in my hands. Elbows on the table. My husband is sitting across from me at our lovely unsuspecting Italian restaurant. He pushes in close, but I don’t have words to define the tears hitting the table. He knows. More than two years ago we prayed a prayer — God, we will do anything — and its repercussions are everywhere.
Our anythings seem to be costing us everything. Nothing about our previously sane lives are the same. In the last year we have given up all control, and God has taken us up on those simple and naive little words.
Anything Means Anything
Since we prayed that prayer, God has led us to adopt a three-and-half-year-old little boy from Rwanda, making us a family of six. We sold our house, merged our church with another local church, turned over leadership and our previous roles to others, and for the past year, we have been writing and living three book publication projects — but that isn’t everything. So, we are tired and empty.
My husband moves in even closer to me at the table. Ironically, I’m leaving the next day to be interviewed about the book that is honestly the cause of all of it … all the anythings. Yet, I can’t remember why we are doing any of it. I’m so tired and unsure of myself and worst of all, God feels far, far away.
My husband whispers, “It’s been a hard year.” And strangely, it is comforting to admit that following God is hard. I ask myself, “Would I take it back?”
Because of The Gospel
God’s very existence demands these words from us — I will do anything. If we find ourselves at the feet of a God who made us and set us in our time and space on this planet, which He spoke into being, what other life are we to lead than the one He wrote for us? And if it costs us everything (for the little while we live on this planet) — comfort and approval and control and ease — how will we answer?
Jesus did this. He lived all-in, with one foot in heaven and one on this earth. With eternity clear in His mind He said, “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.” (John 6:38)
The implications of knowing His Father was simply to obey Him.
What Obeying Looks Like
The implications of obeying God for us are the same: keep our heads down and listen and do what He says, even if it leads to crying over our pasta sometimes.
And He will probably say things like:
- “Give the lunch you just got from the Chick-fil-A drive-thru to the woman with the cardboard sign outside your car window.”
- “Ease up on your kids — I am not this hard on you, and I am God.”
- “Get rid of what you don’t need and don’t keep chasing stuff because you won’t be here long.”
- “Encourage and remind each other that I am real, and that I’m worth it. I promise.”
- “Come back to me everyday. I’m really here. I really see you.”
My husband and I aren’t going to take it back. I would rather have nights that hurt than disobey. And underneath all the hard is a life that I wouldn’t trade anyway. I love my anythings — even the hardest ones.
Jennie Allen’s passion is to communicate a bigger God through writing and teaching. She serves in ministry alongside her husband, Zac. They have four children and live in Austin, Texas. Jennie’s blog can be found at www.JennieAllen.com.
To go deeper into the Gospel, read Unbelievable Gospel by Jonathan Dodson.